For some stories, this is easier than others, as some ideas have a great deal more potential than others, and for others it would require a very talented writer to make it work.
I am saying all of this right at the beginning because I want to say that I don't think that the concept of writing yet another Saw movie was necessarily going to suck. I do believe that it is a "bad idea", in the sense that there is a lot of risk involved, especially in a series which has already come to a slow, painful conclusion.
But, as much as I never wanted another Saw movie, the reason I inevitably watched Jigsaw (I mean, the other reason, not just "so I could blog about it"), is because I felt like, if it was done right, they could reboot the series to recapture the style and intrigue of Saw, whilst telling a great story.
So, the idea behind Jigsaw could be have been a great movie. However, one of the reasons I know this for a fact is because the best way to turn it into a great movie already exists, and that movie is called Saw II.
Several people, locked in a building both owned and engineered by a famous serial killer, with personalized traps for each player, with specific rules of play and the promise of freedom for those who successfully complete their game, whilst the police in the adjacent storyline are piecing together evidence and trying to find out where the game is taking place - all the while not realizing that the actual killer is toying with them - and in the end, the twist is that the killer wasn't working alone.
Yeah . . . that's Saw II, and that's also the exact storyline of Jigsaw. The traps are different, because . . . "duh", a staple of this series is having new and different traps each time. Otherwise, this is that same idea but done much, much worse. And maybe you disagree that Saw II is "a great movie", but it's definitely a greater movie than Jigsaw.
But, the reason it sucked isn't just because the idea is unoriginal - a lot of ideas are unoriginal. Making a sandwich is not an original idea, that doesn't mean that you can't make an amazing sandwich.
It ruins this movie because using the exact same idea in the same movie series gets old much faster. In fact, that twist I talked about has already been done three times before. This is the fourth time they've used that "twist", in a movie that is now eight movies long, half of them now have had the exact same twist ending.
The second major reason why this sucked is because rather than rebooting this series, and trying to recapture the greatness of the first few films, instead this movie just picked up right where it left off, warts and all.
So, instead of writing great characters, and basing traps off of the ironic way in which the trap is going to test them, it just creates random traps for random people that will hurt or kill them in the most spectacular way possible. So, yes, this is yet more torture porn, without any of the psychological aspects previously explored in the first few movies. But, rather than create believable people with believable flaws, we have yet more "Acceptable Targets" for our killer to eviscerate.
But, this film added a third aspect which totally destroyed the fun for me, and that aspect is science-fiction. A major flaw in the Saw franchise is the foresight of the Jigsaw killer, because in several of the movies he creates traps with multiple stages, as well as complex mind-games, many of which rely upon the killer knowing the outcome of the trap beforehand. This is present in several of the movies, and this one as well, but in this one it's even worse - one of the later traps relies on there being only two people left to take part in it - which means that he had to know for a fact that right people would survive twice, in order for the trap to work. So, we know that the killer must be psychic, that's the only explanation.
But, that aside, several of the new traps in this series work by magic. The film doesn't say that it's magic, but some traps would be impossible otherwise. In several of the traps, the only way to free yourself is by doing as you're told - spilling your blood, or stabbing yourself. However, once the characters cut themselves, their locks magically come undone. They don't "find a key", "activate a mechanism", the locks just snap open, because the plot needed them to.
In one scene, a character needs to reach between some incredibly sharp wires to retrieve something, but when he attempts to use a long stick to do so, the trap is triggered and snaps it in half. Yet, when he reaches in with his hand, it doesn't trigger, and he retrieves it safely.
And worst of all . . . and it always annoys me when films do this. The filmmakers seem to have forgotten that medical laser beams don't exist, sure, we have technology which suggests that it may be possible in the future, maybe a few decades down the track, but as it stands it's currently impossible. The same thing happened for the creators of Now You See Me, when they somehow "forgot" that hyper-realistic, three-dimensional holograms don't exist. And the film doesn't even need it. Remember how I mentioned that scene, where a character nearly gets his hand cut by sharp wires? You could recreate the effect with the laser cutters just by using the super-sharp wires from that trap.
