So, the final post in this Final Halloween Countdown. I've had a lot of fun, and I wanted this to simply be a goodbye message, maybe a thank you, but I realized that I couldn't do that... because a thought was nagging at me, for a few reasons.
Firstly, in quite a few of these posts, simply because I am talking about how death "isn't the worst thing", I've added several links to google's search result for suicide, because I don't know where you're reading this from, but typing suicide into google often provides the hotlines for your local suicide hotline. I felt it was better than trying to list them all out for you.
Also, I will take this moment now to tell you that the rest of this post is going to be talking about Suicide, so this is your TRIGGER WARNING (there's also some mention of Sexual Assault). There's even some light discussion of suicide methodology, so I want you to put your mental health first and only read this if you're in the headspace for a frank discussion about the Horrors of Suicide. And if this does cause you to feel unwell or suicidal, I recommend that you reach out to a friend, or that link provided above.
Secondly, I realized that whilst I have been focusing on a natural death and coming to terms with mortality... I am choosing to end the Halloween Countdown. Heck, I even made it a plot-point in that meta-fiction post that I was "killing the blog". And so, technically, it wasn't "dying naturally", but it was in a sense committing suicide.
But thirdly, and most importantly, I found the idea of a goodbye message unsettling because when I see someone making a "celebration" of their farewell, retirement or life transition, I often get an intrusive thought: is this a grandiose suicide note? I want to state upfront that I am not suicidal, I'd argue that I'm far from it in fact—as I mentioned in that earlier post in this countdown Phobia File: Death, I'm scared of dying naturally, let alone unnaturally—but, when musicians give farewell tours, when celebrities announce their retirement, when YouTubers say that they're moving on... I mentioned in A Year to Remember how I was moved when MatPat announced his retirement from the Theorist channels. What I didn't mention is the intrusive though I had as the final days approached. The next time we hear his name, will it be because he's on the news, announced dead.
Now, this was an irrational thought. Especially in that case with a father who was leaving specifically to focus on his family and work on other projects. But, I find all kinds of death, including suicide, horrifying and so my mind does occasionally use intrusive thoughts of these to torment me. I think because I have heard of such stories in my own life. My parents told me a story of a friend they had who was an alcoholic and a very effeminate gay man (and yes both of those are relevant). After several drink-driving offenses, he lost his license and was actually to be jailed for a short time. So, he went around to his friends and had a farewell before he went to prison. But, this was actually because, as an openly gay man, he 100% believed that he would be assaulted and raped in prison, possibly killed. So, he committed suicide to avoid that fate.
I have also had friends who have killed themselves. I won't name names, and I'm lucky that this was merely a casual acquaintance. Someone I met after work. But... even though this was someone that I met at the pub and would occasionally have some interesting conversations with, I was sad to hear that he not only died, but died by suicide. I wasn't happy that he died, he was a good man; but, I was more upset to learn that I enjoyed his company more than, it seems, he enjoyed his own.
In fact, whilst one of the key issues with suicide is that it causes silent suffering, people stuck in their own heads, it means that occasionally my mind treats it less like the insidious mental health crisis that it is, and more like a social landmine. Someone you love could be suffering beneath the surface. Someone you value, whose life has made yours the better for existing, may suddenly explode and be taken from you.
All of this does unfortunately mean that whilst it is good and healthy to talk about suicide - as the best way to seek help is to reach out - I am literally the worst person to do this around because I find it disturbing to empathize with this mindset. To me it is actual insanity, and before we move on—THIS IS THE WRONG OPINION.
It's not often that I will say I am wrong, so enjoy this while it lasts... consider it my final gift for the Final Halloween Countdown "the AWN admits he's wrong":
I suffer from a phobia, an irrational fear of death. This has lead to an unhealthy obsession with death, not only my own, but also someone else's. If someone who loves and trusts you is expressing suicidal thoughts they don't need a straight jacket they need a hug... or a cup of coffee, or whatever other love language suits them (some people don't like hugs, respect their boundaries).
Whilst I am capable of understanding this logically, emotionally my mind recoils at the idea. Even writing about it in this blog post is making me very uncomfortable. If you don't understand what I mean... imagine some other phobia. Let's say you're scared of snakes, or spiders, or needles. Now, imagine someone you know and respect says to you "hey, watch this!" then grabs the thing you're terrified at the very notion of and gleefully drops it down their pants.
That may be difficult if your phobia is "heights", but I hope it brings across the point. To me, that is Wrong. Just wrong, a wrongness my brain can't wrap it's head around. Genuinely, I occasionally write cosmic horror, and to me suicidality is the perfect example of "insanity and horrors inconceivable", the idea that someone can see this existential doom... and step towards it. That is the epitome of madness, to me. My mind even occasionally threatens me with suicide. I want to make this clear, this isn't a suicidal thought, I never crave death, I do not want to die - these intrusive thoughts are naturally selected to upset me. So, I will get a thought such as "one step and you fall to your death", or "one slip of this knife, and you'll bleed out", or "turn the steering wheel now, and it's all over". Thankfully I'm in a headspace where I find these thoughts more annoying than upsetting, but when I was younger I was much more unsettled. I would put down sharp objects or step away from edges and railings because even though I would never consciously do these things I found the potential so disturbing that I didn't want to even allow the possibility.
