Showing posts with label special edition. Show all posts
Showing posts with label special edition. Show all posts

Monday 24 October 2022

Dangerous Dumbasses, or A Discussion of The Dunning-Kruger Effect

fig. 7
How difficult could it be?

It's a simple phrase which may well be the basis of the Dunning-Kruger effect, a cognitive bias which has been "common sense" for a long time. It's been said “A little knowledge is a dangerous thing”, and even Charles Darwin is quoted saying “Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge”, and this is how the Dunning-Kruger effect is understood in general, but what exactly is it?
The Dunning-Kruger effect was officially quantified in 1999 when social psychologists David Dunning and Justin Kruger published their paper “Unskilled and Unaware of It: How Difficulties in Recognizing One’s Own Incompetence Lead to Inflated Self-Assessments”.

In this simple study, the two researchers gave their test subjects an exam which tested their logic, grammar & humour, and before evaluating any subject, asked them how well they thought they'd done. Dunning & Kruger then compared the subjects' percieved scores against their actual scores, and found a fascinating correlation... The lower the subject scored, the greater the disparity between their actual score, with the lowest scoring participants assuming they'd done three-to-four times better than they did; middle-scoring participants thinking they'd scored double or one-and-a-half times better, to the point that the highest scoring subjects actually underestimated their scores a little. I've included a stylized recreation of their findings as today's Illustration (see fig. 7, above), and I don't want to overstate this... the lower scoring quartile of subjects, on average, didn't believe they'd done the best - but they were still overestimating their abilities by a wide margin.

Now, this test wasn't great. I haven't been able to get my hands on the actual questions, but the fact that they were tested on "humour" seems questionable at best, I'm not really sure how you score someone on their sense of humour. However, this test was the first of several more tests on different subjects and sciences, and similar results have been found throughout several fields of study.

So, why does this happen? Well, there are several theories. Some of the most common theories relates to Illusory Superiority. This kind of cognitive bias is also known as the "above-average effect", "leniency error" and the "overconfidence effect", because it's not simply one thing (and in fact, in modern psychology the "Dunning-Kruger effect" is considered one of the factors of Illusory Superiority). But, it includes a bevy of psychological fallacies such as the "better-than-average" heuristic: in simple terms, the majority of people do not think they're "average", but the majority of any set is "average", by definition, meaning that, the majority of people therefore must overestimate themselves. Some theorize that this is because most people hold "above-average" to be ideal, for most social and personal traits - honesty, intelligence, kindness, popularity, strength - whilst these are positive traits, having them to an unusually high degree can be seen as negative, i.e. brutal honesty;  arrogant intelligence; self-sacrificing kindness; idolized popularity; dangerous strength - so, by seeing oneself as merely "above average", it's holding oneself in the highest possible esteem with most of these traits.
In a way, it could be seen of as a form of high self-esteem, as we're holding our own selves equivalent to what we see as the societal ideal. However, it could be seen as a form of low empathy, as we're considering the majority of others as sub-standard, which relates to the second form of Illusory Superiority I want to talk about, Egocentrism: basically, it's when you hold singular and greater significance over yourself, your abilities and your characteristics, compared with anyone else and often involves a kind of perception of advantage and/or privilege for oneself, compared to others.

Sadly, this is the common pop-culture understanding of the Dunning-Kruger effect: egocentrism, arrogance and self-importance. I admit that this is how I viewed it, and what inspired this post. After all, what's a better example of Failure and the Dunning-Kruger effect than Donald Trump? His thoughtless actions are still affecting the world to this day, and I thought his incompetence could be explained by this psychological phenomenon. It's well-established that Donald Trump would frequently overestimate his own capacity, intelligence, abilities, political knowledge and didn't even understand the responsibilities or powers of the presidency - the Mueller report found that on several occasions, Trump ordered his political staff to commit illegal acts, and the only reason he was not punished for this was because those members of staff chose not to follow through with his unlawful demands.
But, after doing this research, it's clear to me that Trump was not an example of the Dunning-Kruger effect... it's just textbook Narcissism.

See, the Dunning-Kruger effect may have nothing to do with self-perception at all, it could simply be because humans suck at counting, and estimating, in general. There have been several studies showing how common innumeracy, discalculia and poor mathematic ability is amongst the human population. There are even several theories that claim humans don't count linearly, but logarithmically. I won't go into detail on that because it would take two hours of research...

[A/N: I know that because I already DID that research, and lost it all because my computer crashed (TWICE!). I guess it took this year's theme of "Failure" literally...]
But the important thing is, humans suck at counting and estimating, and perhaps our overestimation of ourselves is just another example of how badly we screw up at counting.

It could even be related to Game Theory, specifically Information Asymmetry... in the absence of relevant information, we are often left with inadequate strategies of how to proceed, especially when we don't know just how much information we don't have, in a given "game".

But, at the end of the day, the important thing we all must learn from these examples of the Dunning-Kruger effect, is that when we fail... we may be unable to understand just how badly we've failed until we see the results. Whilst Donald Trump turned out to be a shitty example of the Dunning-Kruger effect (as he's kind of a shitty example of basically everything humanity has to offer), I do think a much better example is "Climate Change Denial". I was once a climate change denier - I even have a blog post all about it - but the difference between myself and most other climate change deniers is that I was still pro-environmentalist, and I saw the benefits of the climate-change position, even though I disagreed with their conclusion (at the time).
Even now that I better understand climate change and fully accept all of the realities of anthropogenic climate change, those who still don't not only don't seem to understand the realities but their lack of understanding is so deep, they fail to understand how they could possibly be so wrong, and how wrong they could possibly be.

This is true of basically all science-deniers: creationists; anti-queer bigots, anti-abortionists; conspiracy theorists...
They're all dangerously stupid, but not because they're significantly dumber than the average person. I've met a lot of dumb people who admit their own ignorance - and hell, some people on the autism spectrum have learning disabilities, but autistic people aren't more dangerous than the average person, despite their lower intelligence quotient. No, what makes you a dangerous dumb person is when you fail to understand that you are dumb.

So, yeah, all of this just to circle right back to the beginning, because there is truth in that quote:
     "A Little Knowledge is a Dangerous Thing".
We fail, all the time, but that's not always a bad thing. To err is human. I think I've used that quote about five times already in this Countdown but it's the reality, we fail yet we thrive regardless.
But Our Failure becomes Truly Dangerous when we Fail to Recognize It.

I'm the Absurd Word Nerd, and I'm going to see what's wrong with this computer, so it doesn't fail on me again... that would make this Countdown take much longer to write.
But, Until Next Time, I ask that you self-reflect, take a good look at yourself, your life and your actions, and ask yourself... have I already failed, and just not realized it yet?

Wednesday 20 October 2021

A Dream Come True

Believe it or not, I do try to make these posts somewhat scary... or, at the very least, creepy. I don't know if I always succeed, but today, I want to set any attempt at horror aside for a moment. See, today I have an announcement that's not scary, but it does fit the Halloween Countdown theme of "dreams" because I want to talk about a dream of mine which has come true - one of my short stories is getting published, in an anthology!

I have had some drabbles published by Alban Lake, I posted stories online and I have some non-fiction work around the place. But, earlier this year I had one of my short stories accepted by a little publisher, Cursed Dragon Ship Publishing; and in association with Legion of Dorks, they're publishing:

Misspelled
Magic Gone Awry

Edited kindly and patiently by Kelly Ann Colby, it's a collection of mixed-fantasy short stories, wherein spells, prophecies, curses and hexes don't quite work out as hoped. Obviously, I'm proud of my own story, "Sight Unseen" by Matthew A.J. Anderson (that's me) - about a pair of young magic users who try an invisibility spell that doesn't work out like they'd planned. but I've read some of the other stories, and I don't think you'll be disappointed by this collection. there's "Hex Messages" by Stephanie Dare Adams - a fun tale about why powerful witches should be wary of what they drink at college parties; "Last Rite of the God Heist" by Gregory D. Little - about an inexperienced officer, performing a dangerous ritual for her society's imprisoned gods; "Be Like the Pigeon" by Matt Thompson - the story of a pair of wizarding brothers, cursed to speak only in poetic verse & many, many more fantasy stories to inspire, intrigue and enchant...

