The Divine Inhuman Form

Good evening, monsters and monstresses, today I must declare a revolution! A revolution, of the Earth around the sun, once again, completing yet another year on this insignificant, little planet.
But this is no mere anniversary of vows matrimonial, judicial or even funereal; rather this is yet again the anniversary of when I was first unleashed into this existence. Today is my birthday.

Happy Birthday to you,
but beware what you do...
or this might be the last time
that we sing this to you.

Oh, I do love that song... It's a sinister celebration of what most would consider a day of joy and light and life; a memento mori, a reminder of death. It may seem unusual to commemorate each year of one's life with a reminder of death, but I find it apt. Not only because my birthday is 13 days before halloween, allowing for this yearly round of the Halloween Countdown, but because I enjoy the odd, the horrific, the unseemly.

And this year is no different, I'm looking at things that most people don't do, or I should say most humans. This year, we've faced the inhumane quite a lot. Not only with developing technologies that supposedly think to themselves, but also questioning whether we should reconcile our dark past and dare I even mention, the war and bloodshed?
So, I find it fitting that the theme of this year's Halloween Countdown, and the Word of the Day is: INHUMAN

Inhuman /in'hyūmən/ adj. 1. Lacking qualities of sympathy, pity, warmth, compassion, or the like; cruel; brutal: An inhuman master. 2. Not suited for human beings. 3. Not human.

We can face unthinking monsters, man's inhumanity to man, and perhaps even those things which exceed human ability, or understanding. Although, admittedly, I have been thinking a lot about artficial intelligence and the horrors of the mind-like machine. Can blood and flesh ever compete with ones and zeroes? I want to find out.

I'm the Absurd Word Nerd and I hope you'll join me as we explore humanity's dark opposition, found both within and without ourselves.
Until Next Time, why not join me for a piece of birthday cake. I promise you, I didn't poison it this time...

Skepticism 102: How to Argue Wrong

You don't know how to argue properly.

That's not just directed at you, but also most people you know... most people you don't know, and even me. It's a fundamental flaw of humanity that we tend not to know how to present a convincing argument. The reason why, well, I covered that in Part 1 of this retrospectively titled Student Skeptic series, please read that if you haven't, as it is a prerequisite reading for this continuing lesson.

Now, I recognize that "argument" is a bit of a loaded word, since an argument can be a reasonable presentation of ideas... and it can also be a shouting match between two people. I looked up the meaning in the dictionary, and apparently this has always been the case. Whilst "argue" comes from the Latin "arguere" meaning the act of proving, reasoning or (literally) illuminating, it could also be used to mean blaming, indicting or accusing, and one dictionary claimed it was frequentatively used to mean babble or chatter. So, it's always had this antagonistic, perhaps even dismissive aspect.
That could be because the word is flawed, or it could be indicative of just how poor humans are at arguing that the definition of "presenting evidence" is tainted with accusation, but that's pure speculation on my part, I'm not an etymologist...

It's part of the reason why, I don't actually like the word "argument", I prefer "debate", since debate is a formal, public discussion of a question or subject, so as to discuss opposing views. Even an unstructured debate is, in principle at least, more open to opposing views. But, it's flawed, since debates are usually an open forum... so, for the sake of clarity, let's call a spade a spade, and I'll be using the word "argument" for any form of disagreement, be it debate or debacle.

See, the fundamental flaw with arguing is two-fold. Firstly, when we argue we tend to rely on things which are, to put it lightly, completely irrelevant. Our mood at the time, our flawed understanding, the status of ourselves or our opponents. Human social interaction is fraught with extraneous details. This is a beautiful thing, the many layers of empathy, experience, expression and emotion... but when it comes to matters of fact and basis in reality, truth can get lost in the shuffle.
If you want to argue why a particular position is right, or true, you really ought to focus on the proven facts of the case at hand.
Secondly, arguing is fundamentally flawed because... well, people are convinced by bad arguments. As I said, human social interaction is multi-faceted, and although it makes no sense to fall for an argument because someone says "Of course the Moon is made of cheese, what are you, stupid?", but humans can be nonsensical sometimes.

So, I think that's the first thing you need to understand with this lesson. Whilst I am here to teach you about the flaws in argument, so that you can have a better means of identifying truth, that doesn't mean you're going to become some irrefutable debatant. We're not here to convince the unwashed masses... I'm here to teach you how to be less wrong, and that means teaching you not only how to present your position, but also how to be receptive when someone else presents a better position.
Yes, I recognize I'm basically teaching you how to argue with yourself, but it's a useful skill when you're trying to find out what is most likely true, and what is most likely false.

Now, I find that the best way to teach you how to argue well is to show you how not to argue, and go from there. First thing first, when making your case, you should try to avoid fallacy. What is Fallacy? Well, I'm glad you asked because The Word of the Day is: FALLACY

Fallacy /falləsee/ n. 1. A deceptive, misleading, or false notion, belief, etc.: That the world is flat was at one time a popular fallacy. 2. A misleading or unsound argument. 3. Deceptive, misleading, or false nature; erroneousness. 4. Logic. Any of various types of erroneous reasoning that render arguments logically unsound. 5. Obsolete. Deception.

Since we're talking about skepticism and argumentation, the most relevant of these definitions is "4.", the definition in regards to logic. That said, the main definitions are also accurate—as all fallacy is misleading, deceptive or false; it's ultimately a failure of reason.
There are many ways to reason incorrectly, but for ease of understanding, many of them have actually been identified and named. The following list is intended to be comprehensive, and if you see where it is lacking, please let me know, but this list may be incomplete. Many fallacies are known by their Latin names, because philosophers are nerds, but I will list them by their English name...

A COMPREHENSIVE* LIST OF FALLACIES

Anecdotal Evidence: trying to use a personal or isolated event as proof for a general or widespread claim.
(Latin: "mea historia"; also known as "unscientific evidence" or a "nonrepresentative sample")

Appeal to Ambiguity: using words with unclear or indefinite meanings to try to prove one's claim.
(Latin: "argumentum ad ambiguitas" - note: This fallacy refers to many forms of imprecise language, but includes more specific instances, such as: Amphiboly [or Syntactic Ambiguity], Continuum Fallacy [or Fallacy of the Beard, related: Loki's Wager], Equivocation [or Lying by Omission], Etymological Fallacy, Insinuation [or Innuendo], Intensional Fallacy, Misleading Accent [Latin: "accentus"], Motte-and-Bailey Fallacy [or Debate and Switch], Polysemy, Principle of Explosion [Latin: "ex falso quodlibet"] & Reification [or Fallacy of Misplaced Concreteness])

Appeal to Authority: claiming that the celebrity or intellect of a claimant alone is enough to substantiate a claim.
(Latin: "argumentum ad auctoritum" or "argumentum ad verecundium"; also known as "argument from authority" or "false attribution"; related to the "courtier's reply")

Appeal to Character: attacking an opponent's character or personal traits, as proof against their claims.
(Latin: "argumentum ad hominem"; also known as a "personal attack" - note: This fallacy refers to many forms of character denigration, but includes more specific instances, such as: Appeal to Motive, Poisoning the Well, Tone Policing & the Traitorous Critic Fallacy [Latin: "ergo decedo"] - see also Genetic Fallacy)

Appeal to Emotion: trying to convince through feeling, instead of a valid argumentation.
(Latin: "argumentum ad adfectum" or "argumentum ad passiones" - note: This fallacy refers to many forms of emotional reasoning, but includes more specific instances, such as: Appeal to Anxiety [or Think of the Children], Appeal to Flattery, Appeal to Guilt , Appeal to Hope [or Wishful Thinking], Appeal to Pity [or the Galileo Argument], Appeal to Rage [or Appeal to Justice] & Appeal to Spite -)

Appeal to Frustration: presenting several claims or comments, overwhelming one's opponent, rather than allowing them to focus on a single debate topic.
(Latin: "argumentum ad nauseum"; also known as "filibuster" or the "gish gallop")

Appeal to Hypocrisy: responding to criticism by claiming one's opponent is also guilty.
(Latin: "tu quoque"; also known as "whataboutism" or the "you too defence")

Appeal to Incredulity: claiming a claim is wrong because it is difficult for you to understand.
(Latin: "argumentum ad incredulitas"; also known as "argument from ignorance", "appeal to common sense", the "divine fallacy", the "moralistic fallacy" or the "psychologist's fallacy")

Appeal to Moderation: assuming that a compromise between opposing viewpoints is the most valid or fair.
(Latin: "argumentum ad moderatio"; also known as "false compromise" or "fallacy of the mean". )

Appeal to Nature: arguing that something is good, ideal, just, true or valid because it is natural.
(Latin: "argumentum ad naturam"; also known as "look at the trees")

Appeal to Popularity: claiming something is true, or valid, because it is common, popular or widespread.
(Latin: "argumentum ad populum"; also known as "bandwagon fallacy" - note: This fallacy refers to many forms of preferential popularity, but includes more specific instances, such as: Appeal to Commonality [Latin "ad numeram"], Appeal to Novelty [Latin: "ad novitam"] & Appeal to Tradition [Latin: "ad antiquitatem"])

Appeal to Possibility: Claiming that something is probable, because it is possible.
(Latin: "possibiliter ergo probabiliter"; also known as "appeal to probability" - see also Slippery Slope)

Appeal to Purity: claiming that a valid criticism only applies to invalid forms of one's claim. (Latin: "argumentum ad puritas"; also known as "no true scotsman" - see also Special Pleading)

Appeal to Repetition: repeating the same claim over and over, wearing down an opponent's patience or stamina, rather than logic.
(Latin: "argumentum ad infinitum"; also known as "going in circles" or "proof by assertion" - see also Appeal to Incredulity)

Appeal to Ridicule: asserting that because a claim is counter-intuitive, unusual or humorous, it is invalid.
(Latin: "argumentum ad absurdo" or "argumentum ad lapidum"; also known as "appeal to mockery", "appeal to the stone" or "the horse laugh")