The worst part of all of this is that it reinforces my fear of dying. My mind has created a false dichotomy: Either you're Thanatophobic, or you're Suicidal. I don't see much middle ground, even though literally everyone who doesn't suffer from either suicidality or existential death anxiety falls there on that spectrum.
Which also means that in a post where I'm talking about Suicide, I spent more time talking about my own fears than suicide itself... because the reality is that Suicide is Horrifying. Not because it's some cosmic horror form of Insanity, not because it's a landmine that steals our friends and family at random, and not because people are secretly hiding suicide notes in their fond farewells. Suicide is Horrifying because it is preventable, and when people like me don't want to talk about it, wish it would just go away and stop existing, if anything that makes it all the more inevitable. So, if you are suicidal or know someone that is, I suffer from a mental illness and I don't have the knowledge or empathy to help... but there are people out there who do. Reach out, don't suffer in silence. I don't want to talk about suicide not because you're crazy, but because I'm crazy.
Don't let my madness get in the way of your sanity.
I'm the Absurd Word Nerd, and in conclusion I think this has solidified in my mind that this blog is not committing suicide. I have exhausted it, it's done. The lifespan of any creative series is decided by its creator, but it feels natural... I want to move on, and this blog is ready to move on as well. And I guess this is an opportunity for some final words. So, here goes.
Thank you all for learning, reading and being scared alongside me for the last thirteen years and hundreds of posts, for celebrating my Birthday and Halloween and everything that comes in between. I can only hope that it meant as much to you as it did to me. Until Next Time, Goodbye from the Halloween Countdown. You reading has made it worth it.
I'm actually crying, I didn't think I would, but I am... it's the end of an era and this Halloween Countdown ultimately meant so much to me. There's more to come, but genuinely, thank you if you've read this. I'll see you on the other side.
Once again, my hundredsome milestone has coincided with my Halloween Countdown. It's an exciting time... and as soon as I saw it, I had only one idea.
I want to share more horror stories with you, but I don't always have the opportunity to write them. So, I thought it would be fun to curate some for you. So, years ago, when I first started the Halloween Countdown, I started compiling a collection of horror short films. I thought it wouldn't be too hard to find 100 films, but it turns out, I am kind of a horror movie snob [Wow(!) a guy who analyzes horror stories is a bit picky about horror stories, who knew?] so, it took me a long time to find several that I liked. In fact, I have spent the last four months trying to find the last 40 or so movies for this list, because I wanted every single one to be one that I thought were the actual best of the best out there.
And this isn't just a "hey, maybe go look for these" type of list, where you have to do homework to find the cool things I'm talking about. No, I am going to embed them all here for you to watch, right now. You can save them to watch later, but I highly recommend that you check some of these out. If you're not sure why you should check out a particular title, I'll give a little description about why I think it's awesome, as well as a little "triggers" list. These include:
Bigotry (Homophobia/Misogyny/Racism/Transphobia); Death (of Animals/of Children/Murder/Suicide/); Flashing Lights/Jumpscares; Gore (Blood/Bone/Flesh/Organs/Rot); Nudity/Sex Scenes; Violence (to Animals/to Children/Domestic/Self-harm/Sexual);
Feel free to highlight the red to see the triggers, or Ctrl+F and search for your particular trigger, if you want to either prepare yourself for them, or avoid them entirely.
I have put these vaguely in order of "least favourite to most favourite", but that's my opinion, I hope you can find a new favourite amongst them. So, without further ado, to celebrate another 100 blog posts enjoy a bit of Horror for this Halloween Countdown, I am proud to present to you...
