Thursday, 13 March 2025

Chapterspooks

G'day, g'day, Readers! So, I'm the Absurd Word Nerd, but that's not all that I am. Recently I have been working on a podcast, so now my Readers can become Listeners. But, what is this podcast? Well, I have included a link to the zeroth episode, which is the introduction, the "advertisement" so to speak, and I encourage you to give it a listen. But for those of you that just want the quick-and-dirty explanation:

My podcast is called Chapterspooks. I read through series of chapterspooks (i.e. spooky chapterbooks), book by book, then I summarize each story and critique middle-grade horror from the perspective of an adult horror writer that is a fan of this kind of writing (as well as a massive geek when it comes to horror, narratology, philosophy, culture and science).

If that sounds interesting, give this a "zeroth episode" a listen and see what you think. I plan on posting Episode 1 on Thursday, the  27th of March, 2025, a few weeks from today, and then every Thursday until the end of "Season 1". I also have a list of chapterspook books right here, if you want to check out some of the titles, and learn more about what chapterspooks are.


If you want to get in touch regarding to the podcast, just contact: ϲhaptеr​spоοkѕ​@​gmail.соm

...Just don't copy-paste that, as I've futzed with it to stop email-scraping bots from stealing it.

I hope you enjoy listening to it as much as I enjoyed creating it. The only other thing I'll mention is that the logo is pretty cool and cute, but I didn't make it. It comes courtesy of Edi L, an artist that does commissions for logos, and I think he did a great job doing something cute but spooky - consider this a recommendation if you like this style and want to support Australian artists.

 







Friday, 28 February 2025

The Common Cause of a Comma Clause

I use too many commas. It's not the worst affliction, but for a writer it can make reading one's work tiresome. I've been reading through some of my older writing, especially this blog, and I have a bad habit of using commas more than necessary. I noticed it because of the em dash. Perhaps I should explain...

Let's start with the basics, Comma 101. So, for those who don't know, there are about seven major uses for a comma. In order of commonality, they are:

1. Separator Comma: Used to separate distinct items in a list of more than two items, or adjectives.
   i.e. Every story has a beginning, a middle, and an end.
2. Clausal Commas: Used to separate dependent clauses in a sentence.
   i.e. I have written several horror stories, all in short story anthologies.
3. Adjectival Comma: Used to separate coordinate adjectives for a single noun.
   i.e. I prefer to read a story with a three-dimensional, believable, understandable protagonist.
4. Parenthetical Comma: Used for parenthetical clauses or "non-restrictive clauses".
   i.e. I enjoy hand-writing, even though I'm writing this on a keyboard, because it helps me to remember.
5. Elliptical Comma: Used to indicate an omission (similar to the way an ellipsis does).
   i.e. I sorted my bookshelf so that reference books were organized by height and fiction books, by colour.
6. Vocative Comma: Used to offset a noun, or pronoun, when addressing them in particular.
   i.e. If you've gotten this far, Reader, then I thank you for your patience.
7. Adverbial Comma: Used to offset certain adverbs from the introduction, or interruption, of a sentence.
   i.e. Furthermore, every story has an antagonist, however, they may not be a physical person.

There are also several minor uses, which have their place but I don't want to dwell on here, including separating quotations within a sentence; separating distinct numbers in dates, addresses and formal titles; & separating orders of magnitude in large numbers. [Also, yes, I prefer the "serial" comma in my lists. I have changed my mind over the years, as I have found more than one occasion where it is easier to read. If you disagree that's your prerogative.]

So, those are the main uses for a comma, in my eyes. You'll see a fair few in this very blog post.

My issue is that when I write stories I have a lot to say and a lot of my ideas are interconnected. For this reason, I tend to write long, run-on sentences. I'll give you an example:

So, when writing, because I have several ideas in my head, but one idea is related tangentially but not specifically to another idea, I will often write out that first idea as thoroughly as possible; however, I won't then end the sentence, because I wanted to tack on a little bit at the end which, although it can add some extra information, it can also stretch out the sentence to a ridiculous length.

Just look at that thing. That is a monster, and it took me no effort to write because it's the way my brain tends to work, stretching and connecting ideas whilst also trying to flesh them out. There's nothing wrong with a long sentence in and of itself, but I am often inflating these sentences beyond belief through the use of sequential parenthetical commas, and clausal commas. It can make sentences a lot harder to comprehend, because there's a lot more information to digest at once. But brains aren't really good at handling indigestion so they just spit the information back out and fail to remember it.

