A Year to Remember

We live our lives taking each second for granted, but what would you do if you knew how much time you had left? Unus Annus. One Year...

If you understand that reference, then I hope you were one of the ones who was there at the very end. I still remember it, and it's something I don't think I'll ever forget. However, if you don't understand it, then you likely never truly will, but I'll do what I can to help you understand. 

On the 15th of November, 2019, Mark "Markiplier" Fischbach, and Ethan "CrankGameplays" Nestor, together created and uploaded the first videos to a YouTube channel called Unus Annus, which had a simple premise...

This channel, much like all of you, has a limited amount of time, and every day we march ever closer to this channel's inevitable doom. That means we'll be uploading every single day, until the clock strikes zero. And then it's game over.
Bye-bye. Finito. Finished. Curtains. Gone gone. Night-Night. Dead. Forever...

But this wasn't just a year of daily uploads. After the year was over, on the 15th of November, 2020, they deleted the channel and with it all of the videos they made throughout the year. My appreciation for this channel should be obvious, because they had a consistent motto for the entire channel's run... Memento Mori, which the duo translated as "Remember that you have to die".

It's exactly what I'm trying to do. Also, almost every episode ended with the ticking clock counting down for the end of the year and I do love a good countdown...

Now, I appreciate the way this channel inspired the die-curious to explore acceptance of mortality and letting go among the general public, and as a horror author I like how often this channel dipped into dark comedy and gallows humour. But, as much as I'm talking about this in a vaguely pretentious way, don't be mislead, this channel wasn't high-minded. For one thing it was called "unus annus" because it was meant to last one year. Such smart, big clever. Also, it wasn't like all of the videos were about death and grief.

The channel had videos about cooking with sex toys; ghost hunting; nude painting, and painting on nude bodies; drinking each other's pee; staring contests; goat yoga; cheese-making; axe-throwing in your own backyard; trolley problems and so many memes; getting tasered and pepper sprayed; simulating birth pains; pillow forts; mad libs; failing at multiple tasks; masochism; word salad & much more...

But, as silly as these ideas are, don't go thinking they were disposable. Every one of these videos was one that the creators wanted to make, and they were so often well made. They were so well edited, with music and graphics, and occasionally there were videos that were entire skits, or documentaries, with pretty high production value. They put in a year's worth of effort... then deleted it all.

But, if anything, that was sort of the point.

Yes, they occasionally dealt with the spooky and the morbid, but the show wasn't "about" death, it was about life. It was about enjoying life and creating memories. Also, whilst it was never their plan and it made creation more difficult, the Covid-19 pandemic and quarantine played a big part in the channel. It was a time of a lot of death and fear was overtaking the world, which was apt to the theming, but it also played into the reality of life that you can't plan for everything, sometimes things go wrong. Your life could change for the worse, and you could die at any moment...
And most importantly, when it's over, you can let it go.

My favourite video, because of the pure artistry involved in it, was one from the very last fortnight, The Truth of Unus Annus, where the channel came to accept its own demise...

It's time... Time's up. It's been quite a year, hasn't it? And now it's over...
What are you talking about? We've got all year, we've got so much time, it's a year! We've got all the time in the world... right?
That is... Wrong. I'm afraid that's very wrong. A year is many things to many people, but it's not forever.
No, that can't be right. We had all year. I mean, you can do so much in a year - we have done so much in a year. Okay, maybe we didn't spend every second wisely. But if we just had a little... ...more time. Just a little more to make the channel what it really could be. This year is not what we planned for, at all, it was all over the place and it was completely out of control. If we just have a little more time, and we're given one last shot, we can really...
NO. There are no second chances. There are no do-overs. You had your one year and you did the best you could. That's all we can ever really hope for.
Fucking bullshit! Just want a little more time... Just a little more FUCKING TIME!
No. Many have begged. Many have pleaded. None have succeeded. Some have more, Some have less.You had one. And now it's over. It's finally time to accept the truth.
It's time to say goodbye. Memento Mori... UNUS ANNUS

As silly as this is, it truly moved me, because whilst I think you need to have experienced the channel to truly understand the purpose behind it all, I think this encapsulated the kind of self-denial that leads to why we need Memento Mori in the first place. Even with such a short deadline as one year, we can still delude ourselves into thinking that it will be enough. That we have more time... but, we don't. Eventually it will be over, and now Unus Annus is over, and all we have left are the memories.

Okay, that's not entirely true. If you want a glimpse, you can find some funny compilations online of some of the nonsense that Ethan and Mark got up to, and they're very enjoyable. Also, if you look hard enough you can find a lot of Unus Annus videos online... but, I don't recommend that you do.

It isn't the same. And that's not just nostalgia. I mean genuinely the fact that it still exists means that it's not the same, it defeats the purpose. After the channel was deleted, Ethan said that whilst he didn't feel "okay", it was a good thing, it was grief because of how much the project had done... but Mark said that, when people asked him "why would you create a year-long project just to delete it?" his answer was, it will make sense when it's over.

And it's true. So much on the internet lasts forever, and it can give the illusion of infinite creation and growth. It gives the illusion of immortality.
And even if you weren't there to experience it, that's also a part of it... you can watch video essays and meme compilations of people remembering what it was like to experience. That is part of what it all meant. The loss is part of it.

I was there on the final day, when the channel was deleted, during the final livestream. They deleted the video and the livestream cut out. It almost didn't feel real, so I visited their channel and to my surprise all the videos were still there...
but this was just a technical glitch. I clicked on one of the videos, and it took me to an error screen. This last remnant was just a shadow of the channel. When I refreshed the page, it too was empty. Blank. Gone.

It was an odd feeling, because I had wondered if this was all just a marketing stunt, if they'd turn around and say "Time for Duos Annus, baby!" But, that's not what happened... it was actually over. And that's when it did all make sense. Having to come to grips with that feeling was uncomfortable, but ultimately it meant that Unus Annus, to me, became more than just the sum of its parts. It was a moment, and whilst I grieved its loss, I felt better for having been a part of it.

Y'know, there's only really one other time I've felt like that, and it was also on YouTube. I don't know if I talk about it much, but I am an avid fan of all of the Theorist channels...
Game Theory, Film Theory, Food Theory & Style Theory.

I actually started watching them from the very start. Twelve years ago, at time of writing. I started with the video about the Dark Secret of the Companion Cube from Portal, and I was hooked. I watched through all of the videos, and I loved it! I love silly, but informative educational content like that, and I became a dedicated fan. I've seen every video that they've ever released... (all except for GT Live, but that's because I don't like livestreams, especially ones over an hour long).

So, when Matthew "MatPat" Patrick announced his retirement, in Goodbye Internet, I was genuinely moved. I never realized until that moment how much the Theory channels were a big part of my life, but they were. I felt the same, that same loss, that same realization that the end was here. It actually brought me to tears. I didn't expect it, but I was grieving at this loss.
And the Theory channels weren't even over! They were just changing, and I am still a fan of them now, but this was something that I'd become used to and never expected. I know it may seem silly that a 30-year-old man would cry because his favourite Youtuber was quitting but it was a big part of my life that I had become accustomed to, and I was sad that it was over. 

Game Theory did that. Unus Annus did that as well. The Halloween Countdown is doing it too...
For me at least. The Halloween Countdown gets some pretty steady views, but I don't think it's an "institution" for anyone except me. If I'm wrong, feel free to leave a comment.

- 𖦹 -

Whilst not everyone was there to experience these things, and I don't know if anyone could ever do something like it ever again, I'm glad that this was a part of my life. I'm not sad that it's over, I'm just happy that I was there while it lasted...