The AWN's 100 Best Horror Short Films (That You Can Watch, RIGHT NOW)
Internet Story by AdamButcher
This starts as a mystery that could only exist online, in a video essay style, then slowly becomes a tragedy which can also only exist online... Trigger Warnings: Death (Murder);Bigotry (Homophobia);
Apt 17 by Indiego Cinema
One of the scariest thoughts can be "Am I doing the right thing?", and this short explores it in a way that builds tension with every passing second. Trigger Warnings: Date Rape implied; Violence (Domestic) implied;
Creep Box by Witchcraft Motion Picture Company
An interesting exploration of a new technology which challenges ideas of life, death, grief, memories... and the horrors of resurrection. Trigger Warnings: Death/Suicide implied;
Hysteric by Witchcraft Motion Picture Company
Filmed in one take, this tale follows two girls late at night whose mother's mind has been influenced by an alien, humming sound. Trigger Warnings: Death/of Children; Harm to Children;
The God Man by Andrew Foerster
This mockumentary is initially a cosmic mystery, but the revelations of this incredible discovery is both incredible, and potentially disturbing. Trigger Warnings: n/a;
We Got a Dog by Ryan Valdez
Morgan's boyfriend crosses a line when he buys a dog without consulting her. So, what makes this a horror story? Simple... that thing is not a dog. Trigger Warnings: Nudity;
Whistle by Superfreak Media
I listen to a lot of podcasts, so the idea of a podcast slowly revealing that you're in danger from a deadly cryptid gives me the creeps. Trigger Warnings: Jumpscare;
DOORS by High Strange TV
This has a simply premise with great execution, and its one of very few analogue horror. Have you checked all of the doors in your house, lately? Trigger Warnings: n/a;
Laura Hasn't Slept by Paramount Entertainment Australia
Stories of dreams can be overdone with surreality, but this story explores nightmares in a way that's more subtle and disturbing. Trigger Warnings: Gore (Blood, Bone, & Flesh);
The French Doors by New Zealand Film Commission
A man renovating his new house discovers a world of darkness outside of the french doors he just installed. Trigger Warnings: Violence; Death implied;
On My Way by MakeDo Entertainment
We follow a simple partygoer on Halloween, and join him as he watches the world around him starts to go completely mad. Trigger Warnings: Death (Murder) off-screen;Gore (Blood) implied;
MONSTER by Maya Films
Whilst this would inspire the feature film The Babadook, it has a different vibe, and (in my interpretation) a very different storyline. Trigger Warnings: Jumpscares;
The Knife by Holomax
A small town gets terrorized by a cursed, bloodthirsty knife. Excellent execution elevates this basic premise into a pulpy masterpiece. Trigger Warnings: Gore (Blood); excessive; Death (Murder); Violence (in General, & to Children); does pregnancy count?;
The Silvergleam Whistle by Nickel Eye Pictures
A ghost story about a haunted train turns into a horrifying adventure for a young family who decide to stay at an old motel in the woods. Trigger Warnings: Death (general, & of Children implied; Gore (Blood, & Rot); Jumpscare;
Slut by the American Film Institute
This film explores the impossible standards of the virgin-whore complex, and the deadly implications of the men who perpetuate it. Trigger Warnings: Gore (Blood); Death (Murder); Bigotry (Misogyny);
Larry by Jacob Chase
When a parking attendant finds a tablet with a strange fairytale, he becomes haunted by the twisted creature of the darkness. Trigger Warnings: Flashing Lights; Jumpscares;
I Can't Wake Up by Gnostica Productions
When a lone dreamer is trapped in his nightmares, he becomes more and more desperate to find a way to escape, and avoid the monsters in his mind. Trigger Warnings: Jumpscares; Flashing Lights;
Fragile.com by AT&T Hello Lab
A young actress struggling in love and theatre is recruited to perform for a strange website that caters to a niche set of clientele. Trigger Warnings: n/a;
Hunter's Cabin by N'cee Van Heerden
A man has fled to a secluded cabin in the woods because he has a dark secret, but his plans go awry when he discovers that he's not as secluded as he hoped. Trigger Warnings: Gore (Blood); Death (Murder);
The Whisperer by Danny Donahue
I saw so many "And Then a Monster Killed You" stories for this, it's so boring. I thought this was the same, but I was pleasantly surprised. Trigger Warnings: n/a;
Gargoyle by Michael Cusack
This sad, gothic story sees a woman mourning the loss of her beloved husband, with this emotional tale portrayed entirely in gorgeous stop-motion animation. Trigger Warnings: Word;
Harvey's Dream by Omen Bird Pictures
Can you tell a horror story with little more than two actors talking in the kitchen? With this short film, I learned that you can. Trigger Warnings: Gore (Blood);
And They Watched by Fun Size Horror