Appeal to Violence: threatening harm to your opponent, to convince them to your claims, rather than logic.
(Latin: "argumentum ad baculum"; also known as "appeal to force" or "argument from the stick")

Bare Assertion: a claim presented without support, evidence or reason; or an opinion expressed as though it were a fact.
(Latin: "ipse dixit")

Begging the Question: a claim whose premises assert the conclusion, rather than support it.
(Latin: "petitio principii"; also known as "assuming the conclusion"; related to "Kafkatrapping" - see also Circular Reasoning)

Burden of Disproof: asserting that an unsubstantiated claim is true, until it has been disproven.
(Latin: "onus probandi"; also known as "russell's teapot" or "shifting the burden of proof")

Causal Fallacy: asserting or assuming the cause for an effect, without proof of causality.
(Latin: "non causa pro causa" - note: This fallacy refers to many forms of causal misattribution, but includes more specific instances, such as: Causal Reductionism [or Fallacy of the Single Cause], Gambler's Fallacy [or the Monte Carlo Problem], Magical Thinking, One-Way Causality [or Ignoring Bidirectional Causation], Regression Fallacy [or the Historical Fallacy] Reverse Causality [or Wrong Direction], Spurious Correlation [Latin: "post hoc ergo propter hoc"] & Third-Cause Fallacy [or Ignoring a Common Cause])

Circular Reasoning: making a claim which includes its unproven conclusion within its own premise.
(Latin: "circulus in probandi"; also known as a "round argument")

Composition Fallacy: claiming that a quality of one part must be equally shared by the whole.
(Latin: "totum pro parte" or "modo hoc"; also known as "false conjunction" or the "package-deal fallacy" - see also Division Fallacy)

Division Fallacy: claiming that a quality of the whole must be equally shared by one part.
(Latin: "pars pro toto"; also known as "ecological fallacy" - see also Composition Fallacy)

Fallacy Fallacy: assuming that a claim is wrong because it's claimant used a fallacy.
(Latin: "argumentum ad logicam"; also known as "argument from fallacy" - see also Genetic Fallacy)

False Dichotomy: claiming that just two (or very few) options exist, ignoring other, valid options.
(Latin: "falsus dilemma"; also known as "black-and-white thinking", the "nirvana fallacy" or the "perfect solution fallacy"; related to "false analogy")

Formal Fallacy: When the conclusion of a claim does not logically follow from the premises.
(Latin: "non sequitur" - note: This fallacy refers to many forms of illogical structure, but includes more specific instances, such as: Affirming the Consequent, Denying the Antecedent, Affirming a Disjunct, Denying a Conjunct, Fallacy of Exclusive Premises, Fallacy of Four Terms, Fallacy of Necessity, Illicit Commutativity, Illicit Major, Illicit Minor, Affirmative Conclusion from Negative Premises, Negative Conclusion from Affirmative Premises & Fallacy of the Undistributed Middle)

Genetic Fallacy: assuming that a claim is wrong because of the nature of its origins, motive, or claimant.
(Latin: "argumentum ab originis"; also known as "association fallacy", "guilt by association" or "honour by association" - note: This fallacy refers to many forms of categorical dismissal, but includes more specific instances, such as: Appeal to the Purse [Latin: "argumentum ad crumenam"], Bulverism [or Psychogenetic Fallacy], False Equivalence [or Comparing Apples and Oranges] & Playing the Nazi Card [Latin: "reductio ad hitlerum"])

Incomplete Evidence: presenting data that supports one's claim, whilst ignoring data which disputes it.
(Latin: "malum specimen"; also known as "cherry-picking", "base rate neglect", "false-positive paradox", "hasty generalization", "incomplete comparison", "prosecutor's fallacy", "proving too much", the "quantitative fallacy", "suppressed evidence" or the "texas sharpshooter fallacy" - see also Special Pleading)

Irrelevant Conclusion: presenting a counter-claim that is valid and logically sound, but irrelevant to the proponent's claims.
(Latin: "ignoratio elenchi"; also known as "missing the point" or a "red herring" - see also Strawman Argument)

Loaded Question: asking a question which has assumption or bias implicit in its phrasing, or a question which outright makes two claims, whilst purporting to make one.
(Latin: "plurium interrogationum" or "ducens inquisitum"; also known as "biased question", the "conjunction fallacy" [or the "Linda problem"] or a "double-barrelled question")

Slippery Slope: claiming that a harmless/neutral position is invalid, as it might lead to something worse.
(Latin: "ignota consequentia"; also known as "appeal to consequences"; related to "jumping to conclusions")

Special Pleading: dismissing valid criticism by claiming one's position is uniquely immune to it.
(Latin: "argumentum ad immunitas"; also known as "double-standard", "nut-picking", "shifting the goalposts" or "survivorship bias")

Strawman Argument: misrepresenting an opponent's position as a weaker claim instead, so it's easier to dismiss.
(Latin: "argumentum ad effigia" - note: This fallacy refers to many forms of claim amelioration, but includes more specific instances, such as: Persuasive Definition & Quoting Out-of-Context [or Quote Mining, also a Contextotomy])

As you can see, there are dozens of fallacies, and they are all fallacious in their own particular ways. When arguing logically, or trying to understand the truth of a claim, you must avoid using these if you wish to have a valid argument.
Now, this alone does not guarantee that a statement is false - there is after all the "Fallacy Fallacy", just because an argument is unsound doesn't mean the statement being made is wrong:
     "Of course the Earth isn't flat, what are you, stupid?" (appeal to character)
     "It's a bad idea to run with scissors, because Mummy told me so." (appeal to authority)
     "If you keep calling homosexuals 'unnatural', I'll punch you in the face." (appeal to violence)
These claims here are all accurate... but the arguments being used to prove them (or, silence dissent) aren't truly reasonable. That doesn't mean these claims are false — far from it — but it means the arguments have failed, and that's an important distinction.

If you avoid these fallacies, that should greatly improve your ability to reason, and argue your position... but that said, how do you argue well?
You might want to look into propositional calculus, and logical axioms, but at the end of the day, there's only two good ways to argue:

1. If you're arguing Fact (truth, reality and the way things are — describing how things are), then you must present evidence that what you're claiming comports with reality.
2. If you're arguing Opinion (values, morals or things you prefer — prescribing how you believe things should be), then you should establish some common belief, opinion, want or need between you and your opponent (or the target of your opinion; be that an individual, a community, or humanity as a whole), and from there, use exemplary evidence to convince others of your preference.
   

So, evidence... yeah, that's kind of it. There's also reason and logic, and when you're arguing prescriptively, it gets more complicated and requires a better understanding of logic... but it's still all about facts and proveable concepts.

In a way, it's surprising that it's so easy, since all you need to do is stop wasting time with the other stuff, but that's also what makes it complicated. Human beings are biased, emotional, messy things... I think I've said that three times now, but it's true. For a lot of us, we've already been convinced of things because of fallacy. Just think about the number of things that teachers, parents and peers taught you, and their reason was "if you don't, you'll be punished" or "do it because I told you to" or "do it, come on, we're all doing it"...
It is true, to err is human, and that is especially true of reason. Humans don't know how to argue properly. And even when you do, you may find yourself unable to convince others.

But, that's why argument and debate isn't really the point of this post... if you want to use this to engage in argument in an open forum, I whole-heartedly support you (Good Luck!). But, as far as I'm concerned, an understanding of fallacy is a necessary element of introspection, self-skepticism and personal truth-seeking.
It sounds silly, but I want you to argue with yourself, to question your own beliefs, and investigate whether they are built on a foundation of reason, fact and logic... or one of these many fallacies.

Informal fallacy is a part of human social interaction, we are irrational beings, but if you start with yourself, and develop your own beliefs, then you are able to step back into informal debate and argument, and be able to support your own beliefs.
I occasionally argue with others, philosophically, politically, morally, but my goal is never to prove anyone else wrong (people tend to get offended when you tell them they're wrong), rather, my goal is to convince myself of the other person's beliefs. If I fail, I explain to the opponent why I'm still skeptical, and present my own counter-points, based on my reason.
I don't try to prove anyone else wrong, I try to prove me wrong, and if I can't, I explain why - because I'm a skeptic, and I want to give other claims their best chance of convincing me. I don't point out fallacies as a "gotcha" to try to shut down debate... I point them out to explain "you can't convince me without reason, please provide a better argument".

See ultimately, that's the most important part of understanding argumentation - argument is fraught with peril, because of how complicated it is, but the worst possible way to argue is by trying to prove anyone else wrong. You'll never convince anyone else by isolating their wrength and pointing it out to them. To most people, pointing out where they're wrong is basically saying "Look, this is how stupid you are!", and as I pointed out in Part 1 of this series, most people aren't ready to accept that they're stupid — heck, I've been a skeptic for years, and I struggle to admit when I'm wrong — so instead, I want to focus on self-reflection, because at least then there's more room for rational debate.

If you're reading this, hoping to find a way to prove your opponent wrong... you've already failed.

I'm the Absurd Word Nerd, and let me know if you've ever come across one of these fallacies "in the wild" - I'm sure you have, and having a list as "comprehensive" as this will hopefully make you realize just how common they are. Until Next Time, I'm going to go argue with myself about what I'm going to post tomorrow...

Going Down in Flames

 Welcome back, my mortal morsels, to the annual Halloween Countdown, where we are preparing for a celebration of the dead, the dangerous, the dreary and the delectably dark. Once again, we find ourselves thirteen nights from Halloween. And in case you've failed to remember... the reason why we begin our countdown /now/ is because today is my birthday

Happy Birthday to you... but Beware what you do...
Or this might be the last time, That we sing this to you.

I struggled to find a theme for this year's Halloween Countdown - some guiding principle behind which to power the engine that is this macabre metric. But, in the absence of my success, I had an epiphany. If there's one thing that has defined this year - perhaps even the last few years on this miserable, little planet - it is failure.