Oh, and did I mention that some of the traps are inescapable? Because, yes, more of the traps are inescapable, making them completely pointless as any kind of "test". So much of this film could have been better with some minor tweaks . . .
And this film kept on doing that. It had some ideas that were really cool, but then rendered them lame by the way that it was executed. Usually, the people who are in these traps are chosen because they are "wasting their life" in some way; in earlier Saw movies, people were chosen for things like: cheating on their wife; drug addiction; lying; self-harm; insurance fraud; self-destruction due to grief; obsession with work & kidnapping.
This film begins by hinting at the concept that, maybe, this is still the case. One person was a thief, one person was a dishonest businessman, one was a drunk . . . but throughout the film, we learn that every single person is a killer - by directly or indirectly leading to the death of an innocent person. That's NOT good storytelling!
As well as this, there was a trap which I actually thought was kind of interesting. These films have frozen, burned, cut, drowned, melted, crushed & eviscerated people before, but I think that this was the first one threatening to bury someone alive. Sure, the mechanism for escape is contrived and not well done, but at least it was new . . . but, this film ruins it by stopping half-way through the trap to throw knives at them. WHY?! You finally came up with an original idea, something I hadn't seen before, and you stop so that you can go back to throwing sharp things?
Oh, and the part of this film that bothered me the most - even though it wasn't the worst thing, it was present through the whole movie - everything was too clean. The first trap has shiny, metal walls. The sharp wire trap I mentioned before looked like it had been polished. The scene where the characters are being buried alive, had them being buried by clean, pure, fresh-looking grain. Even the set-piece trap of the film, the trap that they were clearly the most proud of - the spiralizer - looked like it had been painted.
Have none of the set designers or prop masters in this industry ever heard of "ambience"? Personally, I thought that part of the reason why the Jigsaw killer liked setting his traps in dingy factories, run-down houses and dark rooms is because he saw these tests as punishments, he wanted to bring them to the darkest, lowest point in their life, so that they could return to the world and see how bright it is. But, either way, the reality is that these films are set in grimy, dark, broken and run-down places is because these are horror movies, and places like that evoke an atmosphere of isolation, sickness, crime, danger and mystery. When you sweep the floors, polish the set and turn up the lights, your movie doesn't feel like a Saw movie.
And that's why this film fails so miserably. Yes, it has some of the minor thematic elements like the Billy puppet, the tapes, the traps, the twist . . . but, this feels like the cheap knock-off that it is. I mean, I say "cheap", even though the budget was bigger than the first two Saw movies combined (and remember, those were the best of the series), but that's because I'm talking more about what it's worth, not what it cost.
But, I'm not just here to be negative. After all, I don't think this film is as bad as the last Saw movie. I think this is about the same level as "Saw V" - not the worst, but still not good enough to recommend others see it.
So, rather than continue complaining and deconstructing the film, I'm going to do something constructive. Like I said at the beginning of this post, I honestly believe that you can turn any idea into a great movie - yes, even the idea of "let's continue the Saw franchise". So, let's keep the same title, same basic idea of people scared that Jigsaw is still alive & I'll even keep the characters similar, and borrow some of the ideas, just for fun. So, here is . . .
THE AWN'S STORY OUTLINE FOR A BETTER JIGSAW MOVIE
So, here is how I would do my movie. One of the aspects that this film brought up is the idea of "Jigsaw Worship Sites". So, what if we start the film with someone trapped in a dark room, tied to a chair in someone's garage. He starts screaming, the light comes on, and and in front of them is a man wearing a black hood with red highlights (Saw's usual get-up). The person then plays the tape, in Jigsaw's voice, and it says the usual spiel "I'd like the play a game. you are a terrible person, because you slept with my wife. You have two minutes to admit the truth, or you will burn."
