Outbreak Diary - Day 002

I want to start this on a lighter note, because this might get a bit serious. So, first... I went for a walk today, and I liked it. I needed the exercise, and it was good to see so many people keeping their distance. I assume the people walking side-by-side are either family or couples - I believe that is perfectly okay but if not, maybe keep that in mind.

But, one thing pissed me off... joggers. Not every jogger, some of you were nice. I know social distancing isn't meant to mean "be social", but I said hello to people anyway (I want people to know that I'm still personable even if I'm literally not approachable, and it seemed to make some people smile) and I don't mind that joggers don't say hello back - you pass more people, it probably would get annoying, and you are probably a little more out of breath, that's fine.

What's NOT fine, is when joggers put their earbuds in, try to ignore the world, and run right past people less than half-a-metre away. Not only is it incredibly rude to do that, but it's dangerous. I had TWO joggers do this to me. I recognize that many of the footpaths are about a metre wide, meaning that you'd have to step off the path to keep the 1.5-metre distance, but every other person managed to do that, so there is no excuse not to - it's not like the ground was slippery, and even if it was, you're allowed to stop jogging for 4 seconds, and walk around. Your jog isn't more important than public health, you miserable oxygen thief.
In fact, that's the most important part, as I also said above, you guys breathe heavily. I don't care if you think you've improved your cardio, because it's a scientific fact that when you burn energy the chemical reaction of the breakdown that turns stored fat or nutrients into energy, requires oxygen and creates carbon dioxide as a byproduct. This means that when you use more energy, such as when you jog, you need to breathe in more to help this chemical process, and you need to breathe out more to exhaust the waste products of this reaction.
So, when you jog that close, you're breathing all up on me and everyone else you slip past, with your potentially-infectious respiratory droplets, not to mention potentially your sweat. If you can't jog, and keep your distance from other people like a respectful human being, buy a treadmill. Or, just stay inside and stop offending people with your presence.

Fear and Loathing in BrisVegas

Perhaps, I am at a slight advantage to most.

Early in January, I lost my job because the charity I worked for closed its retail sector, meaning my job dissolved - so, when thousands and thousands of people lost their jobs, I was no worse off.
I am an ambivert, so whilst I can occasionally go out with a group of friends, I find a lot of comfort being on my own - so, when people were told to keep their distance from friends and socialize less, I was no worse off.
Although I don't consider myself rich, I don't have many expenses, and I live with family which is fairly well off (probably upper-middle class, socioeconomically) - so, when the economy hit its slump, I was no worse off.
Most of the things that I take comfort and joy in, are watching movies (particularly DVDs), reading books (I have hundreds), listening to music (alone) & writing, both fiction and online journals like this - so, when people we're told to stay indoors as much as possible, I was no worse off.
Heck, I might even be better off, since it gives me more of an excuse to write.

So, perhaps the reason why I am not as bothered by all of the COVID-19 restrictions and hardships is because I have the privilege of not suffering from them. The worst thing this virus has done for me is, firstly, it means it's harder to find a job (Author's Note: I am still looking. Is anyone out there looking for a writer, barista or retail manager? Anyone? Please...), and secondly, it means I can't go to the movies, and I was looking forward to seeing that Fantasy Island movie - but hell, unless movie studios like losing money, I'm sure they'll find some way to let people download movies for a fee at home, so even that second part, I'm not so bothered by.

The reason I mention all this is, I am not at all worried about the coronavirus.
Of course, I am concerned - everyone should be concerned, this isn't a picnic - but I'm not upset, perturbed or afraid of it. And that's the big one, fear.
Last night, I was watching the channel 9 "Coronavirus - The Latest" program, because I find it interesting, and like I said yesterday, it's good to stay informed. But not only were the hosts often saying that they were scared, and also that many viewers were scared and that we all need to stay calm; but, there was also this Channel 7 PSA which had all these celebrities, actors, journalists, sportsfolk and media personalities saying things like "these are scary times", "stay safe", "keep your spirits up", "you're not alone" and "we're all in this together", along with the hashtag #together.
I thought it was really cute, and a good idea for people who are worried, and so people can stick together and not feel isolated, even if they have self-isolated.

But, it occured to me, I thought it was cute, but there must be people out there who need it - I mean, are you scared? Genuinely, you reader, are you scared? That's not a rhetorical question, by all means respond in the comments below, because I can only speak for my own experiences, and in my experience, I merely feel "annoyed, but complacent" in regards to all this.
Let me be the first to say, you entirely have the right to be upset, and you have the right to be very concerned. People are losing their jobs, the economy is buggered, I'm sure there are people out there on the verge of homelessness or at high-risk and not able to follow all of the health and safety guidelines, and I know for a fact that there are some issues with getting certain specialist or overseas medicines and people are even talking about this being as impactful to the economy, society, politics, culture and art as WW2 or The Depression.