The Word of the Day is: FAIL

Fail /fayl/ v.i. 1. To fall short or be wanting in action, detail, or result. 2. To be insufficient or absent: Our supplies may fail. 3. To fall off; dwindle. ♦v.t. 4. To neglect to perform: Despite her promise, she failed to help. 5. To prove of no use or help to: Words fail me. 6. To take (an examination, etc.) without passing: He failed Maths this year. 7. To declare (a person) unsuccessful in a test, course of study, etc.: The teacher failed him in class. ♦n. 8. Without fail, for certain; with certainty.

You Have all Failed.

When it comes to handling the plague, we all had choices to make, to decide how many would die. At best, three thousand (~300,000) people would die; but, if we completely failed to act, then over one hundred and fifty million (~150,000,000) people would die.
At time of writing, just over six million, five-hundred thousand (6,500,000) people have died. Now, I'm no mathematician - I'm not even a mathy-mortician - but six and a half million is a lot more deaths than three-hundred thousand. And the numbers are still, slowly but surely, rising...

When it comes to the end of the world as we know it, we are running out of time. The boffins have set a 2030 deadline to prevent the global climate from rising 2°C or more... but these numbers betray a much darker truth.
A rise of one degree will change our climate for the worse, and currently we've changed the global climate by 1.2°C (2.2°F); and, as anyone with eyes and skin can attest, it already has. The climate has become more volatile over the last few years. But, most people know this - the response is palliative, not preventative - but now even the experts are saying that their deadline was optimistic, and it may already be too late...

When it comes to freedom, safety and education we are regressing. Nazis and bigots of the world were given the reins for far too long in recent years, leading to record highs of human rights abuses in recent years. Not only this, but it's lead to distrust, paranoia and conflict amongst the rest of the human cattle.

In the face of these fundamental, human failures you could be crushed under the weight of your own incompetency, allow yourself to be destroyed by your own delicious deficiencies.
Or, you could step back, stand above, look down at the pitiful peasantry, and celebrate their inadequacies. There's no turning back now, we're haemorrhaging out vital fluids and there's no putting the blood back in this dying body. So, let's watch it die, and autopsy the remains... and as I always say, if you're going to cut into someone, you might as well have a smile on your face while you're doing it.

I'm the Absurd Word Nerd, and in the following nights, I'm going to explore some of our most damning, devastating failures, and everything that comes with it. Until then, if you're going to fail, you might as well go down in flames.

My Need/Hate Relationship with Sleep

I have seen, in certain circles of culture, that people seem to love going to bed. This seems to be due to either a general nostalgia, or desire for comfort, to wrap up in blankets, which has mental health vibes of self-care, since sleep is good for the mind; there's also some kind of lazy positivity that is in part self-aware and self-deprecating, but in other parts defeatist and self-critical, since sleep is akin to being lazy; or, in some sad cases, a kind of "doomer", "pseudo-cidal" disaffected apathy that you see in mid- & post-teenaged hakikkomori types, since it's coveting the depression aesthetic & the idea that being awake, or alive, is "lame". But I don't see why. If anything, I wish I could always stay awake. The Word of the Day is: 'INSOMNIA'

Insomnia /in'somneeə/ n. Inability to obtain sufficient sleep, especially when chronic; difficulty in falling or staying asleep; sleeplessness.

So, there's a broad spectrum of people that seem to "enjoy" sleep. Whilst I understand these mindsets, I can never truly empathize with them because I honestly Hate sleep. That may be a little controversial, since even those who don't prefer sleep, often like sleep, at times. It's meant to be comfortable, restful and peaceful. But personally? No, I hate it. I hate every single unconscious second of it. I hate that it intrudes on my waking life in the form of tiredness; I hate that it dictates my schedule & I absolutely hate that I have to spend a third of my life in this incoherent, thoughtless void.
And yes, I say "thoughtless void" because I don't seem to dream very much. Now, full disclosure, this may in part be because I take anti-anxiety medication, which has been known to make dreams less frequent or common, so that may be the reason why I consider most sleep a dark void. Also, from what I've read, dreams are easier to recall if you put in the effort, and as I am disinterested in the personal experience of sleep and dreams, I don't do that - so that might be why I don't dream very often. But, I still don't like sleep, whether I dream or not.
Even when I dream, I still hate it because, due to the inactive parts of my brain, I can't tell what is and isn't real. So, I end up either believing nonsense until I come to my senses after I wake up, or I waste an immeasurable amount of time trying to make sense of a senseless world - and that's even if we ignore nightmares.

See, even when it's an "enjoyable" dream, I still don't like it. For example, I occasionally have dreams where I fly. Who doesn't want to fly, right? I mean, whenever I dream that I fly, I have to flap my arms... that's kind of annoying, and I don't know why my brain insists on flying like a bird instead of superman, but that's beside the point... when I dream, sometimes I can fly, and sure, that's fun. But, guess what happens every time I wake up? I excitedly throw off the covers, ready to go tell everyone about this amazing discovery. But, as the rest of my brain wakes up, I realize that I can't actually fly, and that it was all just a lie my brain made up, and I'm disappointed. This happens every time. Because to me, the experience of flying isn't as much fun as being able to let everyone else try it too.
Or hey, what about sex dreams? They're good fun, right? Well, again, no. Firstly, it's not as good as the real thing, since I'm not feeling everything; secondly, it often uses people I know, and that can make me feel awkward & thirdly, it's called a "wet dream" for a reason...
If it's something impossible, then I don't want to do it because it's not something I can enjoy when fully conscious, and if it's something that is possible, then I'd rather do it in real life.
The worst part is, I have heard stories about people who are inspired by dreams - even artists, poets or writers who find inspiration for their art, writing or stories from dreams. Well, maybe I'm just unlucky, but my dreams never have a coherent plot. My dreams are always nonsensical. There's not even elements that I can use, because they often rely on some surreal context which is impossible to replicate. So, no, none of my dreams are inspiring enough to even write stories from. So, my point is, I hate sleep and I hate dreams.

But I can already here some people saying "well, what about comfort? Don't you enjoy lying down in bed, and getting all snuggled up in blankets when you sleep?"
NO! Look, I am not a monster, I enjoy a nice snuggly blanket and I enjoy being warm... but I hate that I have to do it for sleep. Think about it this way: if you enjoy the sensation of being wrapped up in your blanket, then when you fall asleep you lose that sensation as you lose consciousness and your paralyzed body becomes numb to this world. For me, I like getting snuggled up in a blanket to watch a movie on the couch, or to read a book. Then I get to enjoy the comfort. But your body doesn't want that comfort for you, it wants it for your brain to go into standby mode without your body being exposed to the elements.
And people might be saying "Yes, but don't you like getting a good night's rest?"
But don't you see? You've fallen into the trap - the only reason we feel the need to rest for an entire night is because sleep overcomes us with tiredness. I would much prefer if I didn't get tired at all. Now, I know that's not realistic, we are using energy and it needs to be replenished - but, what if instead of losing consciousness, we just... rested? Y'know, like you usually do after a lot of work? I prefer to lie down and daydream than let sleep take over - since at least when I daydream, I'm still in control, and I'm thinking about something that's real.
Y'know, there was an episode of American Dad that is my ultimate fantasy. I don't care about the plot or the b-story, but in an episode called "Stan Time", the C.I.A. reveals that they invented a pill which eliminates the need for sleep. It recuperates anyone who takes it, with all the energy needed for a 24-hour period. Doesn't that sound like bliss? A pill that removes the need for sleep... I would kill for something like that. Whilst I reference American Dad, I'm sure some others have thought of the concept as well because it's a beautiful idea - and that's what would make me truly happy: benign insomnia.

At first, I used to say that I have a love/hate relationship with sleep. Because I don't really like it, but I do get tired a lot, and so I sleep in sometimes. But, the more I think about it, the more I realize that this isn't some compromise between sleep and myself - it's an abusive relationship. I hate that I have to sleep, but sleep forces me to feel tired, then lose consciousness. If I try to fight back, and stay awake, like I truly want to, then sleep punishes me by making me even more tired, and then intruding on the rest of my day. The fact of the matter is, I like being awake because I like being alive. I like doing things, seeing things, experiencing this reality... but sleep takes that away from me - it takes a whole third of my life away from me. And if I try to leave it behind, then the abusive relationship turns deadly, and sleep threatens to kill me if I don't get enough sleep.

I chose an abusive relationship metaphor, but you could just as easily use an addiction metaphor - one that kills you with withdrawal symptoms. But, at the end of the day, I just don't want to go to sleep. I wish I could stay awake, but I can't. So, I am trapped in this cycle of falling asleep, and waking up, only to need to fall asleep again.

I'm not scared of sleep, I just find it ceaselessly annoying and frustrating, but it only takes the slightest tweak to make this whole situation horrifying... this kafkaesque nightmare of being trapped in a body that doesn't function as I had hoped. But, that is taking it to the extreme. Like I said, I'm not scared of falling asleep, I just hate it - I'm not somnnophobic, but I am a sleep bigot. And I'm not sure exactly what I was hoping to achieve with this post, except to say:
     "My name is Matt, and I hate sleep. And if you hate it too, well, you're not alone..."

I'm the Absurd Word Nerd, and Until Next time, I'll see you again in the waking world.

Phobia File: Loneliness

I wouldn't call myself introverted, but I wouldn't call myself extroverted either. Just like gender expression, morality, neurotype, personality & sexuality, rather than a simple binary, it turns out that our socio-emotional identity is also on a spectrum. I am an ambivert - I like spending time around other people, I thrive in that environment, but I also occasionally need time to myself, isolated from others - I use time alone to write, to orient and understand my ideas in such a way that I can construct a narrative. I enjoy being alone, and I very often need to be alone...
That being said, eventually I will crave social interaction again, and without it I will start to feel truly alone in the world.
The Word of the Day is: 'MONOPHOBIA'

Monophobia /mənə'fōbeeə/ n. Irrational fear of loneliness, or of being alone.