A janitor is haunted by the ghost of an executed man in this short that explores the different concepts of guilt and innocence. Trigger Warnings: Gore (Flesh); Death (Murder) off-screen;
Phone Home by Aria Jackson
Grief can be such a lonely, isolating feeling, so when Eric gets a phone-call from his late fiancée, he will do anything to bring her home. Trigger Warnings: Death; Gore (Blood); Nudity;
Teaching Jake about the Camcorder, Jan '97 by Brian David Gilbert
The inimitable BDG is very funny, but this exploration into analogue horror shows that he knows what it takes to scare you as well. Trigger Warnings: Flashing Lights;
Sleep Talker by Carl Firth
I thought I knew what this would be about, but things take a strange turn, but rather than making it silly it just becomes all the more scary. Trigger Warnings: Gore (Blood & Flesh);
The Lonely Host by Lisa J Dooley
This is really just a story of a weird, sad lady, but her character just builds and builds the tension into a crescendo of horror. Trigger Warnings: Death (Murder);
Overtime by Craig D. Foster
Ralph has been held up at work, and everything is keeping him from getting home. But he needs to get home before the full moon rises. Trigger Warnings: Gore (Blood);Death (Murder) off-screen;
Chad Gets the Axe by Travis Bible
A narcissistic streamer decides to desecrate a corpse for content (sound familiar?), but he just walked into the wrong murder cabin... Trigger Warnings: Gore (Blood);Death (Murder);
The Flying Man by Marcus Alqueres
I find the concept of Superhero Horror fascinating, and this short film explores the idea in a way that is both creepy and captivating. Trigger Warnings: Death (Murder) censored;
The Noise Next Door by Christopher Cox
This simple, but effective story combines a few different tropes together into a scary story about the danger behind closed doors. Trigger Warnings: Violence (Domestic) off-screen; Jumpscare;
The Pavement by Taylor Engel
There are a few of these stories that are truly beautiful, and this neo-noir tale of death and regret, whilst not the scariest, is dark and poetic. Trigger Warnings: Blood (Gore); Death (Murder & Suicide); Word;
Night Bus by Pia Pressure
I love this idea, the tale of a bus driver driving the late route who realizes that she's a picked up an unnatural passenger. Trigger Warnings: Jumpscares; Violence;
Special Day by Ink Run Productions
This premise does have the vibe of a two-sentence horror story, but it's a fascinating, high-concept horror used to great affect. Trigger Warnings: Word;
The Three Men You Meet at Night by Niteshift Films
The most effective horror tackles real terror, and a woman dealing with various predatory men as she travels home at night is as true as it gets. Trigger Warnings: Bigotry (Misogyny) heavily implied; Violence (Sexual) themes;
Milk by Santiago Menghini
This seemed like another "I heard it too" style horror, but this short film is so much darker and more metaphorical and surreal than that. Trigger Warnings: honestly, it's so surreal, I don't even know...
Abi's Monster by Christopher Cox
I thought this, too, was an "I heard it too" story, but it became a much deeper exploration into all of the deepest fears parents can have. Trigger Warnings: Death (of Children) it looks like one, anyway;
Progeny by AFI Conservatory
Whilst it shouldn't require such metaphors, this is an incredible and gross story about power, violence, consent and control. Trigger Warnings: Death (of Children) unborn/alien, but still; Gore (Blood & Flesh); Violence (Sexual) themes/design;
Pleasant Inn by David Romero
There's something about this animal, with minimal dialogue and dynamic movement that makes the threat here feel more inhuman and violent. Trigger Warnings: Death; Gore (Blood & Flesh);
Hello? by Hollywood Institute for Parapsychical Research
Whilst I don't usually like ghost stories, this has an interesting plot behind it, and I like both the acting and the effects in this. Trigger Warnings: Death (Suicide) discussed; Jumpscares;
Ten Shots by Gordon Shoemaker
When a local hunter sees something evil in the woods, all he has are ten bullets in his gun. Can he save anyone? Can he save himself? Trigger Warnings: Death (Murder); Gore (Blood);
Red Skies by Bret Miller
This sci-fi horror story is simple, but effective, telling the story of Earth's initial invasion and foreshadowing the doom soon to follow. Trigger Warnings: Death (of Animals) alien;
Basement by Jeffiot
This simple, short film is about a woman discovering a dangerous secret hidden within a film camera in the basement, and the subtle horror. Trigger Warnings: Flashing Lights screen flicker;
Vikaari by Synhedrion Studios
This fictional documentary is about a species of inhuman children, which seem to have evolved in response to violence. Trigger Warnings: Bigotry; Death; Gore (Blood);
The Banishing by Red Tree Pictures
