Faking a Sickie - Part 3: The Prejudice Plague

For the sake of this blog, I've discussed horrifying diseases from Film & Television, and intriguing diseases from Culture & Folklore. But today I will conclude this series on Fictional Diseases with some of the most disgusting diseases that I've ever come across. Not because of the disease itself, in fact, none of these diseases are fatal, and some have very mild symptoms. However, these diseases all exist because of the bigotry of the doctors that invented them - yes, you read that right doctors, these are fake diseases created by doctors to explain away their own prejudice.

I've discovered ten of the most biased medical diagnoses I could find (five are just weird, and five that are much more serious). There are many more out there, but these ones stood out for what they said about the society from which they came. So, without further ado, let's start with.

The A.W.N.'s Top 5 Weird, Bigoted Diseases

i. Bicycle Face
What it isn't: This affliction is caused by excessive cycling. Due to either the strain or excessive windshear, it causes the face to become flushed, or pale, causing a gaunt expression and thinning of the lips; most prominently it caused dark shadows under the eyes, and wrinkling to cause an expression of weariness at all times. Whilst this could affect middle-aged men, it was a much higher risk amongst women and young girls.
What it is: It's just an attempt to stop women riding bikes in the late 1800s, by scaring them into thinking it would make them ugly. The truth is that men were terrified at the thought of women riding bikes, not only because it gained them independence but especially because they feared the act of straddling such a small seat that was sometimes in indirect contact with the genitals would promote sexual immorality and masturbation. In truth, riding a bike isn't going to do anything to your face, unless you're riding very fast against the wind, or you fall off of it.

ii. Brain Fag
What it isn't: Firstly, that's not a typo (don't get this confused with brain fog); rather, brain fag, also known as neurasthenia, is a mechanical weakness of the nerves caused by excessive thought and stress, associated with the pressure of academic study or the fast pace of living in an urban environment. Common symptoms are poor sleep, difficulty in concentrating and retaining information, head and neck pains, headache, high blood pressure, depressive moods and eye pain. 
What it is: In reality, this was little more than regressivism towards metropolitan growth, and blaming the city for being too fast and unnatural for human life. I do admit to having a metropolitan bias; I much prefer cities to rural areas since they seem much slower - and I do know that living in the city does offer hazards to one's health (especially due to air pollution and light pollution). But this diagnosis claims that "thinking too much" and "living a more fast-paced life" as a result of living in the city where there are more things to do, at much greater density, was so discombobulating to the human brain that it started to break it. That's just dumb.

iii. Cello Scrotum
What it isn't: This discomforting disorder was an irritation of the scrotum, commonly afflicting male cellists who play excessively, especially those who played for several hours a day for continuous days. Whilst precise details are lacking due to the reticence of those afflicted to talk publicly, it is believed that the unusual posture, as well as the vibration during play, can lead to swelling, redness and pain of the scrotum which can only be relieved with rest.
What it is: This was a joke at the expense of doctors. Dr Elaine Murphy, a doctor and subscriber to the British Medical Journal, and her husband both burst into laughter when she read about a condition called "guitar nipple" in one edition of the BMJ. Thinking that this was a nonsensical, and that the editors of the journal were gullible fools, Murphy sent in a letter signed by her husband, claiming first-hand knowledge of this fake malady. It was only 35 years later, when Dr Murphy learnt that her unsubstantiated claim was still being passed around as fact that she admitted the hoax publicly.

iv. Railway Spine
What it isn't: This was a common ailment of passengers who survived railway accidents - which were very common in the early days of railway transport. Also known as Erichsen's Disease, this affliction often involved symptoms such as a sore neck, psychosomatic pain and stress. It is believed that this was either caused by physical damage to the spine and brain, or perhaps hysteria.
What it is: This is just a case of railway companies refusing to help victims. People who had experienced a train crash were often left with phobias, post-traumatic stress or internal injuries. However, railway companies would often dismiss cases out of hand if the person didn't present with an obvious, physical injury. So, doctors devised Railway Spine to explain the myriad of non-visible symptoms of trauma such stress disorders, persistent nerve pain, physical trauma & distress. If companies just accepted that they should give people proper compensation for nearly killing them, then this diagnoses might never have been suggested.

v. Wandering Womb
What it isn't: All women live with a symbiotic, parasitic entity within their bodies, known as a uterus. This creature can become unsettled within the body, if not properly taken care of, and can reach up towards the thorax, prolapse downwards, or shift left or right to disturb the liver or spleen; this causes all kinds of aches, pains and illness within a woman's body. If left unchecked, it can even begin to suffocate, causing it to thrash about around the body, leading to hysteria. As the womb is a gentle beast, that approves of lovely fragrances, and is disgusted by fetid odors, the only treatment is aromatherapy to scare the creature from its displacement, and coax it back where it belongs with lovely smells.
What it is: This is just ancient misogyny, trying to explain women ailments being due to the dangerous, alien nature of women's bodies. And, in hindsight, I do have to say it is kind of hilarious. I didn't make any of that up, they used to think that the uterus was like a grumpy pet that could be coaxed back home with treats. Of course, since its home is just above the genitals, I feel sorry for all those poor women who literally had to eat garlic and vinegar, or had flowers and things shoved up their vagina in an attempt to cure something that is so obviously stupid.

The A.W.N.'s Top 5 Worst, Bigoted Diseases

5. Syndrome K
What it isn't: This is a very unusual disease, as the symptoms are nonspecific, but are highly virulent and thought to be similar to tuberculosis, meaning anyone afflicted needed to be quarantined away from any and all persons, especially figures of authorities. It was most prevalent in Germany, between 1939 and 1944. Although not much is known of the symptoms, it seemed to exclusively affect partisans, former fascists, deserters, prisoners of war, German traitors and Jews.
What it is: First things first, the reason this is so low on the list is because it may not be true - but if it is, what it is is a sneaky way to save people from the Nazis. Fatebenefratelli Hospital in Rome is a real place that helped to hide any and all people from fascist dictatorships, but it's not known if knowledge of the term 'Syndrome K' was widespread. However, within the hospital, refugees often had their paperworks marked with a 'K', which stood for Koch, which was the tuberculosis sector of the hospital, as no authority figure was allowed within quarantine, so this is where they hid them. So, 'Syndrome K' was essentially a joke within the hospital, to refer to their method of fooling fascists and the military. And this is a very sweet story, so enjoy it while it lasts, because the rest of these are much more depressing.

4. Sluggish Schizophrenia
What it isn't: This is a very rare form of schizophrenia, which has identical symptoms to schizophrenia, but a much slower progression - hence why it was also known as slow progressive schizophrenia. This diagnosis was most common (and in fact, was exclusive to) the USSR and several Eastern Bloc countries. Some people are at a high risk of this affliction, namely political dissidents, and so were often diagnosed prior to exhibiting any symptoms.
What it is: Fascism by the Communist regime to silence dissent. Essentially, when someone was "diagnosed" with sluggish schizophrenia, it was because they either disagreed with the politics of the time, or were associated with those who did. After diagnosis and being discharged from hospital, these people they lost their civic rights, their credibility and even their jobs. This was just a way to punish anyone who wasn't towing the party line, by labelling them as insane Not only is it disgusting for those fighting against a fascist system, but it's also disgusting that mental illness was seen with such stigma that people agreed with this treatment.

3. Autogynephilia
What it isn't: There exist some men that are aroused by the thought of engaging, sexually, with another man, or by wearing women's clothing; and there are even some men who claim to be women in men's bodies. This is a simple mental disorder, caused by a sexual fetish to engage in deviant, gender-crossing activities, homosexual intercourse, or even the desire to have a feminine body, causing those afflicted to seek out sex reassignment surgery.
What it is: Do I even need to explain that this is transphobic? For starters, it ignore trans men completely, but if anything those guys are lucky - the claim here is that non-heteronormative gender identity is nothing more than a fetish. I have no doubt that some transgendered people find the idea of their transitioned bodies to be sexy, but that might have something to do with the fact that they don't feel sexy the way they are? But this whole concept throws out the idea of gender identity, social constructs, neurophysiological dimorphism and twin studies, not to mention the entire spectrum of transgender sexuality for the sake of claiming that gay men, and women assigned male at birth, are just thinking with their penis.

2. Hysteria
What it isn't: Women can be highly emotional, irrational creatures, but in some extreme cases they can be brought down with a devastating affliction which is both common and chronic among womenfolk. At one time thought to be caused by a peregrinating uterus, or a demonic possession, this is now understood to be a disease of the brain. It has a wide variety of symptoms, including (but not limited to): Anxiety, Breathing Difficulty, Fainting, Fluid Retention, a "Heaviness" in the abdomen, Hypersexuality, Increased or Decreased Libido, Insomnia, Irritability, Loss of Appetite, Nervousness & (most prominently) a "tendency to cause trouble for others". There have been some claims regarding a "male hysteria", hysteria masculina, but this is a hotly debated topic.

What it is: The wandering womb was ancient misogyny, this is mid-century misogyny. But instead of shoving flowers and perfumes up their genitals, instead we were just shoving women into insane asylums. Whilst the understanding of human anatomy (and therefore also female anatomy) had advanced to the point where we didn't think women's internal organs were meandering monsters, women were still seen as inherently emotional, feeble-minded, irrational & inexplicable. These days, we understand that hysteria does not exist, and in cases where women aren't simply being dismissed, "hysteria" symptoms are explained by anxiety, borderline personality disorder, conversion disorder, and schizophrenia [and I should point out, exactly none of these are either exclusive to women, or caused by biological sex].