So, I'm not stupid, I understand that there is reason to be worried. But, once again, I may be in a place of advantage because, well, I suffer from chronic anxiety - so despite all this stress, I was no worse off.

I've talked about it on this blog before, but if you're only reading these Outbreak Diaries, let me tell you, I take medication to manage my anxiety, but most importantly for you readers, I've come to understand what anxiety really is, and what it means.
You see, there are two types of stressors for an anxious reaction. I am sure there's an official term in the psychological field, but these are what I call them:

Irrational Stressors - These are the type I ususally suffer from, when I overthink something, and build some fantastic situation where no matter what I do, I will fail - a good example is "I can't find my keys; I'll never find my keys; now I can't drive anywhere; I'm trapped at home alone; my life is at a standstill," - as you can see, irrational, it's making irrational, illogical leaps from one thought to the other. There are often simple, rational ways around it, but the stress makes you lose perspective, so you're unable to see how irrational these fears are.

Overreactive Stressors - These are the type which, from what I can tell, people who are scared about coronavirus are suffering. So, I don't need an example, because it's people looking at the situation, like this coronavirus and thinking "I've lost my job, or the economy is struggling; I don't know what the future will hold, as these are new and uncertain times; people will die, and if I am not careful I and/or my family are at risk" - as you can see, this is rational, since this fear is real. But, that doesn't change the fact that anxiety (in the chronic, mental illness sense), is still an overreaction. See, even though this stressor is real and present, the stress still makes you lose perspective, so you're unable to see how you can deal with these real and present dangers.

Think of it like... there is a landmine in your back yard, and you know about it. A landmine is dangerous and deadly, and can definitely kill, disable, debilitate or seriously harm anyone that gets too close. It would be irrational to ignore it, but it would be just as irrational to freak out, run around the house screaming "bomb, bomb, bomb, we're all going to die!", or sitting in the corner crying, or whatever exaggerated scene of worry you can think of.
Yes, the bomb is real, and that is a real and present obstacle - but if you worry and stress, now there's two obstacles, there's two bombs on your property, the real one, and the one in your head that's making you stress out.

So, even though this is a real stressor and not an imagined one, and you can't make it go away by breathing deep and meditating, it doesn't change the fact that if you let it get the better of you, then you can still overreact.
That's why we had people panic-buying toilet paper and canned food, they were freaking the hell out and overreacting to a danger, and actually making things worse; because the people who could buy 12 bags of toilet paper were really screwing over the people who could only buy 1, and now can't buy any.
That's why we have people claiming that China bio-engineered this virus, or people claiming that there's a secret vaccine in America or that this is all an elaborate Jewish hoax (yes, people really are blaming the Jews for this, bigots and conspiracy theorists are close bedfellows), it was because people are scared at the idea of random and unforeseen viruses mutating and killing thousands of people, so they wanted to know that someone was in control, that someone could have predicted this; but this made things worse because it was dividing people and dehumanizing, rather than concerning ourselves with how to stop the spread, and help the people who have already been infected.

This is not to say that you're not allowed to be anxious, or stressed. It's a healthy, rational and human response to this to feel a bit scared. I'm not better than you, or more logical/rational just because I am not worried - I just have more practice at dealing with stress, because I'm at a higher risk of my own anxiety. So, you can feel stressed, but if you are starting to feel depressed, frightened, or worst of all panicked, please sit down and take a deep, deep breath - deep into the bottom of your lungs, then breath out (just be aware, if you do this four or more times, you can feel lightheaded); and take a moment to not just notice, but fully realize and be conscious of where you are, live in the present moment and not your fears of the future, since worrying about the "could be" is a great way to ignore the "right now".
Right now, you're home, or reading this on your phone somewhere, most likely isolated from friends. Why not spend some time with family, call your mate, maybe give that facetime thing a go - call your grandparents, they're probably scared, and would like to catch up. Or, if you know anyone in isolation, or who is at high risk, give them a call. It's a fact that it's not only easier, but therapeutic, to help someone else that's stressed than it is to help yourself when stressed.
It's not about distracting yourself from the worry; because that's a bad habit, you should identify what worries you, but don't just think about it, talk about it and help each other. If you don't know the answer, then ask someone who might, don't just assume you're lost and alone. Or, if you don't want to talk about it, then don't mire in your own fears - get up and do something productive, even if that's just having a laugh, tidying or disinfecting your house, or playing a boardgame. Or, if you can manage to, why not look around to see if there's anyone around you that's struggling, and see if you can help (from a safe distance, of course).
There's a lot that you can do, but we're all blind to it if you're too busy worrying about the landmine to disarm it...

Anyway, that's all from me today, I hope it helps. I'm the Absurd Word Nerd, and until next time, if you're still feeling stressed please leave me a comment and I'll do my best to respond.