My memories of those days are patchy at best, but I remember a time between high school, and when I first went to university, where I had a month or so of sitting around at home, with little to do. The first time I noticed this fear of mine was when I was reading a book. I can't remember the book exactly, it was one in a series of high fantasy books and although I know the author I don't want to name them since the book was quite bland. In fact, that blandness was part of the issue, because as I was reading, my mind was wandering.
I was sitting in my reclining chair, reading, and the scene was dull, just two characters talking. But as I read, I started to realize that I was reading a book. Usually when I read, the world around me becomes foggy, and I become more engaged in the world of the story. But this time, I became aware that I was reading a book. As I kept reading, I felt bored, and I realized that everything I was reading was not only fiction, but a dull fiction - and I wasn't even half-way through the book yet.
That's when I got this sudden sinking feeling of being trapped in my own mind. I was reading, and watching characters in my mind's eye, but the characters weren't real - they just existed in my head, and I began to panic as I felt like everything I was doing was meaningless, and I felt like I had been trapped in a meaningless fiction.
I suddenly jumped up, threw the book on the ground and banged my fists on my door, trying to get out of my room. My mother heard and came to ask what I was doing, and I grabbed her in a calming hug. At the time I thought I must have lost my temper or had some kind of boredom overdose... but in retrospect I recognize that what I had experienced was a panic attack.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the only time. See, it was around this time that I was first diagnosed with depression. Unfortunately, I don't think I have depression - I suffer from chronic anxiety, and I believe that I was misdiagnosed originally as a result of lowered mood, resulting from stress. But that aside, I had come to realize that whatever was going on in my head wasn't right, and I had decided to tell my parents that I wanted to see a doctor. But, I was nervous, as it was all in my head, so it felt like bringing this up to someone else would come right out of nowhere. They weren't experiencing what I was, so how could they understand?
So, I joined my folks when we went shopping one day on their motorcycles. It was a long drive, about 30 minutes away, so I put on my gear and got on the bike.
But, as I rode pillion, watching the world go past, I felt that feeling again. But this time, I wasn't trapped in a book - I felt like I was trapped in my helmet. Even though, as a function of holding on for safety, my arms were around my father who was driving the motorbike, I still felt alone... because I was suffering from something that I didn't think people around me understood, and I also felt like I couldn't express how I felt and who I was to anyone else.

I did ask for help that day, but I will never forget that feeling of being alone around other people; feeling alone even with my own family. Feeling like the only person in the world...

But the most pertinent example that comes to my mind was actually a few years later, not long before finally being diagnosed with chronic anxiety. See, I like going for walks. Not only is it great to help work out story ideas, but going for a walk in the sunshine can release endorphins, improve circulation and in general by exercising your body it can also exercise your mind, so I walk for my mental health moreso than my physical health.
But on this day, I remember specifically that I went for a walk because I was feeling down, and I didn't want to just sit around at home. So, I went for a walk in a loop around several blocks of my neighbourhood. But there was this moment, it's rather odd to describe, but as I was walking I had the distinct feeling that I was walking on the edge of the world...
The road was flat, there weren't any hills in the area and I was walking along the gutter, but I felt like I was a stone's throw away from the sky, and the whole world felt like it could fall out from under me. Even though I was walking down a quiet suburban street, I felt like I was the furthest away from anyone that I'd ever been. Once again, I felt like I was truly on my own.

So, why do I fear being alone? Well, the answer to that is simple biology and psychology. Humans are social animals, we thrive as a collective whether that be a herd, a tribe or a society. When we are alone, we're more prone to predators, starvation and harm. So, we've evolved such that being around others gives us good feelings and our empathy means that helping others makes us feel helped as well. As a result, we also feel bad when we're alone. Even the most introverted amongst us still need to socialize, even though it's much less than some others.

It is for this reason that loneliness is a common ailment among humankind. Thankfully, for most this does not result in an irrational fear, but during these times of plague, it is undeniable that people are lonelier than ever. Most, if not all people need to socialize, to have that human connection, and I can see how in these times of social distancing, that's become much harder for every single one of us...
Even though we can still contact each other online, whether that be via Skype, Zoom, FaceTime or some other video or text chat, it's still not the same thing and doesn't give that much-needed human connection. Literally, according to one study comparing face-to-face conversations against telephone conversation, when we're separated from someone physically we feel as though the other person empathizes with us less because we aren't able to perceive all of the interactive affiliative behaviours. This means that when we're talking to someone via the phone or over social media, we're less able to detect important social cues, i.e. facial expression, gesture mirroring & listening motions (as well as obvious things like spatial cohabitation and physical touch). Without these, conversations and interactions tend to feel stilted and less satisfying.

Where I live, the political soundbite is "Staying Apart Keeps Us Together". I know what they intend to mean - that social distancing keeps us healthier, and therefore more cohesive - but as it is written not only does that sound like Orwellian Doublespeak, it's also just not true. Staying apart keeps us isolated, that's the whole idea, but as a result it's making this a stressful time, even for those who are entirely healthy.

I'm the Absurd Word Nerd, and I'm afraid I don't have a solution for this. We have to isolate, we have to socially distance and we have to stay safe. I manage my own fears with self-care, but if you feel like you're alone in the world, at the very least remember... we're all alone, together.

The Poo Taboo

Do you realize that there is no casual word for shit?

That's the word I prefer to use for it, but people find that vulgar or rude, since it's a "swear word". The same is true of turd and crap, those are also swear words, although they're considered less rude than shit (perhaps because they lack those plosive fricatives), but some people might still scold you for it, it is a "rude" word after all.
But what isn't rude? Should I actually call it poo? I don't like that word because it sounds so childish - poo, poop and poo-poo, or even doo-doo, doodie or, as some Americans say, caca - it's informal to the point of infantile babble.
Of course, some people might refer to it as "a loaf", or "a dump" or even "a nugget", but these are all genteelisms, they refer to it without stating it explicitly, and you have to know what it is before you know what these things are - it's the same way people call the act itself "visiting the restroom" or "going to the bathroom", you know what it is based on context, but that's not casual, since it's steeped in shame and embarrassment - much more than simply saying you're going to "have a shit", but then we get back to the vulgarity issue again...
So, what about the proper word for it? Stool? Feces? Excrement? Bowel movements? Well, these are too formal, it's so clinical that it becomes another kind of genteelism. After all, the word feces doesn't actually mean "shit", it means "dregs" or "sediment". Excrement as well simply means "anything excreted", which is also true of toothpaste, and even if you're only talking about bodily excrement, it also includes sweat and piss, but I'm not trying to talk about all those bodily fluids, I'm trying to talk about shit.

I was intrigued a while ago when I found a word that is similar to what I'm looking for - scat. It's not overly formal, but it's not so informal that it's vulgar... it's a casual word, you could say it to the king or a kid and no one would be confused or offended. The problem is, scat only refers to wild animal droppings (there's another genteelism for you). The same is true of "dung" or "manure". So, why is shit, specifically human shit even, so difficult to talk about? That's what I'd like to talk about today. The Word of the Day is: 'SHIT'

Shit n. Slang: Vulgar /shit/ 1. Excrement; Feces: Ugh, I stepped in dog shit. 2. An act of defecating; evacuation: He's taking a shit. 3. The Shits. Diarrhea. 4. Possessions, equipment, mementos, etc.; stuff: I put my ex's shit in a box and left it on my front porch. 5. Pretense, lies, exaggeration, or nonsense: I don't want to hear your shit right now. 6. Something inferior or worthless: Her boyfriend treats her like shit, but she won't leave him. 7. Abusive treatment, unpleasant consequences, or general misfortune: I'm not going to take your shit anymore! 8. A selfish, mean, or otherwise contemptible person: You dumb little shit! 9. Narcotic drugs, especially heroin or marijuana: My guy only sells the purest shit. 10. Anything at all; the least thing (usually in the negative): You don't know shit about me. ♦v.i. 11. To defecate. ♦v.t. 12. To exaggerate or lie to: Are you shitting me?

Nobody really likes talking about shit. Y'know, I started thinking about this when I was watching a social commentator in a recent online seminar. I won't mention names, but during the Q& A they were asked about taboos, so they said "I have no shame, I talk about every taboo - politics, religion, drugs, sex and death", and my first thought to that was "what about shit?"
And that thought didn't come from nowhere - a long time ago I saw a fascinating video by Hank Green on the SciShow talking about the Taboos of Science; in that video, he discussed scientific taboos - such as cloning, ethnicity, spirituality & toilets - and the risks such taboos bring to scientific funding, research, education and, ultimately, knowledge. So, this made me think of the poo taboo.
Now, this seminar was quite casual, the speaker was very open and honest, but it was also being filmed, so they couldn't swear. but, they also couldn't just say 'I talk about all the taboos: religion, politics and poo" since that sounds... off, doesn't it? That's what sent me down this rabbit-hole in the first place. We don't like talking about shit. Or poo, or crap, or feces.
There's a couple of reasons for it, I'm not stupid I do "get" why it bothers people. Heck, I had this idea a month ago, but when I first considered doing this during my Countdown, I thought "ugh, I don't want to do the poo post for my Countdown" - but then I realized, that was because of my own taboo. I think this is important to talk about, but even I feel embarrassed having to talk about shit. We all are, I mean, shit itself often smells bad, and it often has a lot of bacteria on it so it can make other people sick; it often attracts flies, which can be a sign of rot and decay so there's that association, people often think shit is disgusting. But, if that were all, then it wouldn't explain how we can be so casual about manure and dung... no, I think it's much simpler than that. I think the reason there's no "casual" word for human shit, the reason why we don't feel casual about it is because shitting is a vulnerable thing. It's something we have to do, we can't just "not do it" (at least, we can't hold it in for very long), and when we do take a shit, we are vulnerable, we're often stuck in a small room, with parts of our body naked and exposed, and we're stuck there, sitting or crouched over, for about a minute on average.