1. Drapetomania
What it isn't: This affliction, somewhat related to dromomania, is the unnatural desire for freedom with the most common symptoms being an absconding from work, or in dire cases running away. It most commonly affects members of the Negro race, especially slaves. It is related to Dysaesthesia Aethiopica, which is an insensitivity of the skin, common amongst dark-skinned people, resulting in a lack of desire to work or follow commands (treated by washing, oiling and then flogging the skin). There are only two known cures for drapetomania, one is a stern and violent whipping; but, in extreme cases, the only cure is the amputation of the patient's toes, so that they are unable to run.
What it is: It's fucking disgusting is what it is, but in academic terms this is known as scientific racism. For what I hope are blatantly obvious reasons, slaves don't like being slaves. However, if at any point they act obedient and subservient, they were treated as "crazy", and would be beaten, tortured or mutilated as a result, to force them into submission. Thankfully, this was only a widespread belief amongst the Southern States of North America, and was openly mocked by those in the North; but, that doesn't stop the fact that many unfortunate men and women were beaten and tortured because of the ridiculous belief that one race can be "better" than another.

So, that's the last collection of fictional diseases that I'm looking at for this Countdown, and I must admit that it was eye-opening just how much the field of medicine and science has been intruded by bigotry, prejudice and hatred over the years. Just a few years ago, during my 2018 Halloween Countdown, I discussed prejudice and how science has been used to torture people over the years. I'm not going to start dismissing science, or judging it as evil, but it's always a sobering fact to see that something I hold in such high esteem can be used in such dreadful ways.

But this isn't just the end of this list, it's also the end of my Faking a Sickie series, exploring Fictional Diseases, and how they're used to scare, intrigue & disgust. I hope you've learned something, as I certainly have in the course of this research. And keep in mind, for several of these they were simply the diseases that I managed to do research on, but these are by no means the only fictional diseases out there. I highly recommend that you do some research for yourself to see what else is out there in the world of unfactual afflictions. All of this started because I was curious where 'cooties' came from, and the more research I did, the more I learned and wanted to share with you.
I wanted to see whether people could dream up fictional diseases worse than the real ones, but as today's list has shown, even a fake sickness can be harmful.

I'm the Absurd Word Nerd, and while this series is done, we're not yet done with the Halloween Countdown, as there are two more days before Halloween! So, until next time, I'm going to finish off those posts and prepare for the big day; and please, try to stay healthy out there...

Faking a Sickie - Part 2: The Legendary Lurgy

Today, I continue my exploration of Fictional Diseases. I've already discussed diseases which horrify us from Film & Television, but today I want to talk about another kind of fictional disease. Rather than diseases we made up to scare ourselves, I want to look at diseases we made up to inspire us, to cause awe or intrigue.

This is odd to explain, so in simplest terms, rather than specific "horror" diseases from film & TV, I'm looking at more generic "fantasy" diseases from folklore and culture.
Most specifically, I was intrigued by diseases which seem to come from several sources, as opposed to just one - as well as some realworld psychology, history and biology which might explain what inspired these ideas in the first place (also, I couldn't think of a way to organize this, so I've gone for alphabetical). Again, I fear I'm not explaining this well, so rather than continue to try to tell you what I'm talking about, let's just get right into it.

LEGENDARY SICKNESS, AND WHERE IT (PROBABLY) COMES FROM

Brain Fever
Symptoms/Treatment: Brain fever is a physiological/psychological condition which affects the brain, causing severe overheating of the brain matter, resulting in death if a person cannot allow their brain time to cool. This is caused when someone experiences extreme, emotional upset, When a person becomes too upset - often caused by fear, grief, pain, panic or nightmares.
Common symptoms include exacerbated feelings, manic and frantic behaviour, loss of coherent speech, fever and/or sweating. As well, some patients claim that the heat of brain fever causes the brain matter to lose cohesion, and as a result causes a sensation of their brain "melting" and dripping from the ears or nose (although this is most likely a delusion brought on by the fever itself, and their own sweating).
If left untreated, this disease can result in long-term brain damage, or even the death of the afflicted patient. Known treatments are bedrest, cool showers or baths and other means of lowering body temperature, and creating distance (physical or mental) between the afflicted patient and any stimuli which triggered their initial fever.
Distribution/Source: Victorian literature contains several references to the affliction, often as a psychological condition brought on by stress or grief. However, the term is rather vague, and it appears to have been used in non-fiction works to refer to other neurological conditions such as cerebritis, meningitis, viral encephalitis or scarlet fever.
(Potential) Origins: The disease which has the most similar symptoms appears to be Encephalitis, a swelling and inflammation of the brain often caused by viral infection or brain trauma. Common symptoms include headache, fever, seizure & vomiting; or in prolonged cases, delirium, hallucination, loss of coherent speech, loss of hearing, memory loss & seizure. I believe that this is most likely the cause for belief that brain fever can be fatal, However, the affliction which most likely inspired this cultural disease would be the broad psychological concept of the Nervous Breakdown. - as this is a broad term, I would specify, it appears to specifically relate to persons with a predisposition for neuroticism suffering from a panic attack or manic episode, due to environmental triggers. In Victorian times, mental health was not well understood, and the concept of someone losing mental stability because of emotion, environmental triggers or trauma likely didn't make a great deal of sense - so explaining it in simpler terms "when brain thinks too much, brain gets hot" sounds a lot like common sense (which is one of the reasons why it's wrong), and whilst it sounds silly now, I don't blame people at the time for trying to understand why people might become overwhelmed due to emotion, and trying to help them, even though their efforts were misguided.

Cooties
Symptoms/Treatment: Cooties refers to a species of bacterium which infects the patient's skin and internal organs, and in some extreme cases can be prevalent on the person's clothing or belongings. There are at least two naturally occuring forms forms of the disease, the most common is known as pigelus, tjejbaciller, tyttöbakteeri, or "girl germs" is epidemic among females, especially children. There is a rarer strain, known as drengelus, killbaciller, poikabakteeri or "boy germs" which exclusively grows on the skin of male children, especially prior to puberty. There is a third form which appears to randomly affect children of any gender or sexual orientation, which appears to be comorbid with a child's own natural strain of this bacterium.
Whilst afflicted with ones own native strain of this bacteria, children can live normal lives, although girls infected with girl germs have been reported as having poor muscle weakness, hand-eye co-ordination and a fragile emotional state, causing them to "throw like a girl" and "cry like a sissy"; whereas boys infected with boy germs have been known to show heightened levels of aggression and mild learning disabilities, causing them to "act mean" and "be stupid". Although information is limited on the third strain, it has been known to cause unusual behaviour, shyness and may be comorbid with certain physical or learning disabilities, causing them to "act like a weirdo" or "be the freaky kid".
If a child touches another infected child, and their form of cooties interacts with their own, this condition is believed to cause unusual reactions resulting in possible disability, homosexuality or other forms of gender-nonconformity.
The only known treatment is through vaccination, often in the form of a cooties shot - this is either provided by re-administration of the child's own native bacteria species from someone of their own gender or social group (often administered with a specific rhyme) or in some countries it is administered with a retractible ball-point pen. This completely eradicates the foreign bacteria from the child's system.
Distribution/Source: Yeah, I had a bit of fun writing this one - this is simply a feature of child playground mythology. It was first encountered in the 1950s, after the polio epidemic, and although I haven't been to school in a while, I believe that it is still prevalent to this day, although modern and progressive lessons regarding prejudice and its ills has, helpfully, reduced this disease's spread.
(Potential) Origins: Although it became popular during the Polio epidemic, the disease has no symptoms that in any way resemble polio (except for the potential vaccination). I feel the disease most resembles Parasitosis, any infection spread via parasite, although some research claims that soldiers used to refer to "lice" as cooties, but I think that's a case of lice being named for cooties rather than vice versa. Whilst "it's like parasites" is even more vague than "nervous breakdown", it's more apt in this case because in reality, Cooties doesn't seem to have any symptoms. For that reason, the actual cause of Cooties is simple - Prejudice, even the "symptoms" I've listed are just juvenile sexism, ableism and homophobia. Cooties a simple game of "us vs. them" exclusivity, because in a mixed-gender school, the most obvious form of difference between students is sexual dimorphism, especially since most schools have gender-specific uniforms. In my experience, the homophobia isn't as prevalent now as it was when I was in primary school, but it nonetheless takes times for kids to better develop their empathy to a point where they don't think "difference" is the same thing as "sickness" or "wrongness".

Hanahaki Disease
Symptoms/Treatment: Hanahaki disease is a parasitic infection of the lungs and throat by flowering plants. These plants grow within the lungs, or in some rare and dangerous cases the heart, occasionally spreading through the stomach and mouth, which causes difficulty breathing, chest pains and the coughing up or regurgitation of (often bloodied) petals, or even whole flowers, from the mouth. This is caused by the patient feeling unrequited same-gender love for another person who is unaware of their affection.
Symptoms often worsen over time, but can be exacerbated due to proximity with the patient's subject of desire, or extenuating circumstances such as the subject of desire's relationship status, and the patient's own shame for their feelings. The condition can last for months or even years, and if left untreated often results in death by blood loss or asphyxiation.
There are only two known treatments. The first is the reciprocation of the patient's affection from their beloved subject. The other is surgery to remove the plant, which will also remove the patient's love for their subject of desire. A third potential treatment would be a natural loss or lessening of affection, but as this disease tends to be produced from very strong feelings, I have yet to see any proof that this treatment is effective.
Distribution/Source: The original source of this disease was fanfiction, particularly Japanese Yaoi fandom, slash fiction as well as Yuri fandom - often of anime & manga. This is the reason for the name, as hana (花) means "flower" and hakimasu (吐きます) means "vomiting". Over time, this has spread to the West, with several examples in both translated Japanese media, as well as original, English-language fanfiction.
(Potential) Origins: I can see only two potential origins for this concept. The first is Aspergillosis, which is a fungal lung infection, where a species of Aspergillus fungus causes chest pain and difficulty breathing, as well as the coughing up of blood. Although fungus is not a flowering plant, as it's technically not a plant at all, this is a bit of a stretch, but there is a clear correlation in symptoms. The second cause is simply Lovesickness. In the real world, love (especially manic or unrequited love) can develop strong and even painful feelings, with symptoms including chest and heart pain, difficulty breathing, dizziness and vomiting, so it makes perfect sense that someone would want to represent that in the form of a disease. I'd have to therefore assume that the reason why this seems to affect homosexual lovers exclusively is either because of the social stigma, forcing someone to keep their feelings hidden. Or, it may simply be a way to kill off gay characters in a painful, but romantic way.

