The Absent Philosophy of Vulcans

I have been watching Star Trek recently. Long-story short, even though Star Trek: Deep Space Nine is my favourite Star Trek show, I realized that I haven’t actually seen the ending. But, before watching that, I also realized that I hadn't actually seen the ending of some of the other shows we own, including Star Trek: Enterprise, and since that comes "first" in chronological order, I decided to catch up with that, first, then I watched Star Trek: Discovery.

I mention all of this because after watching all of Star Trek: Enterprise, most of Star Trek: Discovery, and now I'm half-way through Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, I rediscovered and reconfirmed a conclusion that I came to a while ago:

Vulcans are Completely Illogical.

For those of you that don't know——or do know and would appreciate a refresher——Vulcans are a fictional species of aliens in the Star Trek universe, who have some mild alien characteristics such as angry eyebrows, pointy ears, green blood and stupid haircuts. But their main facet is that, socially, their entire culture is dictated by an adherence to logic, and consequently the avoidance of emotions.

To a Vulcan, to be logical is to be unemotional and to be emotional is to be illogical.

This is an interesting character trait and whilst I am going to spend the majority of this blogpost explaining why I hate it and it's stupid, I want to start by saying:

Writers are not Experts. One of the reasons why Vulcans aren’t logical is because the people writing the show are not logicians or philosophers. Personally, I think that this is a disregard for narrative responsibility, but I also understand that not everyone has my views when it comes to authorial ethics. So, it's understandable that a regular TV show whose goal was one of "social allegory" got stuff wrong sometimes, since with this science-fiction show, their goal wasn't science, but fiction.

They don’t know everything about science, nature, chemistry, physics or, of course, philosophy and logic, so they make mistakes sometimes. Most of the time that doesn’t matter, and sometimes it does.

I’m not here complaining about Vulcans because I think it’s “bad writing” or “bad acting”. Whilst I freely admit that I am of the opinion that the show would be better if the Vulcans actually were portrayed logically, I’m also aware that it’s because I’m a persnickety, little pedant. I don’t “hate” Star Trek because Vulcans are illogical, I just find it mildly annoying.

And hey, maybe you don't even understand what I'm talking about. Maybe you've seen Star Trek and think that Vulcans are a pretty logical bunch, which can be both a benefit and a detriment. Well, allow me to explain why I disagree. To begin with, I not only consider myself a philosopher, but I had two years of "Philosophy and Reason" in school, including formal logic, religion, philosophy and debate, as well as over a decade of continued self-directed learning to consolidate my own philosophies and beliefs. So, I'm not simply coming at this as a Star Trek Geek, but a Philosophy Nerd.

All that said, allow me to explain this, as logically as I can... But my problem is threefold:

1. Vulcans are Bad at Logic.

First things first, from the many shows I have seen, Vulcans are rude. In Enterprise, T'Pol often speaks ill of humans, to their face and she isn't alone. In Star Trek: Voyager, the main emotion that Tuvok displays is one of annoyance. And there are few Vulcans on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, but those that exist are either socially inept or deliberately antagonistic. Whilst I don't enjoy the original series, from what I've seen of Spock he often displays a whole lot of arrogance.
And for the record, I'm not talking about being blunt, or matter-of-fact. Vulcans often regard emotions as trivial and unimportant, but worse they often talk down to people. Sometimes outright belittling others for failure, dismissing someone for being inadequate, or acting passive-aggressive to anyone that doesn't agree with them.

I feel it's self-evident that being rude to your workmates is illogical, but allow me to provide evidence just to illustrate my point. If you insult or antagonize a coworker, they will have an emotional bias against you and so working with them will become more difficult. I am sure that Vulcans believe they are superior, but constantly saying that to other people makes no sense unless you're insecure (an emotion, *gasp*).

Also, in several of the shows, the Vulcans are presented as having deeply held beliefs of spiritualism and tradition——to which, first, I am simply going to mention the word 'RELIGION'; casually place it beside the word 'LOGICAL'... stare at the two confused for a moment, before pushing them aside dismissively and moving on.

I am willing to forgive some of the spiritualism because, although souls don't exist in real life they do in Star Trek (Vulcans call it katra and store it in people and stones; Starfleet calls it bio-neural energy and it can control people when it is detached from a body, etcetera...). So, unlike in real life, spiritualism is "accurate", but, their adherence to tradition makes no sense as tradition is a custom or belief repeated for its own sake because of either appeal to popularity or history, both of which are fallacies. I'm talking about rituals like "those who enter the temple must accept the gift of the stone of J'Kah" or "if a Vulcan female doesn't want to be married, she must choose a challenger to fight her intended husband to the death". Or, things like the pon farr, apparently Vulcans go into "heat" every seven years and must deal with this through sex or violence.
That in and of itself is an interesting plot point and that's fine, but the Vulcans consider this whole experience shameful and embarrassing... it's considered a cultural taboo. But, WHY?! Sex is necessary for the propagation of the species, it's not logical to keep such a thing secret. But more importantly, taboo is an entirely emotional concept, because the whole idea of taboo is "we don't talk about this because it makes us feel uncomfortable", even though COMFORT is an EMOTION!

Some of this is from one-off plots that make for an interesting story, and cares little for canon, but one potential explanation is that some episodes explain that Vulcans aren't actually emotionless, they're actually kind of "emotionful". They have deep, volatile, passionate emotions, but because these strong emotions lead to civil and global conflict in their history, the Vulcan society reformed itself around the ideals of logic and purging of emotion.

You might think this resolves the issues I'm pointing out, but I'd argue it only explains a few, whilst creating myriad more issues. The fact that all Vulcans are constantly feeling emotions, but suppressing them, means that it makes no sense any time that a Vulcan acts "confused" with the emotions of others or lacking in emotional intelligence. If anything, they should have high emotional intelligence and awareness, because Vulcans should have felt ALL of the emotions in order to deal with each one as it arises.

This can explain some of the traditions/taboos and rituals, as these are just examples of the Vulcans failing at suppressing their emotions. That makes sense, people fail sometimes... but I still hate it for a reason that matters a lot to me, but it's admittedly my weakest point of argument: I think that this is simply less interesting.

"A Culture Dictated by Logic" is damned fascinating, when I heard about the idea, I was intrigued to see what kind of world Vulcan was, and how they operate as a society. But then they just repeat the exact same stuff every other culture has——religion, weird marriage practices, hierarchical political structure——but they occasionally mention the word 'logic'. But it just makes it lame. So much of our society is dictated by emotion, and it's so illogical that stand-up comedians will never run out of material for joke about "look at how stupid this thing we do is". Don't get me wrong, I also like laughing at how stupid we are... but imagine what a society would be like that never made illogical mistakes.

Consider this... I was interested when I saw that Vulcans have "arranged marriage" because whilst I think it's outdated on Earth, in a long-lived culture that downplays emotion and only gets horny once every seven years it made sense to me. But, when I then learned that wives "belong to their husbands" and they "fight over them", that just ruined the whole idea. Objectification isn't logical, it requires superiority and dehumanization (devulcanization? ...I think that happens to rubber), philosophies built on hatred. And then, there's taboos against extra-marital affairs.

But, extra-marital affairs are only wrong because they can harm the social cohesion of a couple and hurt people's feelings. But Vulcans aren't meant to be driven by their feelings... surely genetic diversity is more important than "but T'krell fucked Surlak". If anything, the only purpose of marriage, or any form of socio-sexual pairing on Vulcan, would be to limit inbreeding.

Heck, why even have marriage at all? That's just anthropocentrism, so what if on Vulcan "marriage" was just "mating" which began at conception and lasted during adolescence whilst a child requires milk and direct parenting, and fathers support mothers who must nurture and nourish the child? Then, once they start going to school all adults in that town became responsible for children (just as they are responsible for each other). That makes logical sense to me, since there's no need for familial ties after their biological needs are met, and a logical society would see the need to support all children, regardless of their parentage.
I am not saying that it should be that exactly, but that is just one example of potentially thousands of ways that a society would be changed by operating with logic and without emotion. Wouldn't that be more interesting than "exactly like us, but with pointy ears and dramatic plotlines"?

2. Vulcans represent Logic Incorrectly.

Vulcans often don't succeed at their ideals, but that is understandable, right? After all, there are many human societies that strive towards goals, but fail. Social media was designed to make it easier to keep in touch with people and have fun, and now people feel more isolated and stressed than ever. Hell, the notions of Capitalism were initially proposed to help the poorer people and to give the average citizen more freedoms, yet instead it's hobbled social mobility, raised income inequality, gutted social benefits programmed and, ultimately, lead to more sickness and suffering.

But here's the problem. Sometimes Vulcans are bad at logic, sure. But even when they're "good" at logic, they're bad at logic. Let me explain...

It all started with Star Trek: Voyager, because I hadn't seen the original series at that point. This was the first time I'd watched a show with a Vulcan as part of the main cast, so I thought that Tuvok seemed like an interesting character.

Occasionally he had some useful insight, but I noticed that on many occasions, he was outright rude, as discussed above, but I managed to justify that. My headcanon was that Vulcans aren't as good at suppressing emotions as they say they are and I moved on. But then I started to notice that even when Tuvok displayed his logical aptitude, he was still, often, proven wrong. Heck, the show even seems to delight in showing that Vulcans are wrong. I will always remember (because it annoyed me that much) one particular scene that illustrates all of this perfectly. You can watch the actual clip here (assuming Paramount hasn’t taken it down), but I want to talk about it in detail, so I'm going to transcribe it below:

in one episode of Voyager (Season 2, Ep.6: "Twisted") an “inversion field” is causing the ship to distort and we are told that it is causing rooms and corridors to rearrange, and partway through, this scene occurs...

[VOYAGER, corridor, Interior] In this scene TUVOK, a Vulcan, and CHAKOTAY, a Human, are heading towards the Bridge but are lost, due to the distortions. TUVOK and CHAKOTAY walk to a T-intersection in a corridor. CHAKOTAY attempts to continue walking, but TUVOK stops at the intersection.

TUVOK
(gesturing) I believe we should go this way, commander.

CHAKOTAY
(confused) Wh-what makes you say that?

TUVOK
If we are indeed trapped in some sort of labyrinth, then the logical course is to systematically eliminate all routes which do not lead us to our desired destination. The route that remains will be the correct one. Since we have been making a series of right turns, we should continue to do so, until we are certain that this path is not the proper one.

CHAKOTAY
(scratches ear) There’s a flaw in your logic.

TUVOK
How so, Commander?

CHAKOTAY
You’re assuming there’s a logical pattern to this maze we’re caught in, but so far I haven’t seen any evidence of that. 

TUVOK
Even within chaotic systems, there is a pattern of limited predictability.

CHAKOTAY
By the time we figure that pattern out, these distortions may have completely overrun the ship.

TUVOK
That is a possibility.

CHAKOTAY
The important thing is for at least one of us to make it back to the bridge. So, why don’t you go your way, and I’ll go mine, that way we’ll increase the chances that one of us will be successful?

TUVOK
As you wish, Commander.

The two separate, and we follow CHAKOTAY as he walks down the corridor. Moments later, TUVOK re-enters the corridor, ahead of Chakotay, from the right, both shocked at their convergent paths.

CHAKOTAY
Tell me something, Tuvok. What does your logic tell you about navigating a maze that’s constantly changing shape?

TUVOK looks around in speechless confusion.

