But what isn't rude? Should I actually call it poo? I don't like that word because it sounds so childish - poo, poop and poo-poo, or even doo-doo, doodie or, as some Americans say, caca - it's informal to the point of infantile babble.
Of course, some people might refer to it as "a loaf", or "a dump" or even "a nugget", but these are all genteelisms, they refer to it without stating it explicitly, and you have to know what it is before you know what these things are - it's the same way people call the act itself "visiting the restroom" or "going to the bathroom", you know what it is based on context, but that's not casual, since it's steeped in shame and embarrassment - much more than simply saying you're going to "have a shit", but then we get back to the vulgarity issue again...
So, what about the proper word for it? Stool? Feces? Excrement? Bowel movements? Well, these are too formal, it's so clinical that it becomes another kind of genteelism. After all, the word feces doesn't actually mean "shit", it means "dregs" or "sediment". Excrement as well simply means "anything excreted", which is also true of toothpaste, and even if you're only talking about bodily excrement, it also includes sweat and piss, but I'm not trying to talk about all those bodily fluids, I'm trying to talk about shit.
I was intrigued a while ago when I found a word that is similar to what I'm looking for - scat. It's not overly formal, but it's not so informal that it's vulgar... it's a casual word, you could say it to the king or a kid and no one would be confused or offended. The problem is, scat only refers to wild animal droppings (there's another genteelism for you). The same is true of "dung" or "manure". So, why is shit, specifically human shit even, so difficult to talk about? That's what I'd like to talk about today. The Word of the Day is: 'SHIT'
Shit n. Slang: Vulgar /shit/ 1. Excrement; Feces: Ugh, I stepped in dog shit. 2. An act of defecating; evacuation: He's taking a shit. 3. The Shits. Diarrhea. 4. Possessions, equipment, mementos, etc.; stuff: I put my ex's shit in a box and left it on my front porch. 5. Pretense, lies, exaggeration, or nonsense: I don't want to hear your shit right now. 6. Something inferior or worthless: Her boyfriend treats her like shit, but she won't leave him. 7. Abusive treatment, unpleasant consequences, or general misfortune: I'm not going to take your shit anymore! 8. A selfish, mean, or otherwise contemptible person: You dumb little shit! 9. Narcotic drugs, especially heroin or marijuana: My guy only sells the purest shit. 10. Anything at all; the least thing (usually in the negative): You don't know shit about me. ♦v.i. 11. To defecate. ♦v.t. 12. To exaggerate or lie to: Are you shitting me?Nobody really likes talking about shit. Y'know, I started thinking about this when I was watching a social commentator in a recent online seminar. I won't mention names, but during the Q& A they were asked about taboos, so they said "I have no shame, I talk about every taboo - politics, religion, drugs, sex and death", and my first thought to that was "what about shit?"
And that thought didn't come from nowhere - a long time ago I saw a fascinating video by Hank Green on the SciShow talking about the Taboos of Science; in that video, he discussed scientific taboos - such as cloning, ethnicity, spirituality & toilets - and the risks such taboos bring to scientific funding, research, education and, ultimately, knowledge. So, this made me think of the poo taboo.
Now, this seminar was quite casual, the speaker was very open and honest, but it was also being filmed, so they couldn't swear. but, they also couldn't just say 'I talk about all the taboos: religion, politics and poo" since that sounds... off, doesn't it? That's what sent me down this rabbit-hole in the first place. We don't like talking about shit. Or poo, or crap, or feces.
There's a couple of reasons for it, I'm not stupid I do "get" why it bothers people. Heck, I had this idea a month ago, but when I first considered doing this during my Countdown, I thought "ugh, I don't want to do the poo post for my Countdown" - but then I realized, that was because of my own taboo. I think this is important to talk about, but even I feel embarrassed having to talk about shit. We all are, I mean, shit itself often smells bad, and it often has a lot of bacteria on it so it can make other people sick; it often attracts flies, which can be a sign of rot and decay so there's that association, people often think shit is disgusting. But, if that were all, then it wouldn't explain how we can be so casual about manure and dung... no, I think it's much simpler than that. I think the reason there's no "casual" word for human shit, the reason why we don't feel casual about it is because shitting is a vulnerable thing. It's something we have to do, we can't just "not do it" (at least, we can't hold it in for very long), and when we do take a shit, we are vulnerable, we're often stuck in a small room, with parts of our body naked and exposed, and we're stuck there, sitting or crouched over, for about a minute on average.
Now, I'm not just in a mood for scatological humour, I didn't write this just so I had an excuse to write "shit" several times. See, this matters because this year I'm talking about "sickness", and the biggest danger this taboo has is, specifically, sickness and disease.
