Monday, 4 March 2013

Beards & Glasses

Wow, I have been completely gutted.

See, I try to update every three days [unofficially], and so sometimes my schedule falls into this perfect alignment. Every three weeks, I do a post on Friday & Monday, which gives me two free days of weekend. But to make sure I have something to write about, I plan it on Friday, and I relax for two days. For Today, I had decided to talk about a new Google+ Community I am a part of, called "Why We Are Different".
I had it all set out, I had plans to go with . . . but then a friend of mine, another young blogger, wrote a blog post about it called 'A Conversation'.
Within it, she kind of said everything that I was planning on saying. So, now I don't have to, you can just read her post.

But that means I am now left with nothing to talk about . . .

Huh . . . so, how was your weekend?

 . . . okay, I'm not going to waste this post talking about nothing, so I started rifling through my 'Absurd Word Nerd backlog" for something to talk about, and I found something appropriate.
I was planning on talking about what makes us different. But since I can't, instead I am going to talk about some people that are the same. People that are the same as me.
The Word of the Day is: 'LOOKALIKE'.

Lookalike /'lookəluyk/ n. 1. A person or thing that looks like or closely resembles another.

The internet is full of interesting people. Some of them funny, some of them stupid & some of them even profound. 
Crazy and wonderful freaks and pop icons, some of them Weird, Some of them Wonderful but most of them (for some inexplicable reason) being middle-aged white guys with unkempt hair, glasses and a beard. That's MY look, damn it!

For a while, I thought this was some sick conspiracy. But rather than fight this horrible system of Gordon Freeman Lookalikes, I have decided to embrace it, and present, for your amusement:

The 6 Coolest People on the Internet (Who Look Like Me)

6. Terroja Lee Kincaid


Terroja is a Career Youtuber, known as The Amazing Atheist. He is anti-god and anti-religion, but more than that, he makes observations about the world which, even when they are batshit insane, have a foundation of truth in them.

What makes him So awesome?

For one thing, he has a what-the-fuck name like Terroja. I don't know what that means, but I get the feeling that calling him 'Terry' as a nickname wouldn't sit well.
But for another much more important thing, he talks about politics, religion and society in often well-thought out, and yet still curse-addled rants. It shows he can be intelligent and passionate. He can also be funny when either dealing with a stupid question, (or being forced to reiterate his point on an old question, like religion) and can be wonderfully sarcastic.

The only reason he's so far down [up?] on the list is that his work is very singular, and not really open. It's like watching a murder mystery. A question is asked, points are raised, and eventually a question is given. Sometimes you are left to ponder, but it often doesn't last long. Also, he isn't as family friendly. I don't mind that sort of thing, but it does make him less awesome that you can't show his videos to your mother.

Arbitrary Beard & Glasses points: 6.5 /10
This guy always has the beard, but sometimes when he doesn't cut his hair, he looks pretty messy. Also, the inconsistency of his glasses loses points. And his weight means that he looks very different from me, so he's not so much of a lookalike.

5. Hank Green/John Green


How could you not have heard about Vlogbrothers? They are the Nerdfighters ver. 1.0, unashamed nerds who use their nerdly goodness to fight against Worldsuck.

What makes him So awesome?

For one thing, they talk REALLY damn fast. That can be annoying to some, since you can miss words, but it's an internet video, so you can watch it again if you miss something. But the reason I mention the talking is because, since these two guys are always smiling and they talk about philosophy, art, religion, science, like, love and almost anything - and tend to do so in a positive manner - the beautiful mix of happy, good fun, smiles and speed always makes me feel better after watching a Nerdfighters video.
I should also mention that there are two guys here. That's important because this channel was started so that the guys, Hank and John, could talk to each other more, as brothers, and connect more. They succeeded, and in the process gathered followers to a movement of called Nerdfighters, whose goal is to slay worldsuck (hate, pain, sickness, stupidity, pollution, etcetera). but this isn't a comic book. Nerdfighters are real people, intelligent people, who help out by giving money to charities, raising awareness and helping with other similar issues. And doing really cool things to uplift those that need it.

Arbitrary Beard & Glasses points: 3.5 + 4.5 = 8.0 /10

Unfortunately these guys don't have beards, so they lose out on beard and glasses points. But they get a high score for three reasons. One, Because I look a LOT like John Green. Two, both Hank and John have had beards at one point or another for their long conversation. Three, they're freaking awesome! And as the nerdfighters say: Don't Forget To Be Awesome!

4. Doug Walker


He's the Nostalgia Critic. You know? That Guy with the Glasses.

What makes him So awesome?

