Scary Tales for Children

I've never been a fan of trick-or-treating. It doesn't make a lot of sense to me, buying unhealthy food so that strange children wearing cheap costumes can come to your house and steal it from you.

Don't get me wrong, I mean, I get the concept behind it, that kids are dressing up like monsters, because of a multicultural mixture of mythologies that says Halloween is a time when evil spirits and monsters are more likely to roam this Earth because of... reasons (I think mostly having to do with religion), and you can stop these monsters and evil spirits from harming you or your family by appeasoing them with tributes and offerings. So, people dress up as monsters/demons/spirits, either as a representation of the evil you're appeasing, or as a parody of those monsters so as to trick people into giving them appeasement, so you give these costumed people offerings. But since these "representations/parodies" of monsters are children, you give them candy and stuff that kids like. That's why they say "trick-or-treat", if you don't appease them with a treat, they're supposed to trick or curse you, play tricks on you, and generally make things unpleasant for you.

So, it's a lot of weird mythology and American culture, wrapped up in sugar and child neglect, so I'm glad that it's not very common in Australia... but, things have started changing, recently.

I don't know if it's because of globalization, or media - but, to be honest, I blame Aldi. That's right, the grocery store chain ALDI. They've been around for just a few years now, and I remember the first year around Halloween, they started selling Halloween buckets. Y'know, little buckets for kids to collect candy in, with bats and pumpkin faces all over them.

And when Aldi started selling trick-or-treating stuff and people figured that since it was available, other people must be buying it and using it, which means other people must be celebrating Halloween by trick-or-treating. And then, because Aldi is a super-cheap store, they often sell stuff for like half or three-quarters the price of other stores (because they hire less staff, and have a really streamlined storefront), so other stores tried to compete, by selling the stuff Aldi sells for the same price - so, other stores started selling Halloween buckets, and trick-or-treat candy and lots more costumes for little kids. So, the infection is spreading...

So, more and more people seem to be trick-or-treating in Australia. And, I don't like it, because I don't like the idea of taking a dumb, American idea and adopting it warts and all. I like the Halloween Horror Party thing that's more popular here, that's what Australians do, if they do anything at all. Don't go to random people's houses, go to your friends houses, and share food there, and if you're old enough (or know someone who looks old enough), you can even drink alcohol and be merry.

But... that being said, I'm also shameless. See, I got this idea, two years ago...
Have you ever heard of Chick Tracts? They're comic strips from an Extremist Christian organization, and if you've never heard of them, I highly recommend you check out the Chick Tract readings by Hannah & Jake, since they make fun of them, making the hatred more tolerable. But after reading a few tracts you can see just how sexist, racist, homophobic, anti-Semitic, anti-Muslim, anti-Catholic, anti-atheist, anti-freedom, regressive and hateful they are. They are so backwards that they believe in the devil, witches and magic (yes, really), so Chick Publications absolutely hates Halloween, so if you visit the website for Chick Publications, Chick.com, it has a page all about how they use Halloween as a chance to give propaganda to children, and teach them that by enjoying Halloween, they're all going to Hell. So, they talk about all the different ways you can offer candy and chick tracts, or wrap candy up in chick tracts, or just put out an entire table of chick tracts without any candy, so people can, and I quote "choose their favorites".

Now, whilst I do enjoy scaring children, I highly disapprove of scaremongering, especially in the form of propaganda for bigotry, regressivism & religion.
And I was thinking, if not for the propaganda, that would be a cool idea, giving kids candy and something extra. I mean, it's Halloween, what if you gave kids a horror story for Halloween? I mean, I write horror stories, I'm sure I could write a better story than a chick tract... and that's when I had my idea.
     What if I gave out some short horror stories with candy?
Now, I don't approve of the candy aspect... but, I can't deny that if a child comes to my house this Halloween, they probably want candy. I mean, I've heard stories of people giving kids toothbrushes or apples for Halloween. Dude, that's a dick move. Whilst I disapprove of trick-or-treating candy, I much more highly disapprove of dick moves. So, I've written four different horror stories that are small enough that I can print them out on small pieces of paper, and I can staple them (carefully) to some pre-wrapped snack-sized chocolate bars, and hand them out to kids.

