There are exactly 62 books in the original series. so, I’m going to organize them into two lists. The Top 25 Best Original Goosebumps books & The Bottom 25 Worst Original Goosebumps books - and, since that leaves only a remainder of twelve, I’ll mention how each of those falls on the spectrum as well with some Dis/Honourable Mentions.
That’s right, we’re going to talk about every single book, what it’s about, and why I love it or hate it - we have a lot to get through, so let’s get started, starting with the Best!
First, some Honourable Mentions:
Calling All Creeps! [#50]
This one is a bit too silly to be called great, with the aliens and their goal of making people eat alien seeds. It’s pretty weird, all around, but I still think it’s worth a mention because, firstly, the ending is unexpected and actually kind of cool. And secondly, this is the first Goosebumps book I ever read - no joke.
Bad Hare Day [#41]
A magic-obsessed kid sneaks out at night to watch a magic show and faces bad consequences as a result. I kind of liked the idea of the kid stealing a magician’s bag, in fact that kind of inspired my Bag of Tricks story that I wrote when I was younger (and shared on this blog), but the plot relies too much on magic to score any higher here.
The Headless Ghost [#37]
This is kind of scary, kids going into a haunted house to meet the dead within. But, ultimately, this becomes kind of goofy, and the ending was just silly. Also, the writing was a bit poor here - I think because the characterization was a bit thin. But, a scary idea is a scary idea, so this at least earns a mention.
Ghost Beach [#22]
I think the best way to describe this is that I liked the story, except for all of the things that happened in it. I enjoyed the cool ideas, with the beach and strange kids, but the weird elements like ghosts eating random stray animals, and so many people having the same name - and don’t even ask about the cave-dwelling ghost expert.
My Hairiest Adventure [#26]
This one is quite goofy - I mention a few times, some of these stories are written entirely around the twist. This is so weird, most people have spoiled it. I won’t, but I will say, I both like and dislike this story, and it’s all because that ending is so weird. I appreciate that it did something different, but it was too different to be really great.
Say Cheese and Die! [#04]
This almost made the list. I like the idea of a camera taking creepy photos, even the idea of it being a misfortune-teller, bringing about the worst future. But, when you learn how to defeat it, it’s pretty tame. Not to mention, some of the plot is about who built the camera and why, and it is so bad, it’s awful, then so awful it’s amazing.
The Top 25 Best Original Goosebumps Books
25. The Girl Who Cried Monster [#08]
This book is kind of silly, but it’s fun enough to scrape its way onto this list. It’s about a girl who loves pulling pranks - especially making up stories of monsters to scare her little brother - which takes a turn for the ironic when she discovers that their local librarian is a monster. So, you get it, very much boy who cried wolf... I mean, it’s what the title is parodying, so it’s very bog-standard. But, despite how formulaic this premise is, I enjoyed this for the build-up. The librarian is shown eating flies and bugs, and later turtles and fish - and when he suspects that someone knows his secret, the implication that he might also eat tattling little girls is creepy enough that I think it’s a pretty good Goosebumps book. Of course, not that good, since the ending kind of sucks, but it’s good enough to take twenty-fifth place.
24. Chicken Chicken [#53]
This may seem weird (especially to readers of Blogger Beware, since Troy absolutely despises this book), but I enjoyed this story. Basically, two siblings come across a pretty young woman in black, who whispers the titular magic words into the main character’s ear, and so the girl slowly begins turning into a chicken throughout the story. Whilst some think it’s basically 100+ pages of child abuse, I’m used to scary stories having disproportional punishments; that’s practically a Goosebumps staple. But it’s this low on the list because even I admit that it’s a bit much after a while. But, I like how it took something as mundane as a farmyard animal, and managed to make it really creepy - and as the girl gets smaller and smaller, the book escalated in fear and conflict as it went along. Also, of course, it’s this low because the ending kinda sucks.
23. The Haunted Mask [#11]
A lot of people rate this one pretty highly - even R.L. Stine himself seems to. Basically, a girl gets a very creepy, ugly mask from a secretive section of the local costume shop. But, when she puts it on, she can’t seem to get it off. And it seems to be changing her on the inside, so that her personality reflects the monster that she now appears to be. This is a classic, and although a slow burn, I think this story works best building up piece by piece. It’s higher because the writing is better, and I think there’s a lot of adult horror to be found in the idea of a kid getting a stretchy, rubber headpiece stuck over their face. But it still leaves a lot to be desired in the conclusion, since it goes for a really cheesy resolution that even falls below Goosebumps standards (i.e. this ending sucked too).