This simple story of a girl haunted by a spirit becomes much more engaging with great atmosphere and interesting writing. Trigger Warnings: Death (Murder; Gore (Blood); Violence (to Children);
Fetch by Blanca Agudo Hernández
Want to make an "And Then a Monster Killed You" story fresh and interesting? Step 1: awesome cinematography. Step 2: Make the hero a dog. Trigger Warnings: Death (of Animals) implied;
Slaughterbots by The Future of Life Institute
This would be higher if not for the "PSA" at the end, but it is a genuinely creepy idea. And the message, if unsubtle, is worth hearing. Trigger Warnings: Bigotry themes/implied (heavily); Death; Gore (Blood);
Remains by Dylan Clark
This sad, dark exploration and grief and desperation is as sad as it is haunting and scary. What would a mother do to hear her dead baby again? Trigger Warnings: Death (of Chidren) themes; Flashing Lights blinking colours; Jumpscares;
The Cat with Hands by Halo Productions
A simple folk tale with some impressive effects and unsettling imagery, this story will haunt me for quite some time. Trigger Warnings: Death (to Animals & Murder);
We're Not Safe Here by Christopher Cox
I love a good campfire story, and this is one about a monster that can mimic your voice, with all the psychogical horror that it entails. Trigger Warnings: Death off-screen; Gore (Blood); Jumpscares;
Bad Boy, Oliver by Mr. Friend
This was just a really creepy story, but it also had an ending that I wasn't expecting and which made the story that much scarier, to me. Trigger Warnings: Violence (to Children);
Selfie by Digital Interference
This metaphor for the dangers of social media is elevated by incredible effects and a monster with a haunting way of hunting its prey. Trigger Warnings: Gore (Blood & Bones); Jumpscares;
SomeThing by Dan Riesser
A woman comes home to find a dead body. Has he actually killed an inhuman monster, or is he relapsing because he's off his medication again? Trigger Warnings: Death implied; Gore (Blood);
The Portrait by Cinemug
Zachary Padgett has channel full of talented filmmaking, but none if it truly captured my attention until I found this haunting story. Trigger Warnings: n/a;
The Last Time I Saw Richard by Mushroom Pictures
I came for the exploration of mental health, friendship, and mild queer themes, but stayed for the foreboding sense of helplessness and doom. Trigger Warnings: Bigotry (Homophobia) implied; Gore (Blood); Violence (to Children & Self-harm) teenagers;
Garden Party by ILLOGIC
I love the atmospheric storytelling in this story of nature taking over an abandoned mansion, as we slowly learn what happened to its occupants. Trigger Warnings: Death; Gore (Flesh);
Imaginary Friend by J. Sanchez Productions
I love a great mystery, and this story introduces a detective interested in the "monster" under her niece's bed, and what it really is. Trigger Warnings: Death (General); Gore (Blood);Violence (to Children) themes;
Audio Guide by Randominity
There's more to cosmic horror than tentacles and xenophobia, this short provides an example of how knowledge alone can be existentially disturbing. Trigger Warnings: Death (General & Suicide) themes;
Moonstruck by Telekinesis Entertainment
A simple idea (with cosmic horror roots) done in an exciting way... if you look at the moon, you will fall under its control Trigger Warnings: n/a;
Dawn of the Deaf by Shadowhouse Ltd
I love seeing different perspectives and after a sonic attack with only the deaf immune we see the struggles they face and must now overcome. Trigger Warnings: Bigotry; Death; Violence (to Children, General & Sexual);
The Hunter by Visionary Boulevard Productions
Some say the scariest monsters are human, because they're the only ones that truly exist. This short explores that with tension and drama. Trigger Warnings: Death (Murder) implied;
Pelican Milkshake by Skinner Street Films
I love the tension of a woman burying her husband being spotted by a recreational drone, forcing her to hunt down a potential witness. Trigger Warnings: Death (Domestic & General); Gore (Blood & General);
Sophie's Turn by Crypt TV
Some kids will do anything to be accepted, and it can lead to ridicule, but when demons get involved, nobody is truly safe. Trigger Warnings: Death (of Children) implied; Gore (Blood); Violence (to Children);
Everything's Fine by Rhodesclosed Productions
My opinion Trigger Warnings: Death (of Children) implied; Violence (to Children implied;
The Relic by J.M. Logan
My opinion Trigger Warnings: Death; Gore (Blood, Bones & Flesh);
Here There Be Monsters by Wanderer Films
This incredible Australian film explores themes of bullying and violence with a surreal twist, all with no dialogue and great acting. Trigger Warnings: Death (of Children) implied; Gore (Blood); Violence (to Children);
Curve by Lodestone Films