This pisses me off for several reasons, so I'm going to break them down, one by one, in order:

1. There is a flaw in Tuvok's logic, but Chakotay doesn't find it. If you are indeed in a labyrinth, then eliminating wrong paths will necessarily find the right one, that's a logical certainty.
   The actual flaw in his logic is his premise that they are, in fact, in a labyrinth. If instead they are in a trap, or (since this is a natural phenomenon) less a hedgemaze and more a bramble patch, then there's no reason to assume that there is an accessible path to their goal, this could be inescapable.
2. Chakotay's "flaw" is even more flawed. He uses two fallacies, both anecdotal evidence "so far I haven’t seen any evidence of that" and a clear argument from ignorance to claim that the maze could be irrational, but I'd argue there's plenty of evidence that there's some logical pattern:
   i. The effect is a natural phenomenon, so it is bound by natural law.
   ii. Physics and Time aren't noticeably distorted.
   iii. The corridor flows "cleanly", as there's no sharp divisions and it doesn't flip upside down, so there's some consistency behind this effect, it's not irrational.
3. Thirdly, Tuvok's reply is also certainly correct: you can find some order in chaotic systems——that was, in fact my point as to why Chakotay was flawed.
4. In response, Chakotay uses another fallacy, an appeal to emotion, effectively arguing: "We may run out of time before you find this pattern, and die!"
5. Chakotay doesn't actually explain what methodology he is using. He simply says "you go your way, and I’ll go mine" without explaining what "my way" means, which is a fallacy since he's conveniently forgetting that they might die if they try it his way too. I believe this is the fallacy of "incomplete evidence", he's ignoring the evidence that he, too, is probably wrong!
6. When they part and eventually re-encounter one another, Chakotay asks "What does your logic tell you about navigating a maze that’s constantly changing shape?", and then Tuvok acts completely flummoxed, but I don't see why.
   

   [Author's Note: Arguably, Tuvok's path was better than Chakotay's since he reached the next intersection faster. But this was just bad choreography, Tuvok should have walked in from the left, because then he would have had to turn right, and walked into Chakotay's path backwards, showing that his method had sent him the wrong way (and proving that the maze is actually illogical).
   But even if you had changed the script so that their re-encounter was truly illogical, Tuvok should not have acted so shocked.]

   See, Tuvok's "keep turning right" idea is actually a maze-solving algorithm, called the Hand-on-wall Rule, and it does work, but only on "simply connected" mazes where the destination is on an exterior wall. It clearly wouldn't work for a shifting maze, but... there are several maze-solving algorithms. So the answer to Chakotay's question isn't to stare around, dumbfounded. It is to use something like the Pledge algorithm:
   "If the shape is changing, then we cannot rely on this method to navigate. Instead of following a turning rule, we should treat the bridge like North on a compass, and divert from that direction only to bypass obstacles."

Some of this is because of bad writing, especially that fallacy cascade from Chakotay, but writers don't see scenes like this as a flaw, but a feature. Like I said in the beginning, Writers are not Experts, so they don't understand logic properly, but they are using scenes like this to prove that emotion is superior to logic.
This is known as the Straw Vulcan trope. If you're unaware, simply put, writers feel like logic is cold and heartless so they are biased towards supporting the way they choose to live by showing how emotion is better than logic...

However, due to the Dunning-Kruger effect, they are incapable of recognizing just how wrong that belief is. Logic, Reason and Skepticism are some of the best means of problem solving that humanity has devised. The only way to prove that logic fails is by failing to have logic, or by allowing luck and happenstance (i.e. writer appeal) to give logic an unfair handicap, and put emotion on top like a putting a paper crown on your head and declaring yourself king.

This is what I mean when I say that I think the show would be better if the Vulcans actually were portrayed logically, because the only reasons these Vulcans fail is because the writers don't know just how incredible a lifelong logician would be!

It would mean that every ship would have a Sherlock Holmes style thinker, who would be able to provide great insight into any problem they face.

Now you might think this would make the show "boring" because then the Vulcan would solve every problem. I think that the reason why Spock was half-Vulcan was because the writers thought having a full-blooded Vulcan on the ship was overpowered, so they watered him down to make him error-prone. But I think this misses the reality that logic is reliant upon Data (not the android trek nerds, I mean information!), Logic can work a lot like mathematics, it's theoretically perfect, but in practice if you put in the wrong numbers, you will get the wrong answer.

So, consider if you had a Vulcan Ensign who had a lot of logic, but zero experience. They would be able to provide perfectly logical solutions, but because they don't know how most things work, they would have to rely only their peers to collect enough data to make a sound deduction. Tuvok provided a perfect example in that scene above. His logic was perfect, absolutely sound, a maze-solving algorithm would solve any maze... but they weren't in a maze. He relied upon a false premise. The rest of the scene is bullshit, but Vulcans aren't magic solution-generating machines. Any Vulcan is prone to such mistakes, you don't have to break logic to prove that, you just need to throw in a little "human error" ...so to speak.

3. Emotions are Logical

I'm not actually writing this piece because I want people to write better Vulcans on Star Trek. That would be nice, sure, but I'm writing this because I personally feel like this is a symptom of a much larger issue... that is the misrepresentation of an ideology. And not just any ideology, but logic and rationality. There are several beliefs and ideologies that I consider vital to my personhood. They not only define who I am, but improve my life immeasurably. Those are:

Absurdism (an extension of Nihilism); Atheism (agnostic atheism, to be precise); and——most relevant to today's post——Skepticism (an extension of Rationality).

Yet, for some reason, all three of these are often misrepresented in culture and media.

I won't go into all of that, because I think there are enough Atheists fighting the good fight to show how religion is not a force for good. Also, whilst it annoys me I understand the Nihilism thing because there are some denominations of Nihilism that I find distasteful.

But I will focus on Rationality, because I feel like it is the least deserving of this misrepresentation. See, Vulcans create this false dichotomy of emotion/logic. You either have emotion or you have logic. In fact, the highest form of logic that Vulcans seek is the purging of even vestigial emotions, so that all that is left behind is logic.

But even when the character isn't Vulcan... when a character is a scientist and shown as being "so focused on science that they become cold and inhuman", or when dealing with computers——hell, I have a whole blog post explaining how people misunderstand the actual threat posed by computers, robots and artificial intelligence. But the reason why people fear computers is because they have logic without emotions... But that is literally impossible!

Because of the Is-Ought Problem.

First discussed by Scottish philosopher David Hume, the Is-Ought Problem is simply this: You cannot draw ethical or judgmental conclusions from purely factual arguments.
Or, to put it another way... it is impossible to make a claim about what you "ought" to do, if all you are stating is what "is"; hence, the name.

It may seem really silly, but I need you to follow me for this example, because it's vital to understanding this philosophical concept.

If ALL YOU KNOW is:
1. Your Dog is sleeping on a pillow, AND
2. That pillow will explode in 30 seconds and kill that dog.
What must you do?

You may instinctively say "Well, I'd save them!", and that's a noble desire, but it's impossible, because why would you do that?

Obviously it's because you don't want them to die, but that's something you know, meaning in that scenario:

YOU KNOW:
1. Your dog is sleeping on a pillow
2. That pillow will explode in 30 seconds.
3. You don't want your dog to die.

In order to change this situation, you need to add another premise. But not just any premise... you didn't add "the pillow is made of cotton", or "the dog is snoring softly", you didn't add any more descriptive, factual statements, because none of those help to save the dog. You needed to add in a statement about desire and goals.

This is the Is-Ought problem. No matter what "IS", the only way you can rationally reach any decision to act is by adding in a separate "OUGHT", Is does not create Ought. This is important in understanding philosophical arguments relating to ethics, but it is important also in understanding logic in general.
Because to me, the Is/Ought Problem is really the "Objective/Subjective" problem. You can make as many objective statements as you want, but in order to inspire action you need some subjective quality.

Because "ought" is inherently a subjective trait. Objectively, what "Is" is simply what is, it exists. In order to change that, you must have what is and a desire for it to change. Some desire, some want, some drive...
And desire? hey... that's one of them there "emotions", isn't it? Even if you pretend it is not "desire" but simply a preference, a predilection, then I would point out that it is impossible to prefer to do something that you have no desire to do, because these words are equivalent, at least in an emotional, subjective sense.

If a Vulcan genuinely purged all of their emotions, what would happen next?
Honestly, I think they would die. Why would they continue breathing? They may breathe thoughtlessly, many do. I'm sure they would sleep if they managed to live that long, because that's often not a conscious decision, but why would they continue eating?
See, without reason, you would have no need, desire, or intent to keep on living. Yes, it would "hurt", but if you have no desire to stop feeling pain, you would die.
It's not even suicide, as you wouldn't "want" to die either, you'd simply not enact any of the necessary actions required to live, since you'd have no reason to.

At least if they died then they would have achieved pure, emotionless objectivity because a dead body is the object we become when our subjective experience is lost.

That is the only logical conclusion to a strict, emotionless, logic-centric existence.

So, the key reason why Vulcans are not Logical is because they continually espouse this belief that they ought to purge their Emotions and become purely Logical. However, the desire to be logical is predicated on a preference for logic over emotion, which is a paradox as preference is inherently emotional.

Especially because they don't simply tout logic, but "reason", even though reason, rationale and rationality are all predicated upon having some goal, some desire, or some principle that drives your decisions, which requires more of those pesky, subjective values and desires.

I think, for Star Trek, this is an easy fix. Vulcans shouldn't want to purge emotions, they should want to purge bias. By definition, by having reason they have some desires and goals. And perhaps Vulcans (being emotional) decide to suppress and do everything they can not to act upon emotions, as this would bias themselves and others. However, because society and ideology is complicated, perhaps some Vulcans go so far that they try to eliminate "opinion", leading to this potentially catatonic state of emotionless, objective logic, which some tout as the highest calling of a Vulcan and others see for the stupidity it is.

- - -

I'm the Absurd Word Nerd, and Until Next Time, as you can see there is so much potential here. It was lost because it was written by writers, and not by philosophers. And for someone like me that's both, it leaves me wanting more. Because I believe that there's very few situations you can write yourself into that you can't write yourself out of. That is, of course, assuming that a solution is something you desire.
In any Case, I am left with only one conclusion:

Vulcans ⇒ ¬Emotional
Logical ⇒ Emotional
∴ Vulcans ⇒ ¬Logical

Torture in Fiction: An Editorial about Authorial Ethics

I wrote a blog post a few years ago analyzing and critiquing torture. I highly recommend that you check it out if you need more context, but the ultimate conclusion of that post is that it has been definitively proven, psychologically, philosophically, and scientifically: Torture Doesn't Work.

But I ended the post talking about how one of the leading factors that convinces people of its efficacy is fiction. I even said, and I quote:

"The only possible benefit of torture as a form of interrogation is that it sometimes makes anti-heroes seem more dramatic[...]"

——The Absurd Word Nerd (2018), Enhanced Interrogation Critiques

Because although torture doesn't work, in fiction it is incredibly effective. The bad guys use it to show just how immoral they are, and manage to find the secret information that the heroes never wanted them to know. Or, in stories that juggle a kind of moral gray area, especially starring anti-heroes, it shows just how far the hero is willing to go to stop these villains.