I only noticed that I was doing it because of the em dash. In my reading, I have noticed that a lot of writers will use an em dash (i.e. this thing "—")in the same way as a parenthesis, or a parenthetical comma. I thought this was a great stylistic choice, it looked nice and was easy to read, because rather than interrupt the line with a bracket to separate an idea, it was literally leading into a related idea. So, I decided to use it more often in my writing, especially once I learned the shortcut for it [Alt+0151, if you're curious]. But, because the em dash is so big, when I started using it to replace my parenthetical commas it became clear to me just how often I do this. Which is to say, all the damn time. The em dash looks nice when used sparingly, but I was using it so often that it was turning paragraphs into Morse Code.
If you've noticed this, I apologize. It's only recently that I realized this mistake.

But once my attention was drawn to the parenthetical/clausal comma I realized a second common error that I do. I kept using commas to denote a pause. I'll give you another example to illustrate what I mean:

So, when reading a sentence aloud, it is common to pause on the commas, to take a breath. It can make it easier to understand the meaning of the sentence, since it can help to denote those clauses, all that stuff I mentioned above. But I would use commas, where I didn't need them, to let readers know where I would have paused, if I were reading the sentences aloud. This meant I was dropping in commas, where there was no grammatical meaning attached. It was just me saying, hey, I paused here, so you should read it as though I paused for effect. But when you use a meaningless comma like that, whilst it can help people read the sentence in the way I would have read it, it makes the meaning less clear, and it can seem like a sentence is littered with parenthetical phrases, omissions, or just plain, old mistakes.  

That was a little harder to write since I am trying harder to get better at avoiding unnecessary commas. But, I guarantee that a lot of my older blog posts are littered with commas just like that. Again, if you've noticed this a long time ago, I'm sorry. I hope it didn't affect my writing too negatively.

And yes, I have had an editor who removed more than half of my commas in a story before publication because they were completely unnecessary. Unfortunately, I didn't notice because they also removed all the exclamation points (even when characters were shouting, which was just confusing), and adjusted my grammar to be more American. I thought they were just hoovering up all kinds of punctuation and that teachable moment didn't penetrate my skull.

So, what can I do about it? I comprehend what the issue is, however, it's a reflex. I like to put in commas whenever I pause, mentally. So, what's the solution? Well, I've come up with an effective tool.

PAIN.

Well, not really "pain", moreso just a physical, tangible reminder. I have sticky-taped a small bolt to the comma key of my keyboard, facing "pointy-bit" up. It's not sharp per se, but when I press that key it jabs my finger slightly, depressing my fingertip. The idea is that when I press the comma key I can't do so mindlessly. It's impossible to ignore it because there is a physical, undeniable, blunt-force reminder that I have added another comma to my writing. I won't remove it unless and until I get into the habit of pressing it less frequently.

It's a brutalist solution, but it's actually worked really well. My writing over the past few weeks has improved. I don't know when, if at all, I'll ever remove the bolt from my keyboard. But, I have started to actually consider the way that I use commas. In fact, the keyboard I use to write these blog posts is on a different computer, so can you see a difference? Did you even notice my excessive commas in the first place?

In any case, it's a simple (but effective) solution to improving my writing in a small, but meaningful way.

Now all I need to do is maintain a strict schedule, and I'll actually finish writing this novel!

Until Next Time, I'm the Absurd Word Nerd, and I wonder, what was the last thing you've done to improve yourself lately? I hope it's less barbaric than mine was...

Tuesday, 14 January 2025

Writing Without Writing

G'day, I hope you're well. I'm busy melting as we're in the thick of Summer, Down Under. I wish I could tell you I've been busy writing away but I'm afraid that's not the case.
The heat does tend to slow me down, but much more than that I've been busy with an online "Employability Skills Training" course. It's a mandatory, virtual, three-week program that started in January, so I've been focussing on that rather than story-writing for the past week. All I have to say about it is that the course is kind of dull and frustrating, but the facilitators do an excellent job of humanizing it and making the modules tolerable.

But I have wanted to write. I've been craving it for a while. You wouldn't know this, but I've actually started work on a novel and I'm right in the thick of it... (I know I'm reusing metaphors, but it's hot, alright? give me a break). I completed chapter one at the end of 2024, and I've had it on hold since then, because I have to focus on this course, and if I write I don't study, and it's bloody frustrating!