Now, I'm not just in a mood for scatological humour, I didn't write this just so I had an excuse to write "shit" several times. See, this matters because this year I'm talking about "sickness", and the biggest danger this taboo has is, specifically, sickness and disease.
Did you know that only half of the world's population has access to a toilet? Most people reading this have a toilet - some of you may even be on your phone, reading this while sitting on the toilet - but several billion people don't have that luxury. But, we all have to shit, someone once wrote a very informative book on the topic, so some of these people are forced into practicing "open defecation", which means they have to take a shit outside (unless they dig some kind of pit latrine). This isn't just a problem because it can smell, but it's dangerous since this puts people at much higher risk of contaminating groundwater and/or the soil. Not to mention the danger it puts people in from insects, animals and other people - women are especially at risk of being attacked or molested when someone follows them as they try to find a secluded spot to take a quiet shit.
And that's not even getting into the fact that people want privacy and dignity when they're shitting - but I'm here to talk about the health issues. There's a reason why Western countries don't have huge issues with dysentery, ebola, hepatitis, intestinal worm infections, typhoid fever and schistosomiasis, and it's not because we're smarter, and it's certainly not because of iPhones and cars - it's because we have flushable toilets which send our shit away to be processed and safely disposed of.

But the problems of the poo taboo aren't all in the third world - which cancers do you think are the most deadly? Which cancers do you think kill the most people, and which cancers have the worst survivability rate?
If you said breast cancer, or brain cancer, I don't blame you, those cancers are well-known and they get a lot of headlines, there are a lot of charities and non-profit organizations for those. But, according to the World Health Organization, the cancers that have killed the most people are lung cancer, followed by colorectal cancer & then stomach cancer. Now, we don't hear about those as much - for lung cancer, it's because we blame the victim "it's their fault for smoking" (even though smoking isn't the only cause of lung cancer) - but, I'm talking about shit, so setting lung cancer aside, if colorectal cancer is the second-deadliest cancer, why do so few people know that?
On August 28th of this year (just two months ago), Chadwick Boseman died after years suffering from his own colorectal cancer, and in the days following, several of his co-workers and colleagues revealed that they had no idea - he'd kept it all a secret, despite the pain and chemotherapy. This was partly because he believed he'd get better (his condition worsened quickly and drastically in the week prior to his death), but several people have said that it was to maintain his "pride and dignity". Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but I can't help but wonder if he'd have been so reticent to tell people about his diagnosis if he'd had bone cancer.

And then there is colonic irrigation. There are people who believe that "toxins" build up in your lower bowels and needs to be "cleansed". Not only is toxin a buzzword used by quacks in a lot of alternative medicines, but your bowels have a garden of bacteria and microflora that help to digest and clean your intestines, and the skin inside of your bowels is often quite sensitive (since it can continue to digest and collect nutrients, meaning it can be very thin and porous). So, when people flush it with water, or saline or coffee or whatever other liquids they want to squirt up your arsehole, you can cause damage to your bowels. People think your colon is dirty and unhealthy, but in reality colon cleansing is unhealthy, and can cause electrolyte imbalance, infection, heart-attack and in extreme cases, people have been left with damage to the bowel such that they have an enema dependency - which means they lose the ability to shit without medical assistance... You don't need to clean the shit out of your colon - it does that naturally, that's its whole job, and if you mess with it you can cause serious damage to yourself.
There is only one disease I've heard that causes "toxins" in the bowels, auto-brewery syndrome where carbs in your digestive tract are broken down by bacteria, fungus or yeast and ferment into alcohol. But the treatment isn't sticking a hose up your arse (because, like I've explained, that's very dangerous); instead, ABS is treated with palliative care for alcohol intoxication where necessary, and treatment with antibiotics/antifungals and diet therapy to reduce carbohydrates in the gut.

People act stupid when it comes to shit and shitting, especially where health is concerned since that just magnifies the whole vulnerability aspect. The worst part about all this is that I'm not really sure how to fix it. Shit is still gross, and people still feel uncomfortable about it to the point of being unable to talk about it - but some other, smarter people have some solutions...
For sanitation and toiletry issues, the United Nations created World Toilet Day - it's November 19, mark it on your calendar! - a day for action and education regarding issues of open defecation and lack of sustainable sanitation around the world.
For Colorectal Cancer, March is National Colon Cancer Awareness Month, and I think we should all stay aware. Chadwick Boseman was only one of many great people who were diagnosed with and/or died from this particular cancer:
Audrey Hepburn, the world famous actress; Charles M. Schulz, the creator and artist of Peanuts; Eartha Kitt, the singer, actress and activist; the Queen Mother, royalty and spouse of King George VI; Neville Chamberlain, prime minister of the U.K.; Ronald Reagan, the 40th U.S. president & countless other friends, family and loved ones, who had no celebrity, but were nonetheless cherished and mourned have suffered from or died from this disease.
And as for ignorance and quackery that takes advantage of our own shame and vulnerability to peddle useless or dangerous medicines and devices to cure your arse or be shoved up your rectum... let's treat such pseudoscience like the shit it is, and dispose of it - it does nothing but harm.

I'm the Absurd Word nerd, and until next time, I hope we can all be less ashamed or vulnerable of the shit we do every day. It's natural, it's human, it's healthy and although it can smell, if you treat it like an unmentionable taboo, that's when it really hits the fan... now if you excuse me, I'm gonna go have a shit.

Relive and Regret

Nostalgia and Regret seem to go hand in hand, don’t they? Nostalgia is looking back on the past with a sense of longing, whereas Regret is looking back on the past with a sense of loss. They are opposites in a sense, but also they are the same action, just with different emotions as a result. So, I can’t think of a better way to explore childhood trauma, fearful nostalgia and painful memories than to look at regret.

I don’t really believe in regret myself. Obviously, I believe the concept exists, but I don’t believe it’s a good use of one’s time. It’s an old quote, but it’s often said: “it’s no good pondering what might have been, because there’s usually a good reason it didn’t happen” - and that’s true, we tend to make the best decisions we can, based on the circumstances - and even if our decisions weren’t the best, they were the best we could do at the time. Sure, looking back with hindsight you can see how something could be done better, but that’s not worth dwelling upon. In fact, even more importantly, there’s another much more commonly known quote: “you learn from your mistakes”. This is very true, to the point that if I listed every mistake I’d ever made which I’d learnt from and grown wiser - we’d be here until Halloween 2020. Of course, the only way to learn from your mistakes is to reminisce upon them, and realize why things went so wrong - but reminiscence isn’t the same as regret. Regret is more like when you think about something, but in a negative sort of way... look, rather than try to explain it, why don’t I let Dictionary do my thinking for me. The Word of the Day is: ‘REGRET’

Regret /rə’gret/ v.t. 1. To feel sorry about (anything disappointing, unpleasant, etc.) 2. To think of with a sense of loss: They regret their vanished youth. ♦n. 3. A sense of loss, disappointment, dissatisfaction, etc. 4. A feeling of being sorry for some fault, act, etc., of one’s own. 5. (pl.) Feelings of sorrow over what is lost, gone, done, etc.

Do you know what I find the most fascinating about regret? It’s the prefix “re-“. Just as we rethink, redo & re-evaluate, regret is doing something again.
It comes from the Old Frankish prefix re- which basically means “again”, and the suffix -grētan which meant “to weep, mourn” or "lament”. So, to regret something is to mourn it again.

It’s a fascinating concept when you think about it, because it makes sense of the word in practice - we regret things that happened a long time ago. Obviously, we were upset about what happened at the time, and now we are allowing ourselves to get re-upset, to upset ourselves again, to relive that feeling. But, more importantly, one of the purposes of mourning is to come to terms with that grief, so you can eventually come to accept what has come to pass. So, if you are suffering from regret, then that is a sign that you still haven’t come to terms with what has happened - you still need to mourn so that you can finally accept what happened, or what you did, or what was lost...

At the beginning of this post, I said that I don’t believe in regret, and that’s very true. Like I said, I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, but I don’t tend to dwell on them.
In a sense, this is probably a self-defence mechanism for my anxiety. If ever I do find myself dwelling on events from the past, or worrying about their impact on the future, I recognize it for what it is - a ticket aboard a train of thought whose destiny is to be derailed. So, don’t allow me to act all high and mighty here, I do have regrets and I do suffer from them, but I have found that if I don’t quell that regret and if I don’t apply my mind to come to terms with and make sense of those things which happened in my past which presently unsettle or disturb my thoughts, I put myself at risk of greater worry, anxiety and panic.
So, I am forced by circumstance to have greater methods of dispelling regret than most...

Often, I find myself looking at the person I am now. When I was younger, I was occasionally a bully to people I would call friends and that is wrong; but, to me, those actions are a reminder of the value of not just understanding, but empathy - those past experiences taught me to be a better friend. When I was in high school, I often felt superior to others because of my intelligence and sometimes acted like an arsehole to people; today, I’ve learned that feelings of superiority are pitiable, and that attitude reminds me why kindness and equality are most important - those experiences taught me to be a better member of a team. Less than a decade ago, I realized just how much of the world is biased, broken, cruel, harmful, hateful, ignorant & selfish, and so I became quite cynical in response; however, I’ve come to learn that the ability to identify a problem is only the first step, and if you want your dislike of these ills of the world to have any value, you should work to try to solve at least some of them - those experiences taught me to be a better person.

And some of the things I regret weren’t merely learning experiences, but some of them lead to great things. I once regretted having to live with my grandmother, since it was a lot of responsibility, and I was terrified that I would have to see her die; however, now that she’s dead I cherish every single waking moment I could spend with my living grandmother, and that night when I knew she was going to die, I appreciate that I could have the time to grieve, and move on. I once regretted having such low employ-ability, and being trapped at home all the time, but that lead me to starting this blog; through this I met my ex-girlfriend and although we broke up I could never regret the three years we were together since I truly enjoyed those experiences, and my experience of writing for this blog has improved my writing in both enormous, and immeasurably small ways.

