Showing posts with label true story. Show all posts
Showing posts with label true story. Show all posts

Wednesday 26 October 2022

The Night I Got Bogged

Sorry, no time for a fancy Illustration. It's night 5 of the Countdown, and it's nearly midnight, so this will have to do.
Okay... y'know, when I picked the theme of Failure, I didn't think it would be so literal. I want to work on a listicle about small failures that got out of hand, but I've failed to substantiate (or succeeded in debunking) several of the most interesting ones; I wanted to work on a story, but I failed to come up with a good enough idea in time. Then, I wanted to work on a simpler list about "Film Failures", but I failed to take into account time management. So, it's 10pm, I just got home from work, and I don't have time to do anything that takes that much effort, so instead, I want to tell you a story.

I wasn't sure I wanted to tell this story, but it does involve failure quite a lot, and it's a true story meaning I won't have to do any research. This happened to me a little over a month ago...

- - -

See, I work at a restaurant, and at the time our head chef went missing, and I was kind of worried. He just failed to show up to work one day, and didn't answer his phone when anyone of us called, and I considered him a friend. He didn't seem like the kind of person to just leave and ghost everyone without saying anything, so I was worried. I thought maybe he got into a car accident or something, so one night after work, I decided to head around to his house to see if he was okay - if his car was in the driveway, I figured that was a sign he was still around.
Now, don't go worrying about him. I've come to learn, no, he IS the kind of arsehole to just leave without warning and ghost everyone. So don't worry about him, he's not worth worrying about.

What is worth worrying about is that I was driving around late at night, after a long day at work, and it had been raining all day. I don't know whether it was because I was tired, it was dark or I was just dumb, but I failed to find his place... I got well and truly lost. See, I was driving through suburbia when I suddenly came upon a narrow, one-lane bridge that I'd never been to before. It was at this point I realized I was well and truly lost, and I decided, I really should turn around and go home. But, this bridge was narrow, and past the bridge, I was on this road with tall trees either side, much more rural than the suburbia I'd been in moments ago. I stopped the car, and I saw that there was a bit of a clearing to the left, with clear tiremarks leading into it. I thought it might have been a rudimentary carpark I could turn around in, and I didn't fancy the prospect of doing a fifteen-point turn on a narrow, two-lane road, so I turned into this clearing. Unfortunately, there were a lot of trees about, so I didn't fancy the idea of turning around here either, I'd have to check my mirrors to make sure I wouldn't bump into one of these thin trees. But, as I turned right, preparing to turn, I saw a little path, with clear tire-marks leading away. It looked like it curved around, and I was hoping it was a crescent that would lead back to the road. So, I turned down this path and started driving. I noticed one puddle deep in the tire-tracks, so I drove askew to go through it, but as I went past it, I felt my tires spinning on the wet grass, and I was a bit concerned, so I drove a little faster. But then, when I saw a second, much bigger puddle, instead of stopping, I drove askew again and hit the accelerator, but I'd failed to estimate just how deep this puddle was. My car tipped and fell into the puddle. I was left sitting in my car, which was now tipped slightly forward, but leaning to the right at about a thirty-degree angle. I tried the accelerator, but my car didn't move at all. I went into reverse and put the pedal down again, nothing. I tried this three or four more times, but the car wasn't even wiggling.
I was wearing my work clothes, and I didn't want to get them muddy (and I really didn't want to get mud all through my car, but after a while I decided to hop into the passenger seat, to use that as a kind of air-lock (or "sludge-lock") to keep the driver's seat part of the car clean.
So, I hopped over, got out of the car, and I decided to look at what I could do, with my phone. I could see how deep the puddle was - most of my tire was in the water, so I took off my hand-brake, put the car in neutral and tried to push the car forwards. But, that wasn't doing anything - the ground under my feet was too slippery, and even when I threw my weight against it, it wasn't moving at all. I figured strength alone wasn't going to help me here. So, instead, I grabbed a few fallen tree branches, and rammed them under the tire as hard as I could, in the hopes they'd get some kind of grip,  then I climbed into the car (after taking my shoes off in the passenger seat, and hopping into the driver's seat, in my socks). I tried to drive again, now with added friction... but that didn't do any better. I could feel the tire rubbing against the branch, and the engine was struggling a little, (the lights dimmed when I tried to reverse) but I wasn't moving, and I realized then how much water was flicking up when my tires span. I got out of the car again (hopped over the gear-shift, carefully put my shoes on again doing my best not to get mud on my hands, opened the door, and climbed up and out the angled door), and I grabbed the branch, but when I pulled it out from under the tire, it came free too easily - I thought it should have been rammed in the mud. That's when I realized - the front bumper of my car was resting on the muddy ground. The reason I'd failed to move the car was, the front-right driving wheel wasn't touching the ground at all, it was in the puddle with my car's chassis on the edge of the puddle No matter what I did, I couldn't move this car - I would need help.

So, I yanked all the branches out of the way and got in my car (taking my shoes off, sitting in the driver's seat). I considered calling my parents - I live with them, and I figured we all had Scout training, we could figure this out. But, I looked at the time... it was 10pm. I'd left work around 9, and my parents go to bed earlier than me. I didn't want to wake them up. Besides, I'm a card-carrying RACQ Member!
For those not in the know, RACQ stands for Royal Automobile Club of Queensland, it's a club that provides insurance, vehicle inspection, apparently banking for some reason... but most importantly, it provides Roadside Assistance, and that's what I needed.
Now, I don't live in Queensland, I live in New South Wales. Actually, I live in Albury-Wodonga, which is on the North side of the New South Wales, Victoria border (hence the name Albury is in NSW, Wodonga is in Vic, so we're two cities, but one community). Anyway, the point is, NSW is usually dealt with by NRMA (I believe that once meant "the National Roads & Motorist's Association", but it's not actually national, it mostly covers New South Welshmen), but as I understand it, these clubs usually operate interdependently.
Anyway, so, I call RACQ, using the number on my card. After waiting on hold for 15 minutes, I speak to a lovely lady and explain my situation. I say something like.
  "Hi, my name is Matt, look my car's been bogged, and I need help, but I'm not sure who to call. I'm with RACQ, but I live in New South Wales, is that okay?"
  "That's okay," she says. "I can't help you from here, but I'll just transfer you to the NRMA."
I appreciated that, since I didn't even need to write a new number down or whatever, I just get transferred over... but, I'm back on hold again.
Quick aside: Why is hold music the crappiest repeating loop of muzak-jazz in the world. It's not like it's calming to listen to shitty music through a crappy speaker whilst waiting on the phone.
Anyway, after another 15 minutes or so, I finally get through to NRMA, and I explain my situation.
  "Hey, I just called RACQ, I'm an RACQ member, but they transferred me here because I live in Albury now. My name is Matt, and I've got my car bogged."
  "Well, we don't usually help people whose cars get bogged," the lady says, rising my anxiety until she adds, "But, with the rains lately, we have been sending out tow-trucks to help people who are stuck. Can you just tell me where you are."
I put her on speaker phone as I then opened my GPS app to find out where I was. According to my phone, the nearest road (which I had turned off of, to enter that clearing) was called Island Road. Huh, I guess that bridge actually lead me onto an island, I think. So, I tell the lady "I'm just off island road"
She looks it up on her computer, then she says:
  "Oh, you're in Victoria? Just a moment..."
Then, she puts me on hold. Thankfully, I'm only on hold for five or so minutes before a woman answers the phone, telling me I'm talking to someone from RACV (i.e. the Royal Automobile Club of Victoria).
See, in Australia, the border between Victoria & New South Wales is the Murray River... but, the border officially and legally starts on the northern shore, so the moment I'd driven onto that bridge, I was technically in Victoria. When looking back on it, it was a fun fact, but when you're just trying to get some help pulling your car out of a puddle, it's bloody frustrating!
So, I tell this third nice lady "My name is Matt, my car is bogged just off Island Road, I NEED a tow to get out of here."
The lady then says "Okay, I'll just organize to send a tow truck out there to help you, can I get your information."
So, I tell them my full name, my license plate number, the make and model of my car, my phone number, and I think my birthday as well, just for fun.
Anyway after all this, it's about 10:30 when the lady says "Okay, we've called the guys out, they have your number so they'll text you when they're nearly there. But, it may take up to an hour to get out to you."
  "That's fine," I say, "I'm not going anywhere, I'll be fine... uh, should I do anything for when they arrive?"
  "If you're a potential danger to other drivers, you might want to put your hazard lights on. And don't get out of your car and wander around on the road. Otherwise, you should be fine."
I say okay, I hang up, I switch my hazard lights on and I lean back to listen to a podcast on my phone.

Unfortunately, the podcast I was listening to only had episodes 30 minutes long, so after that time, I didn't want to listen to another, because I figured "up to an hour" usually means "an hour, or less", and I didn't want to leave an episode half-way through. I tried reading my book, but I couldn't do that without my lights on, and since my lights had sort of flickered when I'd reversed, I was worried about flattening the battery. So, I wound the window down and watched the stark, dark trees either side of me blinking orange in the glow of my hazard lights.

After 45 minutes, I get a text. It tells me there's a tow-truck nearly there. I sit my seat back up straight, and wait for the truck. After five minutes, I get a phone call. It's the tow-truck driver.
  "Hey, mate, where are you?"
  "I'm just off Island Road, to the left", I tell him.
  "We're on Island Road, but I can't see you," he says.
  "Right, well, there's a little clearing to the left just past the bridge, and there's a muddy path that seems to go around."
  "How far are you from the road?" asks the tow-truck driver.
That's when I begin to worry... I remember my Dad vaguely mentioning that "roadside assistance" was literally limited to the roadside, and there was a legal distance beyond which was not considered "the side of the road". I guestimated that distance was about 50 metres, so I say to the guy "I don't know, maybe 50 metres."
  "Well, our truck's front-wheel drive, so we can't go in the mud," says the driver (which made me feel kind of stupid since, yeah, my car's front-wheel drive and I found that out the hard way). Also, he says, "and our tow-cable is only 20-metres long."
  "Oh..." I say. I'm relieved that this wasn't a coverage issue, but now this guy seems to be saying he can't help me at all.
  "Well, I don't want you guys to get stuck as well, but what am I supposed to do, then?"
I was hoping he'd tell me the number to call to get back in touch with RACQ (or RACV or whatever), or maybe give me the number of a better tow-trucking company. But, instead, the guy says.
  "You need someone with a four-wheel-drive to get you out. I recommend you go onto Facebook and find a local group of four-wheel-drive owners, and post a message asking for help."
  "I see," I said. I think I was able to hide the disappointment in my voice. "Well, thank you."

I hang up, the truck drives away, and I look at the time on my phone. It's approaching midnight, at this point - 11:24. I know the exact time because I have the record of when I made the call on my phone. See, over an hour earlier, I'd decided against calling my parents because I knew it was very late at night, and they were probably in bed. However, my Dad owns a 4WD... I was hoping to let them sleep, and keep all this to myself, but that plan, clearly, had failed. My parents were definitely in bed, but I knew I had to get home since I had work in the morning. And yeah, they're retired, so they can sleep in - but come on, it's still rude to call someone that late, even if it is an emergency.

So, I called my folks, and they came out with hooks and straps and gloves and wellington boots, and after thirty minutes of fussing around, we strapped up the car, Mum got in the front seat (she's lighter than me, so we figured it was better for her to be in the car), me behind pushing, with wellington boots on, and Dad driving the four-wheel-drive, we managed to get my car up and out of the puddle.
The cable did snap as we got near the road, but the car was out of the mud, no damage was done to the cars, and after making sure my car was running fine, we went home.

I was apologetic about waking them up, and they said it was fine, but Dad said "don't drive on unpaved roads when it rains", and my mother added. "Well, I'm tired, so if you don't mind I'm going to take off my shining armour, and go to bed."

So, all told, I don't think a single thing went right for me that night. Some of it was my own fault, I really shouldn't have driven through mud after a rainy day like that, and I should know exactly what roadside assistance means before I call for it. But, if there's one thing I learned from all this, it's that when things go wrong, you can always rely on your loving family to help you in times of need.

I'm the Absurd Word Nerd, and if there's two things I learned from this, the second one is that I probably get my wicked sense of humour from my mother. Until Next Time, take care, drive safe, and make sure you have someone you can rely on who drives a four-wheel-drive.

Thursday 9 April 2020

Outbreak Diary - Day 018

I'll be the first to tell you that morality is, by definition, subjective. A rock cannot be good or evil, because a rock is an object and has no will, it is amoral - and if a quality is reliant upon will and a thinking agent (a subject), it must be subjective. But, that doesn't change the fact that we can reach a general consensus, a kind of "agreed upon opinion" - this is essentially what people mean when they say common sense, they're referring to this vague, consensual group-opinion.
So, morality can seem objective, even though it isn't, because there are so few opponents of the group opinion, that they become "exceptions that prove the rule".

What the hell does this have to do with coronavirus? Well, a lot, as it turns out. Discussions of coronavirus talk about the curve - here in Australia we often talk about "flattening the curve". When people say that, they're referring to a graph representing the cases of coronavirus.
Now, it seems that the specific graph in question has changed, to "the curve of new cases of persons that are suffering from the virus", which has gone down. I blame journalists for changing the focus. Although the two tend to correlate, the graph for new cases changes more noticeably. It's harder to report on something slow and gradual and make it seem "immediate" and "exciting", so they switched to statistics that fluctuate more drastically. But, when we actually talk about the cumulative cases, we see exactly what people mean by "flattening the curve".
sourcehttps://www.flattenthecurve.com/covid-19/
You have probably seen this online, or perhaps even on the news, as they talk about COVID-19. The idea is simple, that if we take measures to prevent the spread of this virus, then less people will become infected with the disease, but if we don't more people will be come infected. Therefore the curve in this graph becomes more flat.
Do you know what that sounds like to me? Because it has a familiar ring to it...
Have your heard of the Trolley Problem?

sourcehttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trolley_problem
Also known as the Train Problem, in the scenario, you are a man standing at the fork of the tracks of a railed vehicle (i.e. a train, tram, trolley, etc), which is currently headed for five people (i.e. rail workers, a passenger car, a lost family, etc.) who for some reason (i.e. a tunnel, deafness, speed of the vehicle, etc.) will be hit and killed by the train. You have the ability to switch the tracks, to another line, however there is a single person (i.e. a rail worker, a fat man, a deaf wanderer) on this track. The problem is thus: Would you take action, knowing one person will die, if through inaction five people will die?

The actual purpose of this ethical question is to determine schools of moral thought, specifically Deontology and Utilitarianism. I won't go into great detail, and this is a little simplified, but generally deontology is reliant upon choice and motive, specifically the value of a subject's actions (i.e. the act itself is judged); whereas utilitarianism is more concerned with utility and benefit, specifically the result of a subject's actions (i.e. the consequences are judged).
The argument is simple, that premature death is not good, therefore the act of killing is categorically wrong (so the act itself has no moral value) therefore taking an act that results in a death is wrong - therefore, you must not switch the lever.
However, if premature death is immoral, then a result that leads to five premature deaths, as opposed to one, should be considered five-times worse (so a result of five deaths has less moral value than a result of one death) therefore taking no action that results in five deaths is wrong - therefore, you must switch the lever.

Now, let's look at Coronavirus, because moral philosophy can give you a stomach ache if you look at it too long...

We have a situation which is remarkably similar. This is a naturally-occuring virus, no one is the cause (not even a runaway train) and it will result in the random deaths of a great many people, if allowed to spread freely through the world's population. If we did nothing, then many people would die, but they would die because of something in nature - insurance companies and gullible people might call it an Act of God, but either way it is an act of nature, no one is to blame.
However, if we choose to act, we willingly put a great many people out of work and alter the freedoms everyone takes for granted, and we know that many people will die nonetheless, but we know for a fact that the resultant deaths will be a much greater deal less.

Now, I don't know if it is five times less. From what I've seen, it's probably a lot higher than that (and we're talking orders of magnitude), but this crisis isn't over yet, so we won't know the consequences until much later.
But, nonetheless, it seems to quite easily prove my point, that despite there being several schools of thought, Kantian ethics and the categorical imperative has been utterly pulverized by utilitarian thought. We're taking a deliberate, harmful action - which indirectly leads to a portion of people dying, and directly leads to financial, cultural & social hardship. Yet, not only have many people embraced it, but some governments have been criticized for not embracing it fully, properly, or quick enough.


There is one small snag in this comparison, however... and that is the switch. See, the switch in the trolley problem is binary (on or off). This is a hypothetical question, but even if you could attempt to hold the lever in the middle, no man's hands are strong enough to derail a train, tram or trolley, so the train will follow a path nonetheless.
But, with coronavirus, there is actually a spectrum of possibilities to choose from- the downside being that through our actions, we are effectively choosing how many people we would like to die, instead of all.
If we had taken no action, approximately 60% of people could become infected, approximately 4% of which will die (approx. 168,000,000 people [168 million]).
[Author's Note: These are generous estimates, as currently, 0.02% of the world is infected, 5.8% of which have died (approximately 88,500 recorded deaths, at time of writing).]
Now, I am no mathematician or statistician, so if someone has better numbers than me, let me know. But, based off of projected "peaks" for coronavirus cases, and assuming a decline in cases that reflects it, we're looking at...
Current best case scenario is, approximately 0.1% of people become infected, approximately 4% of which will die (approx. 280,000 people [280 thousand]).

So, our switch isn't binary, there's not two choices "do or do not". There are over 160 million potential outcomes. Through every action we take or do not take regarding the spread of this virus, we are making a choice of how many more people, than ~280,000 deaths will occur.
With that in mind, I hope all of you stay home for Easter... I'm not exactly a fan of dying, but 280,000 deaths is enough in my opinion. What do you think? The choice is yours.

I'm the Absurd Word Nerd, and I have been hearing a lot of conspiracy theories regarding coronavirus lately, so I'm going to see what I can learn about these. Until Next Time, stay home, stay safe and enjoy your domestic Easter festivities.

Saturday 4 April 2020

Outbreak Diary - Day 013

As a writer, and hospitality worker, I have used Job Service Providers and Centrelink quite a few times in my life. I'm sure a lot more people are beginning to learn just how convoluted, bureaucratic and frustrating working with a government facility can be. Now, I do not blame the staff, because often they are just as frustrated with the system as we are - and with rare exception, they're all doing the best they can.
My favourite example of this happened a long time ago. I cannot remember the reason why, but I was asking for clarification about an issue (I think I had been told I had reported when I actually hadn't, or something like that).
I was talking to one of the service centre staff, and I said to him "I'm sorry, but I don't understand how this makes sense". He chuckled, and said to me:
"Well, that's your first problem. You're looking at this logically, but this is the Government we're talking about."
That man did go on to help me, and he did very effectively - by ignoring the reality, and telling the system what it expected to hear, I fixed the problem. That's always stuck with me, not only because it shows that some of the staff find this system as laughable as I do, but also because it helped me understand. So, to anyone frustrated with these JobSeeker/JobKeeper Allowances, I hope that helps you understand a little better and empathize with the staff working there - but, I'm not actually here to talk about Centrelink today.

I want to talk a little about contradiction, because it's something I'm seeing lately. Partially from the government - at least I thought so - but, mostly from the news. The government I can cover quickly, because there's less to this story than I thought.

Holy Days & Church as a Service

To begin with, Easter Holidays started yesterday here in Queensland. It started a little earlier in some other states, for no reason I can see except some attempt to close schools despite a national declaration to keep them open, but that's not what's important. What's important is that Easter Sunday is over a week from now, April 12th (2020).
In response, we were told that churches were having their restrictions relaxed, during Easter, so that churches could hold Easter services. To me, that's a pretty disgusting and despicable act - not only allowing people to congregate en masse during a crisis, but also allowing Churches to do so on Easter, even though Rama Navami the birth of a Hindu god, was on April 2nd (2 days ago); Jewish Passover is four days from now on April 8th; the Theravda New Year is April 9th for Buddhists; April 18th is the birthday of a Sikh guru Angad Dev & Ramadan begins over a week from now, on April 22nd - only the Christians get their holidays recognized?
Sure, I had to look up the dates for those days, I don't even know how they celebrate/commemorate/mourn these days because I don't care about any religious celebration, but I do care about equality and secularism, and a secular country giving any religion special treatment makes me sick to my stomach.

Now, before you worry too much, I looked into it and the Prime Minister clarified his statement recently - churches will not be open over Easter. You still cannot go to church, or any place of worship. The restriction being relaxed is that they will be considered places of business, meaning that churches holding online services can operate like a business, allowing a limited number of people to assist in the operation of their service.
I still don't appreciate that, as churches are not an essential service, and I feel that this should extend to all holidays, and not simply Judeo-Christian ones, but knowing that churches are still closed, and not filling pews with parishioners so as to spread this virus, I am less perturbed than I was when I first heard this story.

So, we're a secular country that reveres one religion over another - contradiction.

The Facemask Question

The second thing that comes to mind is the issue regarding facemasks. Before this virus came to our shores, but just after the virus was discovered in China, people were discussing whether it was appropriate for sick people to wear masks, like many do in Asia. Now, many of our experts came and explained, no, you don't need a mask - social distancing and washing your hands is more effective.
Come to today, where now over a million people have been confirmed to have contracted the virus, and America especially is saturated with cases, so Americans have been advised that they should wear facemasks to avoid spreading the virus (especially in and around New York), and in response now some Australian commentators have brought the question up again. Should we wear facemasks? Will it stop the spread? Why is everyone getting conflicting information?

Before I do, let's talk about Asia for a moment. The reason why Asians - by which I mean the Chinese, Japanese, Korean & Thai peoples - wear surgical masks is, in truth, more superstition than safety (and maybe even a kind of cultural fashion statement). Now, I am not some expert on Asian culture, a lot of what I know comes from a Quartz article by Jeff Yang, you can read that if you like, but in short, a long history of air pollution, and an even longer history of Chinese Folklore including air as a spiritual element (qi), and breathing in regards to meditation and cleanliness moreso than oxygen has lead to peoples around that part of the world to want to filter the air they breath in.
Now, whilst I'm no Asian culture expert, I do know a little about virology and air flow. The first thing you should know is that although coronavirus has a particularly long incubation period, just about every virus has "an incubation period", a brief search tells me it can vary from a day to a year, but all viruses can sit in your body for a while before they are noticed.
Think of it like termites. How often do you see a termite walk into your house? I'm pretty sure that you don't, but it must happen - unless a house is built with termites in the beams, termites must walk into your house at some point, or crawl into your walls. But you don't notice them come in, you only notice once the house starts falling apart, or when you go to clean behind the bookshelf and find a hole.

Your body works the same way - it can't tell when the virus comes in, it only notices when something starts to go wrong, or it bumps into it while doing something routine - it takes a while to tell if someone is sick, you have to wait until you can see symptoms. But, when a person is symptomatic, that's when a sick person is at their least infectious, because they're fighting the virus, killing it off. Sure, they may still get you sick if they sneeze on you, but I wouldn't even want a healthy person sneezing on me, since that's rude and gross.
You may see someone come into the office, coughing on Monday, and say "Keep away from me, I don't want to get sick," then on Friday, you get sick anyway, and think "Damn it, I TOLD them to stay away from me."
The fact is, 99 times out of 100, you didn't catch the virus from them on Monday, you probably caught it from them last week, back when they were infectious, and neither of you knew, so you weren't keeping distant. (This is why, the incubation period is known as the "infectious period" in some circles, although that's only in the case of viruses that spread by breath or skin contact).
This is the reason why social distancing is enforced even if you're "not sick". But, it's also the reason why only "sick" people wearing masks doesn't stop anything, because not all sick people are "sick" until it's too late.

But, what about the American/Asian option? They're wearing masks 24/7, that eliminates that infectious/incubation period if we all wear them all the time, doesn't it?
Well, that's the second issue - facemasks don't stop the spread of viruses.
They can mitigate the spread a little, if used properly, and some facemasks do exist which can prevent any viral infection from getting into or out of your mouth, but these facemasks all have one thing in common - they have an air-filter. The majority of the masks being spread around, especially around Asia, are surgical masks - believe it or not, surgical masks are for the doctor's benefit more than the patient's. Yes, it does prevent them from coughing or spitting onto the patient, but they're designed to stop blood, bodily fluids and viscera from the patient getting into the surgeon's mouth due to an accidental splash, or a cut vein, or one of the many other traumatic, but careful and curative acts of surgery. It's not to stop your breath or vapor droplets - in fact it can't, because the sides of the mask are often left unsecured so that the air the surgeon breaths can get in and out easily.
You're meant to afix the sides of the mask securely around your face, but most people don't bother with the necessary steps of putting on a disposable mask - as outlined by the World Health Organization, because they're not well-designed to fit every face. If you check out that advice, you will notice something as well - these masks are dirty, and in fact can make you sick, if used incorrectly. Once you've worn it for a while, or sneezed or coughed even once, then you will have a warm, slightly moist piece of cloth on your face, which means that it is at a high risk of becoming infectious, which is why you cannot touch a mask that you're wearing. In fact, before use, you should wash/sanitize your hands and afix the mask, and you should replace the mask once it is damp being sure to wash your hands afterwards, so as to not become infected by the soiled mask.
See, using a mask like this is like using a tissue - you use it once, and get rid of it. Leaving it on your face all day is just unsanitary, and can make you sick. It's not a perfect shield that keeps you safe.

Well, what about the air-filtered masks, then? The issue with those is, they are expensive - too expensive to have one for every citizen of an infected community. And even they aren't foolproof - as I said, masks become secure when you afix them to your face so that there are no gaps - meaning that a man with a five-o'clock shadow isn't protected. But, for these masks, and in fact every mask, the reason why we don't spread these amongst people is because essential workers need them. A mask that you're wearing because you are worried that you might get sick by coming near an infected person is a mask that a nurse can't wear, when they will come in contact with an infected person in their care - or its a mask that a family member can't wear when they have to isolate in their home with their children.

But let's set all of that aside for a moment. Maybe you don't care about the world at large - or maybe you care, but you still want to have a mask, or as I call it, "the jetpack argument" - I don't care that jetpacks are expensive and most people can't have them, because I still want one for myself.
Okay, fair enough, let's say that you can afford a proper face-mask with a filter or a respirator, and you plan to use it properly, and you want to wear it to feel safe.
Well, the problem with that is in the very words itself... it makes you feel safe.
The fact of the matter is, you're not safe even if you wear an effective, anti-viral facemask, because breathing in droplets isn't the only way that this virus spreads. It can infect people by coming into contact with food we ingest, or by spreading into the immune system weak-points of our eyes and nose, when we touch our face. Yes, a mask will make you feel safe, but it is a false sense of security.
The fact of the matter is that, except in cases where people cough or sneeze, the vapour droplets breathed by infected people don't travel very far, and tend to fall quickly to the ground or onto surrounding surfaces. Considering that, at time of writing, the rate of cases of COVID-19 infections has reached over 1 million people, it seems unlikely that most of those people happened to breathe in the droplets from someone else's mouth... I admit that that is speculation, but there is evidence to show that this virus can survive outside the body on non-porous surfaces for up to 3 days. And people are more careless when given a false sense of security.

So, why all this nonsense around America? Are they just stupid?
Well, no, not at all. They're actually following the advice perfectly. If you go back to that page from the World Health Organization, then you will see that they recommend you wear the mask (properly) for 1 of 2 reasons:
1. If you are sick, so as not to infect others,
2. If you are interacting with a sick person, so as not to infect yourself.
In America... especially around New York where they are propagating this advice, a lot of people are sick - we're talking hundreds of thousands - so, people in America are interacting with sick people, all the time. Their circumstances are different than here in Australia. Plus... although I meant everything I said about the false sense of security, and the ineffectiveness of the mask, maybe it's simply a gesture to show that they're doing what they can. Maybe it's false hope, but also maybe false hope is what America needs right now, to get them through until some real hope arrives.

Heck, maybe that's also the reason why the Prime Minister is giving churches more freedom to celebrate Easter...
I still don't like it, because it doesn't make any sense to me and it seems unfair, but at least I understand it a little better.


Anyway, that's what's happening around here lately. I'm the Absurd Word Nerd, unmasking the truth wherever it hides. Until Next Time, I've been pondering some of the moral, philosophical aspects of this coronavirus, and a fascinating juxtaposition that I'm surprised that no one has made yet... but, we'll talk about that another day.

Saturday 28 March 2020

Outbreak Diary - Day 006

As this blog says, I am an Absurd Word Nerd, and whilst I am a bit of a stickler for language being used concisely and to avoid misunderstanding, I do appreciate a good pun, so I'm enjoying some of the new terms coming out of this pandemic.
If you're scared of becoming coronic1 in the wake of the rona2, you may well be coronaphobic3. But whether you're scared, or fearless, don't be a covidiot4; because there is a coronacopia5 of ways to catch Trump Flu6, and we're all in this together... facing the coronapocalypse7.

1 Coronic (src) adj. To have contracted coronavirus.
2 the Rona (src) n. (slang) Shorthand for "the coronavirus".
3 Coronaphobia (src) n. The generalized fear of catching the current strain (COVID-19 in March 2020) of human coronavirus.
4 Covidiot (src) n. A person ignoring public health warnings regarding COVID-19 , or hoarding goods, denying them from their neighbours.
5 Coronacopia (src) n. (informal) a place which has a plethora of ways to spread the coronavirus infection.
6 Trump Flu (src) n. 1. A communicable disease, often with flu-like symptoms, which puts careless, unisolated, old, overweight & unhealthy persons (i.e. persons much like Donald J. Trump) at high risk of infection and death. 2. (informal) COVID-19.
7 Coronapocalypse (src) n. The apocalypse, specifically as caused by coronavirus.

Hey, you have to find ways to have fun during this pandemic, and ways to refer to new concepts, such as idiots ignoring the rules... it's unfortunate that we've had so many of these people that we're labelling them, but covidiot is definitely the term amongst these which has spread the farthest into the community at large.

People can be quite ignorant of the severity of this spread - but thankfully not all of them are "covidiots". There are some people that simply don't know, or maybe they don't understand, how or why things are the way they are. And if I'm honest, I don't blame them - the Australian Government has been scrambling to try to put the genie back into the bottle on this one, since they implemented public health guidelines too late, and as a result it seems like we're getting daily updates on new things that are closing, new restrictions in place and contradictory policies. And since the main concern is simply shutting them down, rather than explaining why these ones are being shut down, yet others remain open, it can sometimes seem like they're being picked at random. So, let's lay this all out so it's clear and easy to understand.

So, what is and isn't closed, and Why?


Let's start with the most comprehensive list of "which businesses are shut and locked down, which aren't, and which are in between" that I can manage. So, at time of writing (27th March, 2020):

Arts Venues (such as Art Galleries, Historic Sites, Museums & Public Libraries); Community Services (such as Community Centres & Youth Centres); Entertainment Venues (such as Amusement Parks, Arcades, Casinos, Cinemas, Gambling/Gaming Venues & Night Clubs); Beauty Therapy (such as Nail Salons, Piercing Salons, Tanning Salons & Tattoo Parlours); Licensed Venues (such as Bars, Clubs & Pubs); Indoor Sport Venues (such as Boot Camps, Gyms, Enclosed Courts/Fields, Fitness centres, Sport Stadiums & Yoga Studios); Play Venues (such as Community Pools, Play Areas, Playgrounds [Indoor & Outdoor] & Children's Entertainment); Sex Work Venues (such as Brothels & Strip Clubs) & Wellness Centres (such as Bathhouses, Massage Parlours, Saunas & Spas) - are CLOSED, no exceptions. They must close their doors, and not offer any goods or services until restrictions are lifted.

Accomodation Services (such as Bed & Breakfast, Boarding Houses, Campsites, Caravan Parks, Hotels & Motels); Barbershops (such as Hairdressers & Hairstylists); Hospitality Venues (such as Bistros, Cafés, Food Courts & Restaurants); Performance Venues (such as Arenas, Auditoriums, Concert Halls & Stadiums); Real Estate Services (especially Auction houses & Open houses); Religious Gatherings (such as Church services, Funereal Services & Weddings) & Travel Services (such as Airports, Cruise Terminals, Docks & Train Stations) - are RESTRICTED in their operations, but may remain open. They must either offer goods via delivery, drive-thru or take-away; offer services with limited capacity such as specific limits on the customers/attendees or they can only offer their services strictly via telephone or online.

Community Aid (such as Food Banks Homeless Shelters); Education Services (such as Boarding Schools, Early Childcare Facilities, Primary School & Highschool); Essential Retail Services (such as Bottle Shops, Grocery Stores & Petrol Stations); Essential Healthcare Services (such as General Practitioners; Hospitals & Pharmacies) - are OPEN, with no specific qualifications (as yet). They still must observe social distancing & health guidelines wherever possible, of course.

Okay, so, why are these restrictions in place? Why are people banned from getting a haircut, but not a bottle of wine? How come I can't travel to foreign countries, but foreigners can come here? And most importantly, how come we've shut down places where adults gather, but not schools, with hundreds of kids in one place?

Well, let me introduce you to something known as Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs...
The concept is simple, we all have things we want, but there are some things we need. You may want to have friends, we all do - in fact, it's necessary for mental health in social creatures like humans. But, if someone grabs your throat and starts strangling you, as important as friendship is, it's much more important to get air into your lungs. So, the hierarchy is organized like so, with the least-important necessities at the top, but the most vital of needs at the bottom:


Self-Actualization
Achieving Personal Goals
Self-Esteem
Maintaining the Ego & Emotional Health
Social Belonging 
Being an Integral Part of a Society or Social Community
Safety
Keeping Comfortably Distant from Harmful Persons, Objects, Situations or Ideas.
Physiological Needs
Things that help you survive: Breathing, Drinking, Eating, Sleeping; Staying Clothed & Sheltered.


Believe it or not but, for the most part, the reason why some things are closed and some things are open seems to align pretty well alongside this hierarchy of needs. Now, this pandemic involves a virus that causes serious harm and even death, it threatens our Safety, and it spreads from person to person, by touch or close proximity, this means that if you look at this hierarchy now, everything involving "Social Belonging", and above is considered in the Red, it's not only less important in the hierarchy, but often holds potential risk. Only Safety & Physiological Needs are in the Green.

That doesn't mean that you don't need to achieve your goals, or be a part of the community - but we're currently being strangled by this virus, we're gasping for air, so we need to focus on Safety first.

Everything, every single thing on the "CLOSED" list has clear safety concerns. They either require bodily contact or close proximity, foster large crowds or they take place in a high-touch environment (which is to say, a place where several people are required to handle the same products or touch the same surfaces), which means they put people at risk.
So, Arts Venues, Community Centres, Entertainment Venues, Licensed Venues & Play Venues, are shut because of the crowds, keeping distance is difficult, and since they're not vital, they close.
Beauty Therapy, Indoor Sports Venues, Sex Work Venues & Wellness Centres are shut because they are high-touch venues (gym, spa and sports equipment changes hands a lot), or they require direct bodily contact (such as with massage & prostitution), and since they're not vital, they close.

Things on the "RESTRICTED" list, they tend to have safety concerns, but they either serve some vital role in our safety or physiological health, or all risk can be removed with simple restrictons.
Performance Venues, Real Estate, Religious Gatherings & Travel Services all have crowds - however, if you restrict the crowds (as has been done), or only allow online services, such as online performances, auctions and religious observances, then all risk is eliminated. Except perhaps for Travel Services, since there's still a risk if foreign people enter the country when coming from places with a high community infection rate, and that concerns me, but there are plans to limit that kind of travel. (Author's Note: Keep an eye on this one though, this is just my opinion but there still seems to be a lot of traffic going in and out of Australia, for all of it to be "essential".)
Accomodation Services; Barbershops & Hospitality Venues all provide necessities, since food, shelter and health is important - and don't worry, I'll explain barbershops. Now, although most people can buy groceries, if you are, say, a doctor or a nurse, you may be too tired or busy to cook your own dinner or make your own breakfast, especially if you live alone or - as this crisis often calls for - have a demanding and tiring job. Also, accomodation services are merely allowing current and permanent residents to stay, but not admitting new or temporary tenants.
Now, Barbershops... this one seems weird, and I admit that it is probably the odd-one-out. But, I believe the reason why they have an exception is because having long hair can not only get in the way for some jobs (think how nurses and food workers often need hairnets), but since hair has natural oils on it, viruses can stick to it. Most importantly, although the majority of people can probably cut their own hair, the elderly & many people with mental or physical disabilities either cannot, or can't do so safely. (Author's Note: Personally, I feel like there are other workarounds for this - why not have specialist hair-dressers do at-home visits for those in need, and for everyone else, give them hair-cutting tutorial? Honestly, I don't know. So, unless there is some other vital need for haircuts that I'm missing, this is the only reason I can see.)

Now, the 'OPEN' list. These are things which are essential, or which pose a greater risk if they are shut down.
Community Aid & Essential Healthcare Services, as well as Grocery Stores specifically - these keep people alive. Grocery Stores, Food Banks & Homeless shelters, duh, provide Food & Shelter to those in need; and obviously healthcare services are caring for those who are infected, as well as people who need urgent care.
Essential Retail Services, such as Bottle Shops and Petrol Stations, well, petrol stations are obvious, if you close them then people can't refuel, and since town-planning assumes the ability to travel by road, that would make travel impossible. Not to mention, if you travel by car, you're in an enclosed space, so it's less risky (from a virologists point of view) to drive to work than to walk. But, why Bottle Shops? Well, the sad fact of the matter is that according to some statistics, 1 in every 5 Australians are responsible for 75% of the nation's alcohol consumption, and at least one million people reported an average of EIGHT (8) standard drinks on a daily basis. We have shut down all the licensed venues where people can get a drink in public, but we don't know what would happen if we suddenly forced approximately 5 million alcoholics to go cold-turkey overnight, so bottle shops remaining open is simply a safety issue. We can't risk the fall-out of taking away their vice, so rather than having people drunk on the street, we're having them drunk at home.

Now, lastly, and finally... Education Services. Why are the schools open?
There is clearly a risk of crowding - classrooms have an average of 25 students often sitting side-by-side at desks, not to mention when they play on the playground together. And, children aren't responsible enough to maintain social distancing rules, or wash their hands. So, aren't they at serious risk at school?

No. Kids aren't at serious risk. I wouldn't say they're "safe", because as far as we can tell no one is immune to this virus, so no one is safe from it, but they're not at greater risk at school - and there is some risk when you keep them home. To understand why, there are four things you need to understand.

1. School-Aged Children are at the Lowest Risk from COVID-19

I want to show you a graph, and this graph comes from the the Australian Government's Department of Health Website. The link to the website should have an updated graph, but the image presented below was last updated 26/03/2020, the day before yesterday, at time of writing:

These are all of the Confirmed Cases of People that are Infected with COVID-19 in Australia, Sorted by Age and Separated by Sex. These aren't all the dead people, this are just the total number of people with the disease. Now, one of the first thing's you may notice is that 20-something women are high risk, I'm not sure why, but it's an interesting datum.
But, the other thing you will notice is that the bulk of the numbers in this graph consist of people aged twenty to seventy-nine. Considering that Elderly people are in the high-risk category, we get to give ourselves a pat on the back for our luck and/or effort that has kept them healthy - since they are still the highest fatality rate worldwide. But there are less than 25 cases of children aged 9 or less getting sick, and less than 100 cases of kids as old as 19.

Now, what about deaths? Well, as I said in a previous post, there have been NO FATALITIES for children aged 9 and under worldwide, let alone Australia. And As for 10-19? Well, it's hard to get exact numbers - but from what I can tell, there have been 2 worldwide (1 in the U.S. & 1 in Spain), but none in Australia. Don't get me wrong, the death of any person is a tragedy, especially someone so young, and I don't want to pretend like these deaths don't matter, because they do.
But, that being said, we're talking 2 in the whole world, and both from areas with high infection rates. Plus, although there is no data to determine whether these victims had pre-existing conditions or weakened immune systems, there is also no evidence to the contrary, so the possiblity that they were higher-risk still remains.
So, as it stands, schoolchildren have the lowest risk of contracting this disease, and then the lowest risk of dying from it, if they get sick.

2. If a Child is at School, they aren't in the Community

Children are, in general, irresponsible. They usually don't wash their hands properly, they often don't do as they're told, they aren't well-educated (yet), they are easily distracted, they often put things in their mouth, I've never seen a schoolkid under the age of 10 cover their mouth when they cough or sneeze & they fall over and hurt themselves a lot.
So, doesn't it therefore make sense to send them to school, where teachers have years of experience dealing with them and keeping them busy, than to have them out in the community at large? As I said prior, schoolchildren are the least likely to get sick - so, doesn't it make sense to let them all bounce around and against each other, than it is to send them into the community, to bump into someone who has a higher likelihood of getting them sick in the first place, or more likely transferring that sickness around to others?

If schoolchildren are at school, it reduces their risk of getting sick, but more importantly the risk of everyone around them, since our risk is higher than theirs. Now, you might think "well, why not just lock schoolchildren inside, and not let them out?"
A couple of things. Firstly, if you're not at home with them, then that may very well be illegal, falling under "supervisory neglect", which is when a child is left unsupervised for an unreasonable amount of time (Author's Note: The Law is deliberately vague on what constitutes "an unreasonable amount of time", as it depends on the age of the child, the circumstances they're left in and the provisions made for their care). Secondly, schoolchildren need to be able to get out and play and keep their minds busy, because keeping young schoolkids locked up inside isn't good for their development - they need supervision. Even if a lack of supervision doesn't put them at danger, it still puts them at a severe disadvantage. Schoolkids need to be supervised.

3. Some Children Can't Stay at Home

Maybe some parents can stay home and supervise their children, and if you are at home, as a family, then this is a good opportunity to spend time together. However, not everyone can do that. If you have a job, you need to keep that job, so you can't take time off work to take care of your children that are suddenly at home 24/7. In some households, both parents work, or one of the parents works nightshift and sleeps daily, or one parent has a disability, or it's a single-parent houeshold, or one of the family members is self-isolating or a member of the family is stuck overseas, outside of our borders - there are millions of people in this country, and everyone has their own story, and not every story is as simple as "well, I'll just quit my job and take care of the kids, and everything will be fine."
The fact of the matter is that there are a whole lot of nurses, doctors, grocers, politicians & researchers who cannot take care of their children at home right now - and simply asking thousands and thousands of people to hire a babysitter or a tutor not only isn't something they can afford (and bringing in grandparents to babysit just puts them at risk), and even if they could, it would violate social distancing and social isolation, putting the children and the sitter/tutor at risk.

There's also suggestions of having distance-schooling, and that does seem like a viable option for some people, by having schoolchildren learn stuff online. But the problem with that is not only do some schoolchildren have a harder time learning without one-on-one support, but there are a whole lot of people who don't have access to the internet. I know that seems crazy in this day and age, but we're talking about the entirety of Australia. Like I said,

4. When it comes to Educating Children, Timing is Critical

A school is not simply a babysitting service. it may seem like it from the outside, but even early childcare and kindergarten is for social development, and is vital for a child to develop necessary skills and habits. I struggle to explain how important schooling is because, to me, it's self-evident. Young schoolchildren learn how to speak, read, write, follow tasks, use problem solving, play and socialize but also learn the importance of separating work time from play time & they learn more and more about this amazing world we live in, which you and I get to take for granted because we've already been to school and we know all this cool stuff already. Then for older students, it teaches how to work together, it teaches critical thinking skills, responsibility, time management, setting and accomplishing goals.
And the reason I'm listing all of this stuff, even though I think it's obvious, is because if you don't teach children this stuff now, you might never be able to.
This is a concept in biology known as a Critical Period, which states that as you mature, there are specific spans of time in which your nervous system becomes more sensitive to environmental stimuli, meaning that if you aren't exposed to such stimuli, then it may become difficult - even impossible - to learn certain tasks or skills. Basically, as a child, your brain is growing, and growing, and it's able to stretch and warp and bend - like warm plastic, hence why this concept is called "neuroplasticity" - this means that children can learn new ideas, new concepts and create the connections in their brain necessary for the understanding of those ideas. But, as you get older, that neuroplasticity starts to solidify. You can still learn, but it's a lot harder to learn, because instead of your brain growing whole new connections, instead it has to rely on the old connections, meaning that you can only understand concepts if it aligns with the ideas you already have.
I am no neurologist, so I believe you can still create some new connections in your brain - but it's a lot harder to do, and you're actually more likely to lose old, unused connections than to gain newer ones.
So, as far as I'm concerned, taking children out of school is a very dangerous game, not only for everyone in the community now, but also for their future.


Now, don't get me wrong, I don't think this is a simple issue, and "go to school and learn" or "stay at home, locked away" aren't the only two options. People have talked about having restricted schooling - only those who cannot keep kids at home can school them. Or, we can do what we're essentially doing now, having people take their children out of school if they can afford to (although, for now, I do insist: please, send your kids to school so long as it's open, it really is the best thing for them, unless they're in the high-risk category). Also, children aren't the only issue - teachers go to schools as well, and have to interact with these kids, and if that's going to continue, then safety measures for those teachers need to be put in place.
I'm not telling you "these are the reasons why children MUST stay in school", these are simply the reasons why it's okay that schools are still open, why it's been legislated this way, and why I believe you should send your children to school, unless there are outstanding circumstances.

I'm the Absurd Word Nerd, and what do you think about all this? Are you for, or against, school closures? Let me know in the comments. Until Next Time, I'm going to go see if I can learn something new about this virus...

Tuesday 24 March 2020

Outbreak Diary - Day 002

I want to start this on a lighter note, because this might get a bit serious. So, first... I went for a walk today, and I liked it. I needed the exercise, and it was good to see so many people keeping their distance. I assume the people walking side-by-side are either family or couples - I believe that is perfectly okay but if not, maybe keep that in mind.

But, one thing pissed me off... joggers. Not every jogger, some of you were nice. I know social distancing isn't meant to mean "be social", but I said hello to people anyway (I want people to know that I'm still personable even if I'm literally not approachable, and it seemed to make some people smile) and I don't mind that joggers don't say hello back - you pass more people, it probably would get annoying, and you are probably a little more out of breath, that's fine.

What's NOT fine, is when joggers put their earbuds in, try to ignore the world, and run right past people less than half-a-metre away. Not only is it incredibly rude to do that, but it's dangerous. I had TWO joggers do this to me. I recognize that many of the footpaths are about a metre wide, meaning that you'd have to step off the path to keep the 1.5-metre distance, but every other person managed to do that, so there is no excuse not to - it's not like the ground was slippery, and even if it was, you're allowed to stop jogging for 4 seconds, and walk around. Your jog isn't more important than public health, you miserable oxygen thief.
In fact, that's the most important part, as I also said above, you guys breathe heavily. I don't care if you think you've improved your cardio, because it's a scientific fact that when you burn energy the chemical reaction of the breakdown that turns stored fat or nutrients into energy, requires oxygen and creates carbon dioxide as a byproduct. This means that when you use more energy, such as when you jog, you need to breathe in more to help this chemical process, and you need to breathe out more to exhaust the waste products of this reaction.
So, when you jog that close, you're breathing all up on me and everyone else you slip past, with your potentially-infectious respiratory droplets, not to mention potentially your sweat. If you can't jog, and keep your distance from other people like a respectful human being, buy a treadmill. Or, just stay inside and stop offending people with your presence.

Fear and Loathing in BrisVegas

Perhaps, I am at a slight advantage to most.

Early in January, I lost my job because the charity I worked for closed its retail sector, meaning my job dissolved - so, when thousands and thousands of people lost their jobs, I was no worse off.
I am an ambivert, so whilst I can occasionally go out with a group of friends, I find a lot of comfort being on my own - so, when people were told to keep their distance from friends and socialize less, I was no worse off.
Although I don't consider myself rich, I don't have many expenses, and I live with family which is fairly well off (probably upper-middle class, socioeconomically) - so, when the economy hit its slump, I was no worse off.
Most of the things that I take comfort and joy in, are watching movies (particularly DVDs), reading books (I have hundreds), listening to music (alone) & writing, both fiction and online journals like this - so, when people we're told to stay indoors as much as possible, I was no worse off.
Heck, I might even be better off, since it gives me more of an excuse to write.

So, perhaps the reason why I am not as bothered by all of the COVID-19 restrictions and hardships is because I have the privilege of not suffering from them. The worst thing this virus has done for me is, firstly, it means it's harder to find a job (Author's Note: I am still looking. Is anyone out there looking for a writer, barista or retail manager? Anyone? Please...), and secondly, it means I can't go to the movies, and I was looking forward to seeing that Fantasy Island movie - but hell, unless movie studios like losing money, I'm sure they'll find some way to let people download movies for a fee at home, so even that second part, I'm not so bothered by.

The reason I mention all this is, I am not at all worried about the coronavirus.
Of course, I am concerned - everyone should be concerned, this isn't a picnic - but I'm not upset, perturbed or afraid of it. And that's the big one, fear.
Last night, I was watching the channel 9 "Coronavirus - The Latest" program, because I find it interesting, and like I said yesterday, it's good to stay informed. But not only were the hosts often saying that they were scared, and also that many viewers were scared and that we all need to stay calm; but, there was also this Channel 7 PSA which had all these celebrities, actors, journalists, sportsfolk and media personalities saying things like "these are scary times", "stay safe", "keep your spirits up", "you're not alone" and "we're all in this together", along with the hashtag #together.
I thought it was really cute, and a good idea for people who are worried, and so people can stick together and not feel isolated, even if they have self-isolated.

But, it occured to me, I thought it was cute, but there must be people out there who need it - I mean, are you scared? Genuinely, you reader, are you scared? That's not a rhetorical question, by all means respond in the comments below, because I can only speak for my own experiences, and in my experience, I merely feel "annoyed, but complacent" in regards to all this.
Let me be the first to say, you entirely have the right to be upset, and you have the right to be very concerned. People are losing their jobs, the economy is buggered, I'm sure there are people out there on the verge of homelessness or at high-risk and not able to follow all of the health and safety guidelines, and I know for a fact that there are some issues with getting certain specialist or overseas medicines and people are even talking about this being as impactful to the economy, society, politics, culture and art as WW2 or The Depression.

So, I'm not stupid, I understand that there is reason to be worried. But, once again, I may be in a place of advantage because, well, I suffer from chronic anxiety - so despite all this stress, I was no worse off.

I've talked about it on this blog before, but if you're only reading these Outbreak Diaries, let me tell you, I take medication to manage my anxiety, but most importantly for you readers, I've come to understand what anxiety really is, and what it means.
You see, there are two types of stressors for an anxious reaction. I am sure there's an official term in the psychological field, but these are what I call them:

Irrational Stressors - These are the type I ususally suffer from, when I overthink something, and build some fantastic situation where no matter what I do, I will fail - a good example is "I can't find my keys; I'll never find my keys; now I can't drive anywhere; I'm trapped at home alone; my life is at a standstill," - as you can see, irrational, it's making irrational, illogical leaps from one thought to the other. There are often simple, rational ways around it, but the stress makes you lose perspective, so you're unable to see how irrational these fears are.

Overreactive Stressors - These are the type which, from what I can tell, people who are scared about coronavirus are suffering. So, I don't need an example, because it's people looking at the situation, like this coronavirus and thinking "I've lost my job, or the economy is struggling; I don't know what the future will hold, as these are new and uncertain times; people will die, and if I am not careful I and/or my family are at risk" - as you can see, this is rational, since this fear is real. But, that doesn't change the fact that anxiety (in the chronic, mental illness sense), is still an overreaction. See, even though this stressor is real and present, the stress still makes you lose perspective, so you're unable to see how you can deal with these real and present dangers.

Think of it like... there is a landmine in your back yard, and you know about it. A landmine is dangerous and deadly, and can definitely kill, disable, debilitate or seriously harm anyone that gets too close. It would be irrational to ignore it, but it would be just as irrational to freak out, run around the house screaming "bomb, bomb, bomb, we're all going to die!", or sitting in the corner crying, or whatever exaggerated scene of worry you can think of.
Yes, the bomb is real, and that is a real and present obstacle - but if you worry and stress, now there's two obstacles, there's two bombs on your property, the real one, and the one in your head that's making you stress out.

So, even though this is a real stressor and not an imagined one, and you can't make it go away by breathing deep and meditating, it doesn't change the fact that if you let it get the better of you, then you can still overreact.
That's why we had people panic-buying toilet paper and canned food, they were freaking the hell out and overreacting to a danger, and actually making things worse; because the people who could buy 12 bags of toilet paper were really screwing over the people who could only buy 1, and now can't buy any.
That's why we have people claiming that China bio-engineered this virus, or people claiming that there's a secret vaccine in America or that this is all an elaborate Jewish hoax (yes, people really are blaming the Jews for this, bigots and conspiracy theorists are close bedfellows), it was because people are scared at the idea of random and unforeseen viruses mutating and killing thousands of people, so they wanted to know that someone was in control, that someone could have predicted this; but this made things worse because it was dividing people and dehumanizing, rather than concerning ourselves with how to stop the spread, and help the people who have already been infected.

This is not to say that you're not allowed to be anxious, or stressed. It's a healthy, rational and human response to this to feel a bit scared. I'm not better than you, or more logical/rational just because I am not worried - I just have more practice at dealing with stress, because I'm at a higher risk of my own anxiety. So, you can feel stressed, but if you are starting to feel depressed, frightened, or worst of all panicked, please sit down and take a deep, deep breath - deep into the bottom of your lungs, then breath out (just be aware, if you do this four or more times, you can feel lightheaded); and take a moment to not just notice, but fully realize and be conscious of where you are, live in the present moment and not your fears of the future, since worrying about the "could be" is a great way to ignore the "right now".
Right now, you're home, or reading this on your phone somewhere, most likely isolated from friends. Why not spend some time with family, call your mate, maybe give that facetime thing a go - call your grandparents, they're probably scared, and would like to catch up. Or, if you know anyone in isolation, or who is at high risk, give them a call. It's a fact that it's not only easier, but therapeutic, to help someone else that's stressed than it is to help yourself when stressed.
It's not about distracting yourself from the worry; because that's a bad habit, you should identify what worries you, but don't just think about it, talk about it and help each other. If you don't know the answer, then ask someone who might, don't just assume you're lost and alone. Or, if you don't want to talk about it, then don't mire in your own fears - get up and do something productive, even if that's just having a laugh, tidying or disinfecting your house, or playing a boardgame. Or, if you can manage to, why not look around to see if there's anyone around you that's struggling, and see if you can help (from a safe distance, of course).
There's a lot that you can do, but we're all blind to it if you're too busy worrying about the landmine to disarm it...

Anyway, that's all from me today, I hope it helps. I'm the Absurd Word Nerd, and until next time, if you're still feeling stressed please leave me a comment and I'll do my best to respond.

Monday 23 March 2020

Outbreak Diary - Day 001

The Facts in the Case of Australia's Coronavirus Outbreak

I write a lot of fiction on this blog - I even attempted some unfiction/nosleepypasta at one point, which was fiction but pretended otherwise. But, let me be clear, this is not fiction, this is the truth about what is happening in Australia - and in cases where I don't know the truth, I will do my best to be fully open about that. A lot is happening, but it feels like a lot of people are out of the loop on this one. So, I wanted to write this to try to inform people about some of the stuff that they don't currently know, and try to explain this virus, as well as disperse some of the misinformation which is being circulated during these times of confusion.

My name is Matthew Aaron John Anderson, I live in Queensland in the Greater Brisbane Area - the date is the 23rd of March 2020 (a Monday), and the time is 4:32 am, as I begin writing this.

I don't know too much about the beginning, but here's what I can piece together from the very start of this pandemic, based on what I've seen in the news, and the research I've done. Most people have heard of the SARS - Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome, it's a pretty nasty disease, which caused thousands of deaths of South Chinese people between November 2002 and July 2003.
It's a disease which has flu-like symptoms - fever, muscle pain, coughing, sore throat and lethargy. This can lead to shortness of breath, pneumonia and other nonspecific symptoms.
But, the important fact in this case is that this Syndrome is a disease which is caused by a virus, specifically the SARS-CoV, which is to say the SARS Coronavirus.

What is a "Coronavirus"?

See, a coronavirus is a kind of virus which, under the microscope looks kind of like a children's "soft thorn ball" [Author's Note: I always called them nipple balls (they look like nipples to me), but you know, these things: link], basically, a sphere covered in evenly spaced studs.
Now, the difference between a virus and most other living things, like cells, amoeba or bacteria is that viruses can't self-replicate - they can't recreate themselves on their own, by sexual reproduction, parthenogenesis, or just splitting in half like some cells do. The way that they can continue to survive and spread is by finding a living cell which has DNA, and injecting it with their own RNA, so that it basically tricks the host cell into replicating the virus for it.
That's why the coronavirus looks the way it does - a ball covered in little studs - actually, let's get technical, they're actually called peplomers, or viral glycoprotein spikes. These viral spikes have developed to attach or fuse to host cell membranes, and then inject their genome payload.
It's not a perfect analogy, but it works kind of like a cuckoo bird - which lays its giant egg in the nest of another bird, and pushes the mother bird's own eggs out of the nest in the process. Except instead of a nest, it's the cells of your body, and instead of an egg, it's a coronavirus.
Or, if you're a geek, think of it like a vampire. Since the virus is undead (using that term loosely), it can't reproduce, so it reproduces by biting "mortal" cells, and making them into vampires as well, so they can then go on and bite more.

The reason this makes us sick is because when a cell is busy being a virus, or helping to replicate and perpetuate a virus, it can't continue to be the healthy cell it was. So, if a virus managed to infect your eyes, then it would break down the biology of your eye, and you'd go blind. If a virus managed to infect your brain, then you'd have neurological issues as your brain lost functioning parts. Or, in this case of SARS, as this affects your lung tissue most readily, it means that you would struggle to breath as your lungs become less "lung" and more "coronavirus".

But, why am I talking about SARS? Well, because viruses work by seizing healthy cells to replicate, it means that like everything else in the world, as those cells replicate, they can mutate and evolve. SARS virus, whilst being very effectively managed in human populations, it was still around in other animals, such as bats - in fact specifically bats, as virologists have determined that a mutation of the SARS virus, known as the "2019 novel coronavirus", or "SARS-CoV-2" is genetically similar to SARS viruses found in bats. As this disease mutated, it became much more virulent - now, the exact details of this aren't certain, but it is believed that this virulent form found in bats was spread to pangolins in Wuhan, China.
A pangolin is a mammal closely related to armadillos and sloths, it's also known as a "scaly anteater", and it looks kind of cute, but the important thing is, it's endemic to China, which is where SARS-CoV-2 first managed to transfer from bats, and into the human population, in late 2019. Which is what is causing the Coronavirus Disease of 2019, which is why we're calling this disease COVID-19.

Which, on a bit of a lighter note, is a shame. With just the slightest of tweaks, we could have been calling this "Bat Flu", which I think sounds cooler and rolls off the tongue better, but when people started calling this disease "Wuhan Coronavirus" or "The Chinese Virus", the health officials in charge decided to nip the racist connotations of that in the bud, and stick to the official designation "COVID-19"
- this is why we can't have nice things.
[Author's Note: Whilst I personally blame xenophobia on the spread of "Chinese Virus" as a term, apparently the World Health Organization has guidelines and regulations for this - in fact they have a report titled "World Health Organization best practices for the naming of new human infectious diseases" (2015) - which discourages the use of location names, as well as encourages attempts to avoid confusion with prior viruses. This is why it's not called "SARS 2", even though that's basically the virus's name (SARS-CoV-2) - so that people can differentiate between the two more easily.]

Why is this virus different from Influenza/SARS/Common Cold/etc?

I'm going to go into more detail, but long-story short: it can kill more people.

Now, whilst this disease is not going to wipe out the whole world, and all things told, the death toll appears to be about 4% of infected - so if 100 random people were infected, approximately four should die - that's not too bad all told.
However, as I mentioned above, this virus mutated from the SARS found in bats, and two of those mutations are very relevant. I'm not a biologist or virologist, so I can't explain the mechanism, but in layman's terms:

  1. This disease has an incubation period of 2-14 days, from the time of infection, to the onset of physical symptoms.
    • This means infected persons felt healthy, despite coming into contact with the virus, so they wouldn't realize they were carrying and spreading the disease until 2 weeks later. Initial carriers were effectively "viral sleeper agents", heading home and socializing as normal, spreading the disease.
      This is how the disease managed to spread internationally - people who felt fine were travelling around the world before realizing they were spreading the disease.
  2. There are no known effective antiviral medications or vaccines available for the disease at this time, as it didn't exist until recently.
    • This is to say, because this new subspecies of SARS virus mutated only recently, November 2019 at the very earliest (but maybe December 2019) this species of virus is at most, only 4 months old (at time of writing). That is why this was called a "novel virus", essentially this is a newborn, we don't know how it behaves, we don't know what it's strengths and weaknesses are. It's only in the last month that we seemed to confirm that the main form of transmission was respiratory droplets, so we're scrambling to learn as much as we can.
At the moment, if you contract coronavirus, the treatment is symptomatic not etiological - that is to say, we can only treat the side-effects of the disease, not the cause. We can only effectively manage your symptoms (such as fever, joint aches, sore throat & coughing), to make you comfortable and healthy, so that your immune system can do the rest.
If we use that vampire metaphor - we can't actually kill the vampires, so instead we're trying to make the rest of the town strong enough to withstand the attack, and stop more people getting bitten, until the vampires all die of thirst.

This is why this disease is as deadly as it is. If your immune system isn't strong enough to do the rest - to fight off the virus - then you will die. This is why you may have heard about people who are "high risk" of this disease - which is to say that you have a higher risk of death, debilitation or severe illness, if you contract this disease. So, you are considered to face increased risk if you have:
  • Advanced Age (especially 60 years or older)
  • Breathing Difficulty
  • Diabetes
  • Heart Disease
  • Hypertension
  • Respiratory Disease (i.e. Asthma)
  • A Compromised Immune System
This should not be confused with people who are "at risk" of contracting the disease. In Australia, this includes people who have travelled to an area with high community transmission, such as the areas in China, Italy, the Phillipines; and those caring for sufferers of this virus (including nurses and those assisting people in self-isolation).

Now, a regular influenza isn't fun, in fact people do die every Cold & Flu Season, but the difference is that your average flu has an incubation of about 2-4 days which means it burns through you pretty quickly, and you'll feel the symptoms pretty quickly meaning you can call a sick day (effectively self-isolating), and you'll get over it quick and harmlessly, since medications are available. Also, people who are high risk cam simply get vaccinated. So, it's unlikely that one person can spread this to hundreds of people in a short amount of time - but it does spread slowly enough that the Common Cold never dies out (which is why it's so common). So, you may infect two or three people, but if any of you take care not to spread it, then you limit the spread significantly, from little to none.
But, the way this virus works, because there's no medications and it incubates for so long, if we just ignore it then literally everyone will get sick, and everyone will get sick very quickly - it's a concept known as exponential growth. I don't know the exact numbers for this virus, so let's use an example:
Let's say we have a hypothetical disease called "Two Flu", (because one person will infect 1 other person in a day, meaning it doubles)
Let's see how this would play out:
Day 01: Patient Zero is infected - 1 person is infected with Two Flu
Day 02: Patient Zero infects his friend - 2 people have Two Flu.
Day 03: Patient Zero and friend both infect a person each - 4 people are infected.
It would start off small, but as it effectively doubles each time. it grows quickly...
Day 10: Just over a week has passed - 512 people are now infected with Two Flu.
     . . .
Day 20: Almost 3 weeks have gone by - 524,288 people are infected.
     . . .
Day 30: Approximately 1 month passes - 536,870,912 people are infected.
And that's not all - according to the best numbers we have, there are approximately seven and a half billion people on earth, 7,500,000,000 - meaning...
Day 34, Two Flu has spread across the globe - Every single person is infected.
Thankfully, "Two Flu" is harmless, because it's fictional... but Coronavirus isn't harmless, and it is virulent enough that it can reach exponential growth - and already has in some countries. Now, whilst COVID-19 isn't as fast as the fictional "Two Flu", we've seen cases of it double (from 500 to 1,000, in one case) in as little as 3 days, and in some cases increasing by thousands in as much as a week. That's not as fast as doubling daily, but that's still alarmingly fast. At this rate, the entire world could be infected before Christmas. That's why it's such a concern.

And while the average death rate is 4% now, that's based on the whole numbers, but if you break it down by demographics:
people aged 80 or older who become infected have a 14.8%-21.9% chance of dying
infected people aged 70-79 have an 8% chance of dying
infected people aged 60-69 have a 3.6% chance.
infected people aged 50-59 have a 1.3% chance of dying
anyone younger than 50 has less than a 1% chance (0.2%-0,4%)
Except 0-9 year olds, which thus far have had zero fatalities*

*note that at time of writing, there have been less than 10 cases of people aged 9 years old or less contracting the COVID-19 virus. So, although they currently have a 0% chance of death, the sample size for that group is too low for useful data. This doesn't mean they're at risk, simply that we don't have enough information to say whether they are or not.


How am I supposed to deal with COVID-19?

Well, step one is to remain informed, and act reasonably and rationally. I had a read through some of the common misconceptions, and deliberate misinformation, regarding this virus, and it is ridiculous. Unfortunately, politicians and even major news outlets have occasionally posted misinformation, or presented it in the form of scaremongering. Some of it is excusable, but most of it is not.
In a later post, I may discuss some of the misconceptions, but for now rather than confronting falsehoods, I want to simply present you with some truth. So, if you want to prevent the spread of this disease:

1. Wash Your Hands often, with Soap and Water, for 20 seconds, especially after visiting a public place, going to the toilet, blowing your nose, coughing or sneezing; and before eating or touching on or around your eyes, mouth and nose.
See, this virus, although it's hard to see, it's still a physical organism, and the membrane that makes up its skin (also called the viral envelope) is composed of protein and fat. This is how it travels through respiratory droplets, the surface tension of the oil allows it to float in water, and that oily surface can also stick to skin until the viral spikes can find a cell to penetrate. However, soap has amphiphilic molecules - which means molecules which stick to both oil and water, allowing them to mix rather than separate. So, if soap comes into contact with the membrane of a COVID-19 coronavirus, it literally breaks apart, just like wet tissue paper. Of course, this process isn't immediate, it takes about 20 seconds (so a simple rinse and wipe isn't good enough). Also, once you break apart the virus, the water helps to wash its eviscerated corpse down the sink. And most hand sanitizers work, since ethanol is also amphiphilic, and that tends to be the active ingredient in hand sanitizers. But, just to be safe, you should read the ingredients and make sure that the sanitizer is at least 60% ethyl alcohol.
Since I'm having fun with my virus metaphor, think of these like sunlight to the vampires, breaking them down to ashes... but unable to reach them once they get inside.
Oh, and before you ask - although soap can kill the virus, the reason why we can't use soap to heal people who are already infected is that soap is safe on your skin, but it's deadly if it gets into your body. If you want to know more, look up "soap poisoning", but I warn you, it can get pretty grisly.
2. Maintain Good Personal Hygiene in General, including cleaning and disinfecting objects and surfaces which you touch regularly.
This matters because this virus can survive for some time outside of the body and disinfecting places that people touch prevents it from spreading. But, even if you don't have any infected persons around your house, it's useful to keep clean and healthy, because a compromised immune system puts you at greater risk - and having a pre-existing illness such as the common cold, food poisoning or the flu is one way to compromise your immune system.
3. Practice Social Distancing (of approximately 150cm), from those who have contracted, are at risk of contracting the virus; as well as those whose health you cannot guarantee, or those who are in the high risk category.
I've seen a lot of people joking about "social distance", since it's a funny concept, and refering to "no touching" rules as social distancing sounds like the same kind of unintuitive backwards-brained political correctness that leads to calling lies "alternative facts". Now, I can't speak for the person who came up with the term, but I think part of the issue is that people are inferring "social distance" to mean "a distance which is considered social", as opposed to what it is meant to imply which is "distancing during social activities".
Another issue is that people aren't sure when this rule should apply, as (for instance) a car rarely has enough space to sit a metre and a half apart. Are there times when social distance is okay to ignore? Can we hug our parents and children? Can we kiss our loved ones? Am I really going to get sick if I stand too close to a stranger?
The fact is, this rule exists for people whom we know have the virus, and so the rule isn't necessary, and can be ignored, when we know that both we and the person in question don't have the virus. However, because these are still early days, there is a huge grey area of "people who we don't know if they have the virus or not". And for those people you should still keep your distance, just in case, because that way it ensures nobody is at risk of sharing the virus.
So, are you sick? is your child sick? Has your partner contracted this illness? Has anyone in your family gone overseas, particularly to the epicenters of this virus? If not, then please, I implore you to hug and kiss your loved ones - with consent, of course.
In fact, my mother has a theory that with everyone being cooped up inside, there's a good chance we'll have a second baby boom, and I am conditionally in consensus with that hypothesis, but we will see...
4. If You are Infected with Coronavirus, Isolate Yourself, avoiding all physical contact with other people, staying home if possible. This includes staying away from hospitals and doctors, contacting them by phone when necessary, and if you require further care and need to visit a doctor, call them ahead of time.
This is one of the most important guidelines. You must avoid coming into close contact with anyone and everyone. This may not be possible in all cases, but it is necessary to avoid the spread of this disease. Of course, this isn't easy or fun, but that's why it's better to avoid getting sick than it is to isolate yourself after getting sick.

Wow, it's taken a long time to write this... several hours have passed as I've written and researched this, so now it's after midday, which means that here in Australia, we've now officially locked down several places where large groups of people would gather:
  • All Social Venues (i.e. Nightclubs, Casinos, Cinemas, etc.)
  • Some Sports Venues (i.e. Gyms & Stadiums)
  • Most Licensed Venues (i.e. Hotels, Clubs, Pubs; but excluding retail bottle shops and accommodation within hotels, motels, etc.)
  • All Places of Worship (i.e. Churches, Temples, Mosques, etc.)
  • All Dine-in & Table Service Hospitality Venues (i.e. Restaurants, Cafés, Bistros; but only for dining in, and such businesses are permitted to still serve food in the form of delivery, drive-thru or take-away)

Keep in mind, based on what The Prime Minister said last night, all these places are going to stay locked down for the next 6 months.

That being the case, it means I still haven't really answered the question - how is everyone supposed to deal with such strict regulations in place, and all these rules to follow, for six whole months?
Well, easy - do what I'm doing. I write as a kind of hobby, do you have a hobby? I figured keeping a diary of these times would be interesting. I won't write every day, but I thought this could help keep me busy. If you can't work from home, you can also watch TV, do chores around the house or relax, so long as you make sure to exercise - whether that means an exercise routine, or just going for a walk, you need to stay active (so long as you keep a social distance, you can exercise outside). And, most importantly, make sure that you call people and stay in touch. We're a social species, so we need to socialize a little for our mental health, and although you shouldn't visit friends and family, you can still contact them with all kinds of telephonic technology and social media.
I don't know about you, but I have a whole bookshelf of books that need reading, so I'm going to read a book, and of course do some writing. Oh, and try to stop touching your face. I don't know about you, but I rub my eyes all the time. Not only is it a bad habit, but it's risky in these viral times...

I'm the Absurd Word Nerd, trying to keep everyone, including myself, as informed as I can during this pandemic. Until Next Time, be careful out there, don't panic & stay informed.