The only time I've seen torture not work in fiction is when the person being tortured is a meant to be superhumanly masculine, patriotic, intelligent, dangerous or (occasionally) insane for the torture to work on them. And even then, if the victim is a hero we will occasionally have their friends rushing to save them not only to stop them from being injured and potentially killed but because they "don't know how much longer they can hold out", as though torture is slowly breaking them down and they will eventually reveal the truth if they're tortured for long enough.

But, why is this? Well, I think it's because it's narratively satisfying.

Whether it's the villain torturing the hero, or the hero torturing the villain, there's a great deal of dramatic and emotional tension (and potential horror) built into the concept of hurting someone to either receive or withhold information relevant to the plot. There's that potential "crossing of the line" of morality, showing the torturer going beyond the realm of what is justifiable, and there's also the potential to empathize with either the suffering hero, or the poor villain.

And so, whilst I think it's disgusting that people perpetuate the myth of torture as an "effective interrogation method", as a writer I understand why writers do this.

However, I think that fiction portraying torture as effective is unethical.

In my post about True Crime, the Ethics of the Truth, I mentioned that I have a lot to say about the storytelling ethics, and this isn't that post but it sure as hell is a big aspect of that philosophy. Because a fundamental ideology I have when it comes to fiction is that you should Always be Honest.
You don't have to tell the Truth, I'm talking about Fiction after all, it's almost entirely lies. But, I believe that storytellers, fiction-writers, novelists, and poets have a responsibility to make sure that they are not misleading their readers with the kinds of lies they tell. Art, including Stories, is a big part of culture and if fiction spreads certain ideas that are untrue it can negatively impact society.
As I mentioned in my post Don't Watch Me, I'm Awesome, we learn from media, even when it's not educational, because it can expose us to ideas that we're not familiar with. I was discussing the things I learnt from kid's shows as a child but it's still true for adults and it can be more insidious...
When I say that fiction spreads untrue ideas, I'm obviously not talking about the dragons and the sci-fi spaceships. That doesn't spread because a reasonable person knows that this is untrue. I'm talking about the subtler implications, ideas and ideologies that fiction can teach us (both deliberately and accidentally).
Even though most people know that Mexico isn't actually yellow, the fact that most films seem to use a yellow filter for Mexico can make it seem unhealthy, polluted, cheap or unnaturally foreign, especially if you've never visited the country.
Even though writers used to kill off their gay characters first because of strict codes of conduct, or because they didn't know what else to do with them, lack of queer characterization made gay people seem like they were nothing but their sexuality.
Even though you and I know that Klingons and Ewoks don't exist, whenever these shows portray an entire alien races like some homogenous monoculture, it does perpetuate beliefs in racial essentialism, as though your race defines who you are.

So, of course, for issues like torture, it's very unlikely for people to experience it in real life meaning that people tend to believe what they see on television, since writers must know more about it than the audience, right? ...RIGHT?!

So, what can we do about it. I believe it's unethical to portray torture as effective, but clearly not everybody does (or we wouldn't be in this mess), so what's the solution?

Well, to me, it's simple. As I said before, I understand why writers use it. It's dramatic, it's intense, it shows that the heroes/villains will cross the line to achieve what they set out to do and to me there's a perfect way for writers to include something this dramatic without perpetuating the belief that torture works...

The Deal with the Devil
Instead of torturing a captured villain, what if your characters were forced to work with them? To negotiate with these villains to get the truth out of them. They're villains after all, so it forces our heroes to bring themselves down to their level. They will need to either find a way to empathize with them and find out what it is that they desire, so they can offer it to them or if they're more difficult it may require some kind of psychoanalysis. I can even see a battle of minds like a high-stakes poker game where through dialogue the hero is trying to figure out the villain's tell, so they decipher what it is that matters to them the most, to use in their negotiations. And hey, if you really want to make things dramatic... simply make it that the one thing the villain wants in exchange for their help is something the hero would never do under any other circumstances.
This also works from the opposite side. What if the hero is captured by the villain and they offer the hero exactly what they want? If this is your story, you know your hero. You know what makes them tick. What if the enemy knows their deepest, darkest desire and offers it to them, for the price of their success...

And there's obviously then a whole lot of tension because the hero would need to find some balance of what they're willing to sacrifice. Are they willing to let the villain go, just for their information? Are they willing to give the enemy help, to finally achieve their deepest desires? What will they offer? What can they even offer each other? Will they both need to reach some compromise? What will it take for the hero to trust the villain? And should they?


As a substitute for "torture as drama", I think it ticks all the boxes except perhaps the "body horror" aspect of the gore. I think it can still be horrifying, but it's less visceral, unless you decide that the one thing the hero wants from the villain is to witness the autopsy of a corpse firsthand (in this case, I assume this is a death they always felt was suspicious), or perhaps the villain asks to eat a live animal (in this instance, I'm assuming the villain is a carnivorous monster of some kind). You can still have your gore. Heck, if you even just want pain, the prisoner could just request to fight their interrogator, one on one, no weapons.
The beauty of this idea is that it opens up so many opportunities. I could even see this becoming a major plot point if the villain requests a specific item or person, sending the hero on a minor adventure, just to get one step closer to winning.

In any case, it's better than "hurt them until they talk", not only because it's got so much more narrative potential, but because it's honest. That being said, this isn't the only option. Writers used to use this because they genuinely thought it was realistic and so they found it compelling, but now that we know the reality it's just lazy. There are many ways to get information out of someone.
Your character could use some detective work, to find clues on or about a person. Rather than interrogate them, they could simply carry them along with them on the mission, forcing the villain to fight alongside them and (hopefully) switch sides before their information is necessary. Villains can use fictional sci-fi technologies or darkly fantastical magic to try to peel the information out of the heroes mind, since the fictionalized aspect would make any torturous method of this sort more honest, especially if you make it clear that such means are necessary (since, for the umpteenth time, torture doesn't work).
Or, hell, the villain could just tell the hero what they want to know. Why? Because it doesn't matter, they believe they're going to win anyway, so they could use this as an opportunity to gloat and get under the hero's skin.

I'm the Absurd Word Nerd, and whilst I believe that all writers have a responsibility to write honestly, I don't think this is difficult to do. It just requires adding the step of "think about the effect your story has" when writing stories, and since writing stories is a significantly cerebral task, this isn't exactly a difficult step to add in the writing process. But your stories can be just as creative, dramatic, tense, dark, disturbing, compelling and action-packed as they always were... they'll just also be better for society as well.

Until Next Time, writing is meant to be fun, so I'm not asking you to bend over backwards to make your stories more honest. Just add a dose of consideration, and your fiction will be all the better for it.

Rest in Peace

So, the final post in this Final Halloween Countdown. I've had a lot of fun, and I wanted this to simply be a goodbye message, maybe a thank you, but I realized that I couldn't do that... because a thought was nagging at me, for a few reasons.

Firstly, in quite a few of these posts, simply because I am talking about how death "isn't the worst thing", I've added several links to google's search result for suicide, because I don't know where you're reading this from, but typing suicide into google often provides the hotlines for your local suicide hotline. I felt it was better than trying to list them all out for you.

Also, I will take this moment now to tell you that the rest of this post is going to be talking about Suicide, so this is your TRIGGER WARNING (there's also some mention of Sexual Assault). There's even some light discussion of suicide methodology, so I want you to put your mental health first and only read this if you're in the headspace for a frank discussion about the Horrors of Suicide. And if this does cause you to feel unwell or suicidal, I recommend that you reach out to a friend, or that link provided above.

Secondly, I realized that whilst I have been focusing on a natural death and coming to terms with mortality... I am choosing to end the Halloween Countdown. Heck, I even made it a plot-point in that meta-fiction post that I was "killing the blog". And so, technically, it wasn't "dying naturally", but it was in a sense committing suicide.

But thirdly, and most importantly, I found the idea of a goodbye message unsettling because when I see someone making a "celebration" of their farewell, retirement or life transition, I often get an intrusive thought: is this a grandiose suicide note?
I want to state upfront that I am not suicidal, I'd argue that I'm far from it in fact—as I mentioned in that earlier post in this countdown Phobia File: Death, I'm scared of dying naturally, let alone unnaturally—but, when musicians give farewell tours, when celebrities announce their retirement, when YouTubers say that they're moving on...
I mentioned in A Year to Remember how I was moved when MatPat announced his retirement from the Theorist channels. What I didn't mention is the intrusive though I had as the final days approached.
The next time we hear his name, will it be because he's on the news, announced dead.

Now, this was an irrational thought. Especially in that case with a father who was leaving specifically to focus on his family and work on other projects. But, I find all kinds of death, including suicide, horrifying and so my mind does occasionally use intrusive thoughts of these to torment me.
I think because I have heard of such stories in my own life. My parents told me a story of a friend they had who was an alcoholic and a very effeminate gay man (and yes both of those are relevant). After several drink-driving offenses, he lost his license and was actually to be jailed for a short time. So, he went around to his friends and had a farewell before he went to prison. But, this was actually because, as an openly gay man, he 100% believed that he would be assaulted and raped in prison, possibly killed. So, he committed suicide to avoid that fate.

I have also had friends who have killed themselves. I won't name names, and I'm lucky that this was merely a casual acquaintance. Someone I met after work. But... even though this was someone that I met at the pub and would occasionally have some interesting conversations with, I was sad to hear that he not only died, but died by suicide. I wasn't happy that he died, he was a good man; but, I was more upset to learn that I enjoyed his company more than, it seems, he enjoyed his own.

In fact, whilst one of the key issues with suicide is that it causes silent suffering, people stuck in their own heads, it means that occasionally my mind treats it less like the insidious mental health crisis that it is, and more like a social landmine.
Someone you love could be suffering beneath the surface. Someone you value, whose life has made yours the better for existing, may suddenly explode and be taken from you.

All of this does unfortunately mean that whilst it is good and healthy to talk about suicide - as the best way to seek help is to reach out - I am literally the worst person to do this around because I find it disturbing to empathize with this mindset. To me it is actual insanity, and before we move on—THIS IS THE WRONG OPINION.

It's not often that I will say I am wrong, so enjoy this while it lasts... consider it my final gift for the Final Halloween Countdown "the AWN admits he's wrong":

I suffer from a phobia, an irrational fear of death. This has lead to an unhealthy obsession with death, not only my own, but also someone else's. If someone who loves and trusts you is expressing suicidal thoughts they don't need a straight jacket they need a hug... or a cup of coffee, or whatever other love language suits them (some people don't like hugs, respect their boundaries).

Whilst I am capable of understanding this logically, emotionally my mind recoils at the idea. Even writing about it in this blog post is making me very uncomfortable. If you don't understand what I mean... imagine some other phobia. Let's say you're scared of snakes, or spiders, or needles. Now, imagine someone you know and respect says to you "hey, watch this!" then grabs the thing you're terrified at the very notion of and gleefully drops it down their pants.

That may be difficult if your phobia is "heights", but I hope it brings across the point. To me, that is Wrong. Just wrong, a wrongness my brain can't wrap it's head around. Genuinely, I occasionally write cosmic horror, and to me suicidality is the perfect example of "insanity and horrors inconceivable", the idea that someone can see this existential doom... and step towards it. That is the epitome of madness, to me.
My mind even occasionally threatens me with suicide. I want to make this clear, this isn't a suicidal thought, I never crave death, I do not want to die - these intrusive thoughts are naturally selected to upset me. So, I will get a thought such as "one step and you fall to your death", or "one slip of this knife, and you'll bleed out", or "turn the steering wheel now, and it's all over".
Thankfully I'm in a headspace where I find these thoughts more annoying than upsetting, but when I was younger I was much more unsettled. I would put down sharp objects or step away from edges and railings because even though I would never consciously do these things I found the potential so disturbing that I didn't want to even allow the possibility.

