Today, I’m in the mood to be angry. I was angry yesterday, and so to purge this particular brand of bile out of my system, I feel I need something that I can get good and angry at.
See, my last blog post was late, and so it meant, in order to keep up with my unofficial update schedule, I would have to come up with a new post in two days. And since I also have a lot of shit to do today, I can’t spend forever working on my blog.
But, as I mentioned in my 50 Shades of Twilight post, Hatred can be a constructive tool. So I am putting my untapped rage to good use, and I’m going to talk about something that I can rant about for pages on end, so I can write this out nice and quickly. The only problem is, some of you might get hit in the crossfire of my rant, as today’s topic isn’t for the light-hearted. If you have a problem, that’s what the Comments Section is for.
The Word of the Day is: 'EUTHANASIA'.
Euthanasia /yūthə’nayzhə/ n. 1. Painless death. 2. Also, active euthanasia, the deliberate bringing about of the death of a person suffering from an incurable disease or condition, as by administering a lethal drug or by withdrawing existing life-supporting treatments.You know what I like? Life. It’s awesome. It encompasses all of my favourite things, like books, movies, sex, food & dick jokes. Because without life, there is nothing. Nothing to be, nothing of this earth to perceive, unless of course there is an afterlife. But until that is proven, we can agree, that from a Living, Human Perspective: Without Life, There is Nothing.
So you could say, that I am Pro-Life . . . unfortunately that term has been adopted by misogynistic assholes who think women should be subservient to undeveloped foetuses. But I digress.
The point is, life is the coolest thing ever. That is why people fight so hard to preserve life. To make it work, to make it better. In fact, you could say, that the purpose of life, is to make life better.
So I don’t like it when people end it. I don’t like murder, I don’t like war, I don’t like execution and I don’t like suicide.
So, as a rule, I hate Euthanasia.
Now, before you go shitting your britches about human rights, freedom & Right to Die. Let me make one thing clear – Shut up. Shut the Fuck Up.
There is only one time when it is okay for you to die, and that is when you are dying. I don’t really approve of that kind of death either. But it can’t be helped. It’s natural.
I consider this the same way that I consider shit. It stinks, it’s messy & I never want to encounter it when I go for a walk. But it’s going to happen, so all I can do is deal with it when it happens try, and try to avoid it in the intervening time. Hell, you can quote me on that:
“Dying is Shit.”
-
Absurd Word Nerd, 10:23am, February 26 2013
And before
some hippy dullard starts with that:“everybody is dying” bullshit – let’s get something straight. Life is about Survival. Death is the result of not surviving. Death is, quite literally, failing at life. Everybody is not dying. Everyone is living, and surviving, until they die.
And let me explain something to you other dissenters:
You Do Not have the Right to Die.
You Have the Right to Live.
Choosing to waive that right is your fault, not mine, but don’t expect me to approve of your suicide.
And let’s be clear here. Euthanasia is Suicide.
I hate Euthanasia for the same reason I hate suicide. Because it is giving up. It is more often than not a long term solution to a short term problem, and even if you suffer from a condition that can’t be cured, then killing the patient to remove the pain, is throwing out the baby with the bathwater.
If you have lived with pain your whole life, well at least you got to live it. It’s sad, yes. I know.
But when you decide to kill yourself because you are in pain, despite friends, family, associates, workmates and people who know you, you are being selfish. Suicide is the most selfish act anyone has ever committed.
Now, some of these people think:
“I’ve suffered enough, I deserve to be a little selfish.”
Alright, fine. I’m not going to stop you, but I do not approve of murder, even if the patient does.
Because when you want someone else to kill you, the issue isn’t about your freedom or rights anymore. If you want to waive your right to life, fine. Step in front of a bus. Jump off a cliff. Roll your wheelchair into a swimming pool.
If you’re paralyzed from the neck down, there are other methods. Stop eating. Stop breathing. Sign a DNR and wait for your next seizure. Choke on your own tongue.
It’s your body, you have the right to do with it what you will. But NOBODY has the right to Kill another human. And you don’t have the right to put that kind of traumatizing shit on someone else. You want to be selfish, and die – FINE!
But suicide does not deserve respect. It deserves psychological treatment, prevention & care. So if you ask me to help you, I am going to do the right thing. I’m going to help you. If you want to kill yourself, the following people will be happy to help:
American Hotline: 1800 784 2433 or 1800 273 8255
Australian Hotline: 13 11 14
Chinese Hotline: 852-2382-0000
German Hotline: 030-44 01 06 07
Indian Hotline: 2630 5544
South Korean Hotline: 82-51-804-0896
United Kingdom Hotline: 08457 90 90 90
I picked these countries based on my global traffic. If you are depressed, and these numbers don’t help, you should check out the resources at Befrienders.org, since they have a great search engine for crisis line contact information.
