Wednesday, 28 August 2013

My Type of Dreams

A blog post, a blog post; my kingdom for a blog post.
Actually, scratch that, if that's the exchange rate, I'd write a blog post for a kingdom, then write another blog post about how I just got my own kingdom. But either way, I was not ready for a blog post, today.
I was planning on doing blog fiction, but all of my current ideas for fiction are incredibly complicated, or in genres I'm not used to. I've never written spy fiction before; I'm stuck on this Italian immigrant story & the GameBlog hyperlinks haven't been working, for some reason (not that I've figured out the story for that, I've still only got a few scenes ready).
I also have been having trouble sleeping. Ever since my grandmother's visit, I've been going to bed later and later, to have some time to myself, but now it's completely taken over and I'm more nocturnal than anything else. So when I woke up today and saw the time I thought:
  "Damn, I'm gonna need a good cup of coffee, if I'm gonna do anything today."
But wouldn't you know my luck, we're out of coffee . . .
So, for these reasons, there wasn't going to be a Word of the Day, today. I am in no headspace for that. Right now all I want to do is go to bed.
  "I'm a shadow of my former self", as they say. But that does bring to mind a curious concept that I've noticed, while writing tired or half-mindedly, that will have to serve as the topic of today's post. The Word of the Day is: "SUBCONSCIOUS"

Subconscious /sub'konshəs/ n., adj. (the mental processes and reactions) existing or operating below the level of consciousness.

If you learn how to touch-type, your mind and the computer become as one, connected only by your fingers on the keyboard to communicate words onto the screen. It's a curious ability and I've mentioned before how awesome it is since it literally allows you to communicate with the computer. Not only can you write stories; blog posts; comments; essays; e-mails; articles & even "tweets" online, all communicable over the vast distances that the internet provides; but it also connects all of that right back into your mind. So if you can touch-type, you might believe:
  "Oh yeah, I'm controlling my fingers here. I am the one doing the thinking."
But that's just not true. I know, because I see it all the time. Not only while writing blog posts, but also chatting to friends online or commenting. If I am tired or distracted, I've noticed that my fingers have started to write on their own.

For instance, almost every time I try to type the word "RIGHT", I spell it "WRITE". Perhaps this is some subconscious way of saying that writing is just right, but I don't know. I've also seen myself write the word "which" instead of "that". These are often related words. Turning "element" into "elephant", "goodbye" into "garbage" and "villain" into "valiant". These are just little instances that happen all the time, and it's probably because I write these words frequently or they have similar letters that get caught in my muscle memory. But what if we go deeper?

I often watch shows while writing, especially chatting to friends with slow connections, and I've found myself writing words from the show into my chat logs. These are also often subtley different words, or related words.
Like, if I want to write "How have you been?" I might write something like: "How have you dream?" or even something weird like "Have you fixed it?". Or if I'm trying to say "I don't know" I'll write something like "I'm done now."
This is often dependant upon the context of the show that I'm watching, as it's often a question written when the show and what I'm thinking about coincide and my fingers get confused as to what I'm typing.
But these can be explained on a higher level. Distractions, mis-spellings and confusion. The really weird stuff happens when I'm half-asleep.

My mind gets loose and lazy, my headspace becomes a great soup bowl of unrestrained thoughts and dreams. Some of it can be embarrassing, so it makes me glad that I usually have time to edit what I'm writing.
When I'm talking to a girl online and starting to drift off, I might find my fingers typing things like "just a kiss" or "come closer"; weird little subconscious mumblings that I'm sure wouldn't happen if I had a girlfriend.
Or if I'm trying to write a story, but it's getting late, I've found myself writing all kinds of weird things. From "Mr Zombie comes back." to "He shouted, deadly."
Weird little musings.
Sometimes, it even helps me. One time, I was half-awake, when some pirate-looking guy in my mind said: "Welcome, to Port Tiltha!" I'd never heard that before, so I wrote it down, and it's now the name of one of the cities in a story I'm working on. It's weird to see how one's mind works.

This reminds me of a guy known as "Sleep Talking Man" who would (as the name suggests) talk in his sleep, and his wife would record what he was saying. He's come up with such gems as:

- I've got a badger, a dog, a cat and a sack.
- Pork chops are most satisfying. Mmmmmm. Dangle them from the ceiling
- Butter. Nut. Squash. I like those words.
- Don't leave the duck there. It's totally irresponsible. Put it on the swing, it'll have much more fun.

Now that is really weird.
You know, I think I've used the word "weird" to describe almost all of these things. But that's what they are, they're weird. Blurring the lines between conscious writing and subconscious dreaming. Is there even a difference? You know, after I dream-type, sometimes I wonder if it's my fingers that are slipping, or my mind . . .

I wonder what it would be like if someone could write a book in their dreams. What's that? Someone has? Okay, well I'm tired tonight so we're going to talk about that next time.

Until then, I'm the Absurd Word Nerd and I'm off to get a good night's sleep!

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I would love to read your words.