The worst part of all of this is that it reinforces my fear of dying. My mind has created a false dichotomy: Either you're Thanatophobic, or you're Suicidal.
I don't see much middle ground, even though literally everyone who doesn't suffer from either suicidality or existential death anxiety falls there on that spectrum.

Which also means that in a post where I'm talking about Suicide, I spent more time talking about my own fears than suicide itself... because the reality is that Suicide is Horrifying. Not because it's some cosmic horror form of Insanity, not because it's a landmine that steals our friends and family at random, and not because people are secretly hiding suicide notes in their fond farewells.
Suicide is Horrifying because it is preventable, and when people like me don't want to talk about it, wish it would just go away and stop existing, if anything that makes it all the more inevitable. So, if you are suicidal or know someone that is, I suffer from a mental illness and I don't have the knowledge or empathy to help... but there are people out there who do. Reach out, don't suffer in silence.
I don't want to talk about suicide not because you're crazy, but because I'm crazy.

Don't let my madness get in the way of your sanity.

I'm the Absurd Word Nerd, and in conclusion I think this has solidified in my mind that this blog is not committing suicide. I have exhausted it, it's done. The lifespan of any creative series is decided by its creator, but it feels natural... I want to move on, and this blog is ready to move on as well. And I guess this is an opportunity for some final words. So, here goes.

Thank you all for learning, reading and being scared alongside me for the last thirteen years and hundreds of posts, for celebrating my Birthday and Halloween and everything that comes in between. I can only hope that it meant as much to you as it did to me. Until Next Time, Goodbye from the Halloween Countdown. You reading has made it worth it.

I'm actually crying, I didn't think I would, but I am... it's the end of an era and this Halloween Countdown ultimately meant so much to me. There's more to come, but genuinely, thank you if you've read this. I'll see you on the other side.

Everything is Burning

As a word nerd, I love a beautiful arrangement of words, especially when they are as beautiful as they are meaningful or disturbing (or both). And today's post was inspired by a phrase I heard during my writing research. As I said in my post about Immortality I find immortality an interesting trope to play around with in fiction, and for a story about an immortal villain trapped in a coffin, I was wondering about what would or wouldn't survive over a long time. In my research, I discovered an article all about a project for a building a long-term project the Clock of the Long Now, all about building something to last 10,000 years.

The Long Now Foundation was trying to find the best materials to last such a long time, and when talking to materials scientists, an anonymous scientist was quoted as saying:

Everything is burning, just at different rates.

It appears that they were referring to the fact that "aging" of materials is related to oxidization. This scientist was being referred to second-hand, so I can't know exactly what they meant or how much they may disagree with my interpretation. But, I think I perceived something deeper from those words...
Because burning is, ultimately, a chemical reaction. And whilst I don't know that much about oxygenation, I do know about entropy.

Part of the reason I think I'm interpreting them wrong is because burning is about heat, and entropy is about dispersal of heat (i.e. cooling, kind of the opposite) but still, when I heard that it made me think about the fact that everything is slowly, but surely, decaying, some faster than others... the word of the day is: 'ENTROPY'

Entropy /entrəpi/n. 1. Thermodynamics. a) (on a macroscopic scale) A function of thermodynamic variables, as temperature, pressure, or composition, and differing from energy in that energy is the ability to do work and entropy is a measure of how much energy is not available. The less work that is produced, the greater the entropy, so when a closed system is void of energy, the result is maximum entropy. b) (in statistical mechanics) A measure of the randomness of the microscopic constituents of a thermodynamic system. 2. (in data transmission and information theory) A measure of the loss of information in a transmitted signal or message. 3. (in cosmology) A hypothetical tendency for the universe to attain a state of maximum homogeneity in which all matter is at a uniform temperature heat death. 4. A state of disorder, or a tendency toward such a state; chaos. 5. A doctrine of inevitable social decline and degeneration.

When I was a kid, I experienced a moment that I feel like a lot of kids go through at some point. I was talking about the future with my father, and he mentioned that, at some point, the sun is going to explode.
I think he mentioned it as an example of intellectual curiosity, but as a child this was existentially horrifying. The very thing that we rely on for life, sitting innocently above us during each day, is going to kill us all. As a kid I came to the only conclusion that made any sense to me: Our goal, as humans, is to escape this calamity. I didn't fully understand the timescale, and when I finally did I felt slightly less horrified, but I still maintained my conclusion that at some point we need to get the fuck off this rock.

[Author's Note: I was a child at the time, and thus too naive to have the coarse language necessary to express the idea that accurately/succinctly].

For years, I lived with this ideal. At some point, we must escape the Earth, then we can create the inevitable Star Trek utopia and start fucking space babes.

[Author's Note: Again, as I was a child at the time, and thus too naive to recognize the necessary benefits of xenosexual intercourse].

However, this attitude shifted when I was a growing preteen and learned about entropy. For those of you who still haven't learnt this lesson, or don't fully recognize the reality of the situation, Entropy is a measure of chaos (or homogeneity) in a closed system.
The Second Law of Thermodynamics states that, over time, entropy must increase.
This is simply because matter and energy can neither be created or destroyed and it takes work to achieve order, including the "containment of energy" and thus energy, matter, and everything naturally starts to settle out and disperse.
Order is inherently unstable, everything naturally breaks down, slows, and cools as a result of matter and energy decaying, leading to inevitable heat death. And this principle is applicable on both the micro- and macroscopic scale. So, for the same reason that your hot cup of coffee eventually cools, the universe will also eventually cool. And since life relies on complex biochemistry and ordered organic matter, this also necessitates that all life must end.

As a preteen (and moody teenager), I decided "well, there's no fucking point then, is there? It's all going to end anyway."

Fuck me, I'm glad this is a Halloween blog post, because that's not exactly an uplifting conversation starter, is it?
It always bothers me when someone says "I don't like small talk", because I'm usually using it to ingratiate myself to them in a way that's socially acceptable, so I don't want to broach difficult topics unless I know them to be mentally prepared for them. That's why 'small talk' exists in the first place, but fuck it—next time someone says to you "I don't like small talk", say to them "okay then, so how do you feel knowing that the heat death of the universe will render all human achievement ultimately pointless?"
That's some big, fucking talk for you, you self-important goose.

I think one of the reasons why I like to use that phrase "everything is burning" to think about this concept is because, whilst mildly unsettling, at least it is a poetic way of seeing it and it makes it slightly more aesthetic.
But, it is still a bitter pill, isn't it? I've said my piece about personal death, I don't want to die myself, so expanding that to a cosmic scale isn't really something I'm keen on. But I want to talk about it.

Why? Well, because I have actually changed my mind back to my childhood position. I think that, in the next four billion years, we need to find a way to expand beyond this rock. Why? Well, because it would be FUCKING COOL.

I know that doesn't sound like the most sensible argument, but trust me it is. When the universe is over, nobody will be around to deal with it. But, if we can avoid the conflagration of our sun exploding, that gives us much more opportunity to do cool shit, experience life for just that bit longer. It is literally my same position on death, in general - life is better than death, so we shouldn't let the inevitability of death spoil the meaning in your life.
I do still believe that the heat death of the universe will render all life pointless, but I believe that such pointlessness will be post-mortem, it needn't bleed through into the moments preceding it. We should keep it in mind, to keep humanity in perspective. I think it serves as a cosmic slap in the face to the human ego to remind us that we are fragile, fallible and flammable.

I'm the Absurd Word Nerd, and remember that Everything is Burning, you and I included. That doesn't mean you stop, it means that you are guaranteed to go out in a blaze of glory. So, enjoy it while you can.

Mandatory Exorcise

Even the most unusual work can become mundane over time, whether that be organizing the names of black-listed persons by year, to remove all those who had already died, or digitizing the cover-up catalogue for the conspiracy department of a top-secret government agency known as the Kitchen. Brian had been working in the archives for the “Dishwasher” department for almost a year now, and it had become tedious; but, even he had to pause when he recognized a name: John James Luettgen.

More commonly known as “the Highway Butcher”, Luettgen was a notorious serial killer in Australia in the 1980s. He killed five people before being hunted down and killed by police.
At least, that’s the cover story.
According to the dossier on Brian’s desk—a file named Operation: Black Orchard—the organization had attempted to create a cover story for some of the many casualties of demonic possession, cult activity and what the Kitchen colourfully termed “paranormal misadventure”. Luettgen wasn’t real, his body belonged to an agent killed in the line of duty.
There was a note at the end of the file where the head editor noted:

“...whilst the media attention was manageable, we failed to appreciate the vigour of the conspiracy theorist community. The interrogator’s report (as shown in Doc. 17.) suggests that linking so many disconnected events created conflicting narratives. Whilst the conspiracy theory issue has been neutralized, it is my suggestion that we should not link more than two or three unrelated tragedies so as to maintain a lower profile in future operations.”

Brian leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling. The fluorescent lights glared back at him. Brian was barely twenty, he’d worked at the Kitchen for two years now, and he couldn’t help but ask himself, not for the first time, “What the hell is wrong with this place?”
       Brian was snapped out of his occupational consternation when he heard the click of the electronic lock behind him, and he turned to see a man in the standard-issue bulletproof vest that all interdepartmental guards seemed to wear, with a rifle hanging from a strap on his shoulder. He locked eyes with Brian.
       “Alright, come on,” he says, gesturing for Brian to follow.
       “What’s this about?” asks Brian, not getting up. “I’m in the middle of my work.”
       “Doin’ a sweep, mate. Come on,” he says, impatiently.
       “A sweep?” asks Brian.
       “Are you new?” the guard says, spitting the word ‘new’ like a slur.
       “Not really,” says Brian.
       “Well, it’s a mandatory sweep. Orders from the top drawer. All staff, carpark, now.”
Brian sighed, stood up and followed the man out of the room. He still didn’t understand what was going on but “top drawer” meant that these orders likely came from the department manager, his boss’s boss, meaning it was too far above his security clearance—and pay grade—to argue with it.
       “Head for the stairwell, that’s a good boy,” says the guard as Brian steps outside and sees the dozen other employees on this floor had been corralled into the hallway, being lead towards the stairwell. He recognized the balding head of Lucas, the lead archivist, and headed over to him.
       “What’s this about?” asks Brian.
       “Probably another screw-up in the Oven. They’re always trying to play God, and screwing around with sub-dimensionals...” moans Lucas, as he heads into the open stairwell.
       “What?” asks Brian, but his voice was drowned out by the echoing footfalls of a hundred standard-issue leather shoes as he entered the fire-escape-cum-stairwell. Brian followed the herd down the grimly lit concrete steps, until they reached the bottom, and stepped out into the building’s underground carpark. There, he saw a hundred or more staff scattered around the blacktop. Brian even recognized David Morrissey, head of the department, speaking with some interns. More people were spilling out of the stairwell, so Brian headed deeper into the clustered people. As he headed further, he saw that someone had put up a cheap barricade blocking off half the carpark. The barrier was just retractable black ribbon on metal poles, but behind the ribbon were half a dozen armed guards, with bullet-proof vests, all holding rifles. At the centre of the barricade was a windowless van.
Brian approached one of the agents behind the barricade.
       “Stay back from the line, sir,” said the woman, and Brian saw her muscles tense, and her finger curl around the trigger.
       “Okay,” he said, taking a deliberate step back, so he stood a metre away from the edge. “I just want to know what’s going on. I’m kind of new...”
       “Just follow instructions. It’ll be over quickly,” she said, sternly.
Brian nodded and headed back into the crowd. Stove Agents were very well-trained, and his own life had been saved more than once by the Kitchen’s tactics and defense department; but, after working in the Dishwasher archives, he had come across a term: mental slippage. Working for a secret organization that dealt with the supernatural, deadly and outright demonic could be stressful at the best of times, and whilst the term could refer to employees from any departments it was clear that Stove agents were more prone to “mental slippage”. Whilst the documents never actually spelled it out, from the context of some disciplinary documents, and black-listed names, “mental slippage” seemed to be the Kitchen’s politically correct way of referring to members of staff likely to “go postal”.