Now I know some people read that and think:
“Where is your heart! These people are suffering, don’t they deserve to die in peace!”
No. They waived that right when they decided to jump the queue. They have decided that they will no longer be a part of this society; so why should society help you to do so?
Selfishness does not deserve a painless death. If you think you can’t handle a bit of suffering before you die, you need to wake the fuck up.
Life is short, death is forever. If you can’t suffer through an hour, a day, or a week of dying in order to die; you don’t really want it. Stop pretending, and start seeking help.
Stop wasting my time with these pleas for human rights and tears of pain and bullshit. Because when you waive your right to life, you also waive the right to be a member of a logical discussion. Meanwhile, I retain the right to direct you to a doctor.
Because I see what is happening here. These people aren’t looking for rights.
If you want to die, you can. You don’t need a government sanctioned murder team, or a bill from congress that says you can die.
But that’s not what people ask for when they ask for euthanasia. What I see is people asking for two things:
1. Clean Hands
Killing yourself is messy, selfish, guilty work. And in many religions it is a sin, frowned upon or detested by God and its followers. In many cultures it is seen as sick, wrong and horrible (for good reason).
So these people want someone else to do their dirty work. They can’t do it themselves, so they want us to help. Or, very likely, they are afraid that they’ll stop half-way through, due to common sense.
Newsflash: if you can’t do it yourself, then you don’t really want to. That nagging feeling of conscience and fear is the sign you’re not completely insane. If you think your death has to be painless, then you aren’t suffering enough to need euthanasia. And if you think that there is nothing wrong with other people killing you, then you don’t really know what you’re asking for. You don’t ask SANE people to do something so stupidly INSANE because you don’t want to get your hands dirty.
Suicide is supposed to hurt. So does shit when you force it. It means you’re doing it wrong. Remember, Dying is Shit, and I am not going to help you to shit your pants.
2. Respect
This is the big one. This is what set me off. You see, I first came up with the idea for this post when I was watching a Tabloid News program, and there was this woman pleading for the Australian Government to legalize euthanasia. But then they showed footage of this woman walking around, sitting for interviews and crying at her kitchen counter. And my first thought was: “Why can’t you kill yourself?”
Look, I don’t want her to die. But she does. And she was perfectly physically capable of stepping into traffic; she had access to a pool, drugs and razor blades. There were a million ways she could die.
So what could she possibly need euthanasia for?
That’s when I realized. Oh . . . OH! Oh, no way . . .
She doesn’t want the ability to die. She wants my permission. She wants the world to say:
“If you want to kill yourself, that’s fine with us.”
And that is why I wanted to- No, felt the NEED to write this post.
For people like this crazy woman, the only problem with killing yourself is that people, like me, say that suicide is wrong. And they don’t want to be remembered as the crazy person that killed themself. They can’t just jump in front of a bus, because people would call them sick. People will think that there is something wrong with you. People will call out your act as mental illness, because that’s what it is.
So they want us to give them the thumbs up and say:
“Yeah man, it’s cool.”
Well, I say: No.
No it’s fucking not. If you are dying, then die. If you are living, then live. Hell, I have nothing wrong with you signing a DNR and letting nature take its course, because otherwise that is just science interfering with nature.
But if you are actively trying to stop a beating human heart, then I do not approve. I will not be a part of it, because you are broken. Desire for survival is necessary for evolution. If you do not desire to survive, then you are sick. Seek help. If me disapproving of your death is the only thing keeping you alive, then you’re DAMN RIGHT I disapprove!
Because if you do kill yourself, after you die, I will call you a weak, selfish individual for the suffering you are putting on any person who has ever known you.
Because at that point, it’s not about the end of suffering. Suffering doesn’t end, it isn’t being destroyed, it’s being transferred to everyone else.
So I do not respect suicide, and I never will.
If you want Euthanasia legalized, you are wrong. If you want to be Euthanized, let me reintroduce you to my friends:
American Hotline: 1800 784 2433 or 1800 273 8255
Australian Hotline: 13 11 14
Chinese Hotline: 852-2382-0000
German Hotline: 030-44 01 06 07
Indian Hotline: 2630 5544
South Korean Hotline: 82-51-804-0896
United Kingdom Hotline: 08457 90 90 90
Befrienders.org
Euthanasia is what happens when logical people lower themselves to the level of people who aren’t thinking straight. But they’re not crazy. They’re Sick, Depressed or Mentally Ill. But the thing is, Mental Illness can be treated. Death can’t.
I want you to remember that next time someone talks about legalizing Euthanasia.
Right, I’m not angry anymore. I hope you have a good day. And as the Vulcans say:
“Live long . . . and Prosper.”