You can't buy the book yet as it's not yet out, but if this peaks your interest, I highly encourage you to check it out when it's launched. Part of the proceeds to this work goes towards Toys for Tots, so you're not just supporting smaller publishers and writers, but also giving to a children's charity.
But, if the book isn't out yet... why am I telling you about it today?

Well, because the book WILL be out, in just 20 DAYS from today. The launch is scheduled for Tuesday, November 9th at 8PM Central Time, as the publisher is in Texas. To celebrate, Cursed Dragon Ship Publishing has organized a public book launch to be streamed live on Twitch.tv, with as many of the contributing authors as possible (myself included). Like I said, it's organized by Central time, but as I'm not American, by my reckoning the book launches at:

Wednesday, November 10th (2021), 1:00PM AEDT
(click here, and this should show a converter for your local time)

I am still sorting out the specifics, but I believe if you head to Twitch.tv/CursedDragonShip at that date and time, you can join us for the launch.

- - -

Save the Date, Mark the Calendar & Set the Alarm - I am looking forward to this, and I hope you'll come join me, my fellow authors, the editors and possibly more people (I'm a featured author, not an organizer, so I'm still a little fuzzy on the details). Check out the Cursed Dragon Ship website for any updates.

Until Next Time, I'm the Absurd Word Nerd, and I hope you'll come join us if possible. I'm nervous, but excited, to see how this thing goes... and in the meantime, come back for as I continue my Halloween Countdown shenanigans, tomorrow.

UPDATE: book now available to buy at Misspelled – Magic Gone Awry – Cursed Dragon Ship Publishing

Monday 18 October 2021

Dream a Little Dream...

Oh my... what time is it? My dear, is it that time already? I must have overslept. Give me a moment to stretch these old bones.   POP!   CRACK!   SNAP!
Ohhh yes, that's much better. You know what they say, time flies when you're having fun. Which I guess means that whilst we're all captured in our houses, rattling our cages in desperation, time crashed a long time ago. It's been dragging along the ground, scraping its feet like a rotting zombie. But, despite the slow and staggering march of time, we have arrived once again at the season of scare, the hour of horror, the month of monsters... "hallowtide" - and of course, the Halloween Countdown, starting with the anniversary of my own daunting creation - my birthday.
Happy Birthday to you, but beware what you do....
Or this might be the last time, that we sing this to you!
Ah! Time to celebrate, let's all gather in the streets and- oh, I do apologize, it must have slipped my mind. Not everyone is allowed to leave their homes. What have you people been doing, trapped inside all this time?
Climbing the walls? Going stir crazy?
It's true that a lot of people have suffered because of their entrapment, and not just the people in my basement. Humans crave each other, as friends, lovers and prey, and so when we they are separate, it can drive us all a little whacko.

All of this separation anxiety has actually brought to my mind the subject of dreams... The word of the day is 'DREAM':
Dream /dreem/ n. 1. A succession of images, thoughts, or emotions passing through the mind during sleep. 2. The sleeping state in which this occurs. 3. An object seen in a dream. 4. An involuntary vision occurring to a person when awake. 5. A vision voluntarily indulged in while awake; daydream; reverie. 6. An aspiration; goal; aim: A trip to Europe is his dream. 7. A wild or vain fancy. 8. Something of an unreal beauty, charm, or excellence. ♦ v.i. 9. Dreamed or dreamt, dream·ing. 10. To have a dream. 11. To indulge in daydreams or reveries: He dreamed about vacation plans when he should have been working. 12. To think or conceive of something in a very remote way (usually followed by of): I wouldn't dream of asking them. ♦ v.t. 13. Dreamed or dreamt, dream·ing. 14. To see or imagine in sleep or in a vision. 15. To imagine as if in a dream; fancy; suppose. 16. To pass or spend (time) in dreaming (often followed by away): to dream away the afternoon. ♦ adj. 17. Most desirable; ideal: a dream vacation.
Why dreams? Well, with everyone stuck at home, sleep is the only thing we can rely on with any certainty - for some, it's the only thing on their schedule.
But much more than that, this notion of being alone, when surrounded by others, brings to my mind the nature of dreams. When you dream, you are inside your own mind, even though you may feel like you're surrounded by others. There may be people you recognize, people you know, that you see in dreams - but when you talk to them, you're really only talking to yourself.

Dreams are the ultimate trap, because you can convince yourself that you're not alone, when you're the only real person there... which is also why dreams can only work if your brain is sleeping - your reasoning centres and logic are all put to rest, so that the talking toilet seat in your mind doesn't raise concern until you wake up again. If you could actually reason and understand everything that was happening in your dreams, then you'd be horrified...
Trapped in an unreal and imperfect world, limited by your experiences. You can never see anything new or original, because you can only see what you've already seen before. No new friends, no new experiences, no new stories.

A few times, during this lockdown, it has felt like living in a dream. Because of the isolation and the repeating images, reliving the same thing again and again. There is a term for this - derealization. In some senses, it is the opposite of realization, which is coming to understand something, to percieve something as true. Instead, it's comind to misunderstand something, to lose a sense of what and where you are, and percieve the things around you as untrue or unreal.
But moreso than that, it's a symptom of mental unwellness... losing grip on reality and feeling detached from the physical world.

And this is before we even get into the question of nightmares. Our dreams are when our minds explore the depths within, piecing together information in new ways as we form memories... but not everything in our minds is so sweet and cute and innocent. The things that scare us and traumatize us; the things we regret and despise & the things we thought were long forgotten can all be dug up and shovelled back in front of us - and by the very thing you thought you could trust, your own mind. During this Halloween Countdown, I want to explore dreams, and nightmares and the many things that come with them. So, won't you join me?

I'm the Absurd Word Nerd, and until next time... sleep tight.

Saturday 24 October 2020

Australian Poetry Slam 2020 - Albury Heat, "WAM Zoom Slam" (2nd Place Finalist)

If you're wonderign what the SEVEN Illustration is... Audiences don't applaud during poetry slams, they click. Hence, the clicking fingers...
Nightmares

Daddy Daddy, there's a monster that lives under my bed!
He wants to chew on my my toe-nails, and rip off my head!
  Hush kiddo, let's see... no, no monsters down here.
  When I lift up your mattress, there's nothing to fear.
See, monsters don't live in these dark, scary places.
They live in our suburb, and wear regular faces.
  Real monsters will kill you, or rape you, molest you,
  Use you, abuse you, exclude you, detest you,
They call some men "faggots", and some women "whores",
And they only like privilege, when it's not yours.
  But all of them deep down enjoy all this violence.
  So their victims must choose between death and silence.
See kiddo, no monsters, hiding under your sheets,
They're behind the closed doors, now go back to sleep...

Mommy, mommy, come quick! There's a beast in my closet!
It wants to tear out my insides - it's real! Yes, I saw it!
  Well, let's look... baby, look, no, it's just your reflection.
  So let's just turn the mirror in a different direction.
Because that's the real beast here, depression and stress,
and the more that you fight it, the more you repress,
  Till you cut yourself, kill yourself, drink, drugs or worse
  you might start to hurt others, just to manage this curse,
Your my child, I love you, and I'll give you my best,
But I don't understand how you feel when depressed,
  Or anxious or manic or with P.T.S.D.,
  Some try to, god bless them, but most just cannot see.
So let's switch off the light, baby, go back to bed.
There's no beast in the closet, it's all in your head.

Mommy! Daddy! Come quick! There's a ghost in the yard!
It wants to haunt me, and take me away in the dark!
  Let me see, let me see, let me turn on the light...
  No honey, just a shadow that gave you a fright.
Ghosts don't exist, they don't hide in the black.
When you die there's no ghost. Nothing dead can come back.
  So don't be scared of the ghosties and ghouls, it's a lie
  So some folks can think they're not dead when they die.
Even thoughts in our heads are just sparks in our brains.
But when that spark goes out, just our body remains
  Then we're put in the ground, where our bodies will rot,
  Until all of the things that you love are forgot.
There's no ghost here to haunt you, my dear, close your eyes;
Just the haunting reminder that everything dies.

So don't be scared of the monster, the ghost or the beast,
These are fiction, they can't hurt you, not in the least.
  Because nightmares are easy, make no mistake...
  It's the world that we live in that keeps me awake.