†

       “Can I have your attention, please? Everyone, please, thank you... we will begin shortly,” said a woman, her posh, almost-English accent projected through a megaphone. Brian couldn’t see her, but she was near the black van.
“Thanks to recent events in the Northern Territory, we have encountered a new demon presence, and as is standard company policy...”—several groans and annoyed mumbles rippled through the crowd, which she raised her voice to drown out—“...we are carrying out an organization-wide sweep of all Kitchen employees, for potential demonic possession. All employees must be exorcised. This is mandatory, I repeat, this is not optional. Anyone who does not undergo exorcism willingly will be detained, and exorcised forcibly. Thank you...”
There was a high-pitched whine of feedback from the speaker as the woman lowered the megaphone, then Brian heard more grumbling from the crowd. 
Brian turns to a man he doesn’t recognize, an older man in a striped tie.
“Excuse me, sorry, but do you know what they mean by ‘exorcise’?” asks Brian.
       “Yes...” sighs the man, glumly. “First time?”
Brian nods.
       “They got a machine they use to suck ‘em out,” he says, nodding towards the van. “Consider yourself lucky. Years ago, they used to stick the tubes all the way down...” he gestures with a hooked finger towards his throat, “it still hurts like hell, but it’s not as bad as it used to be.”
       “Alright, we’re ready to begin,” the posh woman calls over the megaphone. “Things will move a lot smoother, if we sort ourselves into alphabetical order. Can everyone with a first name beginning with ‘A’ please come to the front? Then we can get the ‘B’s behind them, the ‘C’s, etcetera...”
Brian joined the people shuffling to the front, beside the black van. There was some awkward banter as people asked each other their names, and tried to get in order—two men were arguing whether ‘Chris’ came before ‘Christopher’—but he stood in line and watched as the posh woman stood at the front with a clipboard. He actually recognized her, he’d seen her organizing an operation over a year ago. He couldn’t remember her name, but she was the department head of the Oven, the research and development department of the Kitchen.
       “Adrien Palomar.” she said, looking up. The man at the front of the line stepped forward. She knocked on the door of the van, and it slid open. Brian was peering around the four people in front of him, trying to see what was going on. The man disappeared inside the van and the door slid shut. After a few seconds, there was a muffled whirring sound inside the van. It sounded like a powerful vacuum cleaner. Over the sound of the machine, Brian heard the sound of screaming.
A minute later, the sound stops, and he heard the sliding door on the other side of the van slide open and Brian could hear coughing as the man staggered out.
       “Next!” calls out the woman. “Ashley Valdez.”
The next woman steps up, and heads into the van.
“Hey,” Brian says, tapping the shoulder of the woman in front of him, a chubby, middle-aged woman with short hair. “Do you know what they’re doing in there?”
       “I’ve only been here a week,” she says, clearly terrified. “But, I’m not a smoker. My supervisor says it’s worse if you’re a smoker...”
       “Next!” calls out the woman, as the machine falls silent. “Audrey Cauldwell?”
Brian was nervous, but watching the woman in front shift nervously almost made him feel better. At least he wasn’t the only one shitting themselves.
       “Alright, Next!” calls out the woman. “Benjamin Blake.”
The woman takes a step, then freezes, steps back and glances around at Brian.
       “Are you Benjamin?” she asks. He shakes his head.
The posh woman sighs, and picks up her megaphone, and Brian quickly covers his ears.
       “Benjamin Blake! Step forward, please!” After scanning over the crowds of people, she lowers the megaphone and turns to one of the Stove guards. “Find Mister Blake, please. Use force, if necessary...” she then glances at her clipboard. “Alright... Brenda Vidal?”
As the woman ahead steps inside, Brian saw her sit in a carseat facing backwards just before the door slid closed.
       “Brian Lockburn?” the posh woman asks, glancing at him. Brian just nods, and she looks down at her clipboard. The whirring sound from the van began again, and Brian started shifting on his feet, nervously.
       “How often do you exorcise a demon, doing this?” Brian asked.
       “About one in six,” she said, sounding bored.
       “One in six people?”
       “No no,” she said, frowning. “One in six sweeps.”
       “Oh... well, how many demons do you usually find?” Brian asked.
       “All of them,” she said sternly, staring at him.
The machine stopped, and they could hear the Brenda stepping out from the other side.
       “You’re next, Mister Lockburn,”
The door to the van slid open, and Brian headed inside, sitting down in the carseat. He flinched when he saw the two rifles, pointed at his head.
       “Alright, make yourself comfortable,” said a bespectacled, young man in the labcoat, who was standing between the two armed guards. The guard nearest the door slid it closed, and the scientist reached for a clear, flexible pipe near his feet, that appeared to be wrapped in a metal spring. One end of the tube was fitted with a rigid, black facemask with a rubber seal, shaped to fit one’s nose and mouth; the other end lead towards a machine that the scientist was standing over. It was the size of a microwave, and looked a bit like a car engine except it was covered in glass panels and gauges.
       “Alright, just do up your seatbelt,” said the scientist, and Brian complied. Then, he held out the tube with a gloved hand, the end wobbling towards Brian.
       “Just put this on, and fasten the strap around your head,” he said.
With two guns trained on him, Brian didn’t hesitate to affix the mask, pulling the strap over his head.
       “Perfect. Now, take a deep breath. This will hurt a bit...” he said.
Brian inhaled, and got a lungful of air that smelled like oil and rubber, and held it. The scientist flipped a switch and the burst to life sound. The sound drowned out all other noise, like sticking your head in a wind tunnel. The pressure immediately increased in the tube, clamping the mask to Brian’s face. He felt a cold air around his lips and nose, and it started to drag the air out of his lungs. Brian exhaled, but the pressure grew and grew, it felt like the cold air was reaching down his throat. He coughed, but the pressure increased. He coughed more, but he was out of breath. He felt sick. He tried to gasp for air, but he couldn’t. He wanted to scream for them to stop, but he was breathless. Voiceless. His chest was hot and cold at the same time.
Then the scientist flipped the switch, and Brian gasped for breath. It was rubbery and stale, and so cold it made him cough, but it was air. Brian went to remove the straps, but the scientist grabbed his hand.
       “Not yet...” he said, as he looked down at the machine. He was reading the gauges, and checking one of the small, glass vials on the machine.
       “Okay, you’re clean. Take it off.” he said.
Brian practically ripped the strap off his head, giving it to the scientist, who cleaned the inside with a wet-wipe as Brian undid his seatbelt.
       “That hurt... like hell...” Brian gasped. The guard to Brian’s right approached him with a white, plastic strip, wrapping it tightly around Brian’s wrist and using a device that looked like a stapler to fuse it together.
       “Keep this on for the rest of the day,” he grunted, then he opened the van door beside him. Brian staggered out, taking careful breaths as they closed the door. He glanced at the plastic wristband, and saw it was a cheap hospital bracelet labelled with the date. It was still hot where it had been melted together, but it was nothing compared to the ache in his chest.
       “Keep going,” said a female guard. Brian glanced up and recognized her as the woman he’d tried to talk to earlier.
       “Where?” he gasped.
“Head up the ramp,” she says, pointing to the two-laned ramp that cars used to drive between levels of the carpark, where another Stove guard was posted.
       “I have to walk up?” Brian asked, weakly. Had that machine bruised his lungs?
       “You can’t break the personnel quarantine.”
With a groan, Brian headed towards the ramp. After several painful deep breaths and a few swear words, Brian climbed the ramp, and the guard at the top pointed him towards the elevators. Brian crossed the empty carpark level, where a guard was leaning against the wall.
       “Use the lifts, not the stairs,” says the guard, pressing the call button.
       “Where to?” Brian asked.
“Back to work.” said the guard.
       “Really? We just...” Brian mimed typing on a keyboard. “Right back to it?”
       “Yeah, unless you’ve got a medical certificate or something...” says the guard.
The elevator arrived, so Brian stepped in and pushed the button for Basement Level 1, the Archives. He was finally starting to realize why everyone else had hated this whole process so much, since all staff had to go through that painful ordeal. It didn’t take long for the elevator to reach his floor, but when the doors opened, Brian didn’t step out.
All Staff... which includes the bosses from the top floor. He didn’t really want to go right back to work after that, and if he decided to take an hour-long coffee break... who was going to stop him? Brian pressed the button for the highest floor the elevator could reach, Level 35.
O-J, a friend that worked in maintenance, once showed him the rooftop. It had a great view of the city, and it’s where a lot of the janitors and maintenance staff went to smoke. Brian thought the fresh air might do his lungs some good.
He stepped out onto the clean, management level with its green carpets and glass walls, and headed into the stairwell to scale the last two floors. The door was kept ajar by a rusty, dented old soup can, weighed down with wet cigarette butts. Brian pushed open the door, and immediately felt the cool breeze whipping past as he stepped outside. From here, he looked out at the city. There were a few skyscrapers much taller, the William Street office loomed large, shadowed only by the clouds in the sky; but below he could see the Brisbane River reflecting the sun off its brown water, as well he saw the cars along the Inner City Bypass constantly streaming between the South-East and West.
He had to breathe carefully, so as not to further injure his tortured lungs, but he slowly took a deep breath. He was actually starting to feel better, but as he looked out over the sunlit metropolis, leaning against the concrete wall that surrounded the edge of the building, he couldn’t ignore that thought in the back of his mind: Some days, I really hate this job.
       Nobody ever chooses to apply for the Kitchen. It was Top-Secret after all. As Brian had come to learn, by cataloguing the Human Resources files for the Dishwasher, there were four categories of employee enlistment: Detainees, Recruits, Victims & Witnesses.
Detainees were cultists or other “disruptive individuals”, captured by the Stove that could be persuaded to switch sides; but, few survived long enough to be captured, let alone undergo employee orientation. Recruits were people sought out for their innate talents or accomplishments, usually scientists or soldiers, recruited for military or research. Victims were persons who had been directly attacked, demonically or supernaturally, and had survived; Brian himself was a “Victim”, a survivor of an attempted blood-sacrifice that killed most of his friends, and left him more than a little scarred, and not just from the cut in his thigh. Lastly, there were Witnesses, people who had seen something they shouldn’t have seen, and couldn’t be convinced by the Dishwasher’s cover story.
Technically, anyone enlisted to join does have a choice as to whether they wish to join... but the choice is usually “you’re with us, or against us”, which was an effective incentive for employment, but it tended to negatively affect employee morale.
       Brian was brought back to reality as he heard someone trudging up the stairwell, and watched the door as a guard pushed it open, holding her rifle at the ready.
       “Benjamin Blake?” she asked, aiming at him.
       “No, I’m Brian,” he said, holding up his hands. He gave his right hand a little shake, to show off the bracelet on his wrist. The guard stepped forward, still aiming the gun at him as she closed the distance, the wind catching her chin-length hair.
       “Are you alone up here?” she asked.
       “Yeah... I haven’t seen anyone else,” said Brian. “I’m not sure where that guy is.”
She finally lowered her gun, and Brian finally exhaled, but she was still glaring at him.
       “What are you doing up here?” she asked. She was slightly shorter than him, but he felt small as she glared at him.
       “I just needed some fresh air,” says Brian.
       “You work in management?”
       “No... I work in Archives. Dishwasher files...”
       “That sucks,” she says.
       “Tell me about it...” says Brian. “What’s this about? Have I done something wrong?”
       “No, it just makes it more difficult,” she says.
       “What do you mean?” asks Brian.
Suddenly, she kissed him.
It was shocking, a little exciting, but mostly confusing. He could smell her sweat, and taste the smoke on her breath. After a second, Brian finally reacted, trying to push her off, but the arms around his neck gripped tighter, and he felt the heat of her exhaling into his mouth. Hot smoke, but not cigarette smoke - it was like woodsmoke and charred meat - it poured out of her and into him. Suddenly, the guard collapsed onto the ground as the last of the thick, demonic smoke spilled out of her mouth and crept into Brian’s throat and nostrils.
Without thinking, literally without even realizing what his body was doing, Brian turned, and slammed his head into the concrete wall beside him.
He blacked out.