So, why am I telling you? Well... because of COVID-19 (of course).
See, here in Australia we have had very few cases (at least, not in this state), and so it's actually relatively safe for people to go around to other people's houses. Of course, I'm not going to be stupid about it. When I make everything, I'll wear gloves, and I'll put it in a container with a lid, and I'll make sure I'm not risking contaminating everyone by cleaning, and offering hand sanitizer, since there's no telling where children have been, and they usually have disgusting hands...
But, I'm lucky. Australia has fared pretty well, but if you're in say... oh, I don't know, America right now? Yeah, don't trick-or-treat this year. Stay home. Everyone is cursed with deadly lung-snot demons, don't go to strange people's houses and share space or air or food. And if you're at all high-risk, definitely don't let strange children come anywhere near your doorstep.

So, to encourage others to stay home, I figured that I would offer you all the same thing I'm offering the kids this year - some short, horror stories. Okay, I won't be giving you any candy, but let's be honest... I've only bought a few bags of chocolate anyway, and you can get chocolate at any time of the year! Besides, I didn't like the idea of this being about candy, so if you want to trick-or-treat, but can't, well hear's my treat for you this year...

These are the four, short horror stories I wrote for Halloween this year...

Mrs Warth’s Garden by Matthew A.J. Anderson The tennis ball bounces in front of me, then flies overhead. I turn to see it crash through a hedge.   “Shame,” says Paul, “that ball had good bounce.”   “What are you talking about? Go get it,” I say.   “I’m not going in there, that’s the Warth house!” says Paul, pointing at the dark, tall building.   “So what?” I say. “Don’t be a dork, go get it.”   “I don’t want get hit with her cane!”   “Fine. I’ll get it...” I say, shaking my head. I cross the road and head to the hedgerow. There’s a gap between two plants, so I step over the stone around the garden’s edge and head in. Behind the hedge, the branches are wild with thorns, but after edging past, I see the tennis ball resting by a statue. I head over and pick it up. As I stand up, I’m face to face with the statue... eye to eye. That’s when I realize, it’s not a gnome or a stone angel, it looks like a kid my age, and the detail is incredible. In fact, it looks a lot like me. I reach out and touch the shoulder. As I touch the cold and grey stone, colour and warmth slowly begins to spreads through it. I feel a cold chill down my back as the stone version of me comes to life.   “Thanks,” it says, with a cheeky smirk. You’re welcome, I want to say... but I can’t. I can’t speak. My whole body is stiff. The other version of me rips the tennis ball from my frozen fingers.   “Paul! I got it!” it calls out; then it steps around me and heads out of the garden, leaving me in its place.

Knock, Knock by Matthew A.J. Anderson It was getting late, so I decided we should try to trick-or-treat just one last house. There was one at the end of the street that didn't have a whole lot of decorations, but there was a bloodied body hanging from a rope in one of the windows, and they'd splattered red around the front porch. It wasn't much, but the lights were off, so you couldn't see how fake it was, making it pretty creepy.   "This one, then we go home, okay?" I said to my brother. He nodded, and put his eye-patch over his eye again. I went up to the front door and knocked, but as I did the door pushed open.   "Hello?" I called, but there was no answer from the dark hallway. I checked inside, but there wasn't a bowl of candy or anything. Just darkness. I stepped back and noticed a small button, so I rang the doorbell. After a moment, I heard a loud thump coming from one of the rooms. A minute later, a man with angry, bloodshot eyes came charging down the hallway, and swung the door open.   "What do you want?!" he growled.   "Trick or treat," I said, gesturing to my brother in his pirate costume. He held out his bucket with a smile.   "We don't celebrate Halloween!" snapped the man, slamming the door.   "That was just rude," I mutter, turning away. As I turn around and take my brother's hand, I just smile and say "Come on. Let's try another one."