And right now, today... the reason I’m thinking about regret today is, I regretted not writing this blog sooner. See, I had decided that I would do a theme of “childhood trauma”, and that I would explore my own traumas, and conceptual trauma, and Goosebumps... and I was going to write it ahead of time. However, that didn’t happen, due to other obligations, and a fair amount of procrastination on my part.
Little did I know that on the very week that I planned to write this Halloween Countdown, my boss would go on holiday - meaning I would be called in for shifts at work every week; on top of that, I also didn’t know that I myself would get sick - I’ve been coughing up phlegm every morning, just to breathe, and my voice sounds ragged and hoarse & lastly, although I knew that we would be moving house, I didn’t know that our internet provider would cut our internet early. A whole lot of everything that could possibly go wrong has fallen on top of me during this year’s blog post.
However, as much as I once regretted that, I now appreciate that I have been able to think on my feet and find ways to get the blog done - by borrowing public Wi-Fi, and using whatever methods I can think of to get the blog written as quickly as possible.
(Editor's Note: I'm currently uploading this at a McDonald's Wi-Fi, and I hate McDonald's, so I hope you appreciate the sacrifices I make for this blog...)

And, of course, I no longer regret it because it helped to inspire today’s blog post... You see, literally everything is going wrong for me at the moment - I have other obligations, I’m as sick as a dog drowning in pea soup & my internet has been taken away. Yet, I am overcoming each obstacle, one at a time, and I am actually kind of enjoying the experience. As a writer, I always appreciate new experiences, because it helps to add detail to my own stories, and can inspire plots in the future. But more than that, it’s encouraging that I can work so well under pressure - it makes me realize just how much I can do in a short time, when I put my mind to it.

I’m the Absurd Word Nerd, and I don’t imagine it is as easy for everyone else to overcome regret, perhaps your regrets are more far-reaching and ever-present... but, I hope that this little reminiscence has helped you to alleviate some of the things that you regret. If not, well, feel free to share your regrets in the comments below - if you think it will help.
Until Next Time, I’m going to move on and see if my throat is clear enough for me to narrate Part 2 of my Childhood Trauma video...

The Hunter's Guide to Monsters - Chapter Twelve

As fragile creatures that can only survive on a warm patch of land with air to breath, the sea still remains shrouded in mysteries. But tonight, we fish up some of the more unusual beasts that dwell beneath the waves... one of the fish-people that we call a 'MERMAID':

Mermaid /'mermayd/ n. 1. An imaginary female sea creature with the head and body of a woman and the tail of a fish.


12. Merfolk
  by Hunter Jeremiah

Merfolk both are, and are not, like the myths that surround them. A mermaid is, in fact, a water-dwelling creature of astounding beauty, with the tail of a fish and the upper body like a young girl, and they have been known to use their beauty to lure young men into the water. However, a mermaid is only a female merfellow and merfolk are very much a sexually dimorphic animal. A male merfellow, also known as a merman or a mermaster, does have a human-shaped torso, but he is often much larger than a female, is covered in protective scales, has sharp claws for protection, has pointed teeth and has a prominent dorsal fin.
These two appear so different that for a long time it was believed they were two separate kinds of creature, but it has been confirmed by cryptozoological and microbiological study that they are the same species.
Like most sea-dwelling predators, the risk we face from merfolk is relatively small so long as you remain on land. However if you venture near inhabited waters, either ashore or in a boat, then you risk seeing why these creatures are considered mythical. If you venture near the water's brink and see a virgin in the drink, don't dare to let your focus sink - or you may find yourself falling much deeper than in love with your sea-temptress.

Merfolk are found all over the world, especially in coastal areas, as they live in saltwater such as the seas, deep saltwater lakes and rivers & of course the ocean. They are known as jengu in Africa; ben-varrey, merrow or selkies in various parts of the British Isles; näck, neck, nikker, nixie or nøkken in northern parts of Europe gorgóna, ichthyocentaur, naiad or nereids in Greece; jiaoren, kuliltu or ningyo in the Orient; maneli in Persia; rusalki in Russia & sjövættir in Scandinavia.
There is a theory amongst cryptozoologists that mermaids share a common ancestor with the hydra, perhaps even with angels and centaurs. It's very possible, considering how much they share in common. However, how it happened is of no consequences, what matters is why it happened - these creatures look the way they do for the purpose of deception, hunting and protection, and they use their hands, beautiful features and human-like voice to serve those goals.
In fact, the mermaid's siren song is the most unusual facet of merfolk. To begin with, although mermaids do appear to have a form of speech, their siren song is a wordless, voiced song - and in fact it appears as though only mermaids are capable of a siren song, as mermen have never been recorded using it. Also, despite mermaids not possessing and psychic abilities or magic, their singing has been known to mesmerize those who hear it, and produce feelings of euphoria and recklessness in human, birds and most mammals. Magicians have confirmed that the siren song is not any form of sorcery, and acousticians are currently studying the effect; but, at time of writing, no explanation for the siren song's effects have been found.
It is for this reason that mermaids are popular on the black market, and one of the reasons why they may be found in areas where they would not naturally be found - of the dozen mermaids I've had to Hunt in my time, nine of them were bought in the black market by fools who didn't know what they were doing.

Merfolk are not deep-sea fish, but rather live just above it in the mesopelagic zone below 200-metre depths and above 1000-metre depths. This is also known as the twilight zone, as there is still some sunlight, but it is barely 1% of the luminosity at surface level, as merfolk cannot survive in the warmer surface waters. Merfolk tend to build themselves habitats on the sea floor - using their hands to either dig into the seabed, or build tools and structures out of materials they find, and the structures they build can have an unusual and beautiful architecture - such as the abandoned Castelo dos Corais discovered in the Atlantic.
Merfolk live in schools of between twenty and two-hundred individuals, usually one large family with a single breeding pair known as the king and queen. However, they are a social species, and when two colonies are nearby, they tend to interact, trade and hunt together in one interacting supercolony. Merfolk are omnivorous, often farming their own seaflora, and eating meat in the form of hunted fish, birds they can catch or animals they can lure from the shore to capture or kill using nets or spears.

A merfolk hunting party usually consists of less than a dozen mermaids with just one or two mermen. These groups either lash out quickly with nets and spears, or will lure in prey by having one or more of the mermaids act as bait, by sitting prone or singing, with her fellow hunters waiting just before the surface of the water.  Merfolks will only eat humans if they are foolish enough to be lured in by a hunting party on the shore, or if a school is desperate enough to try to snatch people out of boats or ships during a food shortage.

This is all useful information for a Hunter as any lake less than 200 metres deep, containing freshwater or without a viable food supply is unable to sustain merfolk life, and they are usually benign. But, most importantly, mermaids use tools and weapons, which can make them a more threatening creature to Hunt.

Protection
If you believe that there are mermaids living in a body of water near you, or you live near a shore where mermaids have been seen, here are some methods to keep safe:

• Darkest before Dawn - Merfolk tend to surface and hunt at night, so if you have reason to believe there are merfolk in a body of water near you, avoid the place at night.
• Do Your Homework - People who see beautiful women with scales or fish monsters tend not to keep it to themselves. So, check o your local history before you go fishing.
• Don't Stare, Get Out of There - Mermaids use their beauty to lure victims close to the water. So, if you see a mermaid, don't allow their glamour or siren song to mesmerize you.
• No Swimming - This goes without saying. Stay out of the monster's lair...
• Not a Mere Maid - Whatever you do, don't underestimate merfolk. Whilst they look young, small and pretty, they are both stronger and more intelligent than they appear.
• Play the Waiting Game - Merfolk can only hold their breath above water for thirty minutes. So, if you see a merfellow above water, it's a matter of time before it suffocates.
• Warning Siren - The effect of a mermaid's siren song is lessened by distance. So, if you can hear their song from a distance, you should ensure that you don't close that distance.

Hunting

Because merfolk live and breath in water, they cannot survive for much longer than thirty minutes out of the water. For this reason, you will never have to 'Find' your merfellow - they will be in the water, every time. Whilst you may have to head out in a boat or a ship at some point, they are not difficult to find. Whilst mermaids are not easy to locate in the ocean, that is their domain, so unless there are very severe circumstances, if a merfellow kills a land-dwelling creature that is in the ocean, it is considered a wild animal attack, and not a Hunter's responsibility. They're just creatures trying to live their lives, and so should be left alone.
In fact, there is very little hunting or tracking to be done, it's genuinely much like shooting fish in a barrel. Not that there's much shooting involved either, as most merfolk require catch and release. Most troublesome merfolk have either gotten lost or been sold on the black market, and aren't responsible for simply following their nature outside of their natural environment.
There are only two cases wherein you will need to Hunt down and kill a merfellow: Either when a merman is in heat and seeking out a mate from the human population; or when hunting parties are repeatedly attacking and killing people near the shore.

Capture
In cases wherein your merfellow simply needs to be relocated, your job will be to capture it and take it where it belongs. So, if you're going fishing for mermaids, You will Need:
"Hook" - This is your bait. In the past, Hunters may have used actual hooks to latch onto their prey, and whilst that is an effective desperate measure, these days we tend to be more civilized. Some hunters purchase fresh, whole fish (don't go getting fish fillets, as it makes merfolk skittish - they'd be wary of whatever cut it up). Some Hunters use their hunting animal to help them bait mermaids using hearing protection to save them from the siren song (you can purchase hearing protection for dogs, cats and other pets), but that is a risky option unless you can control your animal without voice commands. Personally, I like to go the cheap and dangerous option - I wear earplugs and I stand near the shore with my weapon sheathed just in case, and a net in hand. No matter what method you use, you should of course get some hearing protection.
"Line" - Almost every Hunter who captures mermaids uses a net, or ropes. I prefer a chain net, as mermaids can be easily injured by rope, and mermen can easily escape from a lasso. I have heard of Hunters who use tranquilizer darts, and some who even place the fish-meat bait in the middle of a tarp, and use either pulleys or co-ordinated manpower to wrap up their merfellow in a bundle.
"Sink" - Binding up your merfellow in a net is all well and good, but after being out of the water for half an hour, your live mermaid will become a dead mermaid. You may have to wait ten minutes or so, to have the mermaid weakened a little if it is struggling. But, otherwise, you will need a portable container of water to transport them. Specialty mermaid hunters will often have a specialized, reinforced aquarium, water truck or even a small, portable glass coffin. But, when I have been called to deal with merfolk, I use a relatively small rainwater tank that I've modified so that it's enclosed, and has a watertight lid. I can easily attach it to my trailer, and use a shallow boat ramp to fill the tank with sea water, being sure not to capture any dangerous sea life in the process (Note: remember to never use freshwater, as it will hurt your merfellow). I park this near the site where I will perform my capture, then once successful, I simply drag my net to the Sink, drop the creature inside, and seal the lid. Merfolk can usually breathe for up to three days with 100 gallons of fresh seawater (approx. 380 litres).