Morgellons Disease
Symptoms/Treatment: Morgellons is a skin condition that results in fibrous or "hairy" growths under the skin which causes redness, severe itching and discomfort, and in some cases lesions as these fibres grow out and protrude from the skin.
There is no known treatment, as there is little research regarding this disease, and what research has been done has thus far been counterproductive in finding proof of this disease, its cause or its cures. Thankfully, this disease is not fatal, and although quality of life suffers due to the constant itching, with palliative care patients can live a long and fulfilling life.
Distribution/Source: The original source of this disease was one woman, Mary Leitao, who in 2002 insisted that her (at the time) two-year -old son was suffering from an undiagnosed and unheard-of disease. After aving eher findings repeatedly disputed by doctors and disproven by researchers, Ms Leitao created the Morgellons Research Foundation to raise money for research, as well as to raise awareness of this disease.
(Potential) Origins: As this is a very recent "disease", and has been queried by several doctors and researchers, this is the most well-documented disease on this list. So, this isn't mere speculation, actual doctors have provided two potential explanations for this disease, the most prevalent one being Factitious Disorder Imposed on Another; more commonly known as Munchausen's Syndrome by Proxy, this is a psychological disorder whereby sufferer's willingly prescribe an illness to someone in their care, to fulfill some psychological need for attention, acclaim or control. However, Leitao's son isn't the only sufferer, apparently several people claim to have this disease, and doctors suggest this may be caused by Delusional Parasitosis, or the chronic delusion that bugs are crawling over, or under, a patient's skin causing itching and can bleed from excessive scratching. But wait, if all these people are delusional, how do we explain the hairs or fibres under their skin? well, according to tests done on these fibres, the fibres are cellulose, and are consistent with clothing lint, which gets into the wounds after the skin is broken.
 
Spontaneous Human Combustion
Symptoms/Treatment: Spontaneous Human Combustion is when a person, without external heat sources, flames or sparks, suddenly ignites and burns with such an intense flame and heat that their body is incinerated, leaving little more than soot, ashes and charred fragments of bone - although in several cases, remote parts of their body such as hands and feet are left with smoking stumps but are otherwise unaffected. The flame burns hot and fast, such that the victim doesn't have the opportunity to react, and the area around them is often only minimally damaged, as the flame burns out before their surrounds can catch fire. This is a relatively rare condition, as there have only been 200 cases on record. Although the exact cause is not known,some have suggested that static electricity or the heat of gut bacteria may be involved in the initial spark; as well, the consumption of alcohol has been linked to several cases, which alongside body fat and methane may be involved in providing the fuel of these blazes.
Distribution/Source: This is the subject of urban legends, and due to hearsay has also been portrayed in fiction (e.g. Redburn by Herman Melville, Dead Souls by Nikolay Gogol & Bleak House by Charles Dickens). But, there have been several cases of people dying from intense fires without any known source of ignition. So, who's to say that Spontaneous Human Combustion doesn't exist?
(Potential) Origins: Yeah, I'm gonna say that this is total nonsense. Yes, humans are surprisingly flammable, Not only are there only do some flammable gasses like methane and hydrogen exist in our digestive tract, but animal fat burns well, which is why it was once used in making of candles in the form of tallow. People used to theorize that alcohol caused a chemical reaction, because alcohol was involved in so many cases - but do you know what else alcohol causes? That's right, drunkenness. It's my belief that Alcoholism is the main cause of this affliction. Not only because alcohol itself is flammable (spill a little on your shirt, and it will ignite easier), but in excess it makes you sluggish, unresponsive and lower one's inhibitions to do dangerous things, like, sleep close to a fireplace -and yes, burning fireplaces, lit cigarettes and even stove-tops have all been involved in purported cases of "spontaneous" human combustion. But, even when they don't, it's just not believable that the human body could just burst into flame apropos of nothing, because,humans don't ignite. We're almost 70% water, and fire requires energy - in the form of heat or a spark - to alight, and the human body cannot accidentally create that much excess energy in a single point. Which leads me, sadly, to my second potential cause of this - instead of accidental, there may be some cases where this was on purpose. I'm talking about suicide, in the form of Self-Immolation. Some people when they take their lives want to act out and "send a message" or be remembered. One way they choose to do that is to die in a way that's "enigmatic", without an obvious cause, in the hopes that it might be remembered, but it's a whole lot of pain and suffering for nothing - even the Wikipedia page talks about religious rights and martyrdom, but that's giving this more respect and reverence than it deserves. To me, it's just sad that anyone would think that the most memorable part of their life would be the end of it.

[No one, least of all me, was expecting me to talk about suicide, so if you (or a loved one) is feeling suicidal, or depressed, know that there's nothing shameful about asking for help, and help is available, you can speak to someone who can help you, today.]

Anyway, that's my list for now; but, y'know... there's a another kind of unreal sickness out there. I've talked about fake illness that disturbs, I've talked about false ailments that intrigue... but next up, I want to talk about some fictional afflictions that cause actual, physical harm.
I'm the Absurd Word Nerd, and until next time, I'm going to be doing more research on human prejudice, and the bad science that can come from it...

Faking a Sickie - Part 1: Silver Screen Syndrome

I've been doing a lot of research on disease, viruses and sickness lately, to find out incubation times and transmissibility data as well as the morbidity of a great variety of infections and illnesses. My goal has been to find a collection of diseases which are not only as bad as the current plague of COVID-19, but may even be worse.
Now, I've already talked about some real diseases, but that's not what I'm talking about today, that would be much too educational - no, I've been researching fictional diseases. See, in all of our history, we've had to deal with disease, and either we've not been able to understand it, so we've had bad science; we've been intrigued by it, so we've come up with all kinds of strange fantastical versions of it, or we've been scared of it, and made up all kinds of horrifying examples of it.
So, I've deciding to have a look at all three  of these kinds of "fake diseases" that we all know and love (or, in some cases, loathe), and what they say about us, and how sick and twisted we all are.
Today, I'll be starting by looking at the latter of the three - virulent diseases we make up to scare ourselves, particularly in film & TV, in the hopes of finding some of the worst diseases that come from the minds of visual storytellers. Unfortunately, some of these stories aren't very realistic, but that's why I've been doing my research and seeing how they would realistically affect the world - and for this reason I have not included supernatural sicknesses, this means no demonic damnations; ghostly hauntings; vampire envenomings; witch's spells or zombie voodoo unless they can be explained scientifically, or science-fictionally.
I'm looking for science and not magic, because when magic is involved, it's less of a "sickness" and more of a "curse", which is not the subject of this Countdown.
Much more importantly, I've been cataloguing and grading these illnesses for how they would compare to the current illness that is sweeping the globe. this isn't a list of my favourite disease films - to be fair, I both like and dislike several of the shows I've included in this list - I'm only concerned with how dangerous they are. that said, there are a few diseases which I was intrigued by, but which I couldn't include for various reasons, so without further ado, let's get started with...
Dishonourable Mentions

i. Motaba Virus (Outbreak)
Virulence: 100%, Bloodborne (Zoonotic); 100%, Airborne
- In this film, the carrier is a capuchin monkey, it is asymptomatic, but virulent. Later, we encounter a mutated form that is airborne.
Incubation: ~4 Hours
Infection: ~1 Day
- We see people last for several hours after contact with the infected subject (monkey) without any symptoms, but within a day they start experiencing symptoms and start dying.
Symptoms: Flu-like Symptoms; Rashes & Lesions; Vomiting; Diarrhea; Haemorrhagic Fever & Organ Failure
- If there is a part to this movie that is most realistic, it is this. The symptoms of Motaba virus were inspired by Ebola virus, specifically haemorrhagic fever, vomiting and diarrhea. it's a horrendous disease, and a terrible way to die, and that's what inspired this film to be made.
Lethality: 100%
- This is ironically what is meant to make this movie seem incredibly scary, but in reality it's what makes it less so. Allow me to explain...

+

This film is pretty good, considering when it was made. It was co-written by Laurence Dworet, who used to be a medical doctor prior to becoming a screenwriter. I can see why he turned to writing however, as he doesn't seem to understand how viruses work. Yes, the film is rather creepy and it's well-made from a narrative standpoint, as it builds up in the right places and does a good job at presenting the virus as a villain... but this virus doesn't make any sense.
I can see why it sounds scary at first glance. 100% virulence, and 100% lethality. Ooh, scary... but, the reality is that when a virus is that deadly, it ironically becomes less harmful.
When viruses are spread through a human vector, they need us to survive, because the only way they can live and spread is through coughing, breath, fluid exchange, touch & you can't do any of that when you're dead. Think of a virus like a miner - it wants to spread through fertile ground to dig up minerals, but if a miner digs too much or too haphazardly, they will collapse the mine. Motaba is like a miner whose only tool is dynamite, all it does is collapse mines.
Later in the film, the virus becomes airborne, and that's definitely more worrisome, but it only occurs after the virus has somehow, magically spread across the world, despite starting in Africa which doesn't make any sense. Whilst this film has the virus spread, in reality it would simply kill everyone it infected too quickly for it to spread, and by the time it mutated it would only have dead bodies to feed on. For that reason, it only makes the dishonourable mentions.

ii. MZD Virus (Zombieland)
Virulence: ~10%, Foodborne (Zoonotic); 100%, Bloodborne
- This was originally spread by an infected burger, and so it is believed that this is a prion disease or something similar, much like Mad Cow Disease. The initial "foodborne" virulence is so low, based entirely on the fact that this disease was first spread by "a man who ate an infected burger" - as fast food restaurants tend to make several burgers out of one lot of beef, it is presumed that more than one burger was infected, but only one man became sick as a result.
Incubation: ~2 Hours
Infection: Incurable
- According to some of the narration, this is initially foodborne, and it took approximately one day to affect patient zero after consuming an infected burger, but every following infection happens within an hour or so after being bitten by an infected subject, as shown on-screen.
Symptoms: Encephalitis; High Blood Pressure; Cyanosis; Delirium; Brain Trauma & Pathological Hunger
- The encephalitis, and neurological conditions are based on the actions of the infected. Cyanosis is a discoloration of the blood and skin, often caused to poor oxygenation of the blood, and I added high blood pressure due to the prevalence of blood splatter in this film.
Lethality: ~100%*
- There is good reason to believe this virus kills very quickly. However, there is more to consider.