       It’s a common misconception that demons, psychics and other brain-infiltrating aliens are capable of taking control of a person that is “weak-minded”; but this is simply untrue. No conscious, living human (even with high gullibility, low intelligence or learning disability) is naturally “weak-minded”, all human brains have similar voltage and conductivity, which is much stronger than demonic influence. Thus, field research has shown that demons possess their victims by either rendering their host unconscious, or otherwise mentally incapacitating them. Whilst there have been rare cases of demons drugging their hosts with sedatives, most use their limited control to inflict brain damage, so as to render their victim unconscious or comatose. There are even some cases where hosts have been braindead, but this is rare as even though a demon can keep the body alive for a while longer, dead brains tend to rot and liquefy, causing systemic organ failure after a few days.

†

       The next thing Brian knew, he was staring at the road, driving past warehouses and large fences in the early morning, but to his dazed eyes the road looked like the speckled black of the night sky, and the buildings either side were made of glass and light. Looks like I’m in space, Brian thought. Seeing his fingers on the wheel, he tried to flex them, but only his index fingers moved.
“No no... not now,” said his mouth. It was his voice, but not his words.
Must be stiff... cold... like space. But I’m not cold. The ship’s on autopilot.
       “Just a few more hours,” it said, gritting his teeth, but he wasn’t controlling his mouth, or his foot as it pressed the pedal, speeding faster down the road that Brian was hallucinating into starlight.
Brian’s body drove up to a security fence, stopped and wound down the window. 
No, cold... Brian flinched, his whole body jerking back, then his arm forcefully reached out, to swipe his security card in the slot.
       “Will you just stop it and go back to sleep?!” the demon growled. The gate opened.
His body angrily wound the window up and kept driving onto the site of a wastewater management facility. Not stiff, It’s fighting me... I can hear my voice...
       “We’re almost there. Just sit there a little longer...”
As they drove through the site, Brian started to recognize large water tanks as they drove past them. It reminded him of how his work kept the secret entrance to the secure containment and storage department in a facility just like this one.
How did I drive here? ...I don’t know the way.
They drove up to what looked like a large, white shed, and stopped by a large tree. Still sitting in the car, his hand slid his mobile phone out of his pocket and dialled. After a few seconds, a scratchy-voiced man answered the phone.
       “Hello?” the phone answered.
       “This is Brian, from the Cabinet, requesting gate access,” it said.
No I’m not... Brian thought.
       “Mhmm...” said the phone. “I’ll need an authorization code.”
       “Flock. Puzzle. Amaze. Shiver. Gust.”
The phone hung up, and a few seconds later, the large roller door started to go up.
I didn’t realize the Fridge was in space... or, is it? I can’t breathe space...
His foot pressed on the accelerator and he drove into the building, inside of which was a large ramp, leading deep down a hidden tunnel.
       “Whoa...” Brian mumbled.
       “Stop that,” the demon responded, “Just go back to sleep. This is all a dream...”
I woke up from driving... did I fall asleep driving? No, then I’d crash. How did my car get here? Was I asleep? Why can’t I remember...?
       Brian was lucky to have regained consciousness at all, but his recovery was gradual. The tunnel leading to the underwater facility was almost five miles long and it took him the whole journey to be able to distinguish his hallucinations from reality. The car drove into the facility’s spiral carpark, passing several cars as Brian began to understand.
No, the car is real... which means that you’re real. But you shouldn’t be here.
       “No!” yelled Brian, and he cranked the handbrake. The car screeched to a stop.
       “What the hell are you doing?! Are you trying to kill us?” the demon said.
       “I want... you out,” said Brian, a little groggily.
       “We’re almost done...” the demon whined. It sounded pitiful. “Don’t fight this.”
       “Not fffffuh-ffffight,” he slurred, “I’m luh-... living.”
       “Let’s just park the car first, okay?”
Brian didn’t respond, but with a will of their own, his hands released the handbrake, and turned the car into the nearest car-space, then switched off the engine.
       “Just relax, for five more minutes, okay? Then I’ll be done.” it said.
       “Nnnnnnno...” Brian slurred. “You are a... demon.”
       “That’s what you call us,” it said. “We’re just people your organization hunts down.”
       “P-p-p... parr...” Brian stammered, forgetting the word. “...I’m stop you.”
       “How? You can barely talk,” said the demon.
       “It’s... my job.”
       “But why? You can’t trust the Kitchen, they’re corrupt. Don’t fight me, Brian, help me. Once I free my friends, I’ll go. But if you resist, the Kitchen could kill us both. I just need to hand over the papers, get my friends, then I’ll go.”
       “Fffffriends?” asks Brian.
       “Yes. I just want to rescue my friends that were captured. I need to save them.”
       “Ssssave them...”
       “Yes. Will you help me?”
Brian didn’t respond for a few seconds.
       “...yesss.”
Satisfied, Brian’s hand picked up the folder on the passenger seat, got out of the car and headed into the round central column that housed the entrance. The demon walked over to the desk.
       “How can I help you?” asked the young man at the desk.
       “I’m Brian. I called earlier about resolving a missing record.” it said.
       “Ohh, yes, the deep-freeze catalogue?”
       “That’s the one,” it says, holding out Brian’s security card. “I need to cross-reference the vial’s detainee number...”
       “Alright,” says the man, scanning the card, “the floor manager’s waiting for you on level ten.”
Brian’s lips smiled at the man, then he headed for the elevators in the middle of the room. It stepped inside, pressed the button and sighed with relief as the doors closed.
       “Thank you,” it whispered. “I was worried when you woke up, but now... I don’t know how to repay you.”
       “Okay...” says Brian.
The elevator doors open onto a corridor with concrete floors. There were two Stove guards standing by the door, and a pot-bellied man wearing a tailored suit.
       “Brian? I’m George. Welcome to Deep-Freeze,” he said, offering a hand.
       “My pleasure,” the demon said, taking his hand.
       “I’m... demon,” said Brian, and he forced himself to his knees. “Help me.”
Brian shakingly forced his hands behind his head as he backed away. The guards looked confused, but after a few seconds, one of them pulled out his gun.
       “You heard him. Cuff the man. Now!”
       “What are you doing?” hissed the demon. It tried to pull away, get to his feet, but Brian used all his strength to tense his muscles, to keep him still.
       “My... job...”
The other guard bound his wrists with zip-ties on his belt and dragged him to his feet.
       “No, I was joking!” pleaded the demon. “This is a mistake!”
       “No... get it out,” said Brian. The guards ignored them both, dragging him to a holding cell.

†

       The Fridge was designed to store demons, not extract them, so it took an hour for Stove Agents to arrive with a portable exorcise machine and drag the demon out. Because of the whole ordeal, Brian had forgotten what it had felt like, but he soon remembered.
He coughed and choked, as the scientist switched off the machine. He could still taste the smoke on his tongue, his chest burned, and his lungs felt like they’d had their veins ripped out. But his muscles relaxed. He felt free.
The scientist removed a small, glass vial with a metal cap. It was an inch-long cylinder, and only as wide as a marker pen; inside it looked like it was full of swirling, grey oil.
       “That’s it?” Brian asked, looking at the captured demon.
       “Well, you’ll need a psych’ eval,” said the scientist. “But first, medical. You probably have brain damage.”
       “Mhmm...” Brian grunted. The scientist stood up, and walked over to the floor manager, who had been watching from the corner the whole time. Brian watched them talk, but his vision was fuzzy.
       “Get your guards to tail him until he’s had a psychic evaluation. Then we’ll need a debrief, and have the dishwasher trace his steps to see when he was first possessed...” the scientist sighs heavily, “...and, I have to recommend a mandatory sweep.”
       “Again?” groaned George, rubbing his chest. “We just had one three weeks ago, doc.”
       “Yeah... if this one slipped through, we’ll have to update procedure. We’re getting sloppy.”
       “And how many got through before?” asked George, pointing at the vial in the scientist’s fingers. “He was headed for demon lock-up. If he popped a few vials, all hell would’ve broke loose.”
       “Well, we got lucky this time...” said the scientist, handing the vial to George.
       “Don’t forget to fill out the paperwork for this,” he says, waving the vial.
       “Yeah, yeah...” said the scientist, waving his hand dismissively as he left the room.
       “Can I go?” Brian asked, rubbing his throbbing head.
       “Not yet, mate,” says George. “Medical; Psych’ eval; Interrogation...”
       “My head hurts...”
       “Probably a brain injury, but don’t worry. With rehab, you’ll be back to work in a month.”
       “Work?” groans Brian.
       “Tell me about it...” says George, then he heads out of the room to go find the right paperwork for this kind of situation.

THE END

400! - 100 Great Horror Short Films

Once again, my hundredsome milestone has coincided with my Halloween Countdown. It's an exciting time... and as soon as I saw it, I had only one idea.

I want to share more horror stories with you, but I don't always have the opportunity to write them. So, I thought it would be fun to curate some for you. So, years ago, when I first started the Halloween Countdown, I started compiling a collection of horror short films.
I thought it wouldn't be too hard to find 100 films, but it turns out, I am kind of a horror movie snob [Wow(!) a guy who analyzes horror stories is a bit picky about horror stories, who knew?] so, it took me a long time to find several that I liked.
In fact, I have spent the last four months trying to find the last 40 or so movies for this list, because I wanted every single one to be one that I thought were the actual best of the best out there.

And this isn't just a "hey, maybe go look for these" type of list, where you have to do homework to find the cool things I'm talking about. No, I am going to embed them all here for you to watch, right now. You can save them to watch later, but I highly recommend that you check some of these out. If you're not sure why you should check out a particular title, I'll give a little description about why I think it's awesome, as well as a little "triggers" list. These include:

Bigotry (Homophobia/Misogyny/Racism/Transphobia); Death (of Animals/of Children/Murder/Suicide/); Flashing Lights/Jumpscares; Gore (Blood/Bone/Flesh/Organs/Rot); Nudity/Sex Scenes; Violence (to Animals/to Children/Domestic/Self-harm/Sexual);

Feel free to highlight the red to see the triggers, or Ctrl+F and search for your particular trigger, if you want to either prepare yourself for them, or avoid them entirely.