22. Welcome to Dead House [#01]
Although this one has a lot of flaws, it has to be on the top of the list because I liked it more than I disliked it. It’s about a family moving into a large, mysterious new house in the town of Dark Falls, and the girl who moves in feels a bit unnerved - especially when the people around town start acting strange, and their pet dog starts to act scared when they go out of the house. This does have some early-installment weirdness, like odd chapter breaks, and the horror of having monster-people melt like candles in the oven isn’t something I’d expect to read in a book aimed at 12-year olds. But, I liked this story, and as weird as some of it was, I like how this series began. Oh, and finally, and ending that doesn’t suck! It was weird, but at least it didn't suck. It was just, kind of strange...
21. How I Learned to Fly [#52]
One of the things you’ll come across, if you start investigating Goosebumps, is that there are occasionally some well-written, but not-quite-scary books. This is one of them. A boy goes into an empty house, and discovers a book called Flying Lessons that can teach him how to fly - literally! He gains the ability to soar through the air. He uses it to impress some of his friends, but his new ability doesn’t stay secret for long. There are one or two scares, and I think there is one point when the kid is falling out of the sky for a moment, but otherwise this is just a good story about a kid who becomes famous because he can fly. So, it scores high for being a great story, but it’s not really a great Goosebumps story, which is why it’s so low on this list. Also, the ending not only doesn’t suck - it’s actually kind of brilliant. Definitely worth checking out.
20. Be Careful What You Wish For... [#12]
I really liked this story, and a lot of that has to do with the writing. In this story, a tall, awkward, lanky girl helps out a strange woman, who then promises to grant the girl three wishes for her kindness. After a wishing mishap, the girl realizes that the wishes will come true, but she struggles to find a way to make her wishes come true, without ruining her life in the process. Some of the writing can get really bad in these books (wait until the Worst list, ugh...), but the characters are written quite convincingly, and besides one or two strange moments, this plot fits together well, and the ending ties it up in a neat, little bow. It’s everything you could wish for in a Goosebumps story. Ha... puns.
19. How to Kill a Monster [#46]
Don’t let anyone tell you that nostalgia doesn’t play a part in their love of Goosebumps. In this story, two siblings are stuck in a house in the middle of a swamp, visiting family. But, their relatives abandon them to go “run an errand”, leaving them locked in the house right as a monster is let loose in the house. I fully admit, although there are a lot of weak elements to this book I read this in school in 1998, and I found it very compelling, even the ending - it was a great story to read in between classes. I loved the way the kids had to try to escape all while locked in the house, and although the ending is the kind of thing that should put it lower on this list, as silly as it is, I feel like it suits this story. You might not enjoy this as much as I did, but I still think it’s worth checking out for yourself.
18. Deep Trouble II [#58]
Although this series is “horror anthology”, occasionally the stories are part of a little story arch. In this story, we reunite with a boy and his younger sister, as they once again join their Uncle, Doctor Deep, on a marine science expedition - this time hunting giant fish. Although I usually prefer science-fiction to fantasy, this story is mostly about dangerous sea monsters as opposed to the preceding book, and it’s quite disappointing. Both books have engaging prose, some well-crafted scares regarding swimming, drowning, monsters and being trapped on a small boat out in the middle of nowhere. It almost sounds like I didn't like this book, but I really did, these were fun characters. It's just that this one is just less exciting, because it deals with less interesting monsters, so it’s harder to stay excited. It’s like a faded photocopy of the first book - still good, but rougher around the edges.
17. You Can't Scare Me! [#15]
I saw the Goosebumps TV show episode based on this book before I read the actual book, so I thought I’d hate this since I hated the episode. The monster is lectured to death. Good grief... But this is a little different. This story stars two pranksters who love scaring kids at school, but there is one girl in school who is totally unflappable, they can’t scare her no matter what - so, they decided to pull the biggest prank of all time. It’s a great premise, and a good excuse to deliberately explore fear, whilst also scaring the reader. The ending is a little unoriginal, but it’s still streets ahead of the stupid TV show version, and helps to cap off a pretty good story.