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This is an odd potato, because although this film is called 'Zombieland', and the film expressly calls them zombies, and even the virus is called MZD - Mad Zombie Disease; it's not immediately clear that these creatures are zombies.
Based on the name alone, it's reasonable to assume that MZD is a mutation of Variant Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease which is a prion disease caught by eating infected beef that results in psychiatric problems, behavioural changes, pain, dementia and death. A prion is a misfolded protein mutation which spreads its malformation onto similar proteins, causing its malfunction to spread. This can take years to completely spread through a host's brain and lead to death.
Whilst the science here is interesting, prion diseases spread thoroughly throughout your body's proteins slowly but surely, which is why it tends to affect not just behaviour, but also balance, emotions, motor control, speech & vision - it is a slow and dreadful affliction.
As well, I noticed at the beginning of the film, it is stated that the zombies have taken over "The United States of Zombieland" for two months...
See, there's a simple reason why I don't include zombies on this list - and it is because the science doesn't make any sense. We think that zombies are braindead, but you require a brain to walk, run, see, growl and bite things in any way to produce an effect. Although zombies can't still sing and dance, they need a brain to do the animalistic things they do. Not to mention, zombies are able to wander around for weeks, months and even years without adequate food, which means they're breaking the first laws of thermodynamics - you need energy to put anything into motion. After three weeks without food, any human being would die. And you may say "what about them eating people?" well, we know they don't consume them fully, because if they did there wouldn't be many zombies. Plus, raw meat takes a lot of energy to consume, and that's assuming that zombies even digest it at all, because I've never seen a zombie poop... my point is, zombie apocalypses don't make sense, and that's why MZD doesn't make it onto my list.

iii. Trans-Network Ghost Virus (Pulse)
Virulence: 100%, Cybermemetic; 75%, Electromagnetic
- Yeah, you read that right. This one spreads over computer networks and radio signals. I really wish this one could have been included, since it's such a fascinating concept, but as I explain below, there are extenuating circumstances.
Incubation: ~5 Days
Infection: ~2 Days
- Once exposed to the infectious meme, the victim begins to experience symptoms within a week. Then, after the first attack, the target dies in as little as a day.
Symptoms: Paranoia; Delirium; Dysphoria; Suicidality; Bruising; Necrosis & Multiple Organ Failure
- Once exposed to the meme, the subject experiences heightened paranoia and delusion until they suffer a phantom episode. Following this, the subject loses the will to live, and becomes suicidal. If this persists, the subjects body will begin to breakdown, resulting in bruising all over, until their whole body disintegrates.
Lethality: 100%
- Yeah, this is where I have to start admitting the truth. I watched this film, and in the first half, I was excited that a lot of what was happening onscreen could be explained by a strange virus that could transfer from human to computer. But, the way that these humans die is that they are walking and talking, and then when they decide they want to die, their body disintegrates into ash. Yeah, even I can't explain that one scientifically. So, how is all this possible? Well...

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All cards on the table, the way this virus works is that it downloads a ghost from the internet, and that ghost attacks you by absorbing your life energy, literally taking all of the joy and energy out of your life. I freely admit that this is a cool movie. I mean, I've seen all kinds of apocalyptic movies: dragon apocalypses; machine apocalypses; monster apocalypses; vampire apocalypses & zombie apocalypses - but never before have I seen a ghost apocalypse. This was interesting to watch, but the idea of ghosts (let alone an afterlife that is compatible with computer networks) is an entirely magical concept, there's nothing scientific about it.
But, it's not entirely mad - it's surprising the things you can do with light, anything from optical illusions and lightbox therapy all the way to causing seizures - it would be interesting to see if there was a scientifically viable way to create a harmful internet meme... if you're a writer, I wholeheartedly offer that to you as a challenge. However, for the sake of this list, because ghosts don't exist it only gets an honourable mention.

iv. Flesh-Eating Bacteria (Cabin Fever)
Virulence: 100%, Bloodborne (Zoonotic); 100%, Waterborne
- This virus is first noticed in animals, in particular dogs and pigs, but when an infected man falls into the local drinking water, many more people become infected from drinking the water.
Incubation: ~12 Hours
Infection: ~1 Day (+Post Mortem)
- In the film it is shown that a little over 6 hours after exposure to infected blood, and 1 day after consuming infected water, the targets begin to show symptoms. It's also known that the disease survives after death, as the infected corpse is what leads to the waterborne infections.
Symptoms: Rashes; Rapid-Onset Necrosis; Internal Haemorrhaging & Multiple Organ Failure
- The initial symptoms appear to be rashes and necrosis, as the virus digests the victim's flesh, then it gets deeper into the victim's organs, causing massive haemorrhaging, and inevitably organ failure. Interestingly (to me anyway) based on one scene where a woman butchers a hog before finding infected blood on its organs, it appears that pigs suffer from internal haemorrhaging first. So, it could be the case that this disease infects your organs first, but slowly, without a great deal of pain or it could be the case that it affects humans differently.
Lethality: ~100%
- Technically, although three pigs, two dogs, a man in his forties and four twenty-year olds all contract this virus and all of them die, the three pigs are slaughtered and all but one of the human characters are all murdered, and the last of them dies from a dog attack. So, technically, only one of these outright dies from the symptoms of this disease - patient zero, the dog. Based on their symptoms, it appears that all of the victims (except maybe two?) are dying from their symptoms at their time of death. So, I'm making an educated guess as to the disease's true lethality.

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Is anyone else bothered by the fact that the titular "cabin fever" does not present with fever-like symptoms? Well, I am, for two very important reasons. Firstly, I don't like it when a movie's title is inaccurate but, more importantly, the reason this bothers me is also the reason why I didn't include this on the main list is because based on my research... this isn't fictional.
Necrotizing Fasciitis is a disease that occurs when bacteria infects a subject, causing bruising, rashes, peeling of the skin and other symptoms like vomiting, organ failure and fever. Sure, it doesn't always result in fever, but what's important is that viruses don't usually spread easily from host to host - viruses need to have a particular shape or protein in order for your body to accept it into its cells, but bacteria can affect all kinds of animals, including dogs & pigs.
So, I'm left to conclude that whilst dramatized quite considerably (it is possible for skin to peel off without first turning black, especially in cases of Toxic Shock Syndrome, but it's less common), this is otherwise realistic. Because this one isn't fictional enough, it doesn't make the list.

These are the TOP 5 Fictional Diseases worse than COVID-19

5. Blue Virus, "Captain Trips" (The Stand)
Virulence: ~99%, Bloodborne; ~99%, Airborne
- Like so very many more of the other diseases I researched for this project, this disease is a bioweapon engineered by the American military.
Incubation: ~6 Hours
Infection: ~4 Days
- This film begins on June 13th, late in the day, and the first on-screen death is shown to occur on June 17th. And, according to the CDC, the entire world is infected and billions die in as little as two weeks.
Symptoms: Cough; Fever; Skin Discolouration; Lesions; Delirium & Rapid Onset Asphyxiation
- Initial symptoms are identical to flu - which is why this disease is occasionally called Superflu [I don't know how the virus gets the name Captain Trips, as it wasn't explained in the miniseries, but I am left to assume it's because of the delirium it causes]. As it continues to develop, the fever worsens and the patient develops severe pustules and lesions on their skin, worsening pain and delirium. I also read online that common symptoms include "swelling", "sneezing" and "crippling pain", but none of those were evident in the show (unless I missed a sneeze), so I left them off my list.
Lethality: ~99.4%
- This number is so exact because this miniseries gives me some great data regarding this virus. In as little as two weeks, billions of people on Earth are dead, as the virus has spread globally within a week.

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I watched the 1994 miniseries, and honestly it's a little confusing. The opening scene heavily implies that several corpses of scientists had died almost instantly. However, everyone else in this film that gets sick dies after a few days. So, were they afflicted with a fast-acting strain? Did the initial virus mutate to kill slower? Were they poisoned to keep this secret? ...or, did the director think the scene was cool, and not bother to explain it?
Either way, this virus kills by asphyxiation, in fact it's disturbingly similar to coronavirus in that sense. But what makes it worse is firstly that it is said to have "99% permeability" - I'm lead to believe that relates to particle size, which means that facemasks would be useless, and it may also explain why it spreads as far as it does. The main reason why this is so low on this list is because it is clearly shown in the miniseries that the government hides any and all evidence of the virus, and this severely hinders any possibility of a global health response, which is why it decimates the world population. Although I can be quite cynical, especially regarding the American military, I find it impossible that every single authority - including the CDC might I add - would keep a deadly and rapidly-spreading superflu a secret. I know this is a horror story, but that is just dumb.

4. Extraterrestrial Bacterium (The Andromeda Strain)
Virulence: 100%, Airborne
- The initial source was a small satellite, yet once the bacteria get into the air it manages to kill an entire small town.
Incubation: Instant
Infection: ~1 Minutes +Post Mortem
- According to the film, this bacterium is highly efficient - even compared to a "nuclear reactor" - so I'm lead to believe there's no incubation, as the bacterium attacks the atomic structure directly to feed on energy. As this atacks on an atomic level, not a cellular level, there's no chance for the immune system to respond. I'm also lead to presume that those infected die very suddenly, as victims appear to die in the middle of everyday activities.
Symptoms: Mass Thrombosis, Pain, Delirium & Sudden Death
- This bacterium kills anyone and everyone it comes into contact with by clotting their blood so severely, that it essentially turns your blood into a powder.
Lethality: 99+%; 0%
- The only people who survived infection were those with alkalosis - blood with unusually high pH levels, leading to alkaline in the blood - as this kills the bacterium. According to my research, less than one percent of the population suffers from alkalosis every year, which is why the lethality is so high. When this bacterium cannot find organic matter, it mutates and begins to decompose plastic.

