For, I was born thirteen nights before Halloween, and so in celebration of this dark time, I count down the nights with a post each night, like a grain of sand trickling down the hourglass.
But this year, to me, is especially sinister, because I am twenty-seven years old. And twenty-seven happens to be my favourite number . . .
I’m not exactly sure why, but it has always appealed to me. It could be because 27% of the universe is said to be Dark Matter, in the standard Lambda-CDM model of cosmology; it could be because there are twenty-seven bones in the human hand; it could be because the titular being of pure evil from Stephen King’s novel, known only as ‘IT’ returns to Derry every 27 years; it could be because Brian Jones, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain & Amy Winehouse, as well as every other member of the 27 Club died at the age of twenty-seven.
Either way, tonight it is my birthday, and so we are beginning the Halloween Countdown:
A count of the days, counting down from thirteen,From today, thirteen nights till we see Halloween.In the last few years, I have noticed that I have a tendency to prefer psychological horror. The words that have corrupted these countdowns with their theme have been “ignorance”, “anxiety” and “waste” - words relating to sickness of the mind, absence of thought and how people waste the time that is their life. Even when the words were “bloody” and “monster”, I spoke more about the horror of thinking like a monster, or how the the thought of blood and weakness. I’ve never truly embraced physical horror.
For this reason, this year, the Word of the Day is: ‘TORTURE’
Torture /’tawchə/ n. 1. The act of inflicting excruciating pain, as punishment or revenge, as a means of getting a confession or information, or for sheer cruelty. 2. A method of inflicting such pain. 3. (often pl.) The pain or suffering caused or undergone. 4. Extreme anguish of body or mind; agony. 5. A cause of severe pain or anguish. ♦v.t. 6. Tor·tured,Tor·tur·ing. To subject to torture. 7. To afflict with severe pain of body or mind: My back is torturing me. 8. To force or extort by torture: We'll torture the truth from his lips! 9. To twist, force, or bring into some unnatural position or form:trees tortured by storms. 10. To distort or pervert (language, meaning,etc.).This year, rather than spine-tingling, blood-curdling, disturbing horror, I want to traverse into the realm of blood, pain, gore & viscera. I want real harm. So, rather than a “dark crevice”, this year, the blog is more of a “deep chamber”, a torture chamber for these sad and innocent victims.
I have this obsession with psychological torture because, to me, it's the more robust kind of torture. As someone who occasionally suffers from his own insanity, I feel a very clear and present danger from the demons that lurk within my psychoses. And as someone who has lived a very privileged life - privileged enough to have earned 27 years of it so far - pain isn't something that I encounter in my life. At least, not pain inflicted upon me, anyway.
As well, since writing is the passion that I've been cursed with, physical pain feels much less meaningful in a story. I can't exactly stab the reader when I want them to empathize with my characters, but I can potentially make them feel a little scared, a little worried, a little lost and alone. Psychological torture is more transmissible in words, and thus it seems more powerful in writing. After all, if I do nothing but cut my characters into pieces, then the story will be rather boring. After all, there's only so many times you can swing an axe before your arm gets tired . . .
Not to mention that there are some who can brave the blade, face the firestorm and come out moderately unscathed. It's often seen as a kind of heroism to face torture and come out the other side. Survival is, after all, a virtue. And, unless you're the kind of person who giggles at cripples, even those amongst us scarred and dismembered by physical torture are seen as whole and valid persons. Whereas, if you are scarred by psychological torture, it can change the way you live your life.
But, this point of view is narrow. As though someone had stabbed an apple-corer in my eye, I am not seeing the full picture. People are not merely "scarred" or "unscarred"; writing isn't merely about "feeling" or "unfeeling" & torture is not simply either "psychological" or "physical".
The world is painted in shades of grey - dare I say, more than a mere fifty - and where these ideas all intermix in an unmitigated gradient is the place that we'll be exploring in this Halloween Countdown.
I have plans for lists and editorials about pain and tortures both old and new; works of torturous fiction; melancholy explorations of the true horrors of torturing the innocent & explicit writings of tortures that we inflict upon ourselves.
If that pleases you… then you are one sick individual, and exactly the kind of person who will enjoy the next fortnight or so. Stick around as we count our way down to Halloween.
Until next time, I'm the Absurd Word Nerd, and I'll be seeing you again real soon. Sleep tight.