16. Werewolf Skin [#60]
When I first bought this book, the cover alone was enough to sell me on the story. I didn’t realize at the time that it was inspired by mythology. A guy and a girl discover that two of the people in their town are in fact werewolves - but what makes them change isn’t the moon, but rather a pair of creepy wolf-skin furs that they put over their body. This is more than just a weird idea, it’s inspired by old myths about werewolves and skin-walkers. But more than that, this story is so well written, following the two kids as they investigate and plan how to deal with this potential threat in their town. You can judge this book by the cover, since the contents are as cool as the artwork.
15. Ghost Camp [#45]
Sending kids to a sleep-away camp in your horror story is putting your best foot forward - since it leaves your kids isolated, often unprepared, alone & defenceless. In this story, two siblings join “Camp Spirit Moon” very last-minute, and show up at an empty site. When the other campers finally reveal themselves, they all act strange, weirdly unfazed by the ghost stories told by the camp leaders, or by the fog that rolls in each night. This story has a simple idea, but it’s well executed, and has enough strange and unexplained elements to keep readers on edge. I think some of the unexplained elements are a bit too weird, so that lowers the score here, but otherwise, this is a great horror story about a creepy summer camp.
14. Deep Trouble [#19]
I already mentioned the sequel, and this too has two kids on a marine science expedition - the same kids, in fact. What makes this one better, though, is that their uncle is working to discover what he can about mermaids. Come on, you have to admit that "mermaids" is a lot more fun than "bigger versions of regular fish". There’s also an interesting and somewhat realistic sub-plot about modern pirates, and it makes the story feel that much more scary and dramatic, but that premise alone is a pretty good starting point. But, what gets it this high on this list is that it still manages to be pretty creepy and thrilling. Not overly so, since most Goosebumps books just don’t do that, but it was enough that I was impressed. You don’t have to read the sequel, but this is a good book to dive into.
13. Piano Lessons Can Be Murder [#13]
Okay, I know that the ending is kind of weird and dumb... I know, but I don’t think you can get more quintessentially Goosebumps than this. A young boy is haunted by the sounds of a ghostly piano playing at night; but when he warns his parents about it, they discover the piano and book the kid in for piano lessons. Little do they know that their son’s new piano teacher, Doctor Shreek, is not what he appears to be. I always suspected that Tim Jacobus, the main artist for Goosebumps, drew the pictures first, and then R.L. Stine wrote a story to fit it - and that’s most evident for this book. But, I still very much enjoy the mystery and atmosphere of death and danger that pervades this kid’s music school, as well as the disturbing quirks of his teacher. The ending is very weird, but I kind of love it... it’s what makes this story so good. Definitely a must-read Goosebumps book.
12. Welcome to Camp Nightmare [#09]
I appreciate spoiler warnings, I think it’s good to see a twist for the first time in its proper context. However, some stories are written so that the story is just as good whether you know the twist or not, and this classic story is one of them. Summer camp seemed like fun, but the people running it are strange. They don’t care when kids get hurt - including when someone gets a snakebite! - and some kids tell stories about a secret, forbidden bunk, and how kids will sometimes disappear. This story is very much built around its twist, but I still enjoy the characterization and the escalation of just how strange this place can get, all of which helps to build up the mystery and how the kid is going to stay safe in this crazy place. Some people might hate it, because of the twist, but I think that the writing still holds up either way.
11. Return of the Mummy [#23]
This story doesn’t seem as original as its predecessor, but it’s still a pretty interesting read. A boy and his young sister return to Egypt to visit their Egyptologist uncle - as he is about to discover a new cavern in a pyramid - legend says a Egyptian prince is said to be buried there, but legend also says that the cavern was cursed. If you’ve heard of cursed mummy stories, you’ve heard of this, but I still think that this is very well written, and especially for a Goosebumps story it’s impressive how Egypt is more than simple set dressing, and you actually get a sense of the age, sands, culture and heat of the place. Also, I like the way the mystery and magic unfolds in this one - it makes it feel more real, to me.
10. The Curse of Camp Cold Lake [#56]
Yet another amazing cover wrapped around an amazing story... In this story, a young girl is sent to a summer camp, but she hates it - the “lake” is full of slime, she can’t seem to make friends, and she hates the outdoors - but it gets worse when, after an accident at the lake, she starts seeing ghosts. This is pretty well done, overall, especially with how eerie and cold the lake is. I really enjoyed how eerie this whole book was - and although it’s a weird word to say so many times, “eerie” is definitely the word to describe this book. And when you start to realize what the actual threat of the story is, this story can be genuinely scary. I don’t know what else to say except that you should check it out and see what the fuss is about.