Have you ever watched an old movie and thought, "well, that's a little silly." - that is essentially this guy's job description. As the Nostalgia Critic, Doug Walker reviews movies from, like, 20 years ago and with a synoptic look over the film, makes fun of a lot of the ridiculous plot points, moments, lines of dialogue, costume choices and the rest.
Now you may ask, "couldn't I just watch the movie and see that?" Well, yes. But that would mean you'd have to watch the movie. And some of these films are REALLY bad. As he says himself:
  "I remember it so that you don't have to."
The Nostalgia Critic can take an intolerable film, and turn it into a comedy masterpiece. And for moments when he isn't reviewing a bad film, there is always some comedy to be found in his work, whether it be comparing old films to modern remakes, listing cool clichés, scenes, favourite episodes or even reviewing good movies.
Unfortunately, after almost 200 videos of being a movie critic, The Nostalgia Critic had a stint as a movie maker which the internet responded to negatively. I'm sad to see that Doug Walker didn't get to pursue his dream of bigger pursuits.
But he's returned as the Nostalgia Critic, and seems to still be having fun, and his latest work promises to be just as entertaining as his old stuff.

Arbitrary Beard & Glasses points: 10 /10
He gets full points because he seems to have the exact same, well-trimmed, bearded face in every single video (except two).
Good work man, and really good personal grooming.

3. Benjamin Croshaw (AKA Yahtzee of Zero Punctuation)


Yahtzee, the guy who makes Zero Punctuation videos for

What makes him So awesome?

Do you like playing videogames? So does Yahtzee Croshaw. But you wouldn't know it, the way he talks about them in his videos. Yahtzee reviews new videogames, and in doing so he points out every little thing wrong in the game, nitpicking it down to the bone to find out if, perhaps, the skeleton has a fetch-quest that doesn't make him want to hunt down the creator of the game and beat him to death with an angry cat tied to the end of a stick. Yahtzee also has a talent for metaphors, one greater than me, in that snarky British style. For those of you who don't know what a metaphor is, he thankfully illustrates his ideas with simple, yet instructive little cut-out style figures.
And his rapid-fire, speech without pause (inspiring the title of the videos) is topped off with the fact that he is also, actually reviewing games, so not only can you come to him for entertainment and comedy, but also to find out about upcoming game releases and whether or not you'll despise them. And when you're done playing a game, you can look up to see if he's reviewed one of your OLD games, and laugh along as he accurately describes the game with insulting detail.

Arbitrary Beard & Glasses points: 8.0 /10
Another one with good consistency, Yahtzee gets high marks. But lose two because 1, we don't often get to see his face, so he could just be cheating; and 2, you can't see his hair, because he always wears his trilby when he presents himself. The hat is cool, but this isn't beard, glasses & hat points, so he misses out.

2. Robert Chipman


MovieBob. He can also be found at

What makes him So awesome?

Well, Moviebob does a lot of stuff, and so he's sort of cheating, since he gets three times more coverage than my other contenders with Escape to the Movies, The Game Overthinker & The Big Picture the three internet video series under his belt. But there's a much more important reason he gets this high on the list. Like Terroja, he likes to talk about politics and culture while swearing. But not as much, and he bleeps it for the kiddies. Like Nerdfighters, he can have an uplifting view of the world, but it's brought back down to earth with sobering reality, which makes his optimism have that much more vigour. Like Doug, he reviews movies, and it's fun to hear him tear into crap, but it's just as good to see him explain WHY it's crap, or why it's good in the instance of good movies. He doesn't review games, but he does talk about gaming's impact on . . . well, everything, and like Yahtzee he illustrated this with pictures he gets from Google Images, or draws.
But what sets Robert apart, for me, is that in that well-spoken American Radio Voice [which isn't his true accent, so kudos for putting that on] he always speaks with an intelligence that isn't condescending. It's a teacher's voice. You can understand what Bob is saying and where he is coming from, even if you disagree with him, because he illustrates his point so perfectly in his words. To me, in all of Bob's videos, it's like he's just come home from a hard day. So he sits up, relaxes his feet, grabs a drink and sighs, sometimes woefully or painfully; sometimes with confusion; sometimes with relaxed joy or in preparation to explain without breath how excited he is. Either way, you turn to him and say: "What' on your mind, Bob?"
And he tells you, from beginning to end.
And since Bob once admitted that, in his videos, he has at times had to edit out the *clink* of him taking a sip from his scotch glass, I think I'm not far off the mark . . .

Beard & Glasses points: 5 /10
Bob is a cool guy, but like Yahtzee doesn't show his face much. But from what I've seen, as cool as he is, his beard is cleanly cropped and his glasses are pretty classy. And his hair is very closely cropped too, so, he doesn't really look that much like me. Hence, he loses points, sorry dude.

1. Matthew Aaron John Anderson


The Absurd Word Nerd, also known as Kelnius.

What makes him So awesome?

He writes a blog where he pretty much celebrates his own opinion, diverts into strange meta-blogposts about how he talks to an ancient, talking Dictionary & sometimes divulges in blogfiction. I can't even really describe why he's so awesome, not in one paragraph at least, you should really just read his blog.

Beard & Glasses points: 7.5 /10
He looks exactly like me, so he gets high points. But loses a couple of points because after doing some research, I found out the he was me. And that's just cheating!

Well, those are my top 6 coolest people who look like me. I was hoping for a Top 10 List, but some of the other people that look like me kind of suck . . .
But if you want, you can help find the bottom four. If you know any real people that look like me, and are awesome, feel free to let the world know, and leave a comment.

See you later, folks. Until then, I'm gonna go clean my glasses & trim my beard . . .

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