A woman awakens upon a slab of curved architecture, with no means of escape. There's also an alien/mystery elements, but I love the tension. Trigger Warnings: Death implied; Gore (Blood);
Immure by Uzong Films
I think it's clear, basic "werewolf/vampire" stories don't interest me, so this tale of a loner with a vampiric mother is fraught with drama. Trigger Warnings: Death (Murder); Gore (Blood & Flesh); Jumpscares
Storytime by Dylan Clark
MI said before, I love podcasts, and I love the way this fictional podcast starts to bleed into the reality of the listener. Trigger Warnings: Death; Gore (Blood & Bone); Jumpscares;
Other Side of the Box by Caleb J. Phillips
I enjoy a "Follow The Rules" horror stories, but they tend to be "Then a Monster Killed You" stories. Thankfully, this is not so pedestrian. Trigger Warnings: n/a, it's all tension and implication, here;
Drone by Action On The Side
Exploring the perspective of someone with a stutter, this uses sci-fi to dive deep into trauma and psychology of someone desperate to be heard. Trigger Warnings: Bigotry; Gore (Blood & Flesh) if you don't like needles...;
Stalled by Bonus Features
I like time loop stories and this one manages to be both compelling and scary with a simple, but effective mechanic. Story ain't half bad either. Trigger Warnings: Death (Murder & Suicide) discussed/depicted; Flashing Lights; Gore (Blood);
Turned by Vanishing Angle Productions
Like werewolves and vampires, zombie movies need a good twist; themes of motherhood and zombie virus hallucinations are a pretty good one. Trigger Warnings: Death (of Children) implied; Gore (Blood);
Asleep & Awake by Joshua Giuliano
This one is all about atmosphere, sound and cinematography. If you need a masterclass in tension, then this is it. Trigger Warnings: n/a it's all about the atmosphere;
All You Can Carry by London Film School
Another zombie one, but I like that this one is about a child protagonist. Seeing the world through his eyes is a whole new kind of fear. Trigger Warnings: Death; Gore (Blood);
Thingamajig by Skeleton Crew Productions
Stranded in a dimension of darkness, a man must find out how to combat the monsters in the dark. This is just a fantastic and creepy story. Trigger Warnings: n/a;
Deep End by Anthony Sellitti
The concept alone is just so creepy, a kid sneaking into a pool only to encounter an unnatural darkness beneath the surface Trigger Warnings: Death (of Children); Jumpscares;
Vicious by Oliver Park
This explores grief and anxiety as a woman is trying to come to terms with the death of her sister, as she now lives in an empty flat Trigger Warnings: Jumpscares;
Whiteout by Washington Square Films
A couple alone in a car, in a blizzard, on a road, in the middle of the woods, you encounter a sick man in the snow. What do you do? Trigger Warnings: Death (Murder);
Cream by David Firth
The creator of Salad Fingers has a lot of disturbing videos, but this weird concept is the first that has a truly compelling story to tell. Trigger Warnings: Death (of Children) discussed; Gore (Blood, Bone & Flesh); Violence (Sexual) discussed;
In Sound, We Live Forever by Joshua Giuliano
This is not only scary, but beautiful, telling the history of a crime scene in sound before becoming a more traditional horror story.
Trigger Warnings: Death (Murder); Gore (Blood & Bone); Jumpscares;
Monsters by Dreaming Ants Productions
This exploration of a dystopian world is not what you were expecting, but it builds up the drama and tension to a crescendo well worth watching. Trigger Warnings: n/a;
Caravan by Sarah Brims
During a family road trip, two Australian parents must confront one of a parents worst fears... not knowing where their children are. Trigger Warnings: Death (of Children); Gore (Blood); Jumpscares;
Somniphobia by Silver Hero Entertainment
A sleep therapist who can walk through dreams helps a woman haunted by her nightmares. But nightmares aren't always a monster under your bed. Trigger Warnings: Death omplied;Flashing Lights; Violence (Domestic) discussed/implied;
MORA by Grimoire Horror
Inspired by Loab, the cryptid that haunts AI images, this short is about a man doing everything he can to find the ghost in the machine. Trigger Warnings: Death; Gore (Blood, Bone & Flesh);
Winston by Aram Sarkisian
Whilst madness is interesting to explore, it can be done so poorly, but this excavation of a man's paranoia and obsession is unsettlingly poetic. Trigger Warnings: Death (of Animals & Murder); Flashing Lights; Gore (Blood, Bone & Flesh);
Riley Was Here by Black Poodle Productions
Another strange exploration of zombies, in a world where zombification can be cured... but infection is a high unlike any other drug. NOTE: This one appears age-restricted. I think because the main character is depicted in his underwear, the algorithm thinks this is porn or something. It isn't... but if the video below is just a grey box, click the link within the watch it on YouTube.