- - - - - - - - - - - - -
[Author's Note: This is only a written form of the poem, but I actually performed it as part of the Albury Heat of the 2020 Poetry Slam. The recording is not publicly available at this time (and may not be available at all) so I'm afraid you can't see it for yourself.
However, as I scored high enough to earn second place, I actually go to the next round, which means that you can still see me perform at least one more of my poems, for the Australian Poetry Slam 2020 NSW Finals. If you would like to attend, you can get tickets online at the Australian Poetry Slam website, right here! This is an online event, so you can take part from the comfort of your own home. I do know that it will be a part of the Word Travels' festival Story Week, November 6th-14th and the poetry slam itself is on at 8pm, November 11th - the recommended price is $25 for a full-access ticket, but the cost for a single event should be just $5 (or less, depending on your situation).
I am not asking for you to come just to cheer me on, or even just to watch the poets perform - in my experience, book, fiction, story & writer's festivals are an absolute blast to attend. When I lived in Queensland, I attended the Brisbane Writer's Festival every year; and this year as a newly-housed New-South-Welshman, I happily took part in the Write Around the Murray Festival, and very much enjoyed the many and varied performances, seminars & stories available. Even though it had to be mostly online due to the current pandemic, I still had a blast, and I will definitely be attending next year as well, it was a lot of fun. So, please, come along if you can and see what there is available online - it's well worth the price of admission - and if you want you can see me and the other poetry slam finalists perform, you can at 8pm, November 11th. I hope you find yourself there.]

Sunday 18 October 2020

A Sick & Sad World

Can't get more unlucky than a Biohazardous THIRTEEN.
I was so glad to hear that people are finally seeing the world my way...
- "the world is sick, and people are dying from their ignorance of this unstoppable sickness" -
However, I was sadly mistaken...
For, it turns out, it wasn't the sickness that I'm seeing, of hope, joy and fearlessness. No no, it was a literal, viral sickness that infects the lungs, and kills the elderly.
Whilst, for my Halloween Countdown, I thrive on death and suffering, even I must admit that there's less fun to be had when these foolish mortals are dropping so easily. Where's the fun in that? Where's the challenge in that? It's like shooting fish in a barrel. Whilst that may sound appealing, take my word for it, after just a few shotgun blasts all you'll have is a putrid barrel of red water and fish guts.
See, now there is a real sickness in this world - but I'm not going to let that spoil my fun - NOT today, of all days. Because, after all, today... is my Birthday:
Happy Birthday to You,
But Beware what you do...
Or, this might be the Last Time,
That we sing this to You...
Oh yes. That little piece of poetry is usually just a macabre reminder of the remainder of our mortality, but this year it's more true than most. Because if you don't beware what you do, dying is a significant risk.
Not necessarily death - but definitely Dying. The COVID-19 coronavirus kills through the death and dysfunction of your lung cells, which means that even if you become infected and survive, you will first have to spend at least two - but up to six - weeks, struggling to breathe, all the while coughing; with fever and fatigue.
Your lungs begin to die, and as they are dying if your body cannot heal those cells quick enough - or you can't find a respirator or medical assistance to help your weakened lungs to breathe until you can regain your strength -  then the rest of you will die as a result of oxygen deprivation. You suffocate to death.

It is for this reason that I have no pity for the worthless fools that promote the ridiculous hoax that this coronavirus is fake, or that the necessary steps to protect us (i.e. self-isolation, hand-washing & face masks) are not necessary. It is pure ignorance... unfortunately for me, I already spent last year's Halloween Countdown talking about such horrifying miseducation, so I cannot dwell on it for another 13 days. But, rest assured, these people are ignorant, and could do well to learn from my post about Skepticism 101.

But this year, I'm focusing on sickness. And not so much mental sicknesses (as that was the theme of 2015's Halloween Countdown two years before that), but rather physical ailment, and in particular bacterial, genetic and/or virological - often microscopic - agents that enter our bodies and wreak havoc on our immune systems, biological systems and, in a disturbing number of cases, results in our disfigurement or death. Doesn't that sound fun?

- well, it does to me, and it's my birthday, so if you don't like it go blow your nose.
But, if you do like it, or are interested to see what I have to say, please stick around. In the middle of this plague, it's not like there's a whole lot to do outside, so why not sit at home and enjoy your Halloween Countdown with me. Who knows, maybe you'll catch something while you're here...

I'm the Absurd Word Nerd, until next time I hope you stay happy and healthy out there. There's enough dying going on out there in this sick, sad world; we don't want to have to add your corpse to the pile.

Monday 23 March 2020

Outbreak Diary - Day 001

The Facts in the Case of Australia's Coronavirus Outbreak

I write a lot of fiction on this blog - I even attempted some unfiction/nosleepypasta at one point, which was fiction but pretended otherwise. But, let me be clear, this is not fiction, this is the truth about what is happening in Australia - and in cases where I don't know the truth, I will do my best to be fully open about that. A lot is happening, but it feels like a lot of people are out of the loop on this one. So, I wanted to write this to try to inform people about some of the stuff that they don't currently know, and try to explain this virus, as well as disperse some of the misinformation which is being circulated during these times of confusion.

My name is Matthew Aaron John Anderson, I live in Queensland in the Greater Brisbane Area - the date is the 23rd of March 2020 (a Monday), and the time is 4:32 am, as I begin writing this.

I don't know too much about the beginning, but here's what I can piece together from the very start of this pandemic, based on what I've seen in the news, and the research I've done. Most people have heard of the SARS - Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome, it's a pretty nasty disease, which caused thousands of deaths of South Chinese people between November 2002 and July 2003.
It's a disease which has flu-like symptoms - fever, muscle pain, coughing, sore throat and lethargy. This can lead to shortness of breath, pneumonia and other nonspecific symptoms.
But, the important fact in this case is that this Syndrome is a disease which is caused by a virus, specifically the SARS-CoV, which is to say the SARS Coronavirus.

What is a "Coronavirus"?

See, a coronavirus is a kind of virus which, under the microscope looks kind of like a children's "soft thorn ball" [Author's Note: I always called them nipple balls (they look like nipples to me), but you know, these things: link], basically, a sphere covered in evenly spaced studs.
Now, the difference between a virus and most other living things, like cells, amoeba or bacteria is that viruses can't self-replicate - they can't recreate themselves on their own, by sexual reproduction, parthenogenesis, or just splitting in half like some cells do. The way that they can continue to survive and spread is by finding a living cell which has DNA, and injecting it with their own RNA, so that it basically tricks the host cell into replicating the virus for it.
That's why the coronavirus looks the way it does - a ball covered in little studs - actually, let's get technical, they're actually called peplomers, or viral glycoprotein spikes. These viral spikes have developed to attach or fuse to host cell membranes, and then inject their genome payload.
It's not a perfect analogy, but it works kind of like a cuckoo bird - which lays its giant egg in the nest of another bird, and pushes the mother bird's own eggs out of the nest in the process. Except instead of a nest, it's the cells of your body, and instead of an egg, it's a coronavirus.
Or, if you're a geek, think of it like a vampire. Since the virus is undead (using that term loosely), it can't reproduce, so it reproduces by biting "mortal" cells, and making them into vampires as well, so they can then go on and bite more.

The reason this makes us sick is because when a cell is busy being a virus, or helping to replicate and perpetuate a virus, it can't continue to be the healthy cell it was. So, if a virus managed to infect your eyes, then it would break down the biology of your eye, and you'd go blind. If a virus managed to infect your brain, then you'd have neurological issues as your brain lost functioning parts. Or, in this case of SARS, as this affects your lung tissue most readily, it means that you would struggle to breath as your lungs become less "lung" and more "coronavirus".

But, why am I talking about SARS? Well, because viruses work by seizing healthy cells to replicate, it means that like everything else in the world, as those cells replicate, they can mutate and evolve. SARS virus, whilst being very effectively managed in human populations, it was still around in other animals, such as bats - in fact specifically bats, as virologists have determined that a mutation of the SARS virus, known as the "2019 novel coronavirus", or "SARS-CoV-2" is genetically similar to SARS viruses found in bats. As this disease mutated, it became much more virulent - now, the exact details of this aren't certain, but it is believed that this virulent form found in bats was spread to pangolins in Wuhan, China.
A pangolin is a mammal closely related to armadillos and sloths, it's also known as a "scaly anteater", and it looks kind of cute, but the important thing is, it's endemic to China, which is where SARS-CoV-2 first managed to transfer from bats, and into the human population, in late 2019. Which is what is causing the Coronavirus Disease of 2019, which is why we're calling this disease COVID-19.