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Based on my complaints regarding Motaba Virus, it may seem odd that I am putting a disease which kills you in as little as a minute. However, there are two major factors which make this infection much more dangerous and capable of spreading, and therefore worse than coronavirus. Firstly, this is airborne - and based on the film, it is capable of spreading several kilometres through the air, which means any breathing creature within the radius of initial infection is at risk of immediate death. Secondly, this bacterium is shown to not only spread through any and all organic matter, but when it cannot find any organic matter to consume, it mutates to consume inorganic matter. It also absorbs any form of energy and uses it to create more of itself. the only way to stop it is with alkaline, but according to my research the leading cause of alkalosis is hyperventilation, and the leading cause of hyperventilation is chronic anxiety... which means that most survivors would probably be stressed out of their minds.

3. Trixie Virus (The Crazies)
Virulence: ~50%, Waterborne; ~95%, Airborne; ~50*, Bloodborne
- In the 2010 film, this is a rhabdovirus that is first spread through water and, based on the quarantine we see, almost half of the townsfolk are fine. But, when we return to ground zero, almost everyone is infected and we're told the virus has mutated and is now airborne.
*This is the most circumstantial data that I have, as there's very little data of the virus spreading via blood. However, the risk must be rather high, based on the actions of the military in this film.
Incubation: ~1 Days
Infection: ~3 Days (+Post Mortem)
- For those infected, they are asymptomatic for a day, give or take 12 hours, but we are told, and I quote "in three days, either you're dead or you don't have it".
Symptoms: Fever; High Blood Pressure; Aggression; Cerebral Haemorrhage & Delirium
- Most of these symptoms, I included based on the actions and characteristics of the infected subjects (except "fever", as that's based on dialogue. We're expressly told that the infected suffer from fever, as that's how the military tests subjects). However, I added cerebral haemorrhage based on some information I got from the special features on the DVD. I hope that doesn't count as cheating, but I figure it simply helps to explain the aggression and delirium, and may be the cause of death.
Lethality: ~95%
- Based entirely on the "you're dead or you don't have it" quote, it is hard to tell whether people who live have survived the virus (and are therefore immune) or if the statement is claiming that you were never sick in the first place. I am lead to believe that this virus is very deadly, so I am leaning towards the latter, but I can't be sure as the dialogue is ambiguous.

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Why is this worse than coronavirus? Two reasons. Firstly, because this has three vectors of infection. You read that right, this is waterborne initially, mutates to become airborne and (based on the fact that the military burns all bodies), it is certainly also bloodborne. Unlike other diseases mentioned above, the bloodborne vector isn't as worrisome as it doesn't cause the subjects to bleed, but it's serious enough that the military is taking zero risks - and an airborne virus is always risky. The second reason is simple, it messes with your head. It doesn't just kill you outright, it turns you paranoid and aggressive; or it makes you act numb and suicidal or, in some cases, it turns you psychopathic. Not only is it disturbing to lose yourself, but as this film makes very clear, it puts everyone around you at severe risk, especially when weapons, tools and heavy machinery get involved.

2. Rage Virus (28 Days Later)
Virulence: ~100%, Bloodborne (zoonotic)
- This virus was based on a genetically-altered ebola virus, and was a failed attempt to design a treatment for chronic aggression.
Incubation: ~20 Seconds
Infection: ~30 Days (+Post Mortem)
- As we see in the film, after a drop of blood comes into contact with one victim's eye, he becomes symptomatic with alarming speed. Also, there is information which implies that the sufferers stay alive until they starve to death in thirty days, hence the timeline for infection.
Symptoms: Chronic Aggression; Delirium; Inhibited Brain Function; High Blood Pressure; Vomiting blood & Internal Haemorrhaging
- I added High Blood pressure because of the blood splatter in Zombieland, but for this film it's actually a known symptom - the aggression severely raises blood pressure of the victims. Also, on more than one occasion the victims are seen spewing blood, which helps to spread the virus.
Lethality: ~0%
- This virus doesn't kill its victims, and although quality of life takes a sharp decline, if anything the Rage Virus appears to make its victims more resilient.

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This is an interesting one. I've included it in this list because, although most people see it as a "zombie film", there are no undead monsters in this film. There is some information which leads me to believe that the monsters portrayed in the sequel 28 Weeks Later are dead, but even so, that film had a different writer/director pair, so I'm focusing on this film's canon separately - and in this film the patients live. That's what makes this so much scarier than coronavirus. You don't die but instead become a mindless killer, spreading disease, and (based on the amount of haemorrhaging, bleeding and screaming we see from the infected), in constant pain.
This is also part of the reason why I didn't include zombie viruses and the like - this whole list would just be zombie viruses or vampire bites, since you can't stop an infection that keeps its human vectors spreading disease after they die or grants its sufferers superhuman abilities. But, having your brain damaged so severely that you lose the ability to reason sounds much scarier than death.

1. The Chesapeake Bug (The Bay)
Virulence: ~100%, Waterborne
- This bug is a naturally occuring isopod which mutates due to the highly contaminated water in the Chesapeake Bay area (hence the name). It appears to infect anyone who consumes the water, or who swim in the water.
Incubation: ~2 Hours
Infection: ~9 Hours
- The first victims appear in the middle of a Fourth of July celebration, happening in the middle of the day, and the first confirmed deaths happen later that afternoon and continue on into the night.
Symptoms: Vomiting; Blistering; Lesions; Joint Pain & Internal Haemorrhaging
- The most disturbing part about all of these symptoms is that they're not viral or bacterial. The reason this gets so high on the list is because it's parasitic. The blistering and lesions are caused by the larvae of a parasite burrowing into the skin of victims. The initial vomiting is caused by parasites burrowing out of their stomach, for those who consume the parasite. Then the joint pain and internal haemorrhaging are just caused by the parasites burrowing through their internal organs. One factor which I wasn't sure how to describe is that these creatures have a particular taste for the victim's tongue - often eating it down to nothing.
Lethality: 100%
- Once you consume the water which contains the eggs or larvae of this creature, you're no longer a person, but a feedbag for these creatures to consume until they reach maturity. Once they grow to their full size, approximately 2-inches long, six-legged bugs, they will eat their fill, then leave and seek out ocean water (at least, that's how the bugs in the film act).

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The grossest part about this bug is that it's not entirely fictional. The timeframe, and the taste for human flesh, is fiction, and this is based on a fictional mutation of a real creature - but this isopod is Cymothoa Exigua - this mutation which I choose to call "cymothoa e. claridgi" is based on a bug more commonly known as a "tongue-eating louse". Their larvae travel into the gills of fish, and as they mature the louse will consume and replace the tongue of the fish, so it can feed on the blood of the wound as well as food matter in its mouth. Obviously, the scriptwriter for this film saw that horrorshow and exaggerated it for the sake of the movie, but it's horrifically real. The reason why this is the top of the list? Because the louse matures and runs off to join its fellow lice in the water - the ocean water. Whilst the initial bugs are mutated due to the waste, chicken crap & radioactive material in the water, the bugs themself feed on meat. There's nothing stopping them from spreading oceanwide, especially once one of them finds a whale to feed on.


As you can see, there are some things worse than this current plague... all you need is to use your imagination. Although some of these are based on real ideas, real diseases - of course, that begs the question of what kind of things we dream up when we're less horrified, and more intrigued; sliding further down the scale from applicability to allegory - it makes me wonder just how sick we all are.
Until Next Time, I'm the Absurd Word Nerd - and I'll be looking for some more fictional diseases which are a lot less visceral, and a lot more cerebral...

What Could Be Worse (than Coronavirus)?

This year has been pretty frustrating, all around - there has been so much death, disappointment, disgust, fragility, pain & suffering - and as well as all that, we also have the coronavirus plague. But, let's look on the bright side, it could be worse...
I can already hear you: "But, Absurd Word Nerd, what could be worse than Earthquakes, Ebola, Economic Crashes, Explosions, Fascists, Fire, Hong Kong Persecution, Human Rights Violations, Ignorance, Impeachment, Locusts, Murder, Neo-Nazis, Protests and Trump?"
And wow, you really have been keeping track of the news, it would probably take me an hour of research to memorize all of that, so well done you. But, rest assured that whilst, yes, we do have... all of that, at least COVID-19 isn't as bad as it could be. Yes, I know, it's absolutely devastating, and at time of writing it's killed over over a million people and rising, and even those who survive can suffer from long term affects, which at best may be some post-traumatic stress, but at worst could be long-term physiological effects including damage to the lungs, kidneys, heart and/or brain.
Sure, all of that definitely sucks, but see, there are actually worse diseases out there, which you and I could get right now. Okay, maybe not "right now", since some of them you need to go outside for - but there are real diseases, and you can get them, and yes they are worse than coronavirus. So, don't you see, it's not so bad? It could be so much worse.