Some other equipment you might want to consider carrying would be armour, preferably lightweight in your limbs in case you go for a dip; your weapon of choice, something lethal in case things take a turn for the worse; a lifejacket or tether, in case something tries to drag you underwater; a torch, both to see at night, or to dazzle your merfellow; spare bait or food, if your journey to release the merfellow takes too long (merfolk eat half a kilo of meat, or a kilo of green plant matter, each day). & spare hearing protection, in case your own becomes wet, damaged or lost in the scuffle.

Kill
Merfolk are flesh-and-blood creatures, killing them is relatively simple, but it is always preferable to choose a more painless option.
The most humane way to kill a merfellow is to Decerebrate it, either with a very sharp harpoon or blade, or with a gun directed right into the brain, so as to quickly kill the creature. I have also heard of Hunters who essentially hit the creatures on the head so hard that they cause a traumatic brain injury, as a form of percussive stunning, however, this is difficult to do properly and there is a high risk of suffering if you fail, so I do not recommend it at all. The second-best option is to Decapitate them. This is simple if you've captured your creature, but would be very difficult, if the creature is struggling and flailing. For this reason, some hunters choose to capture, tranquilize, then behead dangerous merfolk. If you're low on options, you may simply choose to snap their neck, as that also can get the job done.
In desperate cases, these creatures might be left to Exsanguinate, and die from blood loss, or to Suffocate, however, I would warn heavily against either of these techniques. These are slow, needlessly cruel deaths and even if a Hunter could live with himself for committing an act like that, I would still worry for his soul.
Once killed, your mermaid body should be disposed of accordingly should either be returned to their pack or taken to your nearest Hunting authority to be dealt with accordingly.

Final Notes
The siren song of the mermaid is designed to fascinate and mesmerize. But, when some men see this natural wonder, they seek to covet it for themselves, to capture its beauty and bottle it up for themselves. This can lead to their death in the wild, and for those foolish enough to poach these creatures and possess them for themselves, they either end up causing harm to the creature, or to themselves.
You cannot domesticate natural beauty and glamour, you can only imprison it - and so the best thing anyone could ever do with a mermaid is to let it free, and walk away.

The Fear We All Forget...

Good evening, dearest reader. Once again, I find myself being dragged back to the annual ritual of the Halloween Countdown.
  A count of the days, counting down from thirteen,
  From today, thirteen nights till we see Halloween.
Whilst I love to dwell in the delights of the horrific and the horrible in this haunting hour of the horrid... I'm a touch lugubrious, this year. For you see, that tonight is my birthday - the inciting incident of this performance:

Happy Birthday to you,But beware what you do,Or this might be the last timeThat we sing this to you...

This year, I'm turning Twenty-Eight. I was so ecstatic, last year, to be turning Twenty-Seven, as it is one of my favourite numbers, but now I fear I am not entering some enigmatic era of my erstwhile entertaining existence, but rather I am simply one more year older. It's a touch depressing... I was once so young, and now, I'm dripping away like the interminable grains of sand in my mortal hourglass. It's making me yearn for a time when I was a younger morsel.

Indeed, I find myself in a reflective mood, looking back on those times of my childhood that I once enjoyed or endured with naive hope, and ignorant bliss.
I guess you could say that I'm suffering from a sense of longing for the past - which is apt, considering that the word of the day is: 'NOSTALGIA'

Nostalgia /nos'taljiə/ n. 1. A wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life, to one's home or homeland, or to one's family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time: A nostalgia for his college days. 2. Something that elicits or displays nostalgia.

You see, nostalgia was once an affliction for the mentally unwell - it is a longing and fascination for home or the times of our youth that is so powerful that it causes disorder and discomfort in our life. A sense of unease for the way things are, due to a desire for the way things once were.

Nostalgia has always been a source of suffering. Yes, suffering... sickness and perversion...

Well, perhaps I can find some joy in this wistful sentimentalism after all. For you see, not only have I been reminiscing on the pleasures and simplicity of childhood and innocence, but also on the hidden darknesses and secret pains.

People often view the past through rose-coloured glasses, letting the less charitable memories shrivel up and wilt away like old flower petals, and seeing only the colour on the surface. But, much like those wilted petals and leaves and branches, those memories don't go away, they simply sit underneath, hiding worms and creepy crawlers in the loamy darkness.
So, let's go digging up some old memories…

For this year's display, we'll traipse through some moribund memories of forgotten youth, and the media which helped to populated my nightmares with monsters. As well, I'll explore childish amusements and games which have lead to tragedy, horror and death. I'll also be setting my sights on some of the mythical creatures that prey on children. And of course, as always, I'll be sharing some select stories with you, of a sentimental sort. I hope you find this year's Countdown to be… unforgettable.

Until Next Time, I'm the Absurd Word Nerd, longing for those days that once were, but never will again.

Momentous

I'm probably overthinking this - because I tend to overthink everything. That's kinda what I do... so, I figure, I might as well just bite the bullet and write this damn thing. After all, today is the 27th of May, and I have an irrational preference for the number twenty-seven.
Speaking of numbers, I'm not really sure what's so special about the number 300. I mean, sure, it's the highest score you can get, playing a perfect game of bowling (twelve strikes). It's also the name of a Zach Snyder movie about Spartans (based on a Frank Miller comic about Spartans). Of course, that movie was inspired by the Spartan legend of the 300 Spartans who fought in the Battle of Thermopylae. But they're not alone in legendary militia - in religious narratives, the "300 soldiers" appears to be a common motif. 300 Israeli soldiers fight the Midianites; in Islamic Tradition there remained 300 Israeli survivors of the conflict with Goliath & there were 300 followers of Muhammad that survived the Battle of Badr.

But, at the end of the day, this remains yet another milestone - an integer chosen arbitrarily due to being the square of 10 (the basis of our decimal numbering system). I don't think that the number, or even this post, is in and of itself special. What makes it special, and meaningful to me, is that it shows the distances that I have come and (if you are a loyal reader) which you have come along with me.
But what about this moment is special? What should I talk about right now. It feels significant, but I'm not certain as to why or how.
Well... something that I have been considering lately is the significance that can be found in all moments, regardless of the broad sweeping inevitability of time, or the general outlook of the era at large. Lately, I have felt like I keep losing track of "now", and the present moment occasionally seems to slip through my fingers.

For you see, I sometimes suffer from chronic anxiety - I always have it, but usually I manage it. It is a mental illness, whereby your brain overreacts to stress and fear, and/or results in having that response triggered by mildly or completely harmless stimuli (in many cases, the stimulus itself doesn't exist). I have talked about this many times before, so I hope this information isn't new to you. But what may be novel to hear is that this isn't simply "a sense of dread".
Anxiety may manifest in different ways for different people, but one of the ways - and indeed the way this affects me - is that I can often find myself disconnected from the current moment.
Sometimes, I worry about the things that I've done, or the things that have happened to me which I may have avoided if I'd acted differently in the past; or even I worry that things which have happened which I don't fully understand may happen again.
Or, I may stress about the future, and not only the consequences it may hold for me, but also the opportunities which I am denying myself based on the actions I am not taking & the ways that the future may be both predictable and unpredictable in any given moment.

This is not the only symptom of my anxiety (far from it), but when I am stressed, I am often thinking about something that has happened to me, or something that I fear may happen to me - and it can mean that I am failing to pay close attention to those things that are currently happening to me.
And so, the word of the Day is: 'MOMENT'

Moment /mōmənt/ n. 1. An indefinitely short period of time; An instant. 2. The present, or any other particular time 3. A definite period or stage, as in a course of events; juncture: At this moment in history. 4. Importance or consequence: A decision of great moment. 5. Statistics The mean or average of a given power of the values of a set of variates. 6. Philosophy An aspect of a thing. 7. Physics A measure of the tendency to cause rotation around a point or axis, equal to the product of the force and its perpendicular distance from the point of the axis.

I struggle, at times, to fully embrace the moment, because I am so often concerning myself with the past and the future. And although I know these thoughts are irrational, that doesn't stop my mind from thinking them. See, in a sense, there is a mild sensation of stress and fear that is constantly bubbling just under the surface of my mind. It's usually very mild, and if I am in the right mindset (and  not forgotten to take my medication) the heat barely bothers me. Like resting by a fireplace, the heat is felt, but not feared.
However, since it is already so close to boiling point, a single disturbance can start it spilling over into my mind, and although it can't actually hurt, it can feel as though my mind is on fire. Now, if I recognize that the temperature is rising - that I am becoming stressed - then I can try to calm it with a proverbial cool breeze or soft, cold rain, to slowly calm the waters. On good days, the waters can even be practically still. But, because it is so energetic and frenetic most of the time, it is as though it is always on the verge of spilling over.