9. Night of the Living Dummy [#07]
I recognize that dummies look creepy, but I think it’s a bit of a stretch to try to make them creepy. But, this story still managed to play around with the idea of these creepy, wooden doll-puppets and make something out of it. This is the story of two twin sisters, one of which finds a Slappy the dummy in a dumpster, but when her sister gets jealous she gets one of her own, called Mr Wood. However, this takes a sour turn when the new dummy starts acting of his own accord. I like how this story has something of a psychological aspect to it, but then when things get heated up it goes into a much more supernatural horror direction. See, the only “weird” thing about dummies is that they can talk, when you make them (even though everyone knows its you). So, when the dummy says such horrific things of its own accord, and people assume the girl is to blame, that’s probably the best and most story-rich direction you could have taken this.What’s most weird is that the main “dummy” antagonist of this story is the second dummy, Mr Wood. Slappy doesn’t do much at all throughout the story. I don’t know why people saw sequel potential in this, but it was a pretty good story nonetheless.
8. Phantom of the Auditorium [#24]
You might have noticed by now that something I enjoy are stories which don’t deal with magic explicitly, but rather toy around with it, or leave it vague. In this story, a young girl is rehearsing for a play that her teacher is producing, a script which was performed at their school once in the past with grim results. As opening night approaches, someone keeps sabotaging the play, and since the main girl and her friend are pranksters, they have to look into this mystery if they want to avoid being blamed. This story is obviously inspired by Phantom of the Opera, but it goes very Goosebumps by eschewing the romance for mystery surrounding the school’s past, and the auditorium being literally haunted, as opposed to the vagrant of the original, French story.
7. The Haunted School [#59]
Okay, you know how I say that some of these stories are weird? Usually, they’re weird because someone acts in an unnatural way, or the weird witch/ghost/monster of the book having some strange rules or traits that makes the plot go in a weird direction. This story is also weird, but in a way that makes the story much scarier. A kid and his friend get lost in their school after wandering through a creepy art display, for several kids that went missing. After one wrong turn, they find themselves trapped in a colourless world, with no possibility of escape. This story is weird, but not in a “huh, that isn’t how people act” way, but rather in an “oh god, that’s really fucked up, you’re in danger, someone help” kind of way. I can’t really explain that without spoiling the story - but speaking of the story, the plot all fits together quite neatly, and it makes for a great Goosebumps book. Definitely read this one.
6. Night of the Living Dummy II [#31]
I don’t actually like Slappy the Dummy, because he’s not so much a threat as he is a snarky jerk. But, in this story, Slappy is adopted by a new girl who learns ventriloquism so that she can be just as talented as her artistic siblings. However, when Slappy starts insulting her family and friends, and defaces her sister’s art, people start thinking that the girl herself is just a mean brat. So, you see, despite Slappy just being a jerk, I like this story because it plays to his strengths. This doesn’t go supernatural horror, it is 100% about psychological horror - Slappy is trying to ruin this girl’s life. People smarter than me have pointed out how the dummy/ventriloquist dynamic in this story might have domestic abuse themes, about a psychotic asshole controlling a young, desperate girl. Add onto that the fact that this story is actually about Slappy, and not some also-ran like Mr Wood, and this sequel is actually better than its predecessor. It’s the last good story in the Dummy series, but it’s good enough to be in the top 10 best Goosebumps book.
5. The Cuckoo Clock of Doom [#28]
Remember how I said that some stories are sort of “good, but not that scary”? Well, this story is kind of like that, since the idea it plays around with here is more cool than scary (in my opinion). When his dad gets a new grandfather clock, our main character finds a way to get back at his sister by defacing the cuckoo bird in the clock and blaming his sister for it. However, the next day, he wakes up and its yesterday - time is going backwards! So you see, like I said, a cool premise. But, this scores high for two reasons. Firstly, it does manage to be scary, since not only does the kid get weaker and smaller as he de-ages, but the idea of becoming so young that you become unborn - meaning that he will basically cease to exist - is a scary idea to a kid. Secondly, this is basically a time travel plot, and watching someone experience time backwards gradually is a cool idea - but it’s not all fireworks, there is a plot here, with the kid trying to find out where a thing will be based on where it was in the past. A cool idea, executed well, and although it’s kind of cheesy, the ending was still kind of fun. Definitely worth your time.