Trigger Warnings: Death; Gore (Blood & Flesh);
Backstroke by Robbie Barclay
Such a simple, but effective idea. A girl is skinny dipping in a lake when a strange man with unclear intentions comes upon her. Trigger Warnings: Death implied;
The World Over by Nothing Rhymes With Entertainment
Another example of a story that explores cosmic horror by revealing that there are infinite realities, just beyond your doorway. Trigger Warnings: Death (Murder & of Children again, unborn; Gore (Blood);
The Rougarou by Lorraine Caffery
This follows a girl whose father got out of prison, and we watch her growing up in the mature world of crime, gangs and violence. Trigger Warnings: Death (Murder); Gore Blood; Jumpscares;
The Sky by Matt Sears
Another cosmic horror story, this one focuses more on the drama of two friends trying to find peace before the end of the world. Trigger Warnings: Death; Gore (Blood);
The Kid and the Camera by Grumbled Ink Entertainment
A great example of analogue horror, this old kid's show becomes more unnerving and disturbing, the longer you watch it. Trigger Warnings: Death (of Children); Gore (Flesh);
Oscar's Bell by Genesis Flux Films
A father, his son, and his dog are out camping in the woods. It's a beautiful night out... but there's a monster in these woods. Trigger Warnings: Death (of Children) implied; Jumpscares;
It's Not About Fear by Shotgun Productions
As someone with a mental illness, this exploration of trauma and vulnerability hits close to home. It's both horrifying and heartbreaking. Trigger Warnings: Jumpscares; Violence (Sexual) themes/discussed;
Don't Die First by Unchained Media
I don't usually like horror comedy, but this starts off with some campy 80s fun, messing with tropes. But it doesn't shy away from true horror... Trigger Warnings: Bigotry (Racism); Death;
The Facts in the Case of Mister Hollow by Rue Morgue Cinema
The second instance of a horror both scary and beautiful, but this also has hints at a mystery. Can you solve it before your time is up? Trigger Warnings: n/a this is all music and (mostly) still images;
Maggie May by Make Trouble Films
You are going to HATE this character... that's the point of this film and it's disturbing, but it has a strong message about right and wrong. Trigger Warnings: Death (of Children); Gore (Blood);
Portrait of God by Dylan Clark
Yet more cosmic horror. Despite watching hundreds of cosmic horror films, few captivated me in its religious horror like this short piece. Trigger Warnings: n/a;
The Disappearance of Willie Bingham by Guerin Group Films
In a world with a cruel and unusual form of capital punishment, criminals aren't executed, they just disappear... Trigger Warnings: Gore (Flesh);
There's a Man in the Woods by Jacob Streilein
Why is this animated "slam poem" the last on the list? Because I get shivers down my neck every single time I watch it. Trigger Warnings: Death (of Children); Flashing Lightsflickering images; Gore (Blood);
— — —
So, that's my list. I hope you enjoyed it. If there's a short film you like which isn't on this list, feel free to include it in the comments below. But, after watching over 500 films, I think I watched it and excluded it for one reason or another... but this is my opinion, feel free to share what you want.
I'm the Absurd Word Nerd, and Until Next Time, I'm glad we got to watch a movie together before the end... we only have three posts left for this Final Countdown, there's not a lot of time left, so I'm glad we got to spend this time together. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow.
We live our lives taking each second for granted, but what would you do if you knew how much time you had left? Unus Annus. One Year...
If you understand that reference, then I hope you were one of the ones who was there at the very end. I still remember it, and it's something I don't think I'll ever forget. However, if you don't understand it, then you likely never truly will, but I'll do what I can to help you understand.
On the 15th of November, 2019, Mark "Markiplier" Fischbach, and Ethan "CrankGameplays" Nestor, together created and uploaded the first videos to a YouTube channel called Unus Annus, which had a simple premise...
This channel, much like all of you, has a limited amount of time, and every day we march ever closer to this channel's inevitable doom. That means we'll be uploading every single day, until the clock strikes zero. And then it's game over. Bye-bye. Finito. Finished. Curtains. Gone gone. Night-Night. Dead. Forever...
But this wasn't just a year of daily uploads. After the year was over, on the 15th of November, 2020, they deleted the channel and with it all of the videos they made throughout the year. My appreciation for this channel should be obvious, because they had a consistent motto for the entire channel's run... Memento Mori, which the duo translated as "Remember that you have to die".
It's exactly what I'm trying to do. Also, almost every episode ended with the ticking clock counting down for the end of the year and I do love a good countdown...
Now, I appreciate the way this channel inspired the die-curious to explore acceptance of mortality and letting go among the general public, and as a horror author I like how often this channel dipped into dark comedy and gallows humour. But, as much as I'm talking about this in a vaguely pretentious way, don't be mislead, this channel wasn't high-minded. For one thing it was called "unus annus" because it was meant to last one year. Such smart, big clever. Also, it wasn't like all of the videos were about death and grief.
The channel had videos about cooking with sex toys; ghost hunting; nude painting, and painting on nude bodies; drinking each other's pee; staring contests; goat yoga; cheese-making; axe-throwing in your own backyard; trolley problems and so many memes; getting tasered and pepper sprayed; simulating birth pains; pillow forts; mad libs; failing at multiple tasks; masochism; word salad & much more...
But, as silly as these ideas are, don't go thinking they were disposable. Every one of these videos was one that the creators wanted to make, and they were so often well made. They were so well edited, with music and graphics, and occasionally there were videos that were entire skits, or documentaries, with pretty high production value. They put in a year's worth of effort... then deleted it all.
But, if anything, that was sort of the point.
Yes, they occasionally dealt with the spooky and the morbid, but the show wasn't "about" death, it was about life. It was about enjoying life and creating memories. Also, whilst it was never their plan and it made creation more difficult, the Covid-19 pandemic and quarantine played a big part in the channel. It was a time of a lot of death and fear was overtaking the world, which was apt to the theming, but it also played into the reality of life that you can't plan for everything, sometimes things go wrong. Your life could change for the worse, and you could die at any moment... And most importantly, when it's over, you can let it go.