Which, on a bit of a lighter note, is a shame. With just the slightest of tweaks, we could have been calling this "Bat Flu", which I think sounds cooler and rolls off the tongue better, but when people started calling this disease "Wuhan Coronavirus" or "The Chinese Virus", the health officials in charge decided to nip the racist connotations of that in the bud, and stick to the official designation "COVID-19"
- this is why we can't have nice things.
[Author's Note: Whilst I personally blame xenophobia on the spread of "Chinese Virus" as a term, apparently the World Health Organization has guidelines and regulations for this - in fact they have a report titled "World Health Organization best practices for the naming of new human infectious diseases" (2015) - which discourages the use of location names, as well as encourages attempts to avoid confusion with prior viruses. This is why it's not called "SARS 2", even though that's basically the virus's name (SARS-CoV-2) - so that people can differentiate between the two more easily.]

Why is this virus different from Influenza/SARS/Common Cold/etc?

I'm going to go into more detail, but long-story short: it can kill more people.

Now, whilst this disease is not going to wipe out the whole world, and all things told, the death toll appears to be about 4% of infected - so if 100 random people were infected, approximately four should die - that's not too bad all told.
However, as I mentioned above, this virus mutated from the SARS found in bats, and two of those mutations are very relevant. I'm not a biologist or virologist, so I can't explain the mechanism, but in layman's terms:

  1. This disease has an incubation period of 2-14 days, from the time of infection, to the onset of physical symptoms.
    • This means infected persons felt healthy, despite coming into contact with the virus, so they wouldn't realize they were carrying and spreading the disease until 2 weeks later. Initial carriers were effectively "viral sleeper agents", heading home and socializing as normal, spreading the disease.
      This is how the disease managed to spread internationally - people who felt fine were travelling around the world before realizing they were spreading the disease.
  2. There are no known effective antiviral medications or vaccines available for the disease at this time, as it didn't exist until recently.
    • This is to say, because this new subspecies of SARS virus mutated only recently, November 2019 at the very earliest (but maybe December 2019) this species of virus is at most, only 4 months old (at time of writing). That is why this was called a "novel virus", essentially this is a newborn, we don't know how it behaves, we don't know what it's strengths and weaknesses are. It's only in the last month that we seemed to confirm that the main form of transmission was respiratory droplets, so we're scrambling to learn as much as we can.
At the moment, if you contract coronavirus, the treatment is symptomatic not etiological - that is to say, we can only treat the side-effects of the disease, not the cause. We can only effectively manage your symptoms (such as fever, joint aches, sore throat & coughing), to make you comfortable and healthy, so that your immune system can do the rest.
If we use that vampire metaphor - we can't actually kill the vampires, so instead we're trying to make the rest of the town strong enough to withstand the attack, and stop more people getting bitten, until the vampires all die of thirst.

This is why this disease is as deadly as it is. If your immune system isn't strong enough to do the rest - to fight off the virus - then you will die. This is why you may have heard about people who are "high risk" of this disease - which is to say that you have a higher risk of death, debilitation or severe illness, if you contract this disease. So, you are considered to face increased risk if you have:
  • Advanced Age (especially 60 years or older)
  • Breathing Difficulty
  • Diabetes
  • Heart Disease
  • Hypertension
  • Respiratory Disease (i.e. Asthma)
  • A Compromised Immune System
This should not be confused with people who are "at risk" of contracting the disease. In Australia, this includes people who have travelled to an area with high community transmission, such as the areas in China, Italy, the Phillipines; and those caring for sufferers of this virus (including nurses and those assisting people in self-isolation).

Now, a regular influenza isn't fun, in fact people do die every Cold & Flu Season, but the difference is that your average flu has an incubation of about 2-4 days which means it burns through you pretty quickly, and you'll feel the symptoms pretty quickly meaning you can call a sick day (effectively self-isolating), and you'll get over it quick and harmlessly, since medications are available. Also, people who are high risk cam simply get vaccinated. So, it's unlikely that one person can spread this to hundreds of people in a short amount of time - but it does spread slowly enough that the Common Cold never dies out (which is why it's so common). So, you may infect two or three people, but if any of you take care not to spread it, then you limit the spread significantly, from little to none.
But, the way this virus works, because there's no medications and it incubates for so long, if we just ignore it then literally everyone will get sick, and everyone will get sick very quickly - it's a concept known as exponential growth. I don't know the exact numbers for this virus, so let's use an example:
Let's say we have a hypothetical disease called "Two Flu", (because one person will infect 1 other person in a day, meaning it doubles)
Let's see how this would play out:
Day 01: Patient Zero is infected - 1 person is infected with Two Flu
Day 02: Patient Zero infects his friend - 2 people have Two Flu.
Day 03: Patient Zero and friend both infect a person each - 4 people are infected.
It would start off small, but as it effectively doubles each time. it grows quickly...
Day 10: Just over a week has passed - 512 people are now infected with Two Flu.
     . . .
Day 20: Almost 3 weeks have gone by - 524,288 people are infected.
     . . .
Day 30: Approximately 1 month passes - 536,870,912 people are infected.
And that's not all - according to the best numbers we have, there are approximately seven and a half billion people on earth, 7,500,000,000 - meaning...
Day 34, Two Flu has spread across the globe - Every single person is infected.
Thankfully, "Two Flu" is harmless, because it's fictional... but Coronavirus isn't harmless, and it is virulent enough that it can reach exponential growth - and already has in some countries. Now, whilst COVID-19 isn't as fast as the fictional "Two Flu", we've seen cases of it double (from 500 to 1,000, in one case) in as little as 3 days, and in some cases increasing by thousands in as much as a week. That's not as fast as doubling daily, but that's still alarmingly fast. At this rate, the entire world could be infected before Christmas. That's why it's such a concern.

And while the average death rate is 4% now, that's based on the whole numbers, but if you break it down by demographics:
people aged 80 or older who become infected have a 14.8%-21.9% chance of dying
infected people aged 70-79 have an 8% chance of dying
infected people aged 60-69 have a 3.6% chance.
infected people aged 50-59 have a 1.3% chance of dying
anyone younger than 50 has less than a 1% chance (0.2%-0,4%)
Except 0-9 year olds, which thus far have had zero fatalities*

*note that at time of writing, there have been less than 10 cases of people aged 9 years old or less contracting the COVID-19 virus. So, although they currently have a 0% chance of death, the sample size for that group is too low for useful data. This doesn't mean they're at risk, simply that we don't have enough information to say whether they are or not.


How am I supposed to deal with COVID-19?

Well, step one is to remain informed, and act reasonably and rationally. I had a read through some of the common misconceptions, and deliberate misinformation, regarding this virus, and it is ridiculous. Unfortunately, politicians and even major news outlets have occasionally posted misinformation, or presented it in the form of scaremongering. Some of it is excusable, but most of it is not.
In a later post, I may discuss some of the misconceptions, but for now rather than confronting falsehoods, I want to simply present you with some truth. So, if you want to prevent the spread of this disease:

1. Wash Your Hands often, with Soap and Water, for 20 seconds, especially after visiting a public place, going to the toilet, blowing your nose, coughing or sneezing; and before eating or touching on or around your eyes, mouth and nose.
See, this virus, although it's hard to see, it's still a physical organism, and the membrane that makes up its skin (also called the viral envelope) is composed of protein and fat. This is how it travels through respiratory droplets, the surface tension of the oil allows it to float in water, and that oily surface can also stick to skin until the viral spikes can find a cell to penetrate. However, soap has amphiphilic molecules - which means molecules which stick to both oil and water, allowing them to mix rather than separate. So, if soap comes into contact with the membrane of a COVID-19 coronavirus, it literally breaks apart, just like wet tissue paper. Of course, this process isn't immediate, it takes about 20 seconds (so a simple rinse and wipe isn't good enough). Also, once you break apart the virus, the water helps to wash its eviscerated corpse down the sink. And most hand sanitizers work, since ethanol is also amphiphilic, and that tends to be the active ingredient in hand sanitizers. But, just to be safe, you should read the ingredients and make sure that the sanitizer is at least 60% ethyl alcohol.
Since I'm having fun with my virus metaphor, think of these like sunlight to the vampires, breaking them down to ashes... but unable to reach them once they get inside.
Oh, and before you ask - although soap can kill the virus, the reason why we can't use soap to heal people who are already infected is that soap is safe on your skin, but it's deadly if it gets into your body. If you want to know more, look up "soap poisoning", but I warn you, it can get pretty grisly.
2. Maintain Good Personal Hygiene in General, including cleaning and disinfecting objects and surfaces which you touch regularly.
This matters because this virus can survive for some time outside of the body and disinfecting places that people touch prevents it from spreading. But, even if you don't have any infected persons around your house, it's useful to keep clean and healthy, because a compromised immune system puts you at greater risk - and having a pre-existing illness such as the common cold, food poisoning or the flu is one way to compromise your immune system.
3. Practice Social Distancing (of approximately 150cm), from those who have contracted, are at risk of contracting the virus; as well as those whose health you cannot guarantee, or those who are in the high risk category.
I've seen a lot of people joking about "social distance", since it's a funny concept, and refering to "no touching" rules as social distancing sounds like the same kind of unintuitive backwards-brained political correctness that leads to calling lies "alternative facts". Now, I can't speak for the person who came up with the term, but I think part of the issue is that people are inferring "social distance" to mean "a distance which is considered social", as opposed to what it is meant to imply which is "distancing during social activities".
Another issue is that people aren't sure when this rule should apply, as (for instance) a car rarely has enough space to sit a metre and a half apart. Are there times when social distance is okay to ignore? Can we hug our parents and children? Can we kiss our loved ones? Am I really going to get sick if I stand too close to a stranger?
The fact is, this rule exists for people whom we know have the virus, and so the rule isn't necessary, and can be ignored, when we know that both we and the person in question don't have the virus. However, because these are still early days, there is a huge grey area of "people who we don't know if they have the virus or not". And for those people you should still keep your distance, just in case, because that way it ensures nobody is at risk of sharing the virus.
So, are you sick? is your child sick? Has your partner contracted this illness? Has anyone in your family gone overseas, particularly to the epicenters of this virus? If not, then please, I implore you to hug and kiss your loved ones - with consent, of course.
In fact, my mother has a theory that with everyone being cooped up inside, there's a good chance we'll have a second baby boom, and I am conditionally in consensus with that hypothesis, but we will see...
4. If You are Infected with Coronavirus, Isolate Yourself, avoiding all physical contact with other people, staying home if possible. This includes staying away from hospitals and doctors, contacting them by phone when necessary, and if you require further care and need to visit a doctor, call them ahead of time.
This is one of the most important guidelines. You must avoid coming into close contact with anyone and everyone. This may not be possible in all cases, but it is necessary to avoid the spread of this disease. Of course, this isn't easy or fun, but that's why it's better to avoid getting sick than it is to isolate yourself after getting sick.

Wow, it's taken a long time to write this... several hours have passed as I've written and researched this, so now it's after midday, which means that here in Australia, we've now officially locked down several places where large groups of people would gather:
  • All Social Venues (i.e. Nightclubs, Casinos, Cinemas, etc.)
  • Some Sports Venues (i.e. Gyms & Stadiums)
  • Most Licensed Venues (i.e. Hotels, Clubs, Pubs; but excluding retail bottle shops and accommodation within hotels, motels, etc.)
  • All Places of Worship (i.e. Churches, Temples, Mosques, etc.)
  • All Dine-in & Table Service Hospitality Venues (i.e. Restaurants, Cafés, Bistros; but only for dining in, and such businesses are permitted to still serve food in the form of delivery, drive-thru or take-away)

Keep in mind, based on what The Prime Minister said last night, all these places are going to stay locked down for the next 6 months.

That being the case, it means I still haven't really answered the question - how is everyone supposed to deal with such strict regulations in place, and all these rules to follow, for six whole months?
Well, easy - do what I'm doing. I write as a kind of hobby, do you have a hobby? I figured keeping a diary of these times would be interesting. I won't write every day, but I thought this could help keep me busy. If you can't work from home, you can also watch TV, do chores around the house or relax, so long as you make sure to exercise - whether that means an exercise routine, or just going for a walk, you need to stay active (so long as you keep a social distance, you can exercise outside). And, most importantly, make sure that you call people and stay in touch. We're a social species, so we need to socialize a little for our mental health, and although you shouldn't visit friends and family, you can still contact them with all kinds of telephonic technology and social media.
I don't know about you, but I have a whole bookshelf of books that need reading, so I'm going to read a book, and of course do some writing. Oh, and try to stop touching your face. I don't know about you, but I rub my eyes all the time. Not only is it a bad habit, but it's risky in these viral times...

I'm the Absurd Word Nerd, trying to keep everyone, including myself, as informed as I can during this pandemic. Until Next Time, be careful out there, don't panic & stay informed.

Friday 18 October 2019

The Fear We All Forget...

Good evening, dearest reader. Once again, I find myself being dragged back to the annual ritual of the Halloween Countdown.
  A count of the days, counting down from thirteen,
  From today, thirteen nights till we see Halloween.
Whilst I love to dwell in the delights of the horrific and the horrible in this haunting hour of the horrid... I'm a touch lugubrious, this year. For you see, that tonight is my birthday - the inciting incident of this performance:
Happy Birthday to you,But beware what you do,Or this might be the last timeThat we sing this to you...
This year, I'm turning Twenty-Eight. I was so ecstatic, last year, to be turning Twenty-Seven, as it is one of my favourite numbers, but now I fear I am not entering some enigmatic era of my erstwhile entertaining existence, but rather I am simply one more year older. It's a touch depressing... I was once so young, and now, I'm dripping away like the interminable grains of sand in my mortal hourglass. It's making me yearn for a time when I was a younger morsel.

Indeed, I find myself in a reflective mood, looking back on those times of my childhood that I once enjoyed or endured with naive hope, and ignorant bliss.
I guess you could say that I'm suffering from a sense of longing for the past - which is apt, considering that the word of the day is: 'NOSTALGIA'
Nostalgia /nos'taljiə/ n. 1. A wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life, to one's home or homeland, or to one's family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time: A nostalgia for his college days. 2. Something that elicits or displays nostalgia.
You see, nostalgia was once an affliction for the mentally unwell - it is a longing and fascination for home or the times of our youth that is so powerful that it causes disorder and discomfort in our life. A sense of unease for the way things are, due to a desire for the way things once were.

Nostalgia has always been a source of suffering. Yes, suffering... sickness and perversion...

Well, perhaps I can find some joy in this wistful sentimentalism after all. For you see, not only have I been reminiscing on the pleasures and simplicity of childhood and innocence, but also on the hidden darknesses and secret pains.

People often view the past through rose-coloured glasses, letting the less charitable memories shrivel up and wilt away like old flower petals, and seeing only the colour on the surface. But, much like those wilted petals and leaves and branches, those memories don't go away, they simply sit underneath, hiding worms and creepy crawlers in the loamy darkness.
So, let's go digging up some old memories…

For this year's display, we'll traipse through some moribund memories of forgotten youth, and the media which helped to populated my nightmares with monsters. As well, I'll explore childish amusements and games which have lead to tragedy, horror and death. I'll also be setting my sights on some of the mythical creatures that prey on children. And of course, as always, I'll be sharing some select stories with you, of a sentimental sort. I hope you find this year's Countdown to be… unforgettable.

Until Next Time, I'm the Absurd Word Nerd, longing for those days that once were, but never will again.

Monday 27 May 2019

Momentous

I'm probably overthinking this - because I tend to overthink everything. That's kinda what I do... so, I figure, I might as well just bite the bullet and write this damn thing. After all, today is the 27th of May, and I have an irrational preference for the number twenty-seven.
Speaking of numbers, I'm not really sure what's so special about the number 300. I mean, sure, it's the highest score you can get, playing a perfect game of bowling (twelve strikes). It's also the name of a Zach Snyder movie about Spartans (based on a Frank Miller comic about Spartans). Of course, that movie was inspired by the Spartan legend of the 300 Spartans who fought in the Battle of Thermopylae. But they're not alone in legendary militia - in religious narratives, the "300 soldiers" appears to be a common motif. 300 Israeli soldiers fight the Midianites; in Islamic Tradition there remained 300 Israeli survivors of the conflict with Goliath & there were 300 followers of Muhammad that survived the Battle of Badr.