4. The Ghost Next Door [#10]
This is a weird story, because it’s a Goosebumps book. In this story, a girl discovers a new boy living next door, but she never saw him move in, and he acts strange. Things take a turn for the strange and supernatural when she notices that his hands can pass right through her, and she starts to see dark, ghostly figures on her street. What makes this story weird is that it is so well written that it almost feels too good to be a Goosebumps book. In fact, that's the only reason why I don't rate it higher on this list: it's a great book, but it's not really scary or cheesy enough to be a great Goosebumps book. As you can (hopefully) see by this list, Goosebumps books aren’t bad, but this is another story written around its twist, and when you understand what it is that you’re reading, it becomes a bittersweet, hauntingly beautiful story moreso than a scary one. I don’t recommend it if you want to get into Goosebumps, but I do if you like good stories in general.
3. The Curse of the Mummy's Tomb [#05]
What makes something quintessentially Goosebumps? I’ve used that phrase twice, so I should explain - to me, Goosebumps is about taking something classically scary, properly scary, but making it a little milder, then serving it to kids with a side of cheese. In this story, a kid goes to Egypt to visit his uncle on a pyramid dig, and although he’s scared of the old tombs, he bought a small, fake mummy hand in America called ‘the Summoner’, which is said to have magic powers. See, to me, facing off against a mummy... with a little, probably plastic fake hand, that is totally Goosebumps. This story explores Egypt, bandaged zombies, curses & ancient ruins, all with a silly, young American boy that is constantly getting lost, and being teased by his young sister. A great example of what Goosebumps should always be, and why it can be both fun and scary.
2. Stay Out of the Basement [#02]
Take something scary, and serve it with a slice of cheese - it’s the winning Goosebumps recipe - and since this is a winning story, how does it manage to follow that formula? This story is about two kids who become worried when their mother goes off on a trip, and their Dad starts acting very strange - they think their dad is turning into some kind of monster. But not just any kind of monster... an evil, monstrous, plant! Yes, plant. You take a creepy premise of a person being mutated into a monster, like The Fly, but instead of insects, you make it a houseplant. But this is so high on this list because this story actually manages to make it scary, and despite the wacko premise, the story is so affecting because the monster is their Dad. As a young kid, you rely on your parents for safety, so the idea that your parent can’t be trusted is a deeply disturbing idea. Plus, the ending to this is done pretty well, and although as an adult I can see it coming a mile away, this wasn’t written for adults, so I’ll give it credit for doing it so well anyway.
1. The Werewolf of Fever Swamp [#14]
I basically scored these books, not by quality or theme or merit - I simply went through the list and asked myself “which of these books did I prefer to read?” and despite comparing it with every other sbook on this list, I decided that this is the book I enjoyed reading the most. In this story, a family moves out to a swamp so the parents can conduct a survey of swamp deer, when the kid finds a nice dog that he decides to call Wolf, and keep as a pet. However, the family learns about some of the local legends, of the creepy swamp hermit, and monstrous howls heard at night, and when an animal starts attacking their property, the kids start wondering just how much of those legends is true. First of all, this has several of your Goosebumps cliches such as having just moved house and parental scientists. Also, this follows the recipe with something scary - werewolves - served with a slice of cheese - the parents suspect that the pet dog did it, and decide to deal with the problem, shotgun style. That may not sound cheesy, and I admit the fact that it’s so dramatic is why this rates so highly, but “a boy and his dog” is the starting premise of a lot of child-friendly films. But, of course, the main feature that scores top spot here is the fact that I think the story is actually scary - there’s actual blood and death in here. Sure, they’re animals, but I like animals, and it really makes this threat feel real. Plus, I think the ending is really cool.
Anyway, that’s the first half of the Original Goosebumps - the greater, more readable half. Of course, anyone with a list of books and a pen can find out which books are on the worst list, but please, come back tomorrow to find where they fall on a scale from “really silly, but still kind of fun” to “this is why I’ve included R.L. Stine in my suicide note”.
I’m the Absurd Word Nerd, and Until next time... reader beware, you’re in for more scares.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Feel free to make suggestions, ask questions & comment . . .
I would love to read your words.