Tuesday, 18 October 2016

A Mind is a Terrible Thing

Good evening, my dreadful droves of dedicated drones. I'm the Absurd Word Nerd and things have taken a dark turn here on the blog, because the year is 2016 . . .
In January this year, the World Health Organization announced an outbreak of the Zika Virus. In February, North Korea launched a military test rocket into space, breaking several UN treaties. In March, several bombings in Brussels, Belgium killed 32 people and injured at least 250. In April, 193 people died due to a clash between Armenian and Azerbaijani militaries. In May, EgyptAir Flight 804 crashed, killing 66 people. In June, the United Kingdom left the EU, sending the country into chaos. In July, Philippines won the case for the South China Sea, setting in motion several tensions threatening to incite war in Asia. In August, a Syrian Civil war broke out between Turkish/Syrian fighters and ISIS. In September, North Korea conducted its largest ever nuclear test.

And today, on the eighteenth day of the month of October, I celebrated my twenty-fifth birthday.

 . . . and so say all of us.

Yes, today is my birthday. at least, it will be in the future. Well, it is currently, but I am writing this post in the past, so it isn't my birthday for me, but it is for you. Although, it will be for me when you read this . . . so, yes, today is my birthday.
I apologize, I am just wasting your time. Also, I do this every year, so I hope it doesn't seem wasteful to repeat once more:
A count of the days, counting down from thirteen,
From today, thirteen nights till we see Halloween.
You see, I have noticed that, in the past, the words I chose for the very first day of the countdown became a kind of arbitrary theme for the entire Halloween Celebration. See, 2013's first word was 'MONSTER', and I wrote about monsters in fiction, arachnid monsters and the monsters within my mind. 2014's word was 'BLOODY', and about how blood makes me feel vulnerable, and I wrote about fears that make me weak, the frailty of life, and the times my life nearly ended. Last year, 2015, I wrote about 'ANXIETY', and the conflicting, two-sided nature of how it stops and starts my creativity, then the entire post was about multi-faceted myths and creatures, I made a parody of decorating ideas (a two-faced post) and half of the countdown was about placing two creatures in conflict, fighting for supremacy.

I do not do this by design, so either the original post lends itself to the rest of the countdown's attitude, . . . or I'm wasting your time trying to invent some greater meaning to these posts.
Speaking of, the Word of the Day is: 'WASTE'
Waste /wayst/ v.t. 1. To use up or spend, without enough result; use to no avail; squander: To waste time; to waste words. 2. To fail to use: To waste an opportunity. 3. To destroy or wear away gradually. 4. To wear down or reduce in health or strength; emaciate; enfeeble: To be wasted by disease or hunger. 5. To destroy, devastate or ruin: A country wasted with fire and sword. 6. Colloquial To murder. ♦v.i. 7. To be used up or spent without enough result. 8. To become physically wasted, lose flesh or strength (often followed by away). 9. To diminish gradually: His health is wasting away. 10. To pass gradually: Time is wasting. ♦n. 11. The useless spending or use without enough result: Waste of material; waste of money. 12. Neglect, instead of use: waste of opportunity. 13. A gradual destroying; decay: The waste and repair of bodily tissue. 14. Ruin or devastation, as from war, fire, etc. 15. Wasteland (see definition). 16. Anything left over from production: Industrial waste. 17. Go to waste, to fail to be used; be wasted. 18. Lay waste, to destroy; devastate; ruin. ♦adj. 19. Not used, or in use: Waste energy. 20. (of land, regions, etc.) rough, uncultivated and lonely. 21. Left over or unnecessary: Waste products of manufacture. 22. Physiology Relating to material unused by or unusable to the organism. 23. Carrying waste material.
No, I am not planning on wasting your time. In fact, I like to be efficient. It's something that concerns me often, being efficient. I don't like it when things go to waste. I don't like throwing things out unless I have sucked them dry, and guaranteed that they cannot be used in the future; I don't like taking away an opportunity that someone else could use to greater effect unless such a person is undeserving and I don't like wasting your time. In fact, the original two times I claimed to be "wasting time" were meant to exemplify how one can easily second-guess themselves, about whether something they are doing has purpose or does not. So, you see, you can still put your faith in me, I won't let you down.
On the one hand, this relates to the 2015 Halloween Countdown, because one of the very things that caused me the greatest anxiety when I was suffering it was the idea of wasting time. Then, following upon the notion that life is merely a series of moments in time that we experience, I felt like I was wasting my life, or perhaps even that my life itself was a waste of time. It felt pointless; it felt meaningless & when you negate every moment in your life, it makes your death seem that much nearer. I then began to question whether death itself was a waste of time, I questioned whether meaning and purpose was a waste of time thinking about. I began to question who I was, whether I could even assess myself, and whether I could even assess my own mechanisms of questioning myself.
The saddest part is, all of this cyclical self-neglect and existential quandary meant that I wasted two weeks of my life before I saw a doctor; two weeks of panic, sleepless nights, darkness and depression. Thankfully, I got better.

But beyond my own personal worries, waste is often related to the idea of death. When we fight wars, we often call it a pointless waste of life, but also, when we die, our bodies rot, or waste away. To me, there are many elements of horror imbued within the concept of "waste", and I plan on exploring as many of them as I can during this countdown.

And, also, I plan on sharing some facts, some fiction and some fascinating, frightening fun with you during this years Halloween Countdown. Until then, I'm the Absurd Word Nerd, and I'm not going to waste another second with this post.

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