Y'know what, you don't seem convinced, so let explain this in detail. I just did a little bit of research, and I found eight diseases which are way worse than coronavirus, which you could have, but don't... actually, you might now that I think about it, since some of these are horrifyingly common - BUT! I can guarantee that you definitely don't have all of them, because most of them are very deadly, so even if you do have one of these (and genuinely, I am sorry, I hope your family is at peace), just cross that one off the list and begin with these:

Dishonourable Mentions

i. Fatal Insomnia
What is that, exactly? This is a prion disease, caused by a mutation of gene-encoding proteins in the brain which causes a reduction in glucose production by the thalamus, and a mild hypo-metabolism of the cingulate cortex. As the thalamus is a part of the brain important in regulating sleep, these imbalances cause an inability to sleep.
And how is that worse? Well, this diseases takes away your ability to sleep, at all, and you kind of need to sleep. What research I've been able to do says that symptoms come in four stages. In stage one, which lasts for about four months, symptoms include bouts of insomnia that worsens over these months, which causes panic attacks, paranoia and agitation. In stage two, which lasts five months, insomnia worsens, panic attacks become more frequent, and the patient begins experiencing hallucinations. In stage three, which lasts just three months, the patient will become chronically insomniacal, unable to sleep at all, which causes hypnagogia, and is followed by rapid weight loss. In stage four, the final stage, the patient suffers from dementia, and in the last six months may become unresponsive or mute, catatonic or with involuntary muscle movements until their inevitable death.
Can I really get this? Technically, yes... but, it's not likely. This is a rare disease, which has two types. The most common familial fatal insomnia (fFI) is passed down genetically, and there are 40 families which have been known to share this gene, in the entire world. However, the second kind, sporadic fatal insomnia (sFI), appears to be caused by a random mutation of the same proteins, and there have only been 24 people (that's single persons, not whole families) recorded as catching this disease in medical history. So, yeah, you can get it, but it's not likely, which is why this doesn't make the list proper.

ii. Alzheimer's Disease
What is that, exactly? This is a neurodegenerative disease which is believed to be caused by abnormal amounts of amyloids and other proteins in the brain to encroach upon otherwise healthy brain cells. These protein deposits, known as "neuritic plaque" inhibit the normal function and chemistry of the brain, which causes a neurotransmitter deficit, inevitably resulting in a progressive loss of brain function.
And how is that worse? You need your brain to remember, to think, to feel, to choose - this disease takes that away from you, very slowly. Culturally, people think of Alzheimer's as Chronic Senile Forgetfulness, but it's so much more than that. People with Alzheimer's disease can live for approximately 3-9 years before their brain function is inhibited to the point that they cannot take care of themselves, feed themselves, speak, move or even think with any kind of coherency. Technically, Alzheimer's itself doesn't kill, however patients become much more vulnerable to accidents, choking, dehydration, infection, malnutrition & stroke. The disease itself doesn't kill you, but in a way it does kill you, by taking away everything of who you are until you're little more than a shadow of your former self. Even though this is a long-lasting illness, to me the very first symptom, memory loss, is already a horrifying thought, but add onto that the fact that you lose motor function, sensory perception, speech & self-awareness, and it sounds like a waking nightmare. And of course, there is no cure, because we don't even understand what causes this in the first place, There may be genetic factors, but they aren't the only cause, leading some researchers to propose all kinds of causes and risk factors from head injury and mental illness to poor diet and exercise.
Can I really get this? Definitely, and your chance of suffering through this disease goes up significantly with age. Early-Onset Alzheimer's is not unheard of, but it is uncommon, with just one in every forty-thousand people under the age of 65-years who have it. However, one in ten 65-year-olds have it; and, one in three 85-year-olds have it. The only reason this doesn't make the list is because, although more research needs to be done, there's little to no reason to believe that Alzheimer's is an infectious disease.

iii. Vibrio Vulnificus Infection
What is that, exactly? Vibrio vulnificus is a species of curved, rod-shaped, pathogenic bacteria, whose natural habitat is brackish or salt-water. The most common cause of infection is ingestion of infected seafood, and V. vulnificus is responsible for 95% of seafood-related death, killing 16 people every year. This bacterium releases defensive toxins which can cause shock syndromes and bacterial dissemination which leads to sepsis, and death due to organ failure, or blood infection.
And how is that worse? Whilst it is most commonly caused by ingestion, which is pretty horrific, causing abdominal pain, diarrhea & vomiting. However, what makes this bacterium so horrifying, to me, is that it doesn't need to get into your stomach. If you just have a little cut, or a little scratch on your skin, this begins as redness, pain and swelling around the site of the infection as well as a fever, but in as little as three days it progresses into  either dermatitis, cellulitis or sepsis, but rapidly progresses to a necrotic infection in your skin with rapid and severe tissue destruction. That means it starts killing and rotting away your skin from the inside. it's most dangerous for those with a compromised immune system, or with a weakened liver.
Can I really get this? Yes, but it's not likely to hurt you. Whilst this does naturally occur in ocean water (meaning, yes, you can get this if you go to the beach), it has a low chance of harming you. To begin with, this one is sexist... 85% of victims are male, as oestrogen has a protective effect against the bacteria; so, half the population has a natural protection from it. Also, even if you eat raw, ocean seafood such as oysters (which I don't recommend), stomach acid is usually strong enough to kill this bacterium, that's one of the reasons we have stomach acid, after all. And of course, whilst this can cause horrifying infections if it gets in a wound, even a small cut, most people avoid swimming at the beach even with small cuts because ocean water is very, very salty, and that tends to hurt like all hell. For a long while, this was on the list proper since a flesh-eating bacteria that you cn get at the beach sounds pretty scary; but as it says above, only sixteen people a year die from this, and the infection has so many things holding it back, I couldn't justify it over the much more deadly diseases on offer.

I felt it necessary to include these horrible diseases because, although they didn't make the list due to mortality, rarity and cause, I wanted to show you just how horrible even non-infectious, non-deadly diseases can be. But, without further ado, let's continue with the proper list of...

THE A.W.N.'s TOP 5 INFECTIOUS DISEASES (SOMEHOW) WORSE THAN COVID-19

5. Naegleriasis
What is that, exactly? Also known as Primary Amoebic Meningoencephalitis (or PAM), Naegleriasis is caused by an infection by Naegleria fowleri, a unicellular eukaryote which thrives in warm water, which has three stages. Without adequate food or heat N. fowleri enters a cystic stage, where it shrinks to a  spherical shape with a protective membrane. In the flagellate stage, the N. fowleri grows two flagella to allow it to swim easily through water and spread throughout the environment. In the trophozoite stage, N. fowleri cells grow pseudopodia to navigate, and in warm temperatures can procreate through fission, and feed on bacteria, as well as other organic matter.
And how is that worse? Naegleria fowleri is more commonly known by the colloquial name "brain-eating amoeba"; but that name is a little misleading - it's not actually an amoeba, it's really a shapeshifting amoeboflagellate excavate. However, yes, it does eat brains. In its flagellate form, this critter spreads throughout warm water, but if it enters your nose, within a few hours, it can transform into its trophozoite stage where it attaches to your olfactory epithelium and uses its pseudopodia to traverse your nasal cavity and up into your brain. It is believed that it does this because your brain is, on average, kept at 40°C, which is the optimal temperature for procreation, and provides plenty to feed on. Once this reaches the brain, patients suffer from confusion, fever, hallucinations, headache, nausea, seizures, stiff neck & vomiting. Symptoms worsen quickly in as little as five days, and leads to death at most two weeks later. There are no known cures, and of the over 450 cases of naegleriasis on record, only seven people have ever survived infection.
Can I really get this? Unfortunately, yes. This microorganism is typically found in bodies of warm, fresh water; these include hot springs, ponds, lakes, rivers, and (damp) soil, but can include geothermal well water; warm water discharge from power plants; water heaters & dirty or minimally chlorinated swimming pools or spas. However, it must be said that this is very rare, and less rare in subtropical parts of the word. Although over 400 people are on record as contracting naegleriasis, that's over a period of 60 years of recorded medicine, globally, which basic maths tells us is an average of 7~ people a year, which is why it is so low on this list. It is, however, a devastating illness I'd wish on no one that kills quickly, horribly and painfully... just make sure your water is cold and clean, especially if it goes anywhere near your nose.

4. Influenza
What is that, exactly? Influenza, also known as "the flu" is an infectious disease caused by three or four genera of the Orthomyxoviridae family of viruses, namely Alpha-, Beta-, Gamma- & Deltainfluenzavirus. (although Deltainfluenzavirus hasn't yet been known to affect humans). An influenza virion is pleomorphic, which means it can alter its morphology based on the environment, but it is generally ellipsoidal with particles 80-120 nanometres in diameter, with a viral envelope composed of a lipid bilayer, covered with glycoprotein spikes. This means it has great potency to invade and infect host cells, especially lung cells, and to procreate within and spread throughout the host body.
And how is that worse? Originally, I wanted to include Swine Flu or perhaps even Spanish Flu, but neither of them seemed virulent or deadly enough... that was, until I did some research and discovered that they're the same disease - "Influenza A virus subtype H1N1" That's right, the same virus responsible for the Spanish Flu pandemic in 1918 had a resurgence in 2009. Although they're caused by different subtype, it's also responsible for the Hong Kong Flu pandemic in 1968, the Asian Flu pandemic in 1957 and the Russian Flu pandemic in 1889. Influenza Pandemics are common, as the Seasonal Flu is endemic among several species, giving the virus ample opportunity to replicate and mutate, evolving into more virulent and deadly strains.
Can I really get this? Not only can you get this, you probably already have had it several times, which is the only reason it's not higher on this list. Flu does have a a significant death toll, but that's mostly due to its spread - and those aged 65+ years old account for 80% of deaths due to influenza. I'm not dismissing those losses, but even including those, less than 0.5% of people who get the flu will die. The reason why I include is because whilst it's general numbers are low, it is responsible for several deadly outbreaks and pandemics, and currently researchers are keeping a close eye on Avian flu, as it has a high risk of human transmission, and without close scrutiny could result in another influenza pandemic in the near future. So, whilst it's not currently a high-mortality disease, it has every potential to become one, again, in the future.

3. Cholera
What is that, exactly? Vibrio cholerae is a species of curved, comma-shaped, pathogenic bacteria, whose natural habitat is brackish or salt-water. The most common cause of infection is ingestion of infected seafood, although V. cholerae also spreads through unclean water, and kills ~75,000 people every year. This bacterium releases endotoxin & exotoxin which causes profuse, watery diarrhea and bacterial dissemination which leads to colonization of the small intestine, and death due to organ failure, or dehydration... if any of that sounds familiar, it's because this bacteria is related to Vibrio vulnificus, they're from the same family and genus, but this one is much more deadly...