The Bravery Club by Matthew A.J. Anderson My three friends and I were sitting around a table in the dark basement, with a ouija board lit only by a single lightbulb, but I wasn’t game to touch it.   “If you’re too scared, we can stop. Maybe throw more rocks at Mister Brume’s house,” says Jack.   “No no, I’m not scared,” I lie, staring at the board, “I helped catch Sarah’s cat, didn’t I?”   “Ha-ha, yeah,” says Theo, bouncing excitedly in his chair. “And we have the tail to prove it!”   “So come on, then, be brave,” says Jack, pushing the planchette towards me.   “Come on...” says Robert, “don’t tell me you believe in ghosts now, do you Danny?”   “Daniel! What’s going on?” calls my Mum.   “Oh no! Hide it!” I say, sliding the board away. I stand up as Mum walks down the stairs.   “Daniel? What are you doing down here in the dark?” she says.   “Nothing,” I say. “My friends and I were just...” I look at the table, but there’s just an upturned ouija board, and empty chairs.   “Mum... where did all my friends go?” I say.   “You can’t see them?” she says.   “No,” I say. Suddenly, she grabs me in a tight hug.   “Thank God! The medication must be working!” she says. “I’ve been worried sick about you.”   “But... my friends,” I say. I look around at the empty chairs again. I don’t know how I’ll do it, but I just hope I’m brave enough to bring them back.

Made with Love and Care by Matthew A.J. Anderson   “Don’t eat them all at once, now,” says Mrs Warth, her old hands shaking as she drops a handful of candy into my bag, “You’ll make yourself sick.”   “I won’t. Have a good night, Ma’am.” She grins and closes the door as I join my friend.   “See, I told you” says Karl, unwrapping one of the treats. “She gives you a whole handful!” As we keep walking, I reach into my bag and take out one of the candies wrapped in red cellophane.   “Do they taste good?” I ask.   “Yeah. Old ladies always make the best desserts,” he says, popping it into his mouth. I unwrap a chocolate, and it looks like a little flower so I pop it in my mouth and chew. It’s crunchy, and the chocolate tastes good, plus there’s something gooey in the centre, but I’m not sure what.   “What is it?” I ask, swallowing it.   “I dunno. Chocolate?” says Karl, eating another. I unwrap another one, and pop it in my mouth, but instead of chewing, I sit it on my tongue, to suck off the chocolate. It really is good chocolate. I roll it around in my mouth, and I feel something tickle the inside of my lips. I try to push it with my tongue, and it scratches my cheek, so I spit it out, and something black hits the sidewalk with a splat.   “Dude, gross! Don’t spit at me!” says Karl. I look at the black, slimy gob wriggle around, legs flicking wildly, until it rolls upright, and then the wet, black spider scrambles away into the grass.

These were fun to work on, and I hope you enjoyed reading them! And, if you're trick-or-treating this year, I mean... why? Please, stay home, unless you can do it safely. At least when I'm handing out candy, I can stay in my house. But, if you do, just be sure not to get too close to folks, bring hand sanitizer with you and wear a mask - heck, if you're giving out candy, feel free to turn away anyone not wearing a mouth-covering mask. Your safety is important, and so is the safety of the little kids coming to your door.
I know I'm safe since I was tested for coronavirus the other day, and it was negative, and I'm making sure the candy I want to give out is in a sealed wrapper, and I'm going to be taking precautions, but you do whatever is necessary to make sure you and everyone else is safe.

I'm the Absurd Word Nerd, and this is meant to be fun. Don't make it less fun by getting you or anyone else sick. I hope you enjoy these stories, feel free to share them around this Halloween - just make sure to leave the byline! I want credit for my writing; this is microfiction, not creepypasta - and Until Next Time, be safe out there everyone, and have a Happy Halloween...