But, at the end of the day, this remains yet another milestone - an integer chosen arbitrarily due to being the square of 10 (the basis of our decimal numbering system). I don't think that the number, or even this post, is in and of itself special. What makes it special, and meaningful to me, is that it shows the distances that I have come and (if you are a loyal reader) which you have come along with me.
But what about this moment is special? What should I talk about right now. It feels significant, but I'm not certain as to why or how.
Well... something that I have been considering lately is the significance that can be found in all moments, regardless of the broad sweeping inevitability of time, or the general outlook of the era at large. Lately, I have felt like I keep losing track of "now", and the present moment occasionally seems to slip through my fingers.

For you see, I sometimes suffer from chronic anxiety - I always have it, but usually I manage it. It is a mental illness, whereby your brain overreacts to stress and fear, and/or results in having that response triggered by mildly or completely harmless stimuli (in many cases, the stimulus itself doesn't exist). I have talked about this many times before, so I hope this information isn't new to you. But what may be novel to hear is that this isn't simply "a sense of dread".
Anxiety may manifest in different ways for different people, but one of the ways - and indeed the way this affects me - is that I can often find myself disconnected from the current moment.
Sometimes, I worry about the things that I've done, or the things that have happened to me which I may have avoided if I'd acted differently in the past; or even I worry that things which have happened which I don't fully understand may happen again.
Or, I may stress about the future, and not only the consequences it may hold for me, but also the opportunities which I am denying myself based on the actions I am not taking & the ways that the future may be both predictable and unpredictable in any given moment.

This is not the only symptom of my anxiety (far from it), but when I am stressed, I am often thinking about something that has happened to me, or something that I fear may happen to me - and it can mean that I am failing to pay close attention to those things that are currently happening to me.
And so, the word of the Day is: 'MOMENT'
Moment /mōmənt/ n. 1. An indefinitely short period of time; An instant. 2. The present, or any other particular time 3. A definite period or stage, as in a course of events; juncture: At this moment in history. 4. Importance or consequence: A decision of great moment. 5. Statistics The mean or average of a given power of the values of a set of variates. 6. Philosophy An aspect of a thing. 7. Physics A measure of the tendency to cause rotation around a point or axis, equal to the product of the force and its perpendicular distance from the point of the axis.
I struggle, at times, to fully embrace the moment, because I am so often concerning myself with the past and the future. And although I know these thoughts are irrational, that doesn't stop my mind from thinking them. See, in a sense, there is a mild sensation of stress and fear that is constantly bubbling just under the surface of my mind. It's usually very mild, and if I am in the right mindset (and  not forgotten to take my medication) the heat barely bothers me. Like resting by a fireplace, the heat is felt, but not feared.
However, since it is already so close to boiling point, a single disturbance can start it spilling over into my mind, and although it can't actually hurt, it can feel as though my mind is on fire. Now, if I recognize that the temperature is rising - that I am becoming stressed - then I can try to calm it with a proverbial cool breeze or soft, cold rain, to slowly calm the waters. On good days, the waters can even be practically still. But, because it is so energetic and frenetic most of the time, it is as though it is always on the verge of spilling over.

Please, keep in mind, this is all just a metaphor to illustrate my point, anxiety isn't literally "hot" (if anything, it can manifest as a cold chill down the spine). But, this is to demonstrate how my mind works in regards to my anxiety, because for the average person without anxiety, the waters beneath their mind are cool and calm as a serene lake, and they only boil over when something dangerous, cruel or tragic happens.
In a very poetic, illogical, metaphorical sense, you could say my mind is more tropical than most...

That's the reason this word resonates so much with me, to the point that I want to use it Today for my 300th Blog Post. It is because as I have managed more and more to take better care of myself and to enjoy the present moment moreso than fearing the past or future, I've become more aware of my life.
And perhaps more importantly, the reason I feel the need to tell all of you about it is because I feel like, although I am so often removed from the current moment on account of my anxiety, I also feel as though there are probably many people who despite lacking this particular mental illness, nonetheless don't seem to truly take part in the present time of their lives.

I mean, think about it - what are you doing right now? You're reading "this". And by this, I don't mean my blog post, but I meant that word. It's done now, you've read it and now you're reading this sentence. Of course, that's over now, and now you're reading this one. In a matter of seconds, you've read five sentences, have you taken a moment to think about you, in this moment, who you are and what you're doing?
Don't get me wrong, I'm wonderfully flattered that you've taken this moment out of your day, whatever time of day that may be, to read my words. And I also feel as though this is a good use of this moment in time - assuming of course that you're not procrastinating or ignoring some other pressing matter... in which case, you should probably do that first. But, have you taken the time to think about what's happening?

Now, don't worry, some people think of crap like this as profound. It's isn't - fuck that. I'm not here to tell you about how every moment is precious or that life isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away... blah blah blah, no. I'm not here to be a motivational poster. I don't want to draw your attention to the current moment due to its supposed "profundity", but due to it's simplicity and immediacy.
Yes, immediacy - perhaps that's the best way to think about it. It comes from the greek word "media", the plural for medium. When something is medium it's in the middle - often between two extremes: small, medium, large; soft, medium, hard; short, medium, tall - so, im-mediacy is about being IN the middle, between the past and the future. You're here in the middle of then and soon, in the present moment of NOW.

Again, I must reiterate, I am not saying that you need to "live life to the fullest", not only is that really lame and cringeworthy to me, but this idea that you need to live your life so that "no moment is wasted" is the kind of thing that can make you feel incredibly anxious in the first place.
Worrying about whether I was wasting my life was part of what made me curl up into a little ball and do nothing for a week - ironically, wasting my life even more.

See, one of the ways that my therapist taught me to deal with anxiety is called a grounding exercise - if you notice that you're starting to stress about something, what you are meant to do is set your worry aside by consciously identifying several things in your immediate environment which you are currently experiencing. There are several methods of doing so, but the one I use is based on a countdown of your senses. So, you have to simply identify:
5 things you can FEEL; 4 things you can SEE; 3 things you can HEAR; 2 things you can SMELL & 1 thing you can TASTE.
So let me run you through an example now. Right now,
Five things I can feel:
 • The pressure of the chair beneath my backside.
 • The keys of the keyboard beneath my fingers.
 • The tightness of my shoes on my feet.
 • The dulled edge of the desk on my forearm.
 • The warmth of the shirt on my back.
Four things I can see:
 • The colourful images of the YouTube video player on my screen
 • The coffee cup beside my monitor.
 • The messy three-tier tray of papers beside me.
 • A single five-cent piece that fell from my wallet onto the desk.
Three things I can hear:
 • The dull whirring of my computer's cooling fan.
 • The dull, plasticky clacking of my keyboard as I type this sentence.
 • The muffled sound of a newsreader from the television in the livingroom.
Two things I can smell:
 • The mild smell of sweat from my shirt (I went for a walk today).
 • A very light smell of dust from my desk.
One thing I can taste:
 • At the moment, simply my tongue, salivating since I am a little thirsty.

That's me at the present moment. Or, at least, it was a moment ago when I typed that, I'm going to go get that glass of water now - but the point is, once you identify these things, you recognize that these are all a part of the world around you which you're a part of - or, you could use another method to place yourself in the current moment. I use this because it's easy to remember, but there are several grounding and anchoring exercises. No matter which you use, the purpose of these exercises is to bring yourself out of this drifting, unsecured worry about what was, what may be or what could be, and ground yourself in the present, solid reality. In a sense, it's like snapping you awake out of a daydream.