My favourite video, because of the pure artistry involved in it, was one from the very last fortnight, The Truth of Unus Annus, where the channel came to accept its own demise...
It's time... Time's up. It's been quite a year, hasn't it? And now it's over... What are you talking about? We've got all year, we've got so much time, it's a year! We've got all the time in the world... right? That is... Wrong. I'm afraid that's very wrong. A year is many things to many people, but it's not forever. No, that can't be right. We had all year. I mean, you can do so much in a year - we have done so much in a year. Okay, maybe we didn't spend every second wisely. But if we just had a little......more time. Just a little more to make the channel what it really could be. This year is not what we planned for, at all, it was all over the place and it was completely out of control. If we just have a little more time, and we're given one last shot, we can really... NO. There are no second chances. There are no do-overs. You had your one year and you did the best you could. That's all we can ever really hope for. Fucking bullshit!Just want a little more time... Just a little more FUCKING TIME! No. Many have begged. Many have pleaded. None have succeeded. Some have more, Some have less.You had one. And now it's over. It's finally time to accept the truth. It's time to say goodbye. Memento Mori...UNUSANNUS
As silly as this is, it truly moved me, because whilst I think you need to have experienced the channel to truly understand the purpose behind it all, I think this encapsulated the kind of self-denial that leads to why we need Memento Mori in the first place. Even with such a short deadline as one year, we can still delude ourselves into thinking that it will be enough. That we have more time... but, we don't. Eventually it will be over, and now Unus Annus is over, and all we have left are the memories.
Okay, that's not entirely true. If you want a glimpse, you can find some funny compilations online of some of the nonsense that Ethan and Mark got up to, and they're very enjoyable. Also, if you look hard enough you can find a lot of Unus Annus videos online... but, I don't recommend that you do.
It isn't the same. And that's not just nostalgia. I mean genuinely the fact that it still exists means that it's not the same, it defeats the purpose. After the channel was deleted, Ethan said that whilst he didn't feel "okay", it was a good thing, it was grief because of how much the project had done... but Mark said that, when people asked him "why would you create a year-long project just to delete it?" his answer was, it will make sense when it's over.
And it's true. So much on the internet lasts forever, and it can give the illusion of infinite creation and growth. It gives the illusion of immortality. And even if you weren't there to experience it, that's also a part of it... you can watch video essays and meme compilations of people remembering what it was like to experience. That is part of what it all meant. The loss is part of it.
I was there on the final day, when the channel was deleted, during the final livestream. They deleted the video and the livestream cut out. It almost didn't feel real, so I visited their channel and to my surprise all the videos were still there... but this was just a technical glitch. I clicked on one of the videos, and it took me to an error screen. This last remnant was just a shadow of the channel. When I refreshed the page, it too was empty. Blank. Gone.
It was an odd feeling, because I had wondered if this was all just a marketing stunt, if they'd turn around and say "Time for Duos Annus, baby!" But, that's not what happened... it was actually over. And that's when it did all make sense. Having to come to grips with that feeling was uncomfortable, but ultimately it meant that Unus Annus, to me, became more than just the sum of its parts. It was a moment, and whilst I grieved its loss, I felt better for having been a part of it.
Y'know, there's only really one other time I've felt like that, and it was also on YouTube. I don't know if I talk about it much, but I am an avid fan of all of the Theorist channels... Game Theory, Film Theory, Food Theory & Style Theory.
I actually started watching them from the very start. Twelve years ago, at time of writing. I started with the video about the Dark Secret of the Companion Cube from Portal, and I was hooked. I watched through all of the videos, and I loved it! I love silly, but informative educational content like that, and I became a dedicated fan. I've seen every video that they've ever released... (all except for GT Live, but that's because I don't like livestreams, especially ones over an hour long).
So, when Matthew "MatPat" Patrick announced his retirement, in Goodbye Internet, I was genuinely moved. I never realized until that moment how much the Theory channels were a big part of my life, but they were. I felt the same, that same loss, that same realization that the end was here. It actually brought me to tears. I didn't expect it, but I was grieving at this loss. And the Theory channels weren't even over! They were just changing, and I am still a fan of them now, but this was something that I'd become used to and never expected. I know it may seem silly that a 30-year-old man would cry because his favourite Youtuber was quitting but it was a big part of my life that I had become accustomed to, and I was sad that it was over.
Game Theory did that. Unus Annus did that as well. The Halloween Countdown is doing it too... For me at least. The Halloween Countdown gets some pretty steady views, but I don't think it's an "institution" for anyone except me. If I'm wrong, feel free to leave a comment.
- 𖦹 -
Whilst not everyone was there to experience these things, and I don't know if anyone could ever do something like it ever again, I'm glad that this was a part of my life. I'm not sad that it's over, I'm just happy that I was there while it lasted...