However, I've noticed something over the past week. See, I'm not writing, but I'm still writing. I've said it before, not all writing is writing, as the blog post in that link will attest, writing requires a sturdy foundation of research, plotting and planning. I used to refer to it as "the two-thirds", because of something J.K. Rowling said, but these days, I refer to it as the understory. Firstly, because J.K. Rowling said it and fuck that bitch - trans rights are human rights.
But secondly, as I've matured I've realized that it's bad writing to write more than double the story of your book and do so much research if it doesn't appear in the books. A recipe can be overcooked; a garden can be overgrown; a performance can be overacted; and you better believe it sweetheart when I say a story can be overwritten.

So, I've been unable to physically write but because I want to write so much I've been writing a lot of understory. I didn't realize how much I was doing it until I decided that a good outlet was to write a blog post and I looked back on the past week and change.
See, in the last week...

  1. I was going for a walk, when I was thinking about that novel I'm working on. I can't tell you much about it, but all you need to know is I'm planning on it being a horror story all about the main character being kind of a monster. I've had some ideas for a sequel, but the plot hinged on people seeking out the protagonist because of a much worse threat they had to face. I had some idea they would be a monster, like the main character, but I wasn't sure if that was possible. But, as I was walking around, looking at some of the brick fences around me, I was inspired... I had an idea of a way to make a hero that was just as dangerous as the protagonist, in a new way. I won't spoil, but believe me when I say He's one Bad Dude.
  2. I was watching a show before bed (Star Trek, if you're curious) when I was inspired by a quick scene that made me think about "sci-fi tools" and I started thinking about different ideas for the fascinating tools for Duke Forever. I came up with a few, then had to rewind the episode, because I had stopped paying attention fifteen minutes ago.
  3. I was thinking about ideas for an "electronic" epistolary novel, told through online interactions. It's an idea I've been toying with for a while, but I realized that such a story could only work if the plot was focussed on the computer or internet, itself. And that inspired me to consider the different kinds of story that could be told online. Perhaps an online murder mystery, where the clues are on different online discussion forums? Or, perhaps a kind of multimedia creepypasta? I came up with an idea I like, but I won't spoil it, you'll have to wait until I write it...
  4. Just the other day, as part of my online course, we were discussing group projects that we were doing when someone mentioned their project was boring, and I got really annoyed.
    Because we chose the project. Sure, a sausage sizzle or a fun run can be boring, but why not mix it up? ... say that Godzilla attacked your city and you need to organize a crisis centre - that's more fun, right? The stated purpose is to show that we can plan organize & budget a project, then present it—it doesn't have to be real, just realistic, and our facilitators are pretty cool, I think they'd love it.
    Then, I started thinking about the actual logistics of it for a minute before getting back on track - it was kind of fun, if I'm honest.
  5. I realized that I still hadn't planned my "big, bad monster" for my SoloRPG story that I mentioned in my last post, but my issue was that I felt the idea of a single monster that I know beforehand would make it less intimidating. That's when—inspired by the Godzilla crisis centre idea, from before—I came up with an idea. I don't want to spoil that either since it's something you can read. But, I will give you a hint... I call it The Hole.

And these are the major ones, I'm not even mentioning the number of little notes I've made about character name ideas, story titles and (of course) the ideas that I considered, only to decide they were bad ideas...

But, it made me realize two things. First of all, I underestimate how much understory work I do. When I stop writing entirely and it's all I have it's actually an awful lot. I'm doing more now than usual, about twice as much, but even cut in half this is a lot of work.
Second of all, making progress as a writer isn't just about wordcount. Obviously, if you never put words to paper that's an issue that you should address. However, as someone with chronic anxiety and a mind that likes to dig into my weak points, I sometimes do feel like I'm "failing as a writer" because I don't write enough. It's a pointless, vicious cycle that makes me too stressed to plan, then I write even less. But, looking back on the past week even though I know for a fact that I haven't written a single extra word in my Work-In-Progress manuscript, and yes, I am still frustrated about that... I don't feel like I'm failing as a writer. Maybe that's because I have an external Excuse to point to, so I know it's not my fault but I think it's more than that... I don't feel like I'm not writing. I feel like I'm writing, because by doing all this I'm thinking like I'm writing. And, because of that mindset, I'm actually working on even more understory than usual.

So, this isn't just about me bragging that I've done so much understory in one week. No, it's my advice to you: If you're not writing, but you want to, think like a writer. Think like you're writing and... well... you might just put some words on a page.

I'm the Absurd Word Nerd and Until Next Time TRANS RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS.
That wasn't the point of this post, but I think it bears repeating, so don't you forget it...