I have put these vaguely in order of "least favourite to most favourite", but that's my opinion, I hope you can find a new favourite amongst them. So, without further ado, to celebrate another 100 blog posts enjoy a bit of Horror for this Halloween Countdown, I am proud to present to you...

The AWN's 100 Best Horror Short Films (That You Can Watch, RIGHT NOW)

Internet Story  by AdamButcher
This starts as a mystery that could only exist online, in a video essay style, then slowly becomes a tragedy which can also only exist online...
Trigger Warnings: Death (Murder);Bigotry (Homophobia);

Apt 17  by Indiego Cinema
One of the scariest thoughts can be "Am I doing the right thing?", and this short explores it in a way that builds tension with every passing second.
Trigger Warnings: Date Rape implied; Violence (Domestic) implied;

Creep Box  by Witchcraft Motion Picture Company
An interesting exploration of a new technology which challenges ideas of life, death, grief, memories... and the horrors of resurrection.
Trigger Warnings: Death/Suicide implied;

Hysteric  by Witchcraft Motion Picture Company
Filmed in one take, this tale follows two girls late at night whose mother's mind has been influenced by an alien, humming sound.
Trigger Warnings: Death/of Children; Harm to Children;

The God Man  by Andrew Foerster
This mockumentary is initially a cosmic mystery, but the revelations of this incredible discovery is both incredible, and potentially disturbing.
Trigger Warnings: n/a;

We Got a Dog  by Ryan Valdez
Morgan's boyfriend crosses a line when he buys a dog without consulting her. So, what makes this a horror story? Simple... that thing is not a dog.
Trigger Warnings: Nudity;

Whistle  by Superfreak Media
I listen to a lot of podcasts, so the idea of a podcast slowly revealing that you're in danger from a deadly cryptid gives me the creeps.
Trigger Warnings: Jumpscare;

DOORS  by High Strange TV
This has a simply premise with great execution, and its one of very few analogue horror. Have you checked all of the doors in your house, lately?
Trigger Warnings: n/a;

Laura Hasn't Slept  by Paramount Entertainment Australia
Stories of dreams can be overdone with surreality, but this story explores nightmares in a way that's more subtle and disturbing.
Trigger Warnings: Gore (Blood, Bone, & Flesh);

The French Doors  by New Zealand Film Commission
A man renovating his new house discovers a world of darkness outside of the french doors he just installed.
Trigger Warnings: Violence; Death implied;

On My Way  by MakeDo Entertainment
We follow a simple partygoer on Halloween, and join him as he watches the world around him starts to go completely mad.
Trigger Warnings: Death (Murder) off-screen;Gore (Blood) implied;

MONSTER  by Maya Films
Whilst this would inspire the feature film The Babadook, it has a different vibe, and (in my interpretation) a very different storyline.
Trigger Warnings: Jumpscares;

The Knife  by Holomax
A small town gets terrorized by a cursed, bloodthirsty knife. Excellent execution elevates this basic premise into a pulpy masterpiece.
Trigger Warnings: Gore (Blood); excessive; Death (Murder); Violence (in General, & to Children); does pregnancy count?;

The Silvergleam Whistle  by Nickel Eye Pictures
A ghost story about a haunted train turns into a horrifying adventure for a young family who decide to stay at an old motel in the woods.
Trigger Warnings: Death (general, & of Children implied; Gore (Blood, & Rot); Jumpscare;

Slut  by the American Film Institute
This film explores the impossible standards of the virgin-whore complex, and the deadly implications of the men who perpetuate it.
Trigger Warnings: Gore (Blood); Death (Murder); Bigotry (Misogyny);

Larry  by Jacob Chase
When a parking attendant finds a tablet with a strange fairytale, he becomes haunted by the twisted creature of the darkness.
Trigger Warnings: Flashing Lights; Jumpscares;

I Can't Wake Up  by Gnostica Productions
When a lone dreamer is trapped in his nightmares, he becomes more and more desperate to find a way to escape, and avoid the monsters in his mind.
Trigger Warnings: Jumpscares; Flashing Lights;

Fragile.com  by AT&T Hello Lab
A young actress struggling in love and theatre is recruited to perform for a strange website that caters to a niche set of clientele.
Trigger Warnings: n/a;

Hunter's Cabin  by N'cee Van Heerden
A man has fled to a secluded cabin in the woods because he has a dark secret, but his plans go awry when he discovers that he's not as secluded as he hoped.
Trigger Warnings: Gore (Blood); Death (Murder);

The Whisperer  by Danny Donahue
I saw so many "And Then a Monster Killed You" stories for this, it's so boring. I thought this was the same, but I was pleasantly surprised.
Trigger Warnings: n/a;

Gargoyle  by Michael Cusack
This sad, gothic story sees a woman mourning the loss of her beloved husband, with this emotional tale portrayed entirely in gorgeous stop-motion animation.
Trigger Warnings: Word;

Harvey's Dream  by Omen Bird Pictures
Can you tell a horror story with little more than two actors talking in the kitchen? With this short film, I learned that you can.
Trigger Warnings: Gore (Blood);

And They Watched  by Fun Size Horror
A janitor is haunted by the ghost of an executed man in this short that explores the different concepts of guilt and innocence.
Trigger Warnings: Gore (Flesh); Death (Murder) off-screen;

Phone Home  by Aria Jackson
Grief can be such a lonely, isolating feeling, so when Eric gets a phone-call from his late fiancée, he will do anything to bring her home.
Trigger Warnings: Death; Gore (Blood); Nudity;

Teaching Jake about the Camcorder, Jan '97  by Brian David Gilbert
The inimitable BDG is very funny, but this exploration into analogue horror shows that he knows what it takes to scare you as well.
Trigger Warnings: Flashing Lights;

Sleep Talker  by Carl Firth
I thought I knew what this would be about, but things take a strange turn, but rather than making it silly it just becomes all the more scary.
Trigger Warnings: Gore (Blood & Flesh);

The Lonely Host  by Lisa J Dooley
This is really just a story of a weird, sad lady, but her character just builds and builds the tension into a crescendo of horror.
Trigger Warnings: Death (Murder);

Overtime  by Craig D. Foster
Ralph has been held up at work, and everything is keeping him from getting home. But he needs to get home before the full moon rises.
Trigger Warnings: Gore (Blood);Death (Murder) off-screen;

Chad Gets the Axe  by Travis Bible
A narcissistic streamer decides to desecrate a corpse for content (sound familiar?), but he just walked into the wrong murder cabin...
Trigger Warnings: Gore (Blood);Death (Murder);

The Flying Man  by Marcus Alqueres
I find the concept of Superhero Horror fascinating, and this short film explores the idea in a way that is both creepy and captivating.
Trigger Warnings: Death (Murder) censored;

The Noise Next Door  by Christopher Cox
This simple, but effective story combines a few different tropes together into a scary story about the danger behind closed doors.
Trigger Warnings: Violence (Domestic) off-screen; Jumpscare;

The Pavement  by Taylor Engel
There are a few of these stories that are truly beautiful, and this neo-noir tale of death and regret, whilst not the scariest, is dark and poetic.
Trigger Warnings: Blood (Gore); Death (Murder & Suicide); Word;

Night Bus  by Pia Pressure
I love this idea, the tale of a bus driver driving the late route who realizes that she's a picked up an unnatural passenger.
Trigger Warnings: Jumpscares; Violence;

Special Day  by Ink Run Productions
This premise does have the vibe of a two-sentence horror story, but it's a fascinating, high-concept horror used to great affect.
Trigger Warnings: Word;

The Three Men You Meet at Night  by Niteshift Films
The most effective horror tackles real terror, and a woman dealing with various predatory men as she travels home at night is as true as it gets.
Trigger Warnings: Bigotry (Misogyny) heavily implied; Violence (Sexual) themes;

Milk  by Santiago Menghini
This seemed like another "I heard it too" style horror, but this short film is so much darker and more metaphorical and surreal than that.
Trigger Warnings: honestly, it's so surreal, I don't even know...

Abi's Monster  by Christopher Cox
I thought this, too, was an "I heard it too" story, but it became a much deeper exploration into all of the deepest fears parents can have.
Trigger Warnings: Death (of Children) it looks like one, anyway;

Progeny  by AFI Conservatory
Whilst it shouldn't require such metaphors, this is an incredible and gross story about power, violence, consent and control.
Trigger Warnings: Death (of Children) unborn/alien, but still; Gore (Blood & Flesh); Violence (Sexual) themes/design;

Pleasant Inn  by David Romero
There's something about this animal, with minimal dialogue and dynamic movement that makes the threat here feel more inhuman and violent.
Trigger Warnings: Death; Gore (Blood & Flesh);

Hello?  by Hollywood Institute for Parapsychical Research
Whilst I don't usually like ghost stories, this has an interesting plot behind it, and I like both the acting and the effects in this.
Trigger Warnings: Death (Suicide) discussed; Jumpscares;

Ten Shots  by Gordon Shoemaker
When a local hunter sees something evil in the woods, all he has are ten bullets in his gun. Can he save anyone? Can he save himself?
Trigger Warnings: Death (Murder); Gore (Blood);

Red Skies  by Bret Miller
This sci-fi horror story is simple, but effective, telling the story of Earth's initial invasion and foreshadowing the doom soon to follow.
Trigger Warnings: Death (of Animals) alien;

Basement  by Jeffiot
This simple, short film is about a woman discovering a dangerous secret hidden within a film camera in the basement, and the subtle horror.
Trigger Warnings: Flashing Lights screen flicker;

Vikaari  by Synhedrion Studios
This fictional documentary is about a species of inhuman children, which seem to have evolved in response to violence.
Trigger Warnings: Bigotry; Death; Gore (Blood);

The Banishing  by Red Tree Pictures
This simple story of a girl haunted by a spirit becomes much more engaging with great atmosphere and interesting writing.
Trigger Warnings: Death (Murder; Gore (Blood); Violence (to Children);

Fetch  by Blanca Agudo Hernández
Want to make an "And Then a Monster Killed You" story fresh and interesting? Step 1: awesome cinematography. Step 2: Make the hero a dog.
Trigger Warnings: Death (of Animals) implied;

Slaughterbots  by The Future of Life Institute
This would be higher if not for the "PSA" at the end, but it is a genuinely creepy idea. And the message, if unsubtle, is worth hearing.
Trigger Warnings: Bigotry themes/implied (heavily); Death; Gore (Blood);

Remains  by Dylan Clark
This sad, dark exploration and grief and desperation is as sad as it is haunting and scary. What would a mother do to hear her dead baby again?
Trigger Warnings: Death (of Chidren) themes; Flashing Lights blinking colours; Jumpscares;

The Cat with Hands  by Halo Productions
A simple folk tale with some impressive effects and unsettling imagery, this story will haunt me for quite some time.
Trigger Warnings: Death (to Animals & Murder);

We're Not Safe Here  by Christopher Cox
I love a good campfire story, and this is one about a monster that can mimic your voice, with all the psychogical horror that it entails.
Trigger Warnings: Death off-screen; Gore (Blood); Jumpscares;