And how is that worse? Without water, you will die very quickly. Always keep in mind the "Rule of 3 for Survival", for how long you can survive without life essentials? Air, 3 Minutes; Shelter, 3 Hours; Water, 3 Days & Food, 3 Weeks.
This virus causes severe, watery diarrhea which is not only quite gross, but it often means you lose water faster than your body can process it. So, even though this infection typically only lasts for a few days, that's more than enough time to kill you. For this reason, this disease is most deadly among young children, as they can lose enough water to become dehydrated very quickly. Oral rehydration with liquids high in electrolytes is recommended, as well as continuing to eat and keep up calorie and vitamin intake; but in more extreme cases, antibiotics and intravenous fluids are necessary to prevent people from dying of extreme starvation which leads to headaches, confusion, delirium & seizure.
Can I really get this? Yes, but unless you live somewhere without easy access to clean drinking water and/or healthcare, you are less likely to both contract this disease and die from it. This adversely affects those in poor or rural communities, with a 50% chance of death, however even in regions with cleaner water, sanitation and adequate healthcare, mortality still sits as high as 15%; mostly children and the elderly, but also the immune compromised, or those with sudden and severe infections. That's the craziest thing about Cholera to me, I look at it like Smallpox or Rickets, old-timey diseases that we don't have to worry about anymore thanks to modern medicine. However, this disease never went away, it's just mostly prevalent in Africa, Asia & South America.

2. HIV/AIDS
What is that, exactly? HIV-1 or human immunodeficiency virus 1 refers to a species of Lentivirus, a kind of retrovirus which severely hinders the immune system. It does this by infecting several elements of the immune system - CD4 T Cells, which release cytokines to alert other elements of the immune system; macrophages, a kind of white blood cell that consumes invasive cells & dendritic cells which capture antigens and use them to activate elements of the adaptive immune system. AIDS is a complication of HIV where the immune system is severely compromised.
And how is that worse? Your immune system prevents you from getting sick by constantly removing, destroying and fighting off foreign matter that gets into your body. You need to breathe, drink and eat to survive, so it's important that you can fight off any of the nasties that can hijack their way into your body on a pretty much daily basis. For this reason, people with AIDS often suffer from opportunistic infections caused by bacteria, viruses, fungi and parasites, causing prolonged fever, a persistent cough & weakness. Some of the most common symptoms of AIDS are cachexia (also known as HIV wasting syndrome), diarrhea & unintended weight loss. Left untreated, someone with AIDS has a life expectancy of around 10 years.

Can I really get this? If you have unprotected sex, then yes. Whilst it may seem simple enough to just "avoid having sex with HIV-positive partners", the problem is the way acute HIV affects you. Two-to-three weeks after initial exposure, the patient may suffer from nonspecific fever-like symptoms, but many have no symptoms at all. The second stage of HIV, called 'clinical latency', is a stage that can last for three to twenty years when the patient shows no symptoms at all, but can still pass the disease through unprotected sex or exposure to infected blood. The third stage is AIDS itself, which lasts until the patient dies from one of those opportunistic infections, most often as a result of organ failure. Although data is limited, according to my research, the leading cause of death amongst those with HIV appears to be pneumonia, suicide & tuberculosis.

1. Rabies
What is that, exactly? Rabies is a disease caused by infections by the Rhabdoviridae Lyssaviruses. Rabies viruses is transmissible through saliva.

Trimeric spikes of the virus exterior membrane interact with cell receptors, of a host's muscle or nerve cells, pinching the host cell via pinocytosis and essentially merging with the cell wall, releasing its RNA genome via five proteins: nucleoprotein, phosphoprotein, matrix protein, glycoprotein & polymerase. These proteins interact with the low pH within the endosome, activating the RNA replication and allowing the virus to reproduce within the new cell. This allows the virus to propagate and spread copies of itself through the host's nervous system. Within the nervous system, rabies is capable of affecting behaviour to make its host more aggressive and causing inflammation of the brain.

And how is that worse? Because it's slow, painful, incurable and very, very deadly - of those who have contracted rabies, 97% of symptomatic patients do not survive. Rabies is most commonly spread via a bite from a rabid animal. After initial infection, the first stage is an incubation period which is often one to three months, but there have been cases of the incubation period being as short as four days, or as long as six years, usually due to the location of the infection, the severity of the wound and the patient's health prior to infection. The second stage is the symptomatic stage, and patients may have nonspecific flu-like symptoms such as fever and headache. This progresses to severe symptoms of viral encephalitis and meningitis, and often includes abnormal behaviour, agitation, anxiety, confusion, hallucinations, insomnia, paranoia, partial paralysis, terror & in several cases an irrational fear of water leading to severe dehydration and frothing at the mouth. Two to ten days after first symptoms appear, the disease will progress to delirium, coma and inevitably death.

Can I really get this? Yes. There are several lyssaviruses that cause rabies, at least seven genotypes identified so far, most of which are endemic to bats but can spread to humans if they are bitten, or ingest/inhale aspirated bat saliva, urine or feces. Not only are bat species found in every country (except Antarctica and those in the Arctic circle), but rabies lyssavirus has been shown to be evolving, such that it can now infect raccoons and skunks, giving it greater transmissibility among mammalian carnivores... such as dogs and cats. There are treatments for rabies, but they are preventative. Pest control and vaccination are the most effective methods, as after infection there is only a ten-day window where vaccine treatment after exposure is effective - but since early symptoms are non-specific, many tests are inconclusive or unreliable, and some later symptoms can be confused for irritability and other viral infections, it makes it much harder to diagnose and treat rabid patients within that timeframe.

So, you see? COVID-19 doesn't seem so bad now, does it? At least you don't have these diseases [unless you do, of course], so hey, it could be worse...
Of course, that begs the question of what exactly I mean by "worse". I chose these because the symptoms are painful or scary, the diseases are deadly and they are highly infectious, meaning that you can get them. However, that being said, are these "worse" because they have a higher mortality rate? Are they "worse" because the symptoms are more painful? I mean, if you're asking which injury is worse, most people would say that getting shot in the foot with a shotgun is worse than getting stabbed in the foot with a pencil. But, which is worse, the pain from a pencil that is currently stabbed through your bleeding foot, or having a shotgun pointed at you, threateningly? How can anything be worse than something you're currently dealing with.
Sure, these diseases exist, most of them have existed for all of your life (whilst the current COVID-19 pandemic only mutated into existence recently) but the coronavirus is the disease that's currently threatening most people's lives, at time of writing. Of course, that's also assuming that you don't currently suffer from asthma; or bipolar; or cancer; or diabetes; or epilepsy; or fibromyalgia or any of the hundreds of other diseases, disabilities and afflictions out there that can make life harder than that of the average, healthy person.

It makes you think... or, at least, it makes me think, because I wrote this all tongue-in-cheek, but looking back at it, whilst I do think it would be worse to suffer from a disease that eats your brain; spreads worldwide; dehydrates you through diarrhea; destroys your immune system or deletes your memories, that's only because I've never had coronavirus, and so to me this is an entirely intellectual exercise, like the one before: pencil vs. shotgun. But that's easier to say before they pull the trigger.

I'm the Absurd Word Nerd, and until next time, I'm going to go sharpen my pencil.

Outbreak Diary - Day 045

I have had my fair share of dealing with conspiracy theorists. And one of the first things that you need to comprehend is:

No matter how stupid their beliefs are, these are not inherently stupid people.

This is vital to understand for two important reasons.
Firstly, if you dismiss these people as idiots, then you will be putting yourself at risk of assuming that they are ineffectual or inoffensive, when in fact they are often just as dedicated, hard-working, creative and dangerous as any other person can be - conspiracy theories can be dangerous.
Secondly, it puts you at risk of assuming that you are not capable of falling victim to their "dumb" beliefs if you're just smart enough, but that's not the case at all, since these beliefs aren't based on intellect but emotion and common sense. So, if you have emotions, you can fall victim to conspiracy theories, if you're not careful - conspiracies theories can be convincing.

In a way, conspiracy theories are like a virus, they have developed to try to invade weaknesses in your defences. Just as coronavirus can infect you through the weak points of your immune system - it can't get through your skin, so it goes through openings, your eyes and mouth - conspiracy theories, similarly, can't get through your intellectual defences of reason and logic, so it goes through openings in your defences, your emotions and your opinions.
I go into detail about this viral meme model of thought in an earlier blog post, so I won't reiterate it here, but the point is simple - humans make mistakes, in the way we speak, act and think, and some of the most pernicious and deleterious ideas spread by taking advantage of our human weaknesses. Particularly emotions.

This matters because the COVID-19 epidemic is causing a lot of emotions for a lot of people: It kills people and causes harm, to both us and people we care about; it's caused isolation, which is devastating to a social species like human, making people feel alone, upset and frustrated & several people have lost jobs, or had their life ruined by the actions of politicians, or locals, making people feel angry, stressed and trapped.
So, it's no surprise at all that people are falling victim to conspiracy theories. But, there have been an awful lot that have been spread, specifically about coronavirus. I enjoy learning, and I think this is a good opportunity to learn more about why these people believe these things, as well as how to help people overcome these beliefs. And, I find mythbusting fun, so, let's look at some of these theories. I may not cover these all in one blog post, but I'll cover every one that I can.

"The 5G Virus"

The Theory is... that coronavirus is being caused by the upgraded telecommunication network, known as 5G; OR, that coronavirus doesn't exist at all, but rather people are actually falling victim to hazardous radio waves or electromagnetic fields from the new 5G telecommunication network. And to hide this fact, the government invented this "coronavirus", so they wouldn't be blamed for the effects. But why would the government lie about this? Well, it's simple... this way, they can trick people into being Vaccinated!