Then as the trapped man protests, the guy in the hood pours gasoline on him.
After less than a minute of this, the police burst in, and arrest the guy, releasing his victim. As they drag him away, he screams "I am Jigsaw! This is Game Over for you!" nonsense like that.
Then we can go title screen, or whatever. Then we go to the police as they interview this guy, he basically makes it clear that he's a whackjob. Meanwhile, in the observation room, our main police character people are talking about how despite the fact that he killed so many people and resulted in one of the greatest manhunts for the police department, ever since John Kramer died, there have been a number of attempted copycat killers like the new guy here. We can reference stuff like, people who worship school shooters and other realworld drama, and how five or so people have died now, because of these copy-cats.
We flick back to the interview, and we learn that the tape he used had John Kramer's voice on it. The copycat admits that he downloaded it from a worship site, it's basically a "text-to-speech" program that reads out any text in John Kramer's voice. The police check out this website, we can do some character development, then they see a link to someone saying "real jigsaw murder" or something, and they they discover a video livestream of what looks like a standing coffin in a small, empty pool, and then we can get to our traps.
The Coffin Trap
A coffin-shaped box, with wide slats so that the person inside can see out, and light gets through. Inside stands a woman with grey hair, not too old, but not young. Her left hand is bent up so that it's near her face, and held in place on the side of the "coffin" with three screws through the palm - each one held in place with a washer. Around her neck is a mechanized "lobotomy collar" (it is designed to slowly stab a skewer under her chin and up through her brain). As well, there is a tape recorder, hanging on a screw near her face, and a screw driver hangs on a chain above her, poking through the slats.
When she awakens, the tape explains that the woman, Carla, is homeless and a thief. [dialogue: "You have been living in a box, but tonight you might just die in one."]. When she grabs the screwdriver, it will pull the chain, opening the hopper and slowly burying the box with dirt.
The Tractor Trap
A man is tied by thick ropes to the seat of a heavily modified tractor, which has the seat turned and raised so that he is facing the large wheels, which have nails and staples all over them. There is also a noose around his neck on a very long rope, that loops down and ties to wind around the axel. He, like the other person has a special collar around his neck, the "crusher collar" (essentially, a sort of vice, with clamps either side of his jaw, designed to slowly close together, and crush his head). In the seat cushion, between his legs, a kitchen knife has been stabbed He awakens to the sound of the tractor when it suddenly starts up, and a loud speaker attached to the wall tells him his fate. The character, Mitch, is a mechanic who sold a bike with faulty brakes, [dialogue: "You will need to cut yourself free before you reach the end of your rope. But, I'm afraid this vehicle doesn't have any brakes either . . ."]. He is forced to use his feet to stop the spinning wheels, and then cut the rope.
The Drink Trap
A man awakens in a room with several smashed beer and wine bottles all over the ground, he has nothing but a thin t-shirt and shorts on, and his hands secured behind him with handcuffs, and on the floor near him is a tape recorder. He, also, has a collar on, the "knife collar" (A collar with several knives sitting up like teeth around the edge. They are designed to bend downwards over time, to stab into the neck). On one side of the room, at eye-level there is a tap, pouring dirty water into a sink at foot-level. On the other side of the room is a very thick, clear glass pipe, at least a metre tall, secured to the wall with thick, metal brackets - in this pipe is a key attached to a ping-pong ball.
When he finally plays the tape, Ryan is told that because he is an alcoholic, he needs to walk over the broken bottles to retrieve the key from the bottom of the glass [dialogue: "Will you be able to fill the glass with liquid, before the room fills with your blood?"] Ryan will be forced to use his mouth to hold the water. The first time he tries it, he should spit the water out, and gag, to show that it does taste gross.