Now, I'm not asking you to examine your own life on a second-by-second basis. This exercise is about ripping you out of your worry and bringing you back to the present moment, you don't need a grounding exercise unless you're worrying or lost in your thoughts. Rather, I am just hoping to draw your attention to the fact that your life is happening right now, and you should probably try to experience it whilst it's happening. Even the little moments...
See, I decided to write about this because of three moments. They were rather minor, but I feel they're worth mentioning:
  1. Firstly, about three weeks ago, I was going for a walk. I had been stressing and worrying, trying to figure out what I should do for this blog. I was wondering if I should do something simple, so I could draw it, or maybe I could do another vlogpost. But, I had no idea, so instead, I put it out of my mind, and instead considered stories that I was writing. When I walk and work on stories, it either consists of me talking to myself (either to brainstorm aloud, or speaking in character to develop dialogue), or I consider concepts again in the hopes that a literal new perspective could inspire something.
    As I walked I remember noticing that there was a large patch of dirt where the grass hadn't grown, through a combination of foot traffic and the occasional car parking by the fence. I noticed that some of the rocks in the dirt were green, or even clear and shiny. It was obvious that they were the result of broken bottles, but they weren't sharp, they'd been smoothed down to pebbles. It occured to me then, that even something as simple as the ground, can seem beautiful. Not only was there an interesting palette of colour, but I knew (although, I only recognized this subconsciously) that some had been collected, melted, shaped and coloured, before being filled with liquid, drunk and discarded, only to be moulded into a round pebble, whereas others may simply have washed down the road in the rain, or been kicked up by car tires or shoes. And all because I had taken a moment to pay attention... to the ground. That's when I first considered "moment" as a word.
  2. Secondly, although this happened nineteen years ago now, this may be the moment that resonates with most of you, rather than a moment staring at the ground - since it has the greatest impact. See, in the year 2000, the new millenium and a year full of promise and anticipation for many, Australia hosted the Olympics Games in Sydney. In a sense, it ruined the Olympics for me, not because it was bad, but because it was too good. Not only was I a nine-year-old kid, but I was seeing my whole country get excited - there were promotional tie-ins; the torch relay was all over the news and I even remember some school activities which made reference to the sporting events.
    But, that's not the one moment. The actual moment was during the Opening Ceremony. I watched it on television, at about 7pm, and I was mesmerized. The music, the dancing, the amazing puppetry & the jaw-dropping choreography. It is an amazing performance, and you should look it up if you've never seen it. But, what struck me was that, because of the camerawork, whilst it often showed the performance as a whole, it would occasionally cut to a close-up on just one moving sculpture, or one performer; one puppeteer, one horserider or one firebreather. In particular, there was a moment during the "Nature" segment of the ceremony, when several thousand people moved in a way that represented a bushfire followed by blossoming flowers - and in that moment I realized that every single individual involved had dedicated a fraction of their life (perhaps months of practice and rehearsal) to come together in one moment, to perform once live for two hours, then return home. According to Wikipedia, the ceremony had a cast of 12,687 people. I didn't know that at the time, but I saw in that moment how several thousand people can work together, to create something great in a single moment.
  3. Thirdly, I went to Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary with my family. Some of our Japanese extended family were visiting Australia, so we decided to take them to see some Aussie animals. I took a lot of photos, because I could get some amazing photos of the animals - I even managed to cuddle a snake called Isis (although, the handler insisted that they mostly called her Izzy). They also had a miniature railway, which could take you from one side of the park to the other, and because I absolutely adore trains, I insisted that we ride it. But, on the train, as we travelled I took three photos, then quickly realized that the train moved too quickly for my digital camera, making every photo an ugly blur. So, I put my phone in my pocket, and just enjoyed the ride. And, even though I didn't really "do" anything, it was a great experience - I just watched as we travelled through a park, saw a peacock, went in the tunnel, past the lake, then came to a stop by the reptile show and the live-flight display.
    Now, I probably would have enjoyed it just as much if I had taken photos - I took photos all day, and I loved it - but with empty hands, I realized that I was having an amazing time. Like I said, I love trains, we were chugging along at a good pace and it was also a beautiful day and we were headed to see a birdflight show. It felt great to be alive that day.
Of course, these aren't the only moments which matter - my point is meant to be that most of them matter - but I believe that these moments are emblematic of what I talk about when I say that I find meaning in being aware of your present moment. The reason why I shared them with you is because those are moments in my life which I will remember because of how they made me feel grounded in the present moment, and realize where and when I was. I am glad I experienced all of them, even though some were more grandiose than others - because yes, it's important to be fully aware during those momentous occasions, but that doesn't mean we should ignore the occasional moment.

Now, maybe I'm just overthinking it again. Perhaps these simple moments feel more potent to me because, when I was stressed or feeling depressed, these minor moments were emotionally stained with negativity. I am finding more enjoyment in the present because it's not as depressing as it once was.
But, if this blog meant something to you, and you feel like your life is passing you by, or like you're simply a passenger on a world that's spinning faster than you can comprehend. Maybe you occasionally feel stressed, and find yourself lost in worry. For whatever the reason.  I want you to take a moment to ground yourself. Whether you need an exercise to realize the world around you, or if you simply need to reconsider how you look at things... perhaps you should take a moment to experience the present time of your life.

If not, well, thank you in the least for sharing this moment with me - since it is the 300th moment of 299 moments which I've shared on this blog. Even if it doesn't seem that meaningful, especially surrounded by some which are better or even worse, and it's a number without any grand significance, it's the fact that it's the moment happening now which makes it meaningful. Not special, not better, not profound... but it nonetheless matters, and hopefully it will be just another moment in the path ahead.

I'm the Absurd Word Nerd, and until next time, I'm gonna take a moment to myself to figure out what I'm going to do tomorrow.

Friday 19 October 2018

Nailing the Colours to the Man

As I write this blog post, my nail polish is chipped. It is a dark purple, and the colour is rather pretty, but because I have been pretty rough with my hands, the purple has chipped off near the edges of my painted ring finger, but I wanted to write this blog post first. I figured that since typing requires me ramming my fingers into these plastic keys, even if I let it dry, it would be a bit rough to put a newly painted nail through that, even if this post is about my nail.
If you’re confused as to why a man is wearing pretty, purple nail polish, allow me to explain . . .

I am a Polished Man. 

This is to say that I have polished one of the fingernails of my right hand a vibrant colour as part of the 2018 campaign, hosted by YGAP (Y-Generation Against Poverty), called Polished Man.
The aim of this campaign is to help manage and prevent violence against children by starting conversations regarding domestic violence and child safety, and also by raising money for trauma recovery and prevention programs.
By signing up, I’ve actually been given the opportunity to raise money for Polished Man, and if you are willing and able, I - and of course, these vulnerable kids - would appreciate it if you would donate money towards this great cause. You can do so at this link:

But, why am I talking about this during my Halloween Countdown? Well firstly, it’s because this campaign goes through October - I coloured my nail on October First, and will maintain it until October Thirty-First. But, secondly, it’s because not only does this tie in with this year’s theme of pain and torture . . . but, I personally find this entire situation horrifying. The reason why this campaign asks people to colour one fingernail, whilst the nail polish was inspired by a young Cambodian girl named Thea, is because according to worldwide statistics, every five minutes one child dies as a direct result of violence against children.
That is over 100,000 violent deaths every year. 100,000 murdered children.
Also, despite the fact that both men and women are encouraged to take part in this campaign and paint their nails, this is called Polished Man for a reason. According to statistics, 88% of sexual violence is perpretated by men. Now, the campaign isn’t about demonizing men or pointing the finger, but rather asking men to lead by example. Not only does a Polished Man raise awareness and perhaps money, but this campaign asks men to lead by example. When you paint your nail as a part of this campaign, you dedicate yourself to being a good man and encouraging others to do the same, and you take a stand against violence against children.

But, that is why this is so disturbing. This campaign exists because children are being beaten, raped and killed, worldwide. This means that this is happening - right now - in your country.
I live in Australia, and I have looked up some of the statistics from the campaign’s website. According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, one in six Australian women and one in ten Australian men report having been physically and/or sexually abused as a child. According to the Australian Institute of Family Studies, a new case of child abuse is reported to authorities in Australia every 90 seconds (355,000 reports in 2015-16). According to the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare, Indigenous Australian children are seven times more likely to experience abuse or neglect.