It's Convincing because... of two reasons. Firstly, I looked into the "Australians for Safer Technology", a group which perpetuates these beliefs, and people there seem to also believe in the anti-vaxxer movement - so in fact this conspiracy theory is a mutation of the "Vaccinations Cause Autism and/or allow Governments to Control the Population" theory. I will talk about vaccines later in this blog post, but if this all seems like a bitter pill to swallow, remember, these people have already drunk the Kool-Aid. All you need to do is believe that the Government doesn't always do what's best for you (and let's be honest, it doesn't) - and then it's easy to build upon that belief to get to anti-vax beliefs.
Secondly, it's convincing because of the close association again. The Coronavirus pandemic is spreading worldwide, at the same time as 5G is being installed worldwide; also, coronavirus spreads invisibly, seeming to hit people at random and no one is safe, just as 5G works via radio waves, which are invisible and literally everyone with a 5G phone can connect. All you need to do is introduce the concept that invisible radio waves can be harmful (and, yes, they can), and you can see why people might believe this...

The Reality is... the first theory is debunked very, very quickly. 5G towers don't create or spread viruses, and in several places where 5G does not exist, people are getting sick, so we can put that aside.
As to the other theory, that the radiation is making us sick, that's also easy to dispute. When radiation of any kind, including radiowaves, are harmful to organic matter, they can't "target" specific cells. Just look at UV radiation - it can cause skin cancer, and whilst skin cancer can metastasize and spread, if it ever does affect you, it has to affect the outer layer of your skin first. This also debunks the idea that this is causing our bodies to react and release toxins, since you would have to see it on people's skin. But sick, toxic or cancerous skin doesn't look like healthy skin, and since bumps, rashes, growths & skin discoloration aren't symptoms of COVID-19, we know that radiation isn't the cause.
The fact of the matter is that 5G isn't very different from 4G. The main difference (and what makes it so much faster) is that it uses a higher frequency of 1,000 megahertz, instead of the 100 megahertz of 4G, which is why it's much faster. But, because the frequency is higher, it means it can't spread as far, which is why they're putting up more towers, to allow 5G to cover more area. And whilst 5G is on the same EM spectrum as UV rays, X-rays and gamma radiation, do you know what else is on that spectrum? Visible light. Radio waves would have to become visible before they could be a high enough frequency to be dangerous.
Now, it is possible for even these radio waves to dangerous if they also have a low enough wavelength, to results in dielectric heating via microwaves. However, 5G doesn't use microwaves, because they're dangerous. Microwaves can cause burns but there's a much simpler reason why we know 5G doesn't use microwaves. Microwaves are non-ionizing and don't cause skin cancer or target lung cells, but do you know what body part is really vulnerable to microwaves?
       (WARNING, I find this interesting, but this is really gross)
Eyeballs. Microwaves can very easily denature proteins in your eyes, by literally cooking your eyes, causing severe cataracts and blindness. So, we know 5G isn't dangerous because: a) You can't see it and b) You can still see.

"The Chinese Biological Weapon"

The Theory is... that COVID-19 isn't a naturally evolved virus, a mutation of the SARS coronavirus, but instead a bio-engineered weapon, developed by the Wuhan Institute of Virology. According to the institute's own Wikipedia page, they were doing research on the SARS virus, to see if it they could infect humans with it. That's the smoking gun right there! And hey, doesn't the WIV's logo look suspiciously similar to the Umbrella Corporation - a fictional company from the Resident Evil games whose goal was to infect humanity with a deadly virus?

It's Convincing because... there a lot of associations, fickle though they be. But, the main reason appears to be that people find randomness hard to comprehend or hard to come to terms with. If 30 people stand in a room, and 15 people randomly die because of micrometeors, that's a tragedy; but if 30 people stand in a room, and 15 people die randomly because of a sniper, that's also a tragedy, but it's easier to come to terms with because we understand why it happened (i.e. an evil person is responsible, they chose to do it).
The scales of justice have tipped, because it was weighed down by "evil", and so we push it back the other way to balance it - we simply have to kill/capture/punish the sniper. But, when people die randomly, the scales of justice tip, but there's no way to push them back... because nothing actually weighed it down. That makes no sense to us...
So, this is why people blame China, because if China did it, then to make the world fair, balanced and right again, all we have to do is punish China. Unfortunately, people who honestly believe this have been attacking random, local Chinese people - it's disgusting, bigoted and wrong, but it makes sense when you follow the flawed logic to its conclusion.

The Reality is... the Wuhan Institute of Virology was trying to understand the last SARS epidemic, and was trying to understand if humans were at risk of the non-human SARS virus, that's found in horseshoe bats in China. The virus they were looking at was different from the current one (although also found in bats, the pangolin/bat strain that appears to have mutated into novel-SARS-coronavirus-2 has a different genetic make-up). Considering the fact that the COVID-19 pandemic exists, it's good that places like the WIV were trying to see if it was possible, and could be prevented. Unfortunately, this lab doesn't have the ability to engineer a virus like the novel coronavirus, because as much as they were researching transmissibility, they couldn't have engineered the old virus to alter its gestation, virulence and transmission. That kind of bio-engineering is beyond a lab with their resources, but natural selection could allow for a virus to develop randomly with relative ease. If you understand how genetics work, it's the only explanation that makes sense.
Also, as a side-note, the Wuhan lab's logo looks nothing like the Umbrella logo - the picture people have shared is actually a picture of the logo if a biotech company from Shanghai, not Wuhan, and the company in question, doesn't operate anymore - that picture is several years old.

"The Total Hoax Proposal"

The Theory is... that COVID-19 does not exist, at all. News stories regarding the virus are fake, all of the statistics for infection and death are made up; or it's just exaggerating some commonplace epidemic, such as the common cold. All scientists or politicians presenting these coronavirus claims as fact are either paid disinformationists, lying for personal gain or they are falling victim to these lies. The truth is that nobody is sick from this coronavirus at all, and all of the social distancing and isolation rules are just to take away people's freedoms, and keep people controlled, using fear.

It's Convincing because... well, do you know anyone with coronavirus? Personally, I do, and based on the death toll I know many must, but several people don't. For them, it's easy to say that they can't see this virus near them, despite how "deadly" it's supposed to be, so why would they believe it? After all, if were so deadly, shouldn't they be able to see it in their backyard? Heck, even if someone does get sick that they know, it's easier to assume that it's not some new virus, but just a very bad flu.
But, what really motivates these people is either fear of losing control - if you lose your job and have to stay home and can't meet your friends, you are essentially surrendering your freedom and losing control of your life; OR, it's a kind of weaponized bewilderment. Because they're unable to understand how this is possible, they simply don't accept that it is.
I am a skeptic, so I can understand the desire to doubt something purported as true despite how widely-held such claims may be, but there is a difference between doubting the veracity of a claim that we all hold to be true, and outright denying it with the counter-claim that it is not true, and the person proposing it is a liar.

The Reality is... that the coronavirus pandemic does exist, and that COVID-19 is currently infecting billions and killing hundreds of thousands (at time of writing). And whilst it is true that we all need to be wary of how much power the government has over us, the fact is that social distancing is the most effective method of stopping this virus, and as a result we need to surrender some of the basic freedoms such as freedom of movement & freedom of association, for the sake of everyone who is vulnerable to this virus. It's a sad fact that all forms of security takes with them a degree of freedom and convenience, and when people protest these en masse, in the midst of a viral pandemic, they're just putting themselves and others needlessly in mortal danger.

"The U.S. Biological Weapon"

The Theory is... that COVID-19 isn't a naturally evolved virus, a mutation of the SARS coronavirus, but instead a bio-engineered weapon, developed by the C.I.A., which was smuggled into Wuhan, China and released there, so as to harm China's economy, and tarnish China's reputation, making it appear disease-ridden, dirty and underdeveloped.

It's Convincing because... the C.I.A. is a secretive agency, and it has been involved in its fair share of controversies and America has been known to try to step in and affect world politics. So, spreading a virus specifically to harm another country doesn't seem too far outside of their scope.
Plus, from the very beginning President Trump, the WALRUS, has been blaming China, calling COVID-19 the Chinese Flu, and wanting to specifically ban travel to and from China. This also relates back to what I said above with the Chinese bio-weapon theory, but note, the claims blaming China tend to come from the West, whereas these claims blaming the U.S. seem to come from Europe and the East - it's all about scapegoating, passing the buck, and finding someone to blame for this, so long as that someone isn't yourself. And it becomes the worst in times like this when there isn't someone to blame for the outbreak - because it means you can't relieve that built up tension.

The Reality is... America has been the worst affected by this virus. At time of writing, America has had over one million persons affected, and over seventy-thousand dead (more than the next two worst-affected countries, combined). The reason for this is because America is a perfect storm for this kind of virus - it has a whole lot of people, densely populated, with freedom to move around, and with an economy that allows people to travel interstate and internationally with ease. It also hasn't suffered from a great many pandemics as some countries in Asia have been, so it was completely blindsided by this virus. Also, America had been cutting back on funding for departments regarding infectious diseases since this new government took office, and unfortunately there has been a fair amount of  mismanagement on the part of President Trump and his staff regarding protocol, government oversight and misinformation, which allowed this virus to spread through America as far as it has. The point is, if the C.I.A. had manufactured this virus, then why would it not have greater security in place to protect it from a virus that it manufactured? That doesn't make any sense. If the goal was to denigrate China as disease-ridden, then why would it allow itself to become infected, and allow it to be so much worse on American soil than any other country?
Just as damning, the same evidence that proves China didn't manufacture this virus also refutes America, or in fact anyone from manufacturing this virus. Not only does evidence that it was engineered just not exist, but several studies have shown how this is a natural mutation, evolved from a SARS coronavirus.


Those seem to be the most prominent of conspiracy theories... at least, they're the ones with any meat on their bones. There are a couple of other ridiculous claims like "the Jews did it" and "eating oregano will cure you" which, whilst some people believe them, the only reason people believe them are due to other pre-existing beliefs, and the only response to them is "well, that's just not true.
I might cover them in a later blog post, but for now, I hope this has helped you to learn a little more about the mistakes people make in their reasoning, and how to try to avoid making them yourself. This took a stupidly-long amount of time for me to write, so I apologize for the long wait, but hopefully what I have to talk about in the future won't take so long.

Until then, I'm the Absurd Word Nerd, and I hope this helps to disabuse you of your misbeliefs...