Did you know that only half of the world's population has access to a toilet? Most people reading this have a toilet - some of you may even be on your phone, reading this while sitting on the toilet - but several billion people don't have that luxury. But, we all have to shit, someone once wrote a very informative book on the topic, so some of these people are forced into practicing "open defecation", which means they have to take a shit outside (unless they dig some kind of pit latrine). This isn't just a problem because it can smell, but it's dangerous since this puts people at much higher risk of contaminating groundwater and/or the soil. Not to mention the danger it puts people in from insects, animals and other people - women are especially at risk of being attacked or molested when someone follows them as they try to find a secluded spot to take a quiet shit.
And that's not even getting into the fact that people want privacy and dignity when they're shitting - but I'm here to talk about the health issues. There's a reason why Western countries don't have huge issues with dysentery, ebola, hepatitis, intestinal worm infections, typhoid fever and schistosomiasis, and it's not because we're smarter, and it's certainly not because of iPhones and cars - it's because we have flushable toilets which send our shit away to be processed and safely disposed of.
But the problems of the poo taboo aren't all in the third world - which cancers do you think are the most deadly? Which cancers do you think kill the most people, and which cancers have the worst survivability rate?
If you said breast cancer, or brain cancer, I don't blame you, those cancers are well-known and they get a lot of headlines, there are a lot of charities and non-profit organizations for those. But, according to the World Health Organization, the cancers that have killed the most people are lung cancer, followed by colorectal cancer & then stomach cancer. Now, we don't hear about those as much - for lung cancer, it's because we blame the victim "it's their fault for smoking" (even though smoking isn't the only cause of lung cancer) - but, I'm talking about shit, so setting lung cancer aside, if colorectal cancer is the second-deadliest cancer, why do so few people know that?
On August 28th of this year (just two months ago), Chadwick Boseman died after years suffering from his own colorectal cancer, and in the days following, several of his co-workers and colleagues revealed that they had no idea - he'd kept it all a secret, despite the pain and chemotherapy. This was partly because he believed he'd get better (his condition worsened quickly and drastically in the week prior to his death), but several people have said that it was to maintain his "pride and dignity". Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but I can't help but wonder if he'd have been so reticent to tell people about his diagnosis if he'd had bone cancer.
And then there is colonic irrigation. There are people who believe that "toxins" build up in your lower bowels and needs to be "cleansed". Not only is toxin a buzzword used by quacks in a lot of alternative medicines, but your bowels have a garden of bacteria and microflora that help to digest and clean your intestines, and the skin inside of your bowels is often quite sensitive (since it can continue to digest and collect nutrients, meaning it can be very thin and porous). So, when people flush it with water, or saline or coffee or whatever other liquids they want to squirt up your arsehole, you can cause damage to your bowels. People think your colon is dirty and unhealthy, but in reality colon cleansing is unhealthy, and can cause electrolyte imbalance, infection, heart-attack and in extreme cases, people have been left with damage to the bowel such that they have an enema dependency - which means they lose the ability to shit without medical assistance... You don't need to clean the shit out of your colon - it does that naturally, that's its whole job, and if you mess with it you can cause serious damage to yourself.
There is only one disease I've heard that causes "toxins" in the bowels, auto-brewery syndrome where carbs in your digestive tract are broken down by bacteria, fungus or yeast and ferment into alcohol. But the treatment isn't sticking a hose up your arse (because, like I've explained, that's very dangerous); instead, ABS is treated with palliative care for alcohol intoxication where necessary, and treatment with antibiotics/antifungals and diet therapy to reduce carbohydrates in the gut.
People act stupid when it comes to shit and shitting, especially where health is concerned since that just magnifies the whole vulnerability aspect. The worst part about all this is that I'm not really sure how to fix it. Shit is still gross, and people still feel uncomfortable about it to the point of being unable to talk about it - but some other, smarter people have some solutions...
For sanitation and toiletry issues, the United Nations created World Toilet Day - it's November 19, mark it on your calendar! - a day for action and education regarding issues of open defecation and lack of sustainable sanitation around the world.
For Colorectal Cancer, March is National Colon Cancer Awareness Month, and I think we should all stay aware. Chadwick Boseman was only one of many great people who were diagnosed with and/or died from this particular cancer:
Audrey Hepburn, the world famous actress; Charles M. Schulz, the creator and artist of Peanuts; Eartha Kitt, the singer, actress and activist; the Queen Mother, royalty and spouse of King George VI; Neville Chamberlain, prime minister of the U.K.; Ronald Reagan, the 40th U.S. president & countless other friends, family and loved ones, who had no celebrity, but were nonetheless cherished and mourned have suffered from or died from this disease.
And as for ignorance and quackery that takes advantage of our own shame and vulnerability to peddle useless or dangerous medicines and devices to cure your arse or be shoved up your rectum... let's treat such pseudoscience like the shit it is, and dispose of it - it does nothing but harm.
I'm the Absurd Word nerd, and until next time, I hope we can all be less ashamed or vulnerable of the shit we do every day. It's natural, it's human, it's healthy and although it can smell, if you treat it like an unmentionable taboo, that's when it really hits the fan... now if you excuse me, I'm gonna go have a shit.