These are just the Australian statistics that I have verified, but these issues get worse for children who live in poverty, as they often don’t have the resources to get help. In this country we have child protective services, but in places where people are isolated or rural, they are often cut off from healthcare facilities and protective services . . .
The Polished Man campaign began in September 2013 when Elliot Costello, the co-founder of YGAP, visited Cambodia to get to know some of the people from Hagar International in Cambodia, one of the beneficiaries of their fundraising efforts. They visited a restaurant on the Mekong river to have dinner with twenty-one young kids who they had helped. Elliot sat at the table next to a young ten-year old girl named Thea. She spoke little-to-no English, but she enjoyed playing games and so she played noughts-and-crosses with him for hours. At the end of the night, Thea took a blue texta pen, and drew a blue heart on the palm of Elliot’s left hand, then she turned his hand over and coloured all of his nails in blue. After this dinner, Elliot came to learn that the reason why Thea was in the care of Hagar International was because at the age of eight her father had died and she had been sent to an orphanage as her mother couldn’t care for her. Whilst in this orphanage, she was sexually and physically abused on a near-daily basis for two years at the hands of a Western man who ran this orphanage.

This is a child who was sent into care, and as a result of that was abused for two years, and has been left with mental and physical scars. But, thanks to the help of campaigns like Polished Man, Thea was given the opportunity to have a childhood, and is now fifteen years old.

Thea, and the other twenty kids in that facility, have a better life as a direct result of the help given by YGAP and the monetary support provided by campaigns like Polished Man. But this is just one of their beneficiaries - funds are also directed towards some of the best trauma recovery agencies in the world including the Australian Childhood Foundation, SAMSN, Hagar Australia, and the New York Center for Children, as well as YGAP's own accelerator programs.

So, with that all that in mind, I want to once again ask you to please donate if you can. I won’t see a cent of your money, in fact I’ve donated some of my own money towards this campaign because I think it’s the right thing to do. Because it shouldn’t hurt to be a child. You can help end violence against children, by donating money to this link:

You can help save vulnerable children from this torture, at the hands of cruel men and women. Even if you can’t afford a one-off donation, I would appreciate it if you could help spread the word either by sharing this blog, or links to the Polished Man website at PolishedMan.com. I think that together we can help to end violence against children.

I’m the Absurd Word Nerd, and until next time, I’m going to go put on a fresh coat of nail polish . . .

Saturday 23 December 2017

Last Night

25 DEC AT 2:12 AM
Evan
where are you

Deborah
sorry, I couldn't sleep. I didn't want to wake you, so I went out for a drive, to look at the Christmas lights.

Evan
we are you comign back

Deborah
Soon.

Deborah
Have you been drinking? You can barely string a sentence together.

Evan
im not old enough to drink

Deborah
lol what are you talking about?

Deborah
Lila?

Deborah
Lila, are you on Daddy's tablet?

Evan
yes

Deborah
What are you doing up? Go back to bed, sweetheart.

Evan
why is daddy on the couch

Deborah
Daddy's on the couch?

Evan
yes he's sleeping

Deborah
Maybe Daddy couldn't wait for Christmas, so he went to sit by the tree.

Evan
he's not on that couch

Deborah
Daddy's in his study?

Evan
Yeah

Deborah
I'm not going to be home for a little while, can you go back to bed, okay?

Evan
no

Deborah
No? Don't you want to wake up on Christmas morning?

Evan
I can't sleep i herd a noiss

Deborah
What kind of noise, honey?

Evan
a bang on the roof

Deborah
It was probably just the possums, sweetheart. You really should get back to sleep.

25 DEC AT 2:21 AM
Evan
it was not a possum nose it was lower it was santa

Deborah
It wasn't Santa, sweetheart. Santa already came, there are presents under the tree, remember?

Evan
may be he camw back

Deborah
It's not Santa, Lila. Trust me. Maybe it was Daddy, looking around in the kitchen.

Evan
it wasn't daddy he's very asleep

Deborah
Very asleep?

Deborah
Oh, I see . . . well, Mummy will have a talk with Daddy when she gets home.

Evan
Where are you?

Deborah
I'm out seeing a friend, Lila. Now, just go back to sleep for me, okay?

Evan
no

Deborah
Lila, do as you're told.

Deborah
It's very late, Lila.

Evan
I can't sleep

Deborah
I'm sorry, I'm coming home now to tuck you in. But, if you go lie down, you might fall asleep on your own.

Deborah
You’ll see your cousins in the morning.

Evan
I don't want to sleep I want to see santa

Deborah
LILA

Evan
look its santa

Evan

Evan

Deborah
Don't play with the camera, Lila.

Evan
santa is outside

Deborah
Lila, Santa is not outside.

Deborah
It’s late, you’re just overexcited, okay?

25 DEC AT 2:26 AM
Evan

Deborah
Go to your room.

Deborah
Lila, are you still there? GO TO YOUR ROOM

Evan
I don't want to go to sleep

Deborah
LILA PLEASE

Deborah
Go to the study, okay

Deborah
Can you go to the study for Mummy, please?

Deborah
Lila?

Deborah
Lila, are you listening to me.

Evan
im in the study alredy

Deborah
Good. Now, can you lock the door for me, sweetheart?

Evan
yew

Evan
yes

Deborah
Now, I need to make a phone call. Please be quiet for me, okay?

Evan
okay

25 DEC AT 2:29 AM
Evan
why do I have to be quite

Evan
he's banging on the roof agan

Evan
I thick santas stuck

Evan
looking for the chimmey

25 DEC AT 2:31 AM
Deborah
Okay, help is on the way, honey. Just stay there, okay?

Deborah
What do you mean by banging on the roof?

Evan
I can hear he's feet agin

Deborah
He's walking on the roof?

Evan
yes

Deborah
Okay, Lila. I'm getting in the car, but I can't type while I'm driving. Do you think you'll be okay?

Evan
okay

Deborah
Just, don't unlock the door, okay?

Evan
why

Deborah
Because it's not safe.

Evan
What about santa

Deborah
Lila, that's NOT Santa

Evan
hees lookg for the shiny

Deborah
Lila. Santa ISN'T REAL. That's not santa, that's just someone trying to break into our house!

Deborah
Now STAY IN THE STUDY, okay? I'm on my way

Evan
santa is so to real

Evan
mummy

25 DEC AT 2:43 AM
Evan
why did you sad he wasn real

Evan
you said he was but he is he said so

Evan
says he has speshal presents for me

Evan
mummy

25 DEC AT 2:47 AM
Deborah
I'm here now

Deborah
Lila?

Deborah
Lila, tell me you didn't let that man in our house.

Deborah
Lila, ANSWER ME!!!

25 DEC AT 2:53 AM
Deborah
Lila, I’m sorry

Deborah
Please, open the front door for me, honey.

Evan
What the hell is goig on?

Deborah
Lila?

Evan
No Where are you?

Evan
Did you let Lila play with my tablet?

Deborah
I’m in the driveway. Can you let me in?

Evan
Why are you texting if your home!

Evan
Get in here add help!

Deborah
I can't.

Evan
I’m not doing this. I know you can hear her crying from out there. If you want to talk to me come and help me with Lila and talk

Deborah
I can’t, I threw my key away.

Deborah
That man tried to grab it, so I threw it over the fence.

Deborah
It’s my fault Lila’s crying.

Deborah
She was watching through the door when I came home.

Deborah
She saw everything.

Deborah
Evan, PLEASE answer me.

Deborah
The police will be here soon, I need to explain what happened.

Evan
Did you tell Lila that Santa isn’t real?

Deborah
I HAD to.

Evan
On CHRISTMAS?! She says you killed Santa.

Deborah
That’s not what she means.

Evan
What kind of heartless person tells her daughter Santa isn’t real on Christmas?

Deborah
If you hadn’t been blackout drunk, none of this would have happened!

Evan
I was ASLEEP

Evan
its THREE IN THE MORNIGN

Deborah
Please, just open the door.

Deborah
Don’t be alarmed by the blood.

Evan
You’re bleeding?

Deborah
no I’m fine

Deborah
Hold on, the police are here.

Deborah
Just tell Lila that I love her and wanted to keep her safe

Deborah
and Merry Christmas

MESSAGE COULD NOT BE SENT ⚠
Evan
What? Deb, what's going on?

MESSAGE COULD NOT BE SENT ⚠
Evan
Deb, what happened?

MESSAGE COULD NOT BE SENT ⚠
Evan
Deb, what the hell did you do?!