Please, keep in mind, this is all just a metaphor to illustrate my point, anxiety isn't literally "hot" (if anything, it can manifest as a cold chill down the spine). But, this is to demonstrate how my mind works in regards to my anxiety, because for the average person without anxiety, the waters beneath their mind are cool and calm as a serene lake, and they only boil over when something dangerous, cruel or tragic happens.
In a very poetic, illogical, metaphorical sense, you could say my mind is more tropical than most...

That's the reason this word resonates so much with me, to the point that I want to use it Today for my 300th Blog Post. It is because as I have managed more and more to take better care of myself and to enjoy the present moment moreso than fearing the past or future, I've become more aware of my life.
And perhaps more importantly, the reason I feel the need to tell all of you about it is because I feel like, although I am so often removed from the current moment on account of my anxiety, I also feel as though there are probably many people who despite lacking this particular mental illness, nonetheless don't seem to truly take part in the present time of their lives.

I mean, think about it - what are you doing right now? You're reading "this". And by this, I don't mean my blog post, but I meant that word. It's done now, you've read it and now you're reading this sentence. Of course, that's over now, and now you're reading this one. In a matter of seconds, you've read five sentences, have you taken a moment to think about you, in this moment, who you are and what you're doing?
Don't get me wrong, I'm wonderfully flattered that you've taken this moment out of your day, whatever time of day that may be, to read my words. And I also feel as though this is a good use of this moment in time - assuming of course that you're not procrastinating or ignoring some other pressing matter... in which case, you should probably do that first. But, have you taken the time to think about what's happening?

Now, don't worry, some people think of crap like this as profound. It's isn't - fuck that. I'm not here to tell you about how every moment is precious or that life isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away... blah blah blah, no. I'm not here to be a motivational poster. I don't want to draw your attention to the current moment due to its supposed "profundity", but due to it's simplicity and immediacy.

Yes, immediacy - perhaps that's the best way to think about it. It comes from the greek word "media", the plural for medium. When something is medium it's in the middle - often between two extremes: small, medium, large; soft, medium, hard; short, medium, tall - so, im-mediacy is about being IN the middle, between the past and the future. You're here in the middle of then and soon, in the present moment of NOW.

Again, I must reiterate, I am not saying that you need to "live life to the fullest", not only is that really lame and cringeworthy to me, but this idea that you need to live your life so that "no moment is wasted" is the kind of thing that can make you feel incredibly anxious in the first place.
Worrying about whether I was wasting my life was part of what made me curl up into a little ball and do nothing for a week - ironically, wasting my life even more.

See, one of the ways that my therapist taught me to deal with anxiety is called a grounding exercise - if you notice that you're starting to stress about something, what you are meant to do is set your worry aside by consciously identifying several things in your immediate environment which you are currently experiencing. There are several methods of doing so, but the one I use is based on a countdown of your senses. So, you have to simply identify:
5 things you can FEEL; 4 things you can SEE; 3 things you can HEAR; 2 things you can SMELL & 1 thing you can TASTE.
So let me run you through an example now. Right now,
Five things I can feel:
 • The pressure of the chair beneath my backside.
 • The keys of the keyboard beneath my fingers.
 • The tightness of my shoes on my feet.
 • The dulled edge of the desk on my forearm.
 • The warmth of the shirt on my back.
Four things I can see:
 • The colourful images of the YouTube video player on my screen
 • The coffee cup beside my monitor.
 • The messy three-tier tray of papers beside me.
 • A single five-cent piece that fell from my wallet onto the desk.
Three things I can hear:
 • The dull whirring of my computer's cooling fan.
 • The dull, plasticky clacking of my keyboard as I type this sentence.
 • The muffled sound of a newsreader from the television in the livingroom.
Two things I can smell:
 • The mild smell of sweat from my shirt (I went for a walk today).
 • A very light smell of dust from my desk.
One thing I can taste:
 • At the moment, simply my tongue, salivating since I am a little thirsty.

That's me at the present moment. Or, at least, it was a moment ago when I typed that, I'm going to go get that glass of water now - but the point is, once you identify these things, you recognize that these are all a part of the world around you which you're a part of - or, you could use another method to place yourself in the current moment. I use this because it's easy to remember, but there are several grounding and anchoring exercises. No matter which you use, the purpose of these exercises is to bring yourself out of this drifting, unsecured worry about what was, what may be or what could be, and ground yourself in the present, solid reality. In a sense, it's like snapping you awake out of a daydream.

Now, I'm not asking you to examine your own life on a second-by-second basis. This exercise is about ripping you out of your worry and bringing you back to the present moment, you don't need a grounding exercise unless you're worrying or lost in your thoughts. Rather, I am just hoping to draw your attention to the fact that your life is happening right now, and you should probably try to experience it whilst it's happening. Even the little moments...
See, I decided to write about this because of three moments. They were rather minor, but I feel they're worth mentioning:

1. Firstly, about three weeks ago, I was going for a walk. I had been stressing and worrying, trying to figure out what I should do for this blog. I was wondering if I should do something simple, so I could draw it, or maybe I could do another vlogpost. But, I had no idea, so instead, I put it out of my mind, and instead considered stories that I was writing. When I walk and work on stories, it either consists of me talking to myself (either to brainstorm aloud, or speaking in character to develop dialogue), or I consider concepts again in the hopes that a literal new perspective could inspire something.
   As I walked I remember noticing that there was a large patch of dirt where the grass hadn't grown, through a combination of foot traffic and the occasional car parking by the fence. I noticed that some of the rocks in the dirt were green, or even clear and shiny. It was obvious that they were the result of broken bottles, but they weren't sharp, they'd been smoothed down to pebbles. It occured to me then, that even something as simple as the ground, can seem beautiful. Not only was there an interesting palette of colour, but I knew (although, I only recognized this subconsciously) that some had been collected, melted, shaped and coloured, before being filled with liquid, drunk and discarded, only to be moulded into a round pebble, whereas others may simply have washed down the road in the rain, or been kicked up by car tires or shoes. And all because I had taken a moment to pay attention... to the ground. That's when I first considered "moment" as a word.
2. Secondly, although this happened nineteen years ago now, this may be the moment that resonates with most of you, rather than a moment staring at the ground - since it has the greatest impact. See, in the year 2000, the new millenium and a year full of promise and anticipation for many, Australia hosted the Olympics Games in Sydney. In a sense, it ruined the Olympics for me, not because it was bad, but because it was too good. Not only was I a nine-year-old kid, but I was seeing my whole country get excited - there were promotional tie-ins; the torch relay was all over the news and I even remember some school activities which made reference to the sporting events.
   But, that's not the one moment. The actual moment was during the Opening Ceremony. I watched it on television, at about 7pm, and I was mesmerized. The music, the dancing, the amazing puppetry & the jaw-dropping choreography. It is an amazing performance, and you should look it up if you've never seen it. But, what struck me was that, because of the camerawork, whilst it often showed the performance as a whole, it would occasionally cut to a close-up on just one moving sculpture, or one performer; one puppeteer, one horserider or one firebreather. In particular, there was a moment during the "Nature" segment of the ceremony, when several thousand people moved in a way that represented a bushfire followed by blossoming flowers - and in that moment I realized that every single individual involved had dedicated a fraction of their life (perhaps months of practice and rehearsal) to come together in one moment, to perform once live for two hours, then return home. According to Wikipedia, the ceremony had a cast of 12,687 people. I didn't know that at the time, but I saw in that moment how several thousand people can work together, to create something great in a single moment.
3. Thirdly, I went to Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary with my family. Some of our Japanese extended family were visiting Australia, so we decided to take them to see some Aussie animals. I took a lot of photos, because I could get some amazing photos of the animals - I even managed to cuddle a snake called Isis (although, the handler insisted that they mostly called her Izzy). They also had a miniature railway, which could take you from one side of the park to the other, and because I absolutely adore trains, I insisted that we ride it. But, on the train, as we travelled I took three photos, then quickly realized that the train moved too quickly for my digital camera, making every photo an ugly blur. So, I put my phone in my pocket, and just enjoyed the ride. And, even though I didn't really "do" anything, it was a great experience - I just watched as we travelled through a park, saw a peacock, went in the tunnel, past the lake, then came to a stop by the reptile show and the live-flight display.
   Now, I probably would have enjoyed it just as much if I had taken photos - I took photos all day, and I loved it - but with empty hands, I realized that I was having an amazing time. Like I said, I love trains, we were chugging along at a good pace and it was also a beautiful day and we were headed to see a birdflight show. It felt great to be alive that day.

Of course, these aren't the only moments which matter - my point is meant to be that most of them matter - but I believe that these moments are emblematic of what I talk about when I say that I find meaning in being aware of your present moment. The reason why I shared them with you is because those are moments in my life which I will remember because of how they made me feel grounded in the present moment, and realize where and when I was. I am glad I experienced all of them, even though some were more grandiose than others - because yes, it's important to be fully aware during those momentous occasions, but that doesn't mean we should ignore the occasional moment.

Now, maybe I'm just overthinking it again. Perhaps these simple moments feel more potent to me because, when I was stressed or feeling depressed, these minor moments were emotionally stained with negativity. I am finding more enjoyment in the present because it's not as depressing as it once was.
But, if this blog meant something to you, and you feel like your life is passing you by, or like you're simply a passenger on a world that's spinning faster than you can comprehend. Maybe you occasionally feel stressed, and find yourself lost in worry. For whatever the reason.  I want you to take a moment to ground yourself. Whether you need an exercise to realize the world around you, or if you simply need to reconsider how you look at things... perhaps you should take a moment to experience the present time of your life.

If not, well, thank you in the least for sharing this moment with me - since it is the 300th moment of 299 moments which I've shared on this blog. Even if it doesn't seem that meaningful, especially surrounded by some which are better or even worse, and it's a number without any grand significance, it's the fact that it's the moment happening now which makes it meaningful. Not special, not better, not profound... but it nonetheless matters, and hopefully it will be just another moment in the path ahead.

I'm the Absurd Word Nerd, and until next time, I'm gonna take a moment to myself to figure out what I'm going to do tomorrow.