Sunday, 12 May 2013

Mummy Dearest

Today, the weather was terrible. It was dark and dreary one moment, and stepping outside meant being wet and cold. Then the sun would come out, and you either had to freeze in the shade, or deal with the sun shining in your eyes. It was dreadful. But I had a really good day. Do you know why?
Because today is the second Sunday in May, so it is, of course, Mother's Day. I had a good day today because I spent it with my family and my mother. The Word of the Day is: 'MOTHER'.

Now, I have to say, my father picked me up from my cousin's place to come around today, and I forgot that today was a posting day so I left Dictionary behind. But I have a replacement. In celebration of today, and its word, I will be borrowing my Mum's dictionary. The old girl's a little old-fashioned, her pages are wrinkled from water-damage, her binding and spine is a bit worse for wear and she's been enjoying a nice retirement in the study for a good long while now. However, her basic definitions are pretty solid despite having a different system and she still has all her pages, so I see no reason why she can't help us out for today, of all days. here's her definition of 'Mother'.

Mo'ther (mŭdh-). 1. n. Female parent (become a ∼, bear child; also fig., as necessity is the ∼ of invention); head of nunnery &c.; old woman (M∼ Shipton, M∼ Jones &c., esp. as derisive substiture for Mrs). 2. v.t. Be ∼ of (usu. fig.); act as ∼ to. M∼ Carey's chicken, stormy petrel; M∼ Church, the Church personified; M∼-Church, one from which another has sprung; ∼ country, country in relation to its colonies, one's native land; ∼ earth, the earth personified, (joc.) the ground; M∼ing Sunday, 4th in Lent (with old custom of visiting parents with gifts); ∼-in-law, one's wife or husband's ∼; ∼ of pearl, iridescent lining of oyster & other shells (∼-of-pearl∼-o'-pearl, made of this); ∼ of thousands, ivy-leaved toad-flax; ∼ ship (having charge of torpedo-boats, submarines, &c.); ∼'s son, man or boy (esp. every ∼'s son of, all without exception); ∼ superior, head of nunnery &c.; ∼'s tongue, one's native language; ∼ wit innate common sense.
∼-ho͝od n. ∼lėss a., ∼lў a. (-iest, -iness), (-ŭdh-).

I love my mother. It seems most people do, and saying so has gotten to the point where it sounds cliché, but I say it now for two reasons. Firstly, because it's the truth. I have a very good mother. She's allowed me to live my own life and make my own choices, taken care of me alongside my father and supported me with house, home, food, comfort & care.
Secondly, because I know that I'm lucky. I have seen mothers that scream at their children when their kid asks for a hug. I've seen mothers who can't handle the pressure and take it out on their family. I've heard about young women who've given birth to unwanted kids and left them to die in dumpsters or on the street. I know about mothers who drink or do drugs, and leave their children to clean up after them. I even hear stories about mothers who kill their own children, for selfish or other horrible reasons. There may even be people reading this who are in such situations, or know people who are or have been. I feel sorry for these people, it's a terrible fate and more common than anyone will admit or is aware. So I am  fortunate to have a mother that's normal, but to have a mother who loves me and provides me and my two older brothers with so much? I am blessed.

However, I didn't buy my mother a present for Mother's Day. Some people may think that this is somewhat contradictory, to say that I love my mother but that I didn't bother to get her a gift. These people are morons. For one thing, I am getting sick of presents. For your birthday, okay. That's not really a holiday and sometimes you don't have time for a party, so by all means celebrate with gifts. But for Christmas? Easter? Anniversaries? Valentine's Day? Mother's Day? Father's Day?
That's ridiculous for two reasons. Firstly, it's a waste of money. If you live with your mother, then you're probably going to be using your father's money to buy the present. Your taking money out of the family's budget, which means that your mother will be paying the consequences of the expense. This is especially true of single-income families, and I see no use in it. Secondly, tradition. Christmas is celebrated with family. Easter with eggs. Valentine's day with expressions of love. These all have meaning and significance, so what does it mean when you give your mother a gift? How is it any different from a birthday? It feels so heartless. Even if you give your mother a present that she really appreciates, to me it still seems like you're saying:
 "For being my mother, I reward you with material possessions."
That doesn't fly with me.

Don't misunderstand me though, I didn't get my mother nothing. I didn't waste my money on a purchased gift, because I think my mother is worth more than that. That's why I think these people who buy gifts are foolish. I didn't buy my mother a gift, but I gave her more than that: I gave her my time. I gave her one day, out of so many, when I and the rest of my family get together and spend a day with Mum, and spend it for her. It is, after all, a mother's day, is it not?
Today I went to my brother's apartment, where he cooked Mum (and the rest of us) breakfast. Then, although it was rainy and horrible, we wandered around town and went to the markets, because Mum loves shopping. Then after we walked the whole block, we went back to my brother's place, and watched a DVD on his projector. It was Transformers: Dark of the Moon, which is a horrible movie and painful to sit through since it's so blatantly stupid, annoyingly unfunny and occasionally racist. But I enjoyed it, because I was with my family. Then we went home, and mother sat on the couch to read, because although content, she was quite tired. So I told her I loved her, said goodbye and drove back here so I could feed the cats & dog.

It may not seem like much, but don't underestimate the importance of time to a mother. She spent so much time taking care of you and herself and her work and her life, that just having a moment to herself can mean a lot. Especially when her kids get older and leave home. It can't always be done, but you should always endeavour to spend time with your parents. Sure, you can buy a gift if that's all you can manage, but don't go thinking it's equivalent to a moment of your time.

But if you do see your mother, whatever you do just don't get too weird about it . . .

I'm the Absurd Word Nerd. Say 'Hi' to your Mum for me, and have a pleasant day.

2 comments:

  1. I did say hi, and my goal today is to help out as best I can. Also wrote a blog entry about a fictional mother that struck a nerve with me.

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    Replies
    1. Good on you, and I enjoyed your post! Since it follows todays theme of 'MOTHER', I recommend others check it out too. It can be found at this address:

      http://pseudonymousfictionwriter.blogspot.com.au/2013/05/good-mothers-in-fiction-what-emotional.html

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