The Smoke Trap
In this room, there is simply a woman lying on the floor, with a cast-iron fireplace burning away, and the pipe leaking smoke throughout the room; the room has one locked door, with a 6-figure combination lock. She also has a collar, the "noose collar" (this one is essentially a steel-wire noose, which is designed to slowly tighten over time). As well as the noose, a tape recorder hangs on a chain around her neck. Anna awakens, coughing, due to the smoke. Her tape says that she suffocated her child, and so now she must suffer through choking smoke in order to escape. It explains that the code to unlock the door is written on the walls (it is in relatively small writing), and she must find them and enter the numbers before she chokes on the smoke.
She at first tries to stop the chimney, and burns herself as a result.
The Finger Locks
Once these people all break free of their traps, they leave them and enter a long corridor. It simply has four doors along one side, where they enter the room from their respective traps, one table on one side which has a hammer, a chisel (and maybe some other sharp tools) all chained to the table, as well as one tape recorder. There is a door marked exit, which is very heavily reinforced, and locked with an electronic lock.
On the free, long wall, there are four devices. Basically clear boxes, so that they can see inside. Each is designed with four holes, each close together and wide enough to fit one finger of one hand. but some of the finger-holes aren't long enough to fit an entire finger, and at the end of each finger-hole is a button.
The tape explains that each one of them is wearing a collar, which is slowly killing them, but there are keys to remove them on the other side of the door. Since they have all been so selfish in their lives, they must work together to collectively sacrifice something in order to leave the room. So, they simply need to activate each finger-lock, by reaching their hands into the box, through the holes, and pressing the buttons, but they will need to remove portions of their fingers, in order to fit each lock, using the tools on the table [dialogue: "Like any lock, you will need a key that fits. Which is why I have given you the tools to create your own."].
I might also steal that Shotgun trap, since that was kind of clever. Since, in my head, the killer will be upset because, the way they escape the finger traps is that all but one of the people involved will cut off their fingers - in several gutwrenching scenes of people measuring the shape of their hand, and putting the chisel against their finger . . . then raising the hammer - but the final person will decide they're not going to cut off their fingers, after seeing how painful it was. So, the others . . . do it for them. This upsets the new Jigsaw, so they decide to force them into another trap.
Also, in the background, we will have the police tracing the signal, and trying to hunt down this place where the livestream is taking place. But, my thinking is - to hell with the reveal in the show. I want the Jigsaw Killer to be a female, this time. The last time he had a girl helper, she was killed off for being too emotional. That's total bull. So, have a mature woman who is a fan of his because her father was in one of Jigsaw's traps, and that changed her life.
I haven't planned out the full scope of this because, well, this is just for fun. You could easily throw in more references to copy-cat killers, and the like. But, the idea is basically the horror that Jigsaw isn't a person, but an idea - the idea of inflicting traumatic growth upon people who are wasting their lives. So, the cops aren't battling a person, but an idea. Kinda like V for Vendetta . . . actually that movie had him torture someone in order to force them to learn something too, so yeah, a lot like that movie. Also, this is kind of reminiscent towards Untraceable as well.
The thing is, I haven't got a big plan for the ending, however if you want to go full on twisty-twisty woo, and play around with the timeline, you could make the girl - the one who decides to carry out these new traps - Corbett Denlon. Don't worry, I didn't know that name either until I looked it up, but that's the name of the girl whose father, Jeff, was the main character in Saw III; she was captured by Jigsaw for the purposes of that trap, and later rescued by the police. What if her experiences then, lead to her deciding to continue the legacy, in the name of both Jigsaw and her parents? Does that sound like a cool idea? I think so.
But, this is just for the sake of continuity fun-times . . . not necessary at all, but could be a fun continuity nod for geeks, like myself, and it's a fun, little twist. Oh, and the most important part of all - no lasers!
Anyway, that's how I would have written Jigsaw . . . if I had to. Or, alternatively, if someone paid me a lot of money to. If you think it's good, bad, crazy or something in between, feel free to comment below.
I'm the Absurd Word Nerd, and until next time, I'm going to take a break from the Saw franchise for a while. Because at this point, watching these movies is starting to really hurt.
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