Bad Boy, Oliver  by Mr. Friend
This was just a really creepy story, but it also had an ending that I wasn't expecting and which made the story that much scarier, to me.
Trigger Warnings: Violence (to Children);

Selfie  by Digital Interference
This metaphor for the dangers of social media is elevated by incredible effects and a monster with a haunting way of hunting its prey.
Trigger Warnings: Gore (Blood & Bones); Jumpscares;

SomeThing  by Dan Riesser
A woman comes home to find a dead body. Has he actually killed an inhuman monster, or is he relapsing because he's off his medication again?
Trigger Warnings: Death implied; Gore (Blood);

The Portrait  by Cinemug
Zachary Padgett has channel full of talented filmmaking, but none if it truly captured my attention until I found this haunting story.
Trigger Warnings: n/a;

The Last Time I Saw Richard  by Mushroom Pictures
I came for the exploration of mental health, friendship, and mild queer themes, but stayed for the foreboding sense of helplessness and doom.
Trigger Warnings: Bigotry (Homophobia) implied; Gore (Blood); Violence (to Children & Self-harm) teenagers;

Garden Party  by ILLOGIC
I love the atmospheric storytelling in this story of nature taking over an abandoned mansion, as we slowly learn what happened to its occupants.
Trigger Warnings: Death; Gore (Flesh);

Imaginary Friend  by J. Sanchez Productions
I love a great mystery, and this story introduces a detective interested in the "monster" under her niece's bed, and what it really is.
Trigger Warnings: Death (General); Gore (Blood);Violence (to Children) themes;

Audio Guide  by Randominity
There's more to cosmic horror than tentacles and xenophobia, this short provides an example of how knowledge alone can be existentially disturbing.
Trigger Warnings: Death (General & Suicide) themes;

Moonstruck  by Telekinesis Entertainment
A simple idea (with cosmic horror roots) done in an exciting way... if you look at the moon, you will fall under its control
Trigger Warnings: n/a;

Dawn of the Deaf  by Shadowhouse Ltd
I love seeing different perspectives and after a sonic attack with only the deaf immune we see the struggles they face and must now overcome.
Trigger Warnings: Bigotry; Death; Violence (to Children, General & Sexual);

The Hunter  by Visionary Boulevard Productions
Some say the scariest monsters are human, because they're the only ones that truly exist. This short explores that with tension and drama.
Trigger Warnings: Death (Murder) implied;

Pelican Milkshake  by Skinner Street Films
I love the tension of a woman burying her husband being spotted by a recreational drone, forcing her to hunt down a potential witness.
Trigger Warnings: Death (Domestic & General); Gore (Blood & General);

Sophie's Turn  by Crypt TV
Some kids will do anything to be accepted, and it can lead to ridicule, but when demons get involved, nobody is truly safe.
Trigger Warnings: Death (of Children) implied; Gore (Blood); Violence (to Children);

Everything's Fine  by Rhodesclosed Productions
My opinion
Trigger Warnings: Death (of Children) implied; Violence (to Children implied;

The Relic  by J.M. Logan
My opinion
Trigger Warnings: Death; Gore (Blood, Bones & Flesh);

Here There Be Monsters  by Wanderer Films
This incredible Australian film explores themes of bullying and violence with a surreal twist, all with no dialogue and great acting.
Trigger Warnings: Death (of Children) implied; Gore (Blood); Violence (to Children);

Curve  by Lodestone Films
A woman awakens upon a slab of curved architecture, with no means of escape. There's also an alien/mystery elements, but I love the tension.
Trigger Warnings: Death implied; Gore (Blood);

Immure  by Uzong Films
I think it's clear, basic "werewolf/vampire" stories don't interest me, so this tale of a loner with a vampiric mother is fraught with drama.
Trigger Warnings: Death (Murder); Gore (Blood & Flesh); Jumpscares

Storytime  by Dylan Clark
MI said before, I love podcasts, and I love the way this fictional podcast starts to bleed into the reality of the listener.
Trigger Warnings: Death; Gore (Blood & Bone); Jumpscares;

Other Side of the Box  by Caleb J. Phillips
I enjoy a "Follow The Rules" horror stories, but they tend to be "Then a Monster Killed You" stories. Thankfully, this is not so pedestrian.
Trigger Warnings: n/a, it's all tension and implication, here;

Drone  by Action On The Side
Exploring the perspective of someone with a stutter, this uses sci-fi to dive deep into trauma and psychology of someone desperate to be heard.
Trigger Warnings: Bigotry; Gore (Blood & Flesh) if you don't like needles...;

Stalled  by Bonus Features
I like time loop stories and this one manages to be both compelling and scary with a simple, but effective mechanic. Story ain't half bad either.
Trigger Warnings: Death (Murder & Suicide) discussed/depicted; Flashing Lights; Gore (Blood);

Turned  by Vanishing Angle Productions
Like werewolves and vampires, zombie movies need a good twist; themes of motherhood and zombie virus hallucinations are a pretty good one.
Trigger Warnings: Death (of Children) implied; Gore (Blood);

Asleep & Awake  by Joshua Giuliano
This one is all about atmosphere, sound and cinematography. If you need a masterclass in tension, then this is it.
Trigger Warnings: n/a it's all about the atmosphere;

All You Can Carry  by London Film School
Another zombie one, but I like that this one is about a child protagonist. Seeing the world through his eyes is a whole new kind of fear.
Trigger Warnings: Death; Gore (Blood);

Thingamajig  by Skeleton Crew Productions
Stranded in a dimension of darkness, a man must find out how to combat the monsters in the dark. This is just a fantastic and creepy story.
Trigger Warnings: n/a;

Deep End  by Anthony Sellitti
The concept alone is just so creepy, a kid sneaking into a pool only to encounter an unnatural darkness beneath the surface
Trigger Warnings: Death (of Children); Jumpscares;

Vicious  by Oliver Park
This explores grief and anxiety as a woman is trying to come to terms with the death of her sister, as she now lives in an empty flat
Trigger Warnings: Jumpscares;

Whiteout  by Washington Square Films
A couple alone in a car, in a blizzard, on a road, in the middle of the woods, you encounter a sick man in the snow. What do you do?
Trigger Warnings: Death (Murder);

Cream  by David Firth
The creator of Salad Fingers has a lot of disturbing videos, but this weird concept is the first that has a truly compelling story to tell.
Trigger Warnings: Death (of Children) discussed; Gore (Blood, Bone & Flesh); Violence (Sexual) discussed;

In Sound, We Live Forever  by Joshua Giuliano
This is not only scary, but beautiful, telling the history of a crime scene in sound before becoming a more traditional horror story.

Trigger Warnings: Death (Murder); Gore (Blood & Bone); Jumpscares;

Monsters  by Dreaming Ants Productions
This exploration of a dystopian world is not what you were expecting, but it builds up the drama and tension to a crescendo well worth watching.
Trigger Warnings: n/a;

Caravan  by Sarah Brims
During a family road trip, two Australian parents must confront one of a parents worst fears... not knowing where their children are.
Trigger Warnings: Death (of Children); Gore (Blood); Jumpscares;

Somniphobia  by Silver Hero Entertainment
A sleep therapist who can walk through dreams helps a woman haunted by her nightmares. But nightmares aren't always a monster under your bed.
Trigger Warnings: Death omplied;Flashing Lights; Violence (Domestic) discussed/implied;

MORA  by Grimoire Horror
Inspired by Loab, the cryptid that haunts AI images, this short is about a man doing everything he can to find the ghost in the machine.
Trigger Warnings: Death; Gore (Blood, Bone & Flesh);

Winston  by Aram Sarkisian
Whilst madness is interesting to explore, it can be done so poorly, but this excavation of a man's paranoia and obsession is unsettlingly poetic.
Trigger Warnings: Death (of Animals & Murder); Flashing Lights; Gore (Blood, Bone & Flesh);

Riley Was Here  by Black Poodle Productions
Another strange exploration of zombies, in a world where zombification can be cured... but infection is a high unlike any other drug.
NOTE: This one appears age-restricted. I think because the main character is depicted in his underwear, the algorithm thinks this is porn or something. It isn't... but if the video below is just a grey box, click the link within the watch it on YouTube.
Trigger Warnings: Death; Gore (Blood & Flesh);

Backstroke  by Robbie Barclay
Such a simple, but effective idea. A girl is skinny dipping in a lake when a strange man with unclear intentions comes upon her.
Trigger Warnings: Death implied;

The World Over  by Nothing Rhymes With Entertainment
Another example of a story that explores cosmic horror by revealing that there are infinite realities, just beyond your doorway.
Trigger Warnings: Death (Murder & of Children again, unborn; Gore (Blood);

The Rougarou  by Lorraine Caffery
This follows a girl whose father got out of prison, and we watch her growing up in the mature world of crime, gangs and violence.
Trigger Warnings: Death (Murder); Gore Blood; Jumpscares;

The Sky  by Matt Sears
Another cosmic horror story, this one focuses more on the drama of two friends trying to find peace before the end of the world.
Trigger Warnings: Death; Gore (Blood);

The Kid and the Camera  by Grumbled Ink Entertainment
A great example of analogue horror, this old kid's show becomes more unnerving and disturbing, the longer you watch it.
Trigger Warnings: Death (of Children); Gore (Flesh);

Oscar's Bell  by Genesis Flux Films
A father, his son, and his dog are out camping in the woods. It's a beautiful night out... but there's a monster in these woods.
Trigger Warnings: Death (of Children) implied; Jumpscares;

It's Not About Fear  by Shotgun Productions
As someone with a mental illness, this exploration of trauma and vulnerability hits close to home. It's both horrifying and heartbreaking.
Trigger Warnings: Jumpscares; Violence (Sexual) themes/discussed;

Don't Die First  by Unchained Media
I don't usually like horror comedy, but this starts off with some campy 80s fun, messing with tropes. But it doesn't shy away from true horror...
Trigger Warnings: Bigotry (Racism); Death;

The Facts in the Case of Mister Hollow  by Rue Morgue Cinema
The second instance of a horror both scary and beautiful, but this also has hints at a mystery. Can you solve it before your time is up?
Trigger Warnings: n/a this is all music and (mostly) still images;

Maggie May  by Make Trouble Films
You are going to HATE this character... that's the point of this film and it's disturbing, but it has a strong message about right and wrong.
Trigger Warnings: Death (of Children); Gore (Blood);

Portrait of God  by Dylan Clark
Yet more cosmic horror. Despite watching hundreds of cosmic horror films, few captivated me in its religious horror like this short piece.
Trigger Warnings: n/a;

The Disappearance of Willie Bingham  by Guerin Group Films
In a world with a cruel and unusual form of capital punishment, criminals aren't executed, they just disappear...
Trigger Warnings: Gore (Flesh);

There's a Man in the Woods  by Jacob Streilein
Why is this animated "slam poem" the last on the list? Because I get shivers down my neck every single time I watch it.
Trigger Warnings: Death (of Children); Flashing Lightsflickering images; Gore (Blood);

— — —

So, that's my list. I hope you enjoyed it. If there's a short film you like which isn't on this list, feel free to include it in the comments below. But, after watching over 500 films, I think I watched it and excluded it for one reason or another... but this is my opinion, feel free to share what you want.

I'm the Absurd Word Nerd, and Until Next Time, I'm glad we got to watch a movie together before the end... we only have three posts left for this Final Countdown, there's not a lot of time left, so I'm glad we got to spend this time together. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow.