Thursday, 20 October 2016

The Hunter's Guide to Monsters - Chapter Seven

Tonight, we take a step away from suburbs, society and streetlights towards those forgotten trees, caves and hollows. Because whilst we have left the wilds behind, those untamed savages that remain behind are the topic of tonight's chapter, the 'APE-MAN':
Ape-man /ayp-man/ n. 1. A hypothetical primate representing a transitional form between true humans and the anthropoid apes, considered by some as constituting the genus Australopithecus. 2. A human assumed to have been reared by apes.
7. Ape-men
  by Hunter Jeremiah

The ape-man is worst kept secret in the world of monster hunting. They are a global epidemic, with different names all around the world: bigfoot, sasquatch, skunk-ape; barmanou, mande barung, orang pendek; abominable snowman, yeren, yeti & yowie.
Thankfully, the very things that make them difficult to hunt, also make it difficult for the untrained "bigfoot chaser" to find them; unfortunately, this does not satiate the curiosity of such people. The prevailing theory is that they are distant cousins of mankind which is why people find them so fascinating, but that's beside the point. All you need to know is that ape-men are incredibly large, incredibly strong, incredibly fast & savage.
These beasts grow to heights around two-metres and stand on two feet like a man. They are covered with coarse hair, except on their feet, palms and faces, and their hair is often brown, grey or black in tropical climates, even reportedly blonde in arid conditions, but in colder climates and mountainous regions, tends to be white. They have simian facial features, including a protruding snouts with sharp canines up to an inch long and squashed noses, but have been known to have human-like eyes and ears. There are even limited reports that they may even be able to speak our language, but this has never been confirmed, as captured ape-men are not very co-operative.
Because when you look into those soulful eyes, and see the spark of kindred ties, you'll soon be there to realize - just how easily those powerful arms can tear your head off.

Above all else, when it comes to ape-men, you must never forget that they are wild animals. There is this disturbing habit of people to describe them as "shy" or "timid" because they are so hard to find. This is definitely not the case, that's an attempt to put human emotions onto these creatures. Ape-men are not shy, they are territorial hunters; and are often move in small families or "tribes". The reason they "shy away" when humans approach is because ape-men think we look alike too, and they can't tell the difference between you and another ape-man; when they see you, they assume they've invaded a rival's territory, so retreat.
Ape-men are also nomadic creatures. They are big, strong and fast, so in order to feed themselves they require a lot of energy and nutrients. They're omnivorous creatures, but if they remained in one place too long, that would consume all the local plants and animals and they would starve, so they don't stay in one place for two long, the longest time they will stay in one habitat is eight days, but that's only if a member of their tribe has passed away, so that they can mourn and cannibalize the remains. Often, they will stay in one place for three days or less before moving on. These tribes are incredibly hard to find, as they kill and consume anyone and anything that enters their territory, and will often move along if they think there are too many predators around, namely humans or other ape-men.
This hide, kill, move along pattern means that habitats and ape-men families are constantly shifting and it's why they are so hard to find. However, the ones most likely to be found are the most dangerous, and those are male ape-men searching for a mate.

Ape-men mating season is determined by when the females are in heat, which is a dozen times a year for weeks at a time. So as to avoid inbreeding, at this time male ape-men leave their tribes and seek out a female. These ape-men are incredibly dangerous. Like I said, they have trouble telling the difference between us and them, so if they see a person when they're seeking out a female, they will assume it's a rival male and will often challenge it.
The way that rival males assert dominance is through eye contact. They stare one another down, and if neither looks away, they attack with teeth and fists. There have even been reports of ape-men confusing people for a potential mate and raping them, although this is unconfirmed, as ape-men do have mating displays and rituals.
This is why it's so dangerous for people to go looking for these ape-men. Their senses are much better than human senses, they can see, hear and smell you way before you can see them. The only way you'll actually see one face to face, is when they're at their most aggressive; so if it sees you, you won't survive to tell anyone about it.

Unfortunately, it is also those wandering males that create issues for the Hunting community, as they are the ones most likely to enter into civilized areas hunting for a mate. Thankfully, even in heat the male ape-man will avoid heavily populated areas such as cities or suburbs, but more rural areas, or towns with a low population density are at a high risk of ape-man attack when their tribes are in the surrounding area, especially when towns are close to wooded areas, mountains, bushlands, deserts, wetlands or even some beaches.
Also, I feel compelled to mention that some people have attributed magical abilities to the ape-man, such as the ability to turn invisible, hypnotize people on sight, slip between dimensions and time travel. I cannot honestly dismiss these possibilities, since if ape-men truly are related to humans, they would have the same supernatural potential. Personally, I have met a few ape-men in my years, and helped others to hunt them down, and I have never encountered an ape-man with any kind of power except raw, brute strength; although, if they are our distant ancestors, the ability to travel through time would explain where they all came from . . . but that's something to be wary of. Don't fall into the conspiracy theory trap. Because of the ape-man's spread into popular culture, there are several theories as of how to find and capture one. Ignore such nonsense, I am here to give you knowledge from my experience. These creatures are animals, and this is how you handle them . . .

If you find yourself in danger of being confronted by an ape-man, here are some important notes to remember which can keep you alive:
  • Home Sweet Home − Ape-men don't understand doors. If you go home, draw the curtains and lock the windows and doors, they won't know where you are.
  • Let there be Light − Ape-men are simple creatures, they're scared of fire and torchlight, as it blinds and exposes them. A torch can save your life.
  • Think and Drive − Large animals and loud noises intimidate ape-men, so a car is your safest place. A loud, running engine, car horn and headlights terrify them.
  • Hell if it Smells − Male ape-men in heat emit a strong, musky smell like rotten eggs; this smell is a warning that danger is near, regard it wisely.
  • Safety in Greater Numbers − Large numbers of people can make an ape-man nervous; it's no guarantee they won't attack, but being alone guarantees that they will.
  • Don't Stare − If an ape-man sees you staring, they see it as a threat and attack. A helmet, veils, or even dark sunglasses might stop them charging.
  • Sink or Swim − If you know how to swim, getting into deep water is your safest bet. Ape-men are heavy, waterlog quickly and often won't follow for fear of drowning.
  • Play the Waiting Game − Ape-men feel safe when hidden, need to hunt daily and they migrate often; if you can last the night, they will usually have moved on.
  • Carry a Big Stick − Ape-man are strong and brutal, if you are attacked, you'll only survive with a weapon of some kind. Bare hands are dead hands.
It's important, for several reasons, to remember that ape-men are wild animals, they have no known supernatural abilities. This makes them unpredictable at times and you should be careful, but it also means that they are not motivated by a desire to kill. They eat, sleep, mate & poop, and only hunt when they need to. There's no reason to seek out these creatures and try to exterminate them; most of the time, if you leave them alone, they will leave you alone.
In fact, because they are so unremarkable, from a supernatural standpoint, some people even question why ape-men are considered creatures of the dark; and to answer that, you need to know that vampire-human politics are complicated. It's claimed that undomesticated werewolf tribes use ape-men as a discreet but challenging form of prey, and keeping them hidden hides werewolves; however, there's also a prevailing theory that by limiting human intervention and by extension the hunting of ape-men, ape-men population was allowed to grow, and because ape-men tribes often inhabit the same areas as wild werewolf tribes, by reducing human knowledge of ape-men and allowing their populations to increase, it forces werewolves to become urban and domesticated.
I mention this because, despite the huge population of ape-men hidden in the wild, some supernatural authorities (especially in colder climates) have strict laws that prohibit Hunters from killing ape-men. In those cases, or if you're unsure of the local laws and don't want to risk the penalty, the only option is "contain, sedate, release".

It's closer to stalking wild game than investigating a murder, but the same basic methodology can help you in this case. Ape-men are hunted when they nest too closely to civilization, damage property or attack local animals. Or, if they kill a person near town. If a person out in the wild is killed by an ape-man, it's just a wild animal attack and a Hunter will only be called in if there's damning evidence that we need to conceal from local authorities. But if you're called to a populated area, finding your ape-man is not the difficult part, it's finding them without them finding you first.
In the instance that an unarmed civilian has been attacked, your victim will be dead and human. Ape-men only kill smaller animals for food, and when they kill people for food, they take all the meat, even the bones, with them.
If there is a body left behind, the corpse will often show severe blunt-force trauma, broken bones, internal bleeding, internal bruising and forceful dismemberment. But the key determining factors of an ape-man attack are superficial bites around the face and torso, and a rotten, musky smell in the area around the body; if you find these, you are facing a male ape-man during mating season.
However, if there's no body, your victim may very well just be a witness. In my experience, ape-man mythology and local lore tends to skew people's memories to fit their personal narrative, if your witness identifies the creature as a "bigfoot" or "sasquatch" ask them to describe what they think that means, so you can tell separate fact from fiction; just remember to focus on location, movement and smell; you must determine if this is a male ape-man in heat or not. And no matter the victim, your goal is to determine where the creature is now. If they left the town, you need to determine if they are a safe distance away, and if they are within town, you need to find them quickly to prevent more attacks.
The evidence you gain from the victim should help you determine your suspects. If you can guarantee that you're facing an ape-man, then you need to determine whether it's in heat or not; or, as some in the business colloquially call them, a Curious George or a King Kong. A Curious George is just an ape-man that got too close to town, damaged property or hurt wildlife; and in those cases, your goal is to move them along. Either stay in town for three days and keep people away, or head into the nest and scare them off with loud noise and bright lights. They are easy enough to find, often they come near towns to find drinking water. However, if you're facing a King Kong, you'll probably have to kill it.
Once you have investigated your victim, you know what you're facing, you can use the evidence and testimony you've gained to track down the location, which is to say their nest. For a Curious George, their nest will most likely be near the edge of town where city meets nature, a short distance into the wilderness. Ape-men like to get to safety as fast as possible, so in open spaces they prefer to run in rather straight lines to the closest cover or shelter. So, from their last known position, either where they were witnessed or the scene of the crime, if you can find any more evidence they have left behind, such as spilled blood, fur or their iconic footprint with the opposable big toe, you can usually follow a direct line between the two points, and follow it along to the tree-line, and you'll be half-way to finding them. This will often also lead you to a King Kong; unfortunately, these kinds of ape-men may be bold enough to look for shelter within a populated town, especially if they were last witnessed at night time, so if you find the ape-man's trail leading away from the tree-line and into town, you need to search for barns, cellars, even stables and henhouses if they're big enough, ape-men usually have a nest at least 6 square metres in size, anything smaller than that you can ignore. If you're in a more urban location, they've been known to break into closed shopping malls, car parks; private garages; particularly overgrown gardens and parks; sheds; dark and empty houses; warehouses & I've even encountered one that broke into a public toilet and hid inside. In more rural areas, you are looking for somewhere large and empty, but in more urban settings, just look for broken glass and witnesses, ape-men don't understand what glass is, and often walk right through it, oblivious. Within city limits, you're looking for a male ape-man that has made a temporary nest; it's usually evidenced by the rotten, musky smell and the presence of scat and hair. You are not to enter an ape-man nest unless you know it's safe, or you're about to attempt a capture. Ape-men are incredibly territorial, even of their temporary nests, and will kill anything that tresspasses within.

If you're capable of catching an ape-man without killing it, it's important not to cause undue harm to the animal. That keeps you safe because an ape-man in agony can lash out unpredictably, and of course, it's a living creature, it's your job to move it not torture it. For the least harmful method of capturing an ape-man, You Will Need:
"Glare" - This is you. Ape-men will not run wildly into a trap, they are smart enough to know what a trap looks like, but they will run wildly into a challenge to their alpha-male bravado. If you stare down an ape-man, they will charge. For safety, some people prefer to create a "stare-crow", a false scarecrow with photorealistic eyes that can stare for them and keep them safe. These can work, but they are not easy to make, and some ape-men don't fall for it, especially if it is still and lifeless, but I always prefer to use myself as the glare.
"Flare" - This is what will keep you safe, a source of bright light that can be turned on at a moment's notice, my preference is for a heavy duty spotlight torch, you can buy one from most camping stores. Staring at an ape-man will get you killed, because an ape-man will charge you down and attack any glare that stares them down, but if you shine a light directly in their eyes as they lunge. This blinds them and allows you to side-step the creature's motion, much like a bullfighter, so you can then capture them. Of course, this becomes easier with different glares, but you may want to consider other forms of light, I know some Hunters much prefer short-fuse firecrackers, and I even know one girl that prefers to use a flare gun, to great effect. Whichever
"Snare" - You will need something to bind the creature which you can throw to tangle the creature. Personally, I have a fondness for barbed wire, as it's lightweight enough to easily throw so that it uncoils and falls over the creature. The barbs stop the creature from struggling, as they quickly learn that trying to escape causes it pain, but they're not long enough to cause severe damage. However, a lot of Hunters prefer chain drop nets, and whilst I agree that chain nets are less likely to cause any pain, ape-men are clever enough to remove a net that's been thrown over them. So, whilst it can be effective, you need to have your wits about you and move quickly to secure a net.
This one is quick and simple, find it, blind it and bind it. There's not much more to it than that, because if you don't succeed, try again. It would take hours to tire out an ape-man, so don't even try, the snare should be chosen to use its strength against it, or to bind its arms

In almost every situation, these are all that you will need. But to make the entire process easier, there are some other materials that you may prefer to use. Some Hunters prefer to set their trap in the ape-man's nest, so they require a winch, hinges and pulleys to set up their trap. For this reason, it's advisable to keep their weapon of choice handy if they enter the ape-man's nest and it's not as empty as they hoped or their trap is not set up properly. I always carry it just in case, as ape-men will often detect you before you get close, because of your smell; but to prevent this, it's a good idea to keep perfume or some kind of air freshener or deodorant handy to help cover their smell, anything floral or organic is effective, especially if it smells like local plant-life. I also highly recommend extra rope or chains, in case your snared ape-man is difficult to wrangle.

Also, it's important to have a form of cargo transport, such as a truck, a caged trailer or a windowless van but preferably something offroad, because if your goal is not to kill your captured ape-man you need to get it in a transport and take it far away, a distance of at least five kilometres from this and any other populated area. If you have a long drive ahead of more than half a day, you may need to bring food. Ape-men need at least 7 kilos of food a day. I recommend dried nuts and fruit and beef jerky every second day if you're driving for over a day, since ape-men are messy eaters when you drive along, and if you give them fruit and whole animals, you'll have to clean rotten pieces of fruit, old bones and stinking meat out of your truck after you release them. It's messy work, but if you want them to be alive and healthy when you set them free, it takes effort. However, if you don't need to keep them alive and healthy, there are methods for that too.

Ape-men are just animals living by their nature, so if you can keep them alive, you should. However, they are a severe danger to locals, so if you or someone else is in direct danger from the ape-man you're hunting or if attempting their capture will put anyone in danger, you should kill them; it's best for all involved, including this hormone-fueled rage monster which has become ferocious through its own nature.
To kill an ape-man, the easiest method is a Headshot. Get a hunting rifle and aim for the brainpan, it kills them quickly and with the least pain. You can attempt the same with a blade or polearm, or your weapon of choice, but ape-man skulls tend to be quite thick, so ensure your blade is sharp and your aim is true, or you may cause the creature unnecessary pain and stress. Otherwise, you could attempt to have them Bleedout, through cutting their neck or a major limb, but this is not something I would recommend, as unless you are very precise, this will cause a lot of pain and torment through this slow death. However, I can't deny that the method is effective if you don't have easy access to a firearm. Being of flesh and blood, ape-men succumb to poison, internal injury, suffocation and immolation, but should only be last resorts as they are horrendous ways to die. Of course, if push comes to shove you have to do what you have to do, but the only other method of killing that I endorse is Drownage. It may seem cruel, and in many ways it is much worse than bleeding out or a shot to the head, but because of their weight and lack of swimming knowledge, ape-men quickly inhale water and die. I've done this before, accidentally, and while it was not entirely peaceful it was quick. Perhaps I add it here merely to justify my own sins, but I still believe that drowning ape-men do not suffer for long.

Once you've killed your ape-man, dispose of the body respectfully. If you know where their family tribe's nest is, put it within 100 metres of their nest so they can Cannibalize it and deal with it in their own way. I recommend against cremation, since it creates a tremendous and permeating smell which is almost impossible to disguise, but if you have a personal disposal site that is best for an ape-man. If neither of these options are available, seek the assistance of your local Hunting authority to clean up after you.

Final Notes
No matter how much it may seem like a "fun" thing to go Bigfoot Hunting or to go on an adventure of Sasquatch Sighting, I cannot say this enough: ape-men are wild animals. They say don't poke the bear and let sleeping dogs lie, well ape-men are creatures which prefers to stay hidden from us and live away from society.
Leave them be. No matter that they are so mysterious or that they appear to be some kind of "missing link" to humankind, they are not that interesting. They are wild animals that eat and poop. Just leave them alone.
Because unless you are a trained Hunter, the first time you discover an ape-man will be your last. And then someone like me might be forced to come out and kill the poor beast. So always remember, for everyone's sake, to leave ape-men alone.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Feel free to make suggestions, ask questions & comment